“She’s marrying Hal Nelson,” my dad said delicately and glanced at Julius.
“Dammit,” Julius moaned softly.
My world was imploding in around me, Amos was next door and now Jen was within disease range. Sammy tried to cheer me by licking my face and it only made me think about Jennifer and all the things she had licked… including my husband.
“I don’t think Julius and I will be coming to Cartwright, so just plan on coming here to see the baby.”
“Tobi, she won’t keep me away,” he said, trying to be brave.
The joy of our announcement was quickly diminished by the news my father shared. We all sat in silence and my parents left when I began spending more time talking in my head than to them.
I walked over to my guy and gave him a supportive hug. “I’m sorry, you must want to die.”
“It won’t bother me to run into Jennifer. I found my soulmate and all I feel for her is gratitude that she cheated on me.”
I watched him closely as he spoke, looking for anything to show me he was planning a suicide or possibly a murder. But, all I saw was love. He honestly didn’t care Jen was moving back to Cartwright because we were a bonified family now.
“I’ll love you for eternity,” I said, and he kissed me in a way that set my body on fire. I began pulling on the clothes he put on for my parents and just when I got him stripped down, my huge breakfast sent me running to the bathroom for a new round of vocal vomiting.
There is nothing uglier than naked vomiting… unless it is Amos naked vomiting.
Julius walked slowly into the room behind me and reached out to hold back my hair. I was making my soulmate’s life miserable and had no way to stop it. It sent me into tears and I begged him not to find a new soulmate, missing the whole point of a soulmate to begin with.
He put me back in bed and then left for an hour. I wasn’t sure he would return and felt overwhelming relief when I heard his car pull into the garage.
He brought me some magazines, soda to settle my stomach, and a large bouquet of roses. I smiled with admiration until I pulled the last item from the bag.
He ducked, just in time, to miss being hit square in the head by the book of baby names.
Chapter 20
My pregnancy sickness seemed to come and go… like Travis’ accent. I would cautiously open the fridge each morning to peek at the food. If it didn’t cause me to run for the bathroom, I enjoyed breakfast. My sweet husband assured me he could handle the club alone. In fact, he insisted I stay away. I think he was afraid I would vomit all over the kitchen and cause him to lose his food license.
I was eating a bowl of cereal and reading a rag magazine when Julius walked down the stairs with a hesitant look on his face. “What?” I asked, before he could try to soften the blow of whatever was coming.
“How are you feeling?” He asked. What a chicken.
“Well enough to hear what you need to tell me,” I insisted.
Did news really require a person to be in good health? If that was the rule, I never would have told my mother while she had the flu I ruined her pearl neckless by cutting the beads and throwing them at the birds by my school. Maybe she handled it well because it was her fault for letting me watch the movie, The Birds.
“So, are you good with it?” Julius asked softly.
I gasped, not because his news was shocking, but he didn’t wait for my paying attention face. This news must be big… or awful. He had awful news and wanted me to be okay with it. I was running dreadful news through my head when he gently put his hand on my shoulder. He was worried I would have a physical reaction and needed to restrain me. This was more than I could bear.
“No, don’t,” I shouted, thinking he wanted to leave me… or die.
“I can’t close the club,” he said guiltily.
I was lost. If he died, the club would have to close. But, if he left me, the club would stay open. I jumped up from my chair and pointed right at his face. “I have a license that says you have to stay. Don’t think I won’t take you to court and force you to love me.”
“What?” he asked with confusion.
“What?” I repeated, because quite frankly, I wasn’t sure what I was saying. I mean, would a judge really condemn him to a life with me if he wanted out?
“The game is the same weekend as Greek Week. I can’t close the club,” he reiterated.
“Game?” I was so confused I felt like I was having an out-of-body experience.
Julius took a deep breath and then helped me back into my chair. He sat against the table and looked right into my eyes. “Ready?” he asked.
This was more like it. “Ready,” I smiled.
My family is being honored at the Giants game. I can’t go and wondered if you could take my place?”
“Giants?” I asked, because if there is a team of Amos’ I’m not going anywhere near that place.
“The San Francisco Giants are a baseball team,” he explained. “You would have to attend the game with my family.”
I didn’t know if he meant his blood relatives, or all the semi-family members brought on by William dear and Charlotte’s phases. I was just about to ask when I finally realized the need for all his concern. S’bastard.
I jumped up from my chair and he quickly grabbed onto my arm. “My mother really wants you to be there,” he said pleadingly.
I pulled easily from his grasp and decided to solve his club closing dilemma. “Travis can run the club,” I suggested.
“He’s already coming to help. Sara will run Dixieland that week.”
Wow, Sara knew how to run a club. I wouldn’t have a clue how to run Driftwood for a day, let alone a week. I would most likely offer free food and drinks just to keep a large crowd and bankrupt Julius in the process.
“Fine, I’ll go on one condition,” I stated, trying to be firm in my negotiating.
Julius gave me a slight smirk, knowing I could never be firm. Well, this time he was wrong. I could be firm. I would be as firm as…as… My eyes wandered down to his dangler and then back to see him smiling widely. Dang it!
“What’s your condition?” he pushed.
“S’bastard isn’t allowed to speak to me,” I said adamantly.
Julius winced, like my condition wasn’t feasible. He never denied my requests, granted he often talked me out of my requests, but never outright denied me. I crossed my arms to show him this wasn’t negotiable. Or, at least distract him by showing off my soon to be impressive maternity bosom.
“I asked him to pick you up. I don’t want you driving home so late alone,” Julius said casually, as if it was normal to spend copious amounts of time with someone you despise.
I shook my head as I said, “Never going to happen.”
“Honey….”
“Never, Julius. Do you hear me, I will not spend that much time in S’bastard’s car?”
“What if I rent a limo?” he suggested softly.
“I said… wait, a limo?” He quickly nodded and pulled out his phone. But I wasn’t on board just yet. “A limo for me, right? Not me and S’bastard, just me… alone… by myself… sans your horrible brother.”
“Just you,” he promised, and I began jumping up and down. I had never been in a limo. I pictured bottles of Champaign and girls flashing themselves as they screamed out the sunroof. I looked down at Budge, still not visible but possibly able to hear. I wouldn’t be able to drink and screaming wouldn’t be motherly. Plus, I didn’t have my impressive chest just yet.
“Fine,” I said sadly and went back to my breakfast.
Now, I had the unpleasant task of finding something appropriate to wear. I wanted to look professional, but I also wanted to party in my limo. I needed something comfortable for the game, but also classy enough to represent my amazing husband. I needed Kev, but I only had access to Claire.
We sat in front of the computer as she put together various ‘looks.’ I settled on black jeans, a black Giants tee, and an orange blazer.
I didn’t ask Claire if I could wear my orange shoes, I would make an executive decision.
When the night arrived for the honorary game, I was so excited to ride in the limo. I rushed from my house and jumped into the back. Then I sat, and sat, and sat. Limos are way oversold. I tried to phone anyone I could think of, but nobody picked up the call. I finally drifted off to sleep.
The car came to a stop and someone opened the door before I had a chance to sit up. It was a very enthusiastic woman holding a clipboard. I moved to climb from the car, but my foot was asleep, and I fell onto my knees.
“Are you okay?” She gasped.
“Yea, I’m not totally awake,” I informed her.
She held out her hand and I welcomed her assistance. “I’m Veronica. I’ll be your escort today.”
“Escort?” I asked, as I quickly looked around to see I was standing in front of a huge stadium. Now I was glad Julius didn’t come. He already did his time with an escort; married her in fact.
“William and Charlotte are here already so we are still waiting on Sebastian and his date,” she said with a wide smile.
“Date?” I was relieved to hear I wouldn’t have to interact with S’bastard and hoped his date was a nice woman. “Do you know who his date is?”
“Penelope Swensen, she is the current Ms. California.”
I groaned and shook my head. Of course, S’bastard is dating someone else’s wife. It was a family trait he inherited… but Julius did not. I felt horrible for Mr. California, because you would hope your spouse upgrades, not downgrades.
At that moment S’bastard arrived, alone. It threw poor Veronica for a moment and she began writing furiously on her clipboard. I glared in warning at him as he walked toward me, hoping to set the mood for the entire day. He smiled and looked me up and down. Gross… but I do look great in Orange.
He walked right up to my side and said, “You look hot.”
“Pfffttt,” was my response. I looked away because he caught me off guard. I knew he was teasing me, but I expected something mean, not over the top. I mean, I’m pregnant, although I’m not showing. But, who finds lanky girls with thick, long hair hot?
Veronica led us inside the stadium and into a room filled with people. I rushed over to Charlotte and she hugged me tightly. “I’m so happy you came to represent Julius,” she offered, and then quickly began introducing me to various people around the room.
A large man smiled widely and nodded at my shirt. “You have my number,” he stated.
“No, I don’t,” I said quickly and loudly. I didn’t want rumors getting back to my husband. “I don’t even have my phone with me,” I lied.
I walked away and found a table filled with food, so I began eating for me and Budge. I was enjoying my third chocolate donut when Veronica told me we would make our way to the field soon. I wrapped the donut and put it in my pocket for later.
The crowd applauded loudly as we were introduced, but I really had no idea why we were being honored. The loudspeaker was echoing throughout the stadium and I couldn’t understand anything being said. William dear waved at one point and everyone screamed. Maybe they were proud of him for beating Microsoft one quarter.
We were ushered to a private box and everyone was extremely annoyed I had to take the stairs. There was no way I was going to kiss S’bastard. I saw another table filled with food, so I dumped my wrapped donut and got a fresh one. As soon as I sat, Veronica joined me.
“You must be very proud to be a Carmichael,” she said proudly.
“Eh,” I shrugged, because I was proud to be Julius’ wife, but not so much a Carmichael. “I’m not a lesbian,” I informed her outright. If she was hoping to get anywhere with me I wanted to squash that hope right from the start.
Her brow furrowed, and she stared at me for a moment before excusing herself and leaving me to my donut. I watched the game, not understanding anything but enjoying the atmosphere until S’bastard sat next to me.
“I heard you’re pregnant,” he said with a grin, as if he was the one who impregnated me.
“Julius is a stud,” I stated truthfully.
“At least you’ll get child support,” he laughed. “And, Uncle Sebastian will teach the kid everything it needs to know.”
I knew Julius and I didn’t think this through enough. There was no way S’bastard would be allowed anywhere near my sweet Budge. We needed to move… and go into the witness protection program. Surely, the government would keep Budge from being witnessed by his horrid uncle.
“Julius will support his family forever, because we are in this for life,” I informed him angrily. “And, you will stay far from our child.”
He laughed loudly as if my pronouncement was comical. I didn’t find anything funny, I despised this man. He leaned closer and spoke softly, “I think you hate me so much because you want me.”
I turned to look at him. “Want you for what?” I wanted him to move back to Chicago, I wanted him to become mute, I wanted him to cease to exist, but what did he think I wanted?
He nodded toward his lap and said, “You want me to show you what a real man can do.”
Nope, that was not what I wanted.
Luckily for me, and unluckily for S’bastard, the camera inside the booth settled on us and projected to the large screens throughout the stadium. Budge decided to show his uncle exactly what he thought of him by rejecting all the donuts mamma fed him. They flew from my mouth in one large explosion and landed directly in S’bastard’s lap.
He screamed like a little girl and jumped from his chair. The crowd roared and cheered. They must hate him, too.
All in all, it was a great game!
Chapter 21
By the time I arrived home, Julius was waiting for me. He looked tired as he pulled me into his arms. His lips rested on my neck and I heard him inhale deeply. I didn’t know if he was feeling amorous, or melancholy. I ran my fingernails lightly over his back and he sighed.
“How did I get so lucky?” he whispered.
I pulled back to see him smiling. “You want to get lucky?” I asked, to clarify his mood.
“No,” he said and took hold of my hand as he pulled me upstairs. The bathroom was filled with candles, flowers, and a bath was drawn.
I asked one more time, “You want to get lucky?”
He chuckled and began removing my clothing. When he helped me into the tub I held out my hand, so he would join me. I sat in front of him as he nestled my back against his chest and kissed my neck and ear continuously. Since he appeared to be in a good mood I decided to confess I vomited all over his brother.
“I did something awful to your brother,” I said softly.
“I know,” he said and continued with his soft kisses.
“He told you?” I asked, because man he was a wuss for telling my husband on me.
“I saw it,” he whispered.
I sat up and turned to look at him. “You were there?” I was ready to unleash on him. Why would he make me represent him if he was going to turn up?
“It was televised,” he said with a grin. “You were on the kiss cam.”
I gasped, and my hand went directly to my mouth, as if it could go back in time and stop the vomit from heading for S’bastard. I didn’t know it was a kiss cam… and did they really think I would kiss a man because the camera happened to land on us? It was presumptive, and sexist if you ask me. If given a choice, I would have kissed my escort before my brother-in-law.
“He said I wanted him, and I absolutely don’t want him. Budge defended me, or maybe he hates donuts. Either way, I’m not sorry for what happened. I would do it again if he ever says anything so vile to me.”
Julius pulled me back to his chest and placed his hands on my stomach. “I’ll speak to Sebastian and make sure he never says anything like that again,” he promised.
“He said I was hot, too,” I tattled.
“You are hot, but I’ll speak to him about that, too.”
“I’m not hot,�
�� I mumbled. I was good with quirky, or possibly tolerable, but I was far from hot.
Julius was quiet for a bit, so I took it as affirmation. I wasn’t offended, I never tried to be hot, just acceptable. He finally placed his lips on my shoulder and asked, “Does it make me a jerk that I like the fact you don’t realize how hot you are?”
I turned my head to see if he was laughing, but he looked sad. I sat up fully and he explained further. “Ashley was an intellectual, a nerdy girl. Jen was a…”
“Whore,” I finished for him.
He nodded and said, “She’s cartoonish, over the top in every way. But you….”
“Me?” I prodded.
“God, Tobi, look at you?”
I stood in the tub to look at the mirrors lining our closet. I saw a woman slightly too thin, with breasts a bit too small, hair a little too thick, and a mouth that was a smidge too big. I looked down at my gorgeous husband and saw tears in his eyes.
“Tobi, you are perfection.”
I fell onto my knees and devoured the man who found me perfect. I then slept soundly in my bed as he cleaned up the bathroom. Turns out slapping the water as you scream about your perfect wife makes a huge mess.
I stayed away from the club for weeks until Julius came home one night acting weird. I tried to get him to open up, but he tried to change the subject the entire time. He showered and climbed into bed, so I rubbed his back and waited for him to find the words he wanted to use.
“Tobi, please don’t get angry, okay?”
When someone starts a sentence that way, of course, it makes you want to get angry. Just the thought of being told not to be angry stirs up the anger and makes you want to tell them not to tell you what to do. I looked up to see if he waited for my attention and saw him looking nervously at me.
“Jennifer came by the club with her husband.”
“Do you want me to call the exterminator tomorrow?” I asked him, certain there was a poison specifically for whores.
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