by RJ Blain
My wolf growled at the threat, but instead of echoing her noise, I stared at Dalton before turning my attention to Ryan.
Ryan fidgeted and refused to make eye contact with me.
“If I join a pack, does that mean the issue of how I became a Fenerec is no longer an issue?”
“That’s typically how it works. Your Alpha would take responsibility for you. Unless the rogue Fenerec has broken one of the taboos, the Inquisition prefers to see a Fenerec relocated rather than killed. Unfortunately, most rogues have violated the taboos.”
“What are the taboos?”
“There’s a lot of them, but the most important one involves telling unauthorized Normals about the Inquisition. Unauthorized rituals, such as the one Ryan did on you, are also considered taboo, but they’ll consider circumstances, especially in cases like yours. Killing Normals is taboo as well. Anything that compromises the safety of Fenerec, witches, and other supernatural is taboo. One day, I’m sure the Inquisition will be exposed to the public, but until that day comes, we hide among them. Even if we are exposed, I suspect the rules won’t change much. While we can be killed, Fenerec are tough, and so are witches. Normals are fragile, especially when compared to Fenerec.”
“And if Ryan and I find this rogue pack and kill them?”
“Well, you’ll be considered the darlings of the Inquisition to say the least. They’re upset enough this group almost killed a submissive—Ryan, that is. Add in the number of Normal lives lost? They want this dealt with immediately.”
“But we’re two against how many? An entire pack?”
Ryan growled, and I fixed my gaze on him. Once again, his eyes were bright and glowed with a light of their own. “There’s no way an untried bitch and I can take out a pack of that size. There’s at least twenty of them, maybe more.”
“I’m authorized to help you.”
“Your pack has fifteen members. The rogues still have the advantage.”
The way Dalton smiled chilled me to the bone. “We may be fewer in number, but I will take quality over quantity any day, Ryan. Most in my pack have spent their lives like you, as operatives for the Inquisition. Our operations were in the battlefield. We weren’t approached for this job. We volunteered. Take that as you will.”
Ryan tensed. “Black ops. All of you?”
“You’d be the first we’d allow in who wasn’t, and only because your skills lie in other areas. Fenerec need a pack. Being submissive makes it easier for you to handle being a lone wolf, but you can’t suppress your instincts forever.”
My wolf was offended at the way Ryan pointed at me. “And her?”
I couldn’t tell which one of us had the urge, or if it was something we decided together, but I launched off my stool and latched my teeth to Ryan’s throat, growling a warning.
Dalton grasped the back of my neck and squeezed. “All right, puppy. Maybe Ryan deserves it, but we can’t talk if you’re busy trying to get into a dominancy battle with him. Ryan, once she’s gotten better control over her instincts, I have the feeling she’ll be quite the little schemer. I’ve seen her business work; I thought the proposal was from her father, it was that advanced. He’s taught her negotiation, she’s got good ideas, and she’s able to find bipartisan solutions to problems. Assuming she can keep her teeth to herself, she’ll fit in just fine in operations.”
Letting go of Ryan’s throat wasn’t in my wolf’s plans, and she liked the way he stayed still, waiting, with his attention fully on us. If I tightened my hold on him, it could go one of two ways. I could rebuke him, something my wolf considered but disliked compared to our other option.
With a single nip, my wolf was certain we could keep Ryan’s attention on us.
Dalton’s hold on my neck tightened. “Matia, release him. This should be all the lesson you need to understand why she needs a pack.”
I growled, lifted my hands, and grabbed hold of Ryan’s shoulders, tangling my fingers in his shirt.
“She’s just got a hold on me. That does not mean she needs a pack.”
“Probably hasn’t decided if she’s going to kick your ass for disrespecting her or if she wants you for pursuits entirely inappropriate for the moment.”
Ryan laughed, and his throat vibrated against my mouth. Unable to resist the temptation, I flicked the tip of my tongue against him. He tasted a little salty and a little sweet, and my wolf’s interest in him intensified.
“You’re pretty relaxed for a man with his throat in a bitch’s teeth,” Dalton muttered.
“I’d be more relaxed if you let go of her neck. I’ve always been of the opinion it’s easier to just let a new Fenerec learn about their instincts by experiencing them. If I feel threatened, I’ll fight back. I don’t. Of course, she’s testing the waters with her teeth on my throat, and it could go either way. What can I say? I’m willing to take the risk.”
“Of course you are, you want her for your mate.” Disgust laced Dalton’s tone, although his scent sweetened. My wolf found the dichotomy interesting.
I didn’t care. What would I do with Ryan? I gave his neck another lick before releasing him. When I straightened, Dalton let go of me and stepped out of my reach, stirring my wolf’s desire for the hunt.
“Your instincts are out of control,” Ryan observed, taking hold of my hands and prying me off his shirt. With his attention on Dalton, he said, “We can’t risk exposing her to Normals yet. Letting her loose to hunt the other Fenerec would be disastrous.”
“If I might be so bold, Ryan, I have an idea,” Gavin said from his spot in the sitting room.
“What idea?”
“Challenge her. Winner takes all. Do you want her for your mate bad enough to take her and her wolf on? If she’s going to shake out dominant, you’re going to have to prove you’re worthy of her anyway. If she wins, you submit to her and join our pack. If you win and she submits to you, you claim her as your mate and function as her Alpha until you decide it’s in your best interests to join our pack anyway, especially if you want a puppy down the road.”
Dalton crossed his arms over his chest. “Ryan’s submissive. He can’t function as an Alpha.”
“If it means the difference between life and death for his mate, you better believe he’ll step up to the plate. He’s already proven he can dominate stronger Fenerec if he’s cornered.”
Without me holding him in place, Ryan scooted out of my reach. If it weren’t for his smirk, I would’ve worried he was angry at me for biting him. “I’m not getting into a fight with her. She might have weighed over fifteen pounds during her first shift. She fit in my jacket. My leather jacket. A challenge is completely out of the question.”
Humming thoughtfully, Dalton hooked my stool with his foot and drew it closer. “Did she grow any before she shifted back to human?”
Ryan shook his head. “No.”
“Agreed, then. A challenge is out of the question. She might pick up a few pounds during her second shift but not enough to face off against you. It wouldn’t be a fair challenge.”
I gave the stool a nudge in Ryan’s direction and sat beside him, keeping a close eye on him in case he decided to run.
If he did, my wolf was eager for the chase.
“Miss Evans, he’s not prey,” Dalton murmured.
I tilted my head to the side, matching Ryan’s smirk with one of my own. “Why do Fenerec require packs?”
Dalton leaned back against the counter, watching me with a bright gleam in his eyes. “Smart question. We run the risk of our predators taking over, that’s why. We find stability in family units, which are our packs. When we have others to protect and others to support us, we can maintain the balance between human and wolf. Fenerec on their own may run wild. Once the wolf takes full control, a witch might be able to save them, but usually not. Think about how you’re behaving right now. As a human, you’d never behave this way, would you? As a human, you were polite to a fault, quiet, and you made every last word count.”
It
was true, but my wolf didn’t understand what was wrong with the change.
We had a mate to catch and defend, and we both liked Ryan. My wolf did not mind if Ryan submitted to her—or us. If he did, we could safeguard him. The here and now mattered more than the future to my wolf, and that’s where we differed.
Tomorrow needed to matter as much as today. My wolf’s disapproval chilled me, but I ignored her.
“It doesn’t go the other way? The human in me can’t hurt the wolf?”
Dalton shook his head. “Think about your life. What instincts did you have? Few, if any. Humans have lost them. The part of us that was human is not strong enough to subjugate the wolf, not completely. Your wolf might sleep from time to time, but you’ll no longer look at the world through human eyes. You’re no longer a human. As you age as a Fenerec, if you don’t lose control of your wolf and run wild, you’ll find you’ll become a blend of who you once were and the wolf you are now. Younger Fenerec run a higher chance of running wild, but the older ones are far more dangerous if they turn.”
“So a pack helps prevent this?”
“Yes.”
I stared at Ryan. “And what about him? He doesn’t have a pack.”
“Eventually, maybe in a few years, maybe in decades—perhaps even in centuries—his wolf will take over. The part of him that’s human will disappear, leaving him an uncontrolled, vicious animal—a very smart, vicious animal. The Inquisition will be forced to kill him. It’s a slower process for submissive Fenerec, usually. Ryan’s always been an exception. Don’t let his appearance fool you. He’s an older wolf.”
Looking Ryan over, nothing about him looked very old. “How old are you?”
“Old enough,” Ryan replied, his voice as tense as his body.
“As a Fenerec, he’s older than I am. He’s in his fifties, maybe early sixties. It isn’t uncommon for a male Fenerec to spend decades searching for a mate, although Ryan’s been at it longer than most. Many Fenerec are hesitant to search among human women for a mate because they fear the Inquisition, which leaves witches, Fenerec-born, and those who are approved to be introduced. Fenerec females will pick human males, too, although it’s less common. How old were you when you underwent the ritual?”
“Twelve,” Ryan mumbled.
“Submissive females are in high demand as a mate; males generally have an instinct to protect females, which puts submissive males at a distinct disadvantage. They don’t offer protection to females, and most females have a natural inclination for the strongest male they can hunt down.” Dalton snickered and made himself a mug of coffee. “Welcome to life as a Fenerec.”
“Do you have a mate, then?”
“I do. She’s not my first. We’ve been mated for ten years now.”
“She’s human, though, right? You said your pack doesn’t have any Fenerec females. So, as a female Fenerec, I’ll be expected to find a mate, probably a Fenerec, and belong to a pack?”
Dalton shrugged. “My mate is human—for now. It probably doesn’t seem all that important to you, but come winter, you’ll get caught up in the rut like the rest of us. It’s not exactly optional for us. Our wolves’ instincts come out strongest in the winter. As for belonging to a pack, it’ll be necessary. If you have no control over your instincts, you’ll be a risk to yourself and others. Maybe you don’t realize it now, but you’re a lot stronger than you were before, and you can easily kill someone without meaning to. Isn’t that right, Ryan?”
Ryan lowered his eyes to the floor, sighed, and nodded, and in his scent, my wolf detected his misery.
I wondered, as did my wolf, but I kept quiet. Maybe later, once I had a chance to get to know him better, I’d ask what had happened to make him smell so sad.
“We’ve given you a lot to think about, Miss Evans. Why don’t we take a break for a bit? Ryan, take her to bed so you both can get some rest. Give her a chance to think things through. You’ve got to be tired from standing guard during her ritual sickness. I’ll hold down the fort and start making plans to deal with the rogue pack. We’ll put our heads together and see what we can figure out. I know you’ve already been questioned about the attack, but I want us all to talk about it when we’re fresh.”
With a growl so soft I barely heard it, Ryan rose from his stool, his gaze still lowered as though he was afraid of what Dalton might do if he dared to make eye contact with the other Fenerec. I stood, sliding my way between the two males, baring my teeth at Dalton in silent warning.
Instead of angering him, my defiance and aggression made Dalton smile, which annoyed my wolf into growling in my head. I didn’t let her take over my voice, however, backing out of the kitchen with Ryan.
I didn’t like the way Dalton looked down on Ryan, and I really didn’t like the way Ryan bowed so easily beneath the pressure of the other Fenerec’s stare. Before I could voice my displeasure, Ryan took hold of my elbow and dragged me to the bedroom. My wolf relaxed when we entered the room we had shared with him for so long.
With a heavy sigh, Ryan flopped onto the bed.
There was still too much I didn’t understand, and I hated my ignorance. When I worked with my father, I always had the option of finding someone who had the answers I needed. Corporate life was so much easier to understand than Fenerec. Too many emotions boiled under my skin and made it hard to concentrate on the facts.
I made decisions on facts not feelings, and with a wolf sharing my body, emotions I had no control over crested like waves battering the shore before they retreated only to surge again.
While Dalton could have answered my questions, my wolf was uneasy around the Alpha, which left Ryan as my only viable option. I didn’t mind; Ryan had done nothing but help us both, and I was grateful for everything he had done.
Because of him, I lived, and I wanted to repay him for the risks he had taken for me. I would begin with thanking him.
“Hey, Ryan?”
Soft snoring answered me. I smiled, worked the blanket out from beneath him, and stretched out beside him before covering us both.
Chapter Seventeen
I woke to Ryan growling in my ear, his breath warming my skin. I jerked, scrambling to sit up, searching for the cause of his irritation and found the bedroom dark with light streaming in where the curtain didn’t fully block the window.
“What is it?” I whispered, my body tense and my wolf wary, waiting for the threat I couldn’t see.
“We’re going out for a while,” Dalton said from the doorway. “Sorry to wake you. We’ll be gone for a few hours. It’s stopped snowing, so we’re taking advantage of the opportunity. We’ll be back with replacement supplies, Ryan. The Inquisition found a snowmobile I could borrow and took care of the shopping, but it’ll take a bit to get back up here. Couldn’t you have lived a bit closer to the main road?”
“No,” Ryan grumbled, burrowing under the blanket.
“We’ll be back, and when we are, we’ll figure out what our next step is.” Dalton retreated down the hallway, and Ryan relaxed beside me.
There were a lot of things I didn’t understand about Fenerec, but my wolf believed Dalton had somehow frightened or worried Ryan.
What I didn’t understand was Ryan’s reaction. “Why did you growl at him like that?”
“If he hadn’t woken me up, I wouldn’t have growled at him,” Ryan muttered.
There was far too much I didn’t know about Ryan, and my wolf was eager to learn more about our prospective mate. “You growl when you wake up?”
“Not usually. He’s in my territory.”
Understanding struck hard and fast. While the cabin belonged to Ryan, Dalton was the dominant Fenerec. Although I didn’t understand what made Ryan submissive and Dalton dominant, Ryan either wasn’t willing or able to drive the Alpha away.
“You haven’t growled at me for that.”
Ryan chuckled, and the sound rumbled in his chest. “I want you in my territory. If growling will keep you in my territory, I’ll growl at you all you
want.”
My wolf was intrigued, as was I. However, with Dalton out of the way, I wanted to start learning so I could make informed decisions. I couldn’t keep letting my wolf’s urges take control.
The first thing I needed to do was understand Fenerec, their packs, and what life would be like for me in the future—a future I hadn’t anticipated having after the destruction at La Guardia. “Can you explain packs to me?”
“I’m not the best one to explain. I haven’t been in a pack for decades.”
“Why not? Why don’t you want to be in a pack?”
“You’re a business woman.”
“Yes.”
“Consider a business. You’re at the top of the ladder, right?”
I chuckled and shook my head. “Not quite.”
“Close enough. You’re near the top. You’re responsible for everyone beneath you, aren’t you? You’re from a pretty big company, so maybe you don’t know everyone personally, but you’re still responsible for them.”
It was true, and it had been a part of why I had laid down the groundwork to have Laura become my assistant. She—everyone—was my responsibility, and it had been as much my failure as Human Resources’s she had been mistreated by Harthel.
Would I be able to return to work? Would I ever be able to contain my wolf enough to pretend I was still just another human when I wasn’t?
I clenched my teeth and lifted my chin. “That’s right. I’m responsible for them.”
“In the corporate world, I’m the equivalent of the night-shift janitor, the person who does a job but is never actually seen—I’m the person who comes and cleans up everyone else’s messes. Many Fenerec need someone or something to protect. I’ve been in three packs, and they’ve all been the same. To protect is to control for Fenerec. So, I always end up kept in the equivalent of a jail, but because they’re Fenerec, the jail is filled with creature comforts. They’re all the same.”