The Sweetest Sin

by Jess Michaels

  * * *

  Landon kept his arms around Juliana, holding her close, but he was utterly confused. She was hysterical, yes, but every time she repeated that what she’d done had been for nothing, he wondered what the hell she meant. What had she done, sacrificed for her sister?

  Sobs wracked her, shaking her body and he pushed the thought aside. Now was the time for comfort, not inquisition. There would be time for that later after she had cried herself out. When she was more rational.

  “I will do everything in my power to find them,” he murmured. “I will retrieve Evelyn and use every resource I have to ensure Sin does her no more harm.”

  She shivered, another sob breaking from her throat. Over the years they’d been apart, Landon had often longed for her to feel the same kind of pain he had. Now that she was, he wished for nothing else than to take that pain away. Seeing her suffer didn’t give him the pleasure he once thought it would.

  In fact, it only made his own torment all the more keen. Every time she sobbed, it tore at his heart. Her every gasping breath made his chest ache.

  “Shhh, sweetheart,” he soothed, brushing her hair away from her face as he cradled her even closer. “I will make it right, I swear that to you.”

  Her sobs slowed and the shivers that wracked her body grew slower and further apart. Finally, he loosened his arms, drawing away to look down into her eyes. They shone with tears, the blue dark and dull with painful emotions.

  Juliana relaxed in his embrace, staring up at him. Her hand lifted as she stroked his cheek with her fingertips. He tensed beneath the infinitely tender touch, but she didn’t draw away at his reaction. She simply let her fingers trail lower, cupping his neck, massaging the tight muscles there even as she lifted her face to him.

  He gave in to her insistent tugging and lowered his head. Closer and closer until their lips touched.

  When they kissed at the Cresterton ball, it had been a kiss of passionate anger. Of claiming. Of surrender to the inevitable.

  But this kiss was different. Gentle. Giving. Her lips parted and she gently traced his lips with the tip of her tongue.

  Landon drew back sharply and looked at her. What was this about?

  “Don’t you want me?” she whispered, her voice harsh.

  He stared. “If this is only some part of a game, then no. I don’t.”

  She turned her face at his words and he saw real pain in her expression. As real as the pain she felt when she thought of her sister’s predicament. Still, he had to wonder…was this just her way of turning the tables on him in this dance of desire?

  She struggled to pull away, but he held her firm. If he wanted to know the truth, she couldn’t run. Then again, neither could he.

  “You are the only one playing games, Landon,” she said, not meeting his gaze as a fresh tear made its way down her cheek. “I am only seeking comfort. The kind I’ve not experienced since we were together in Scotland. Perhaps I don’t deserve it, but I don’t deserve your censure either. I kissed you because I wanted you to help me forget what is happening to Evelyn. I wanted you to make the night bearable.” She dared to peek at him. “But if you cannot, I understand. I made a bargain with you and I’ll follow whatever order you make of me.”

  Shock worked through him like a lightening bolt to a divining rod. She sought solace in his touch? She remembered their time in Scotland as one of comfort, despite the way she’d abandoned him?

  Now he had to make a choice. He could continue his emotional war with her by denying her the comfort of his touch. It would keep his distance, let her know that he would not be depended upon after she crushed his dreams.

  Or he could set aside the anger that had been his constant companion for so long… and touch her. Hold her. Kiss her. Love her like the past had never interfered. Give her what she needed. And in return receive something he wanted more than anything. Her reliance. Her trust. Things he never thought he would have again.

  He didn’t say a word. He merely caught her up in his arms, got to his feet and carried her to his bed. Setting her feet down on the floor beside the bed, he kissed her. With that kiss, he offered her everything he had feared to give her. His body. His soul.

  And his heart.

  She clutched his jacket and her cry of relief was muffled in his mouth. Landon pulled her flush against him, but he didn’t rush to take her as he had before. Tonight would be slow. Tonight would be gentle. He intended to take his time and make love to her with the same consideration as he had when they were first married. And he intended to drink in every moment, burn it to memory so that when her need for comfort was over and their bargain had ended, he could look back on this night and let every feeling wash over him.

  Without drawing away from her hungry lips, Landon found the buttons at the back of her scandalous gown. One by one, he freed them and pulled the bodice of her dress down to her waist and then further. It was the first time since the first night they were together, when Juliana had pleasured herself for him, that he’d seen her naked. Each time he made love to her subsequently, it had been with her gowns hanging at her waist, pushed up around her rear end. He realized now that he’d tried to use her clothing as a shield.

  But he didn’t want anything between them tonight. Certainly not a scrap of silk.

  She shivered and Landon pulled away from her lips to look down at her. “Cold?”

  A sly smile turned at her lips. “No. I’m on fire, actually.”

  He returned her smile and it felt so good. How long had it been since he really smiled? He certainly did do so while he led the shell of existence he called his life. And even when he took the occasional woman to his bed, he found no joy and little relief in a stranger’s touch. He never let his guard down enough to share such intimacy.

  And even though he knew it was folly, he didn’t want the woman he allowed so close to be anyone but Juliana. Tomorrow he could regret that choice. Tonight he reveled in it.

  “On fire?” he murmured as he bent to touch his lips to the throbbing pulse at the base of her throat. “We shall see about that.”

  She laughed quietly, and his heart soared. It was as if no time had passed. They could still tease as they made love. He almost felt as if no time had separated them.

  Juliana shivered as Landon pressed one hot kiss against her lips. Then drew away and surprised her by dropping to his knees before her. His hot breath feathered the dusting of hair between her thighs and she let out a little moan of pleasure. But he didn’t do as she expected and press his tongue against her. Instead he gently lifted one of her feet, and glided her slipper off.

  His fingers caught the edge of her stocking and he began to work the sheer silk down her thigh. She gasped as he pressed his lips against the skin he exposed. Inching the stocking down, he followed the path with his tongue, lapping at her inner thigh, suckling the back of her knee.

  Her legs started to wobble and she clutched at his shoulders, still fully clothed in his evening jacket. He smiled against her calf as he slid her stocking away and tossed it on the growing pile of discarded clothing to the side.

  “Landon,” she breathed as he moved to the opposite leg and repeated the treatment there.

  His mouth was hot on her delicate skin as he inched her slipper and stocking away. She was completely naked. Completely at his whim, but unlike the other times they made love, she didn’t feel like he was holding her hostage to his desires. Tonight there would be no demands. Somehow they had found a common ground.

  He straightened up on his knees and rested his cheek against her bare belly. She threaded her fingers through his thick hair as she looked down at him. Seeing him like this, so totally vulnerable, made her remember in a rush every moment they had spent together. Tears reformed in her eyes and she blinked them away.

  God, it hurt so much to realize what she’d given up. And all for nothing. Evelyn was with Sin. She would not return from her time with him unchanged, even if she and Landon found her this very evening. Everythi
ng Juliana had done… giving up Landon, allowing her marriage to be annulled, marrying Breckinhill, had been done on the strength of her father’s promise that Evelyn would never be given in trade as she had been.

  She looked down to find Landon staring up at her, gray eyes intent, filled with emotion and desire. This is what she had lost. This man’s love.

  A tear made its way down her face.

  Landon got to his feet and brought her close. “No tears tonight, Juliana,” he whispered as he kissed the droplet of moisture away.

  She looked up with a nod. “No more tears.”

  He smiled as he started to draw away, lifting his hands to the buttons on his jacket. She reached out to cover his hands with a shake of her head. “Let me.”

  His eyes went wide, but he didn’t argue or resist. “Of course.”

  She let her eyes rove over him from head to toe, drinking in the sight of him. In her heart, she knew this might be one of the last times she had the pleasure. Despite how kind and comforting he was behaving toward her tonight, her current pain didn’t wash away the deep and abiding hurt she had caused him. The lies he believed to be true. And once Evelyn was recovered, it was doubtful Landon would wish to continue their affair.

  Even if he did, she was coming to realize she didn’t want to be Landon’s mistress. She wanted to be his wife.

  Tonight, though, she pushed all that away and just enjoyed the sight of him standing before her, awaiting her next move. He was the picture of a dashing rogue in his stylish dress clothing for the ball. Even better was that he was a little bit wrinkled, a little less than perfectly groomed because of their powerful encounter at the ball. She liked that she was the only one who knew why his jacket had a crease across the back. Why his cravat was a little crooked.

  One by one, she loosened the buttons on his jacket, then slipped the heavy fabric from his shoulders to fall in a heap behind him. She stepped closer to loosen his cravat and his body heat, which had been trapped by the coat, swirled around her in a caress. Holding back a groan, she unbuttoned his waistcoat and tossed it alongside the jacket. It made a loud thud as his pocket watch hit the floor.

  She shrugged one shoulder. “I’m sorry.”

  He smiled, a little wolfish, but did not reach for her as she continued in her work. “I’ll buy a new one.”

  She couldn’t help the laugh that bubbled from her lips. God, it felt good to laugh with Landon after all this time. To feel the warmth of his smile as he edged closer. Her smile fell as he leaned forward and touched her lips with his. They were hot against hers, but gentle. Feeling, exploring as he gently brushed them back and forth. She placed her palms flat against his linen shirt and tilted her face for better access. He took her offering with restrained hunger, probing her mouth with the tip of his tongue, urging her to open herself to him.

  She sighed as he swirled his tongue around hers, tasted her as his hands finally lifted to rest on her bare hips.

  And then he drew back, a smile of satisfaction on his dark face.

  “Is that all?” she whispered, her eyes fluttering open.

  His smile grew wider. “I interrupted you in your work,” he explained, slipping his hands down her hips until they fell away from her body. She still felt the tingling of pleasure where they had rested. “And I was raised too much a gentleman to deny a lady her amusement.”

  She slid her hands across his chest, feeling the muscles ripple below the fabric, until she reached the top button. “It is more than a mere amusement to undress you, my lord,” she admitted as she pulled the shirt open bit by tantalizing bit.

  “Oh?” He quirked an eyebrow, though she could see below the nonchalant teasing that her touch was affecting him. And if the focused intent of his gray eyes hadn’t told her, the insistent nudge of his hard cock against her stomach would have. Her body clenched with anticipation, readying her for the joining of their bodies.

  Though, in truth, tonight it felt like it was more than flesh to be joined. Her heart was involved. And though he might never give her his love again, his emotions were clearly as tangled as her own.

  She smiled. There would be time to consider the ramifications later.

  “Yes. Undressing you is my greatest desire.” Her voice dropped a level and she fought to keep her stare even with his as she made her next confession. “Sometimes it was the only pleasant dream I had while we were apart.”

  As she said the last words, she peeled his shirt away from his shoulders and bared his broad upper body. Tossing the shirt aside, she stared at him in wonder. He was truly beautiful and she wanted to touch him everywhere. To make him hers again, even if that was only a fantasy… or only lasted the night.

  “Seeing you like this-” She caught her breath as she placed her palms back against his now-bare chest. His skin was warm beneath her hands, the light dusting of chest hair tickling her as she smoothed her fingers over his nipples, let them dip lower to brush his taut stomach muscles. He sucked in a breath as she let her fingernails lightly drag across his skin above the waist of his trousers. “Seeing you like this is almost my greatest fantasy.”

  He blinked and she saw him fighting his arousal, fighting his inclination to put her on her back right then and there and simply have her. “Almost?” he repeated as he let his hands cup her elbows, drew her nearer until her full breasts brushed his bare chest.

  They both let out a sigh of pleasure at the same moment.

  “My greatest fantasy,” she said with difficulty. “Is to see you like this.”

  With that, she loosened the buttons of his trousers and let them fall to his ankles. Without breaking eye contract, Landon toed off his boots and shoved the remainder of his clothing aside, leaving him as naked as she was.

  She looked. She’d seen his cock…touched him through his clothing as they made love with the frantic need they had been experiencing in the past few days. But this was the first time she really saw Landon in his full glory for a very long time, indeed.

  He was beautiful. The firelight flickered off his bare skin, accentuated every muscle from his broad shoulders to his tight chest to the coils of his thighs… and to the hard, heated cock that curled upward in a carnal display of his need for her body.

  Fresh tears filled her eyes, but this time they weren’t from fear for Evelyn, from a realization of what she had sacrificed. They weren’t from sadness or regret at all. They were tears of awe. Of anticipation. Of knowing that tonight she would be his completely. That she could be his, even if belonging to him only lasted a few hours.

  She stepped forward, wrapping her arms around his neck as she let her body curve flush with his.

  “Love me, Landon,” she whispered. “Love me.”

  Landon blinked down at her as he realized how much he did. He loved her. He still did. He always had. He opened his mouth… he would have made that dangerous confession, except that her lips tilted and she brought her mouth to his and silenced his words.

  Landon lifted her on to the high bed, brought himself up to lay between her legs and stopped. He looked at her. Her hair was spread across the pillows, her body arching toward his with need, and he loved her more than he had ever loved her before.

  Bringing his mouth down, he tasted her skin, suckling her throat, gliding along the ridge of her collarbone, taking one nipple between his lips as she writhed.

  This love… it couldn’t survive. That had been proven. Juliana had already made her choices and he could never have faith that she wouldn’t repeat that in the future. But that couldn’t change the fact that his heart swelled with feeling for her. All the anger he’d let fester inside of him hadn’t rotted away the love that was so much stronger.

  And by God, tonight he would feel it. Surrender to it.

  Landon placed a hand on each of her inner thighs. Her legs fell open without any encouragement from him and her sex glistened in the dying firelight. He met her eyes, felt her stare burn into his as he positioned himself at her entrance, readying himself to be
welcomed into her heat.

  Welcomed home.

  And then he thrust. Her body stretched to accommodate him, massaged him as he filled her until he was fully seated. He leaned over her and took her mouth as he began to move within her. She lifted to meet him, rolling her hips in a circle that drove him absolutely wild. Each time he moved, it brought him that much closer to release, but he fought to remain in control. He wanted her to have her pleasure. He wanted to give it to her again and again and again. Until she would remember no man but him. Until he could erase the time that had passed.

  He caught her hand in his and eased it down their bodies to place it between them where they were joined. Drawing back from her mouth, he whispered, “Touch yourself.”

  Her blue eyes darkened to a magnificent midnight before she cupped the back of his head with her unoccupied hand and drew him down for another kiss.

  While he thrust, her fingers worked, brushing the base of his cock as she played with her clit. He felt her approach the brink when the smooth rhythm of her hips became more erratic. They jolted up, her body colliding with his as she careened out of control.

  And then she was coming. He felt it in the way her body quivered, milking him. In the way her hand jerked between them. And he heard it in the way she let out a low, wailing cry of release that he caught with his lips. He never let up, keeping his cock moving within her until she panted, collapsing back onto the pillows as a deep flush colored her delicate skin.

  It wasn’t enough. He wanted more. He never wanted this night to end. Catching her hips, he rolled onto his back, dragging her with him but never breaking the connection of their bodies.

  Juliana didn’t even hesitate. She met Landon’s eyes evenly as she planted one hand on each side of his head and began to stroke. She arched her hips until his cock nearly withdrew entirely, then slipped forward to fill herself again. Over and over, she repeated the movement, keeping her hips moving at a steady, maddeningly slow pace. God, he could feel her pussy clench with every moment, massaging and releasing his cock with the perfect pressure, the ideal wet heat.