The truth is, I’m missing him.
It’s not just the sex either. It’s the way I laughed with him. The way I felt around him. The way he surprised me by doing super sweet or thrilling things. I miss that guy.
But was that guy real?
That’s what I keep asking myself, over and over again. Because the second I saw that email, I knew that while Jackson does have a sweet side, he also has a side that can hurt me. Sadly, I learned a long time ago from a shitty ex-boyfriend not to get involved with men like Jackson.
I like my heart unbroken.
Still, a part of me feels like it stayed back in Canada.
I keep behind Aria as we approach the dark gray stucco beach house right on the shores of the Santa Monica Bay. The house is modern and stunning, and everything that I’d never own in my life. Not only for the high price tag, but I’ve always been a lake lover at heart.
When we near the corner of the house, moving toward the front porch, Aria reaches back and grabs my arm, her eyes huge. She raises a finger to her mouth and then taps her ear.
Not a second later, my heart sinks into my stomach as Jackson’s low voice spreads over me, raising goosebumps on my arms. “My father broke my mother,” he says, emotion thick in his voice. “He left her. Ruined her. She was the saddest woman I’d ever seen. Sophia would have done that to you, Liam. Maybe not right away but she would have eventually, because that is what people like her do. They only destroy what is in their path.”
There’s a pause, then Liam asks with a hard voice, “You’re telling me that you want me to believe that you fucked Sophia because I was blind to the type of woman she was, and that you did this to protect me?”
I place my hand on my chest, hoping my heart doesn’t fly out of it. Jackson told Liam? Why? I’m trying to understand what would have changed between when he wouldn’t speak up at the condo and now.
“You can believe whatever you want to believe,” Jackson replies. “But that’s the truth. I saw her for what she was, a money-hungry bitch. You saw the good in her that perhaps was there, but I imagine now isn’t.”
Aria’s eyes are wide, and she mouths, “Did you know about this?”
I nod.
“What would make you so observant of this and me so blind to it?” Liam asks, and I can almost see his incredulous expression.
“First, because you loved her,” Jackson explains, cool and collected. “Second, because I know someone like her.”
“Your father,” Liam states.
“Once you see that greed in someone, you recognize it anywhere.”
There’s a long pause. My heartbeat is hammering under my palm. Aria’s staring at me, eyes so huge, mouth dropped open. I can only guess she’s trying to make sense out of everything now that she knows Jackson’s side of things.
Liam finally breaks the silence. “If what you are telling me is true, why did you not explain all this to me after it happened?”
“Would you have listened?”
Another pause. “No, I suppose I wouldn’t have.”
There’s more heavy silence between them. I’m dying to know if they are looking at the floor or at each other. In my heart, I’m guessing they are looking at each other, trying to find some way back from what happened between them. From the emotion in both their voices throughout this conversation, it’s clear they were close and—even if they don’t want to admit it—they hurt each other deeply. Because now I realize that Jackson had given up his friendship with Liam to protect him. He knew what sleeping with Sophia would cost him but he did it anyway. And that’s the Jackson I met in Muskoka. Not the cold man out for vengeance.
It’s obvious Liam realizes this, too, because his voice is soft when he asks, “Why have you come here, Jackson?”
“To make peace.”
“Why?”
“Because I want Aria not to feel torn between us anymore. And I want Mallory to stop hating me. So here I am, being the first one to say it’s time to put this behind us. Not for us. But for them.”
I mouth to Aria, “Oh, my God.”
She nods slowly in agreement.
Another pause. Then Liam says, “Aria and Mallory, we know you’re there. We can see your shadows.”
I glance down at the cement next to the house, and see that yes, we are terrible spies. Aria gives me a quick smile before striding forward, and I follow behind. She blocks my way, moving toward Liam, who’s sitting on the chair on the porch, so I hang back. When she leans in to kiss Liam that’s when everything stops for me.
Jackson is standing on the far side of the porch, leaning against the railing, arms folded. He doesn’t move when our gazes meet. I’m lost in the way he’s looking at me. The intensity in his eyes. The warmth there, too.
When Aria drops down onto the armrest, Liam says to me, “Did he tell you his side of things?”
“Yes,” I reply.
Liam cocks his head. “Did you believe him?”
I’m not really sure of Liam’s intentions in asking for my input. I think it’s his way of letting me put a stop to this. If I want Jackson to go, he’ll send him on his way. My heartbeat hasn’t slowed, if anything it’s only sped up now that Jackson is in my sights. “I did believe him.” I slide my gaze to Jackson. “I still do.”
He hasn’t moved, not saying a word. He’s just standing there, strong in the choices he made, unregretful of the path he’s taken, but honest. And if I’m being honest with myself that’s exactly what I want him to be.
Liam’s thick voice breaks me away from the trance Jackson has me under. “This has been going on for so long,” he mutters, shaking his head in clear frustration. “You kept me away from Aria.”
“Now wait just a second,” Aria pipes up, giving him a hard look. “That choice rested with me, not Jackson.”
Liam frowns at her. To Jackson, he adds, “Regardless, just because you think you perceived Sophia as one kind of person how could you truly predict her future behavior?”
“Actually, he had her pegged right,” I gently interject, reaching for my phone in my pocket. Liam is a lawyer. He’ll appreciate facts. Which is probably why I wanted facts, too.
I open my email finding the message from a friend who works in a New York courthouse. She sent me the marriage licenses and divorce decrees all belonging to Sophia Flynn.
After I hand my phone to Liam, I add, using the exact words that Jackson had told me, “She’s gone through two multi-millionaires and a billionaire, working on her fourth marriage now.”
Aria gives me a quick wink before glancing seriously back at Liam, who’s frowning at her. “What a gold digger,” she says to him. “Thank God you didn’t end up with her. If you ask me, I think you owe Jackson a big thank-you for making sure she didn’t take you for all that you had.”
Liam rolls his eyes at both of us before handing me back my phone. He finally turns to Jackson. “She didn’t seem that type.”
“To a man who was in love with her, no, she didn’t,” Jackson counters.
“To you?”
“She was a leech.”
Liam rests a possessive hand on Aria’s thigh, his gaze turns curious. “Let me get this straight: you slept with Sophia to get her out of my life, even though you knew that I’d hate you for it?”
Jackson nods.
Something passes between them then. It’s like watching years’ worth of anger suddenly dissipate into the air. Both men appear visibly lighter, and for one second, it’s like I can see what they used to look like as roommates. There is a level of comfort between them. History, for sure.
“Well, then…” Liam pats Aria’s thigh and slowly rises, moving in front of statue-still Jackson. “I suppose it’s time to thank you for having my back when I couldn’t see what clearly—as the evidence proves—you could.” He offers his hand.
Jackson’s jaw clenches twice but then there’s obvious relief on his face, like he’s waited years for this to be done between them.
I hold my b
reath, glancing at Aria, who’s still sitting on the armrest, eyes glued on them. My breath whooshes out loudly when Jackson returns the handshake. It’s like a cord of tension finally snaps free. The look Jackson gives Liam holds meaning that I do understand because I have that same kind of affection with Aria. It’s friendship. It’s love. It’s respect. But as quick as I saw that emotion, it’s gone, replaced by the usual hardness of Jackson’s expression.
And just like that, it’s done.
Jackson steps back, and Liam returns to his seat.
While this is a good step forward, it’s also clear this isn’t a quick-fix type of thing. Years of anger and betrayal burn between them. That doesn’t go away with a single handshake.
I smile at Aria, who has tears in her eyes. For that alone, I’m happy. She was the one who was paying the price for their feud the most. Hell, at least when Liam and Aria get married—which, knowing Liam, I suspect will probably be soon—Jackson will attend the wedding. And I think for Aria that’s what she’s always wanted. Her two worlds blending, instead of being ripped apart by anger.
When I glance back at the men, both Jackson and Liam are looking at me. Suddenly, I feel like I’m sticking out with a spotlight directly on my head. The world begins to narrow on Jackson as he approaches. All of his intensity spills out over me, stealing my breath, creating butterflies in my belly.
He stops in front of me, and he asks in a much gentler voice than he used with Liam, “Will you come with me somewhere?”
“Why?” I manage through my tight throat.
He offers his hand. “I have something to show you.”
I’m sure there are things to say but I can’t seem to find a way to say them. All I’m able to do is put my hand in his. Because the Jackson I’m looking at right now isn’t the Jackson I’ve always known. Or the Jackson Liam told me about. This is the Jackson I met in Muskoka.
The Jackson I trust.
Chapter 9
Jackson
In the South Park commercial district, I pull my Lexus to a stop. The thirty-minute drive back to Los Angeles had been a quiet one. The windows were down, and I let Mallory control the conversation. Which ended up being no conversation at all. I guess she’s thinking, and that’s okay with me. I’ll get my chance to talk.
Once I turn off the ignition, I exit the car, jogging toward the passenger door. I’m there, opening wider the door that she’s already getting out of. When she exits the car fully, I shut the door behind her, then find her frowning at the storefront’s sign, BARKS-A-LOT DOGGY DAYCARE. “I’m not even going to try and pretend to understand what’s going on here,” she says, glancing at me.
I chuckle, ushering her forward toward the front door. “You’ll understand soon enough, promise.”
The exterior of the building could be any small business. The interior though, a person could almost believe we’d walked into a dog’s dream come true. Dog toys and treats line the walls, matched with signs, one of which reads: LOVE IS A FOUR-LEGGED WORD.
I approach Kylie, the owner of the doggy daycare, at the reception area. She smiles brightly from behind the counter when she sees me. “Hi, Jackson. Your boy had quite the fun day. He’s such a goofy guy.”
“I’m glad to hear you’re enjoying him.” I smile back. “Is it all right if we go see him?”
“Of course,” Kylie says, waving us on.
I take a quick look at Mallory, finding her expression more confused than before. Her brows are drawn, mouth in a slight pout. I restrain my chuckle and then lead the way into the back room.
When we move through the double doors that lead outside, I take in the space. From the wading pools to the shaded areas with dog beds for napping to the toys laid out everywhere, this place is equivalent to a dog’s heaven.
A couple of medium-size dogs are closer to us and Mallory pays them attention, not realizing who else has noticed she’s entered the play area. I watch the Alaskan shepherd’s ears perk, the hundred-and-twenty-pound dog looks part wolf surrounded by so many thinner dogs. While I’ve grown attached to the dog, I understand his interest in Mallory.
“Aren’t you the sweetest baby,” Mallory coos, rubbing a boxer behind the ears.
Obviously jealous now, the big dog comes charging toward us. I stay silent, watching them. Waiting. I’ve discovered that this big meatball of a dog isn’t really the gentle type. He totally proves me right when he suddenly plows into Mallory, nearly toppling her over if I hadn’t grabbed her arm.
“Huh? Wait…what?” She grabs the dog’s face; he keeps licking her nose. “Draco, is that you?”
“Muskoka,” I correct.
She jerks her gaze to me, blatant confusion in her eyes. “What?” She looks at the dog again then back at me. “Huh?”
God, I love surprising this woman. She’s cute in all the ways I didn’t know a woman could be cute. I give Muskoka a scratch on the ear when he comes to acknowledge me. “I actually liked the name you said before when we were at the cabin. Muskoka seems to suit him better than Draco, so when I adopted him, I had the shelter change it on the forms.”
Her eyes widen. “He. Is. Yours?”
I nod.
“Why?” She gasps, unblinking. “How?”
I smile. “You were undeniably right about him.”
She finally blinks then shakes her head, as if to clear the confusion from her mind. “Okay, I can’t even believe you were paying such close attention to what I was talking about to remember him.” Muskoka drops onto the ground, and she scratches his chest. “But what made you think to go and see him in the first place?”
I sigh. “I watched a damn commercial.”
“You watched a commercial?” she repeats with a frown.
“That’s right. This is all your doing,” I explain with a smile, remembering word for word what she said to me on that hike we took. “I went on YouTube and watched one of those shelter commercials that you were talking about. Call me curious or whatever, but you were right—I felt like I needed to go to the shelter to make a donation or something.”
The shock slowly dissipates from her expression, and she laughs softly. “Well, I can’t say that I’m not glad for that if this is what happened after.” She turns back to Muskoka, scratching his belly. “I went into the shelter on that Saturday after we got back, and they told me someone had adopted him on Friday. I was so happy he found a home but I hated not being able to say goodbye.”
“That was the day he came home with me.”
She cocks her head, curiosity filling her gaze. “That was only the day after we came home from Canada.”
“Yes, I know.”
I can’t tell what she’s thinking when she sits on the ground, crossing her legs. Muskoka puts his big head in her lap and she strokes him. It’s clear they’ve done this many times before. She finally looks up at me. “Do you bring him here a lot?”
I shove my hands into the pockets of my shorts. “The shelter explained that the reason he was surrendered was a dog like him needs a lot of exercise and somewhere to play outdoors or he’ll get into trouble again.” I shrug. “Since I can only give him a walk in the park in the morning and a run at night, because I live in a condo, he gets this instead.”
Her eyes widen. “He comes here every day?”
I nod. “He seems to like it.”
“From a shelter to this.” Her eyes get teary, and she grabs Muskoka by his face, kissing the top of his head. “You must be so happy.”
Muskoka licks her nose then he’s on his feet running toward the pack of dogs playing with the balls.
Mallory rises, a sweet smile on her face, and she wipes her hands on her jean shorts. Her smile slowly begins to fade, her head cocks when she examines me. “Did you do this for me?”
“Adopt him?” I clarify.
She nods.
I shake my head. “I adopted him for him. When I went to the shelter, I saw him playing outside and remembered you’d talked about him. Somehow the second I met him, I
knew I wouldn’t be leaving without him. So, no, I didn’t adopt him for you, but you made me want to go see him.”
“Why?” she asks with genuine curiosity.
I’m more honest than I’ve ever been with anyone. “Because I wanted to know what kind of guy could steal your heart.”
She takes a step closer. “Why did you want to know that?”
I get exactly what she’s looking for. And I’ll damn well give her the answers she deserves. Now it’s my time to talk. “Because I wanted to understand the way you think.”
Another step. “Why?”
The air is thickening between us. My cock swelling, reacting to nearness. “I wanted you to see that I am that guy you met in Muskoka. That I don’t want to be the guy you’d always known in L.A. I wanted you to see that I’m not just a selfish prick.”
One more step. “Why do you care how I perceive you?”
I’m lost in her pretty eyes. “Because I miss you.”
“You miss me?” she whispers, angling her chin up.
I remove my hands from my pockets and drag my knuckles across her cheeks. “I miss being around you. I miss the fun we had.” I stare into her eyes, loving how they heat under my touch. “Your body, your mind, your heart, your cute rambling—I miss all of it.” I reach for her chin, capturing her gaze. “I know that it doesn’t make sense. We had only a few days together. But, there it is. I want to explore this between us, and see where we end up, if you’ll have me.”
She blinks, her chest rising and falling against mine. “Actually, it does make sense.”
“How so?”
“Because I miss you, too.” She smiles.
Emotion tightens my chest as I cup her face. “I’m sorry, Mallory. For the email. For the auction. For all of it. I will never hurt you like that again. Ever. That is my absolute promise to you.” I step back and whistle, and Muskoka comes barreling toward us.
When he sits next to me, I lower to one knee and place his furry face next to mine. “So, what do you say, Mallory, will you give us another chance?”
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