Count Bunker

by J. Storer Clouston

  CHAPTER XVII

  Raising his eyes after the profound bow which the Count consideredappropriate to his character of plenipotentiary, he beheld at lastthe object of his mission; and whether or not she was the absolutelypeerless beauty her father had vaunted, he at once decided that she waslovely enough to grace Hechnahoul, or any other, Castle. Black eyesand a mass of coal-black hair, an ivory pale skin, small well-chiselledfeatures, and that distinctively American plumpness of contour--thesemarked her face; while as for her figure, it was the envy of her womenfriends and the distraction of all mankind who saw her.

  "Fortunate Baron!" thought Bunker.

  Beside her, though sufficiently in the rear to mark the relativeposition of the sexes in the society they adorned, stood Darius P.Maddison, junior--or "Ri," in the phrase of his relatives and friends--abroad-shouldered, well-featured young man, with keen eyes, a mouthcompressed with the stern resolve to die richer than Mr. Rockefeller,and a pair of perfectly ironed trousers.

  "I am very delighted to meet you," declared the heiress.

  "Very honored to have this pleasure," said the brother.

  "While I enjoy both sensations," replied the Count, with his mostagreeable smile.

  A little preliminary conversation ensued, in the course of which the twoparties felt an increasing satisfaction in one another's society; whileBunker had the further pleasure of enjoying a survey of the room inwhich they sat. Evidently it was Miss Maddison's peculiar sanctum,and it revealed at once her taste and her power of gratifying it. Thetapestry that covered two sides of the room could be seen at a glance tobe no mere modern imitation, but a priceless relic of the earlier middleages. The other walls were so thickly hung with pictures that one couldscarcely see the pale-green satin beneath; and among these paintings theCount's educated eye recognized the work of Raphael, Botticelli, Turner,and Gainsborough among other masters; while beneath the cornice hung awell-chosen selection from the gems of the modern Anglo-American school.The chairs and sofa were upholstered in a figured satin of a slightlyricher hue of green, and on several priceless oriental tables laydisplayed in ivory, silver, crystal, and alabaster more articles ofvertu than were to be found in the entire house of an average collector.

  "Fortunate Tulliwuddle!" thought Bunker.

  They had been conversing on general topics for a few minutes, when MissMaddison turned to her brother and said, with a frankness that bothpleased and entertained the Count--

  "Ri, dear, don't you think we had better come right straight to thepoint? I feel sure Count Bunker is only waiting till he knows us alittle better, and I guess it will save him considerable embarrassmentif we begin."

  "You are the best judge, Eleanor. I guess your notions are never far ofbeing all right."

  With a gratified smile Eleanor addressed the Count.

  "My brother and I are affinities," she said. "You can speak to him justas openly as you can to me. What is fit for me to hear is fit for him."

  Assuring her that he would not hesitate to act upon this guarantee ifnecessary, the Count nevertheless diplomatically suggested that he wouldsooner leave it to the lady to open the discussion.

  "Well," she said, "I suppose we may presume you have called here as LordTulliwuddle's friend?"

  "You may, Miss Maddison."

  "And no doubt he has something pretty definite to suggest?"

  "Matrimony," smiled the Count.

  Her brother threw him a stern smile of approval.

  "That's right slick THERE!" he exclaimed.

  "Lord Tulliwuddle has made a very happy selection in his ambassador,"said Eleanor, with equal cordiality. "People who are afraid to come tofacts tire me. No doubt you will think it strange and forward of me totalk in this spirit, Count, but if you'd had to go through the worry ofbeing an American heiress in a European state you would sympathize. Why,I'm hardly ever left in peace for twenty-four hours--am I, Ri?"

  "That is so," quoth Ri.

  "What would you guess my age to be, Count Bunker?"

  "Twenty-one," suggested Bunker, subtracting two or three years ongeneral principles.

  "Well, you're nearer it than most people. Nineteen on my last birthday,Count!"

  The Count murmured his surprise and pleasure, and Ri again declared,"That is so."

  "And it isn't the American climate that ages one, but the terriblepersecutions of the British aristocracy! I can be as romantic as anygirl, Count Bunker; why, Ri, you remember poor Abe Sellar and the stolenshoe-lace?"

  "Guess I do!" said Ri.

  "That was a romance if ever there was one! But I tell you, Count,sentiment gets rubbed off pretty quick when you come to a bankruptMarquis writing three ill-spelled sheets to assure me of thedisinterested affection inspired by my photograph, or a divorced Dukeoffering to read Tennyson to me if I'll hire a punt!"

  "I can well believe it," said the Count sympathetically.

  "Well, now," the heiress resumed, with a candid smile that made hercynicism become her charmingly, "you see how it is. I want a man onecan RESPECT, even if he is a peer. He may have as many titles as dad hasdollars, but he must be a MAN!"

  "That is so," said Ri, with additional emphasis.

  "I can guarantee Lord Tulliwuddle as a model for a sculptor and aneligible candidate for canonization," declared the Count.

  "I guess we want something grittier than that," said Ri.

  "And what there is of it sounds almost too good news to be true," addedhis sister. "I don't want a man like a stained-glass window, Count;because for one thing I couldn't get him."

  "If you specify your requirements we shall do our best to satisfy you,"replied the Count imperturbably.

  "Well, now," said Eleanor thoughtfully, "I may just as well tell youthat if I'm going to take a peer--and I must own peers are rather myfancy at present--it was Mohammedan pashas last year, wasn't it, Ri?"("That is so," from Ri.)--"If I AM going to take a peer, I must havea man that LOOKS a peer. I've been plagued with so many undersizedand round-shouldered noblemen that I'm beginning to wonder whether thearistocracy gets proper nourishment. How tall is Lord Tulliwuddle?"

  "Six feet and half an inch."

  "That's something more like!" said Ri; and his sister smiled heracquiescence.

  "And does he weigh up to it?" she inquired.

  "Fourteen, twelve, and three-quarters."

  "What's that in pounds, Ri? We don't count people in stones in America."

  A tense frown, a nervous twitching of the lip, and in an instant theyoung financier produced the answer:

  "Two hundred and nine pounds all but four ounces."

  "Well," said Eleanor, "it all depends on how he holds himself. That's alot to carry for a young man."

  "He holds himself like one of his native pine-trees, Miss Maddison!"

  She clapped her hands.

  "Now I call that just a lovely metaphor, Count Bunker!" she cried."Oh, if he's going to look like a pine, and walk like the pipers at theTorrydhulish gathering, and really be a chief like Fergus MacIvor orRoderick Dhu, I do believe I'll actually fall in love with him!"

  "Say, Count," interposed Ri, "I guess we've heard he's half German."

  "It was indeed in Germany that he learned his thorough grasp ofpolitics, statesmanship, business, and finance, and acquired his loftyambitions and indomitable perseverance."

  "He'll do, Eleanor," said the young man. "That's to say, if he isanything like the prospectus."

  His sister made no immediate reply. She seemed to be musing--and notunpleasantly.

  At that moment a motor car passed the window.

  "My!" exclaimed Eleanor, "I'd quite forgot! That will be to take theHonorable Stanley to the station. We must say good-by to him, I suppose."

  She turned to the Count and added in explanation--

  "The last to apply was the Honorable Stanley Pilkington--Lord Didcott'sheir, you know. Oh, if you could see him, you'd realize what I've had togo through!"

  Even as she spoke he was given the opportunity, for the door
somewhatdiffidently opened and an unhappy-looking young man came slowly intothe room. He was clearly to be classified among the round-shoulderedineligibles; being otherwise a tall and slender youth, with an amiableexpression and a smoothly well-bred voice.

  "I've come to say good-by, Miss Maddison," he said, with a mournful air."I--I've enjoyed my visit very much," he added, as he timidly shook herhand.

  "So glad you have, Mr. Pilkington," she replied cordially. "It has beena very great pleasure to entertain you. Our friend Count Bunker--Mr.Pilkington."

  The young man bowed with a look in his eye that clearly said--

  "The next candidate, I perceive."

  Then having said good-by to Ri, the Count heard him murmur to Eleanor--

  "Couldn't you--er--couldn't you just manage to see me off?"

  "With very great pleasure!" she replied in a hearty voice that seemedcuriously enough rather to damp than cheer his drooping spirits.

  No sooner had they left the room together than Darius, junior, turnedenergetically to his guest, and said in a voice ringing with pride--

  "You may not believe me, Count, but I assure you that is the thirdfellow she has seen to the door inside a fortnight! One Duke, oneViscount--who will expand into something more considerable some day--andthis Honorable Pilkington! Your friend, sir, will be a fortunate man ifhe is able to please my sister."

  "She seems, indeed, a charming girl."

  "Charming! She is an angel in human form! And I, sir, her brother, willsee to it that she is not deceived in the man she chooses--not if I canhelp it!"

  The young man said this with such an air as Bunker supposed hisforefathers to have worn when they hurled the tea into Boston harbor.

  "I trust that Lord Tulliwuddle, at least, will not fall under yourdispleasure, sir," he replied with an air of sincere conviction thatexactly echoed his thoughts.

  "Oh, Ri!" cried Eleanor, running back into the room, "he was so sweet ashe said good-by in the hall that I nearly kissed him! I would have, onlyit might have made him foolish again. But did you see his shoulders,Count! And oh, to think of marrying a gentle thing like that! Is LordTulliwuddle a firm man, Count Bunker?"

  "Adamant--when in the right," the Count assured her.

  A renewed air of happy musing in her eyes warned him that he hadprobably said exactly enough, and with the happiest mean betwixtdeference and dignity he bade them farewell.

  "Then, Count, we shall see you all to-morrow," said Eleanor as theyparted. "Please tell your hosts that I am very greatly looking forwardto the pleasure of knowing them. There is a Miss Gallosh, isn't there?"

  The Count informed her that there was in fact such a lady.

  "That is very good news for me! I need a girl friend very badly, Count;these proposals lose half their fun with only Ri to tell them to. Iintend to make a confidante of Miss Gallosh on the spot!"

  "H'm," thought the Count, as he drove away, "I wonder whether she will."