Sparks in Spearfish

by Kari Trumbo

  A knock at the door, and Izzy turned to answer. A small girl stood in the doorway with a sweet smile and a peppermint stick. She handed a slip of paper to Izzy, curtsied and ran off.

  Izzy looked at the folded paper and frowned. “Looks like he’s not quite as determined to keep quiet as he said.” She handed it to Lula.

  Lula glanced at the note with her name on it. After he’d graded so much of her homework, his handwriting was familiar to her. Reading it in front of Izzy might give away too much. Asking her to leave definitely would. She opened it:

  It was possible they had been seen in the room after class had dismissed. She’d been distracted when he’d been chasing her around the desk. Her mischievous display at the start of class was right in front of everyone. She flipped open the note. The message was brief.

  Bush. 9PM. B

  If anyone else had gotten their hands on that note, it would’ve meant nothing. There were bushes all over campus and many people whose name started with B. But between her and Barton, she knew it meant the one on the edge of the Administration building where they’d discussed going riding. So much for wanting to stay apart. Was he having as much trouble controlling his heart as she did?

  “It’s nothing. Not urgent. Don’t concern yourself.”

  Izzy looked over her shoulder at the note. “You aren’t going to meet him, are you? Please, Lula, consider your future…”

  “I’m sure it’s nothing, Izzy. You don’t need to worry about it.”

  “I do worry! You’re my closest, dearest friend, and I see you throwing away what you’ve dreamed of for years because of a man who could once again leave you to take the blame. That’s all this infatuation is. You think that now that he’s nice to you, you can reform him. Sometimes we women can’t help but search for a problem we can correct, and Barton Oleson has been your biggest problem for years. He’ll never really love you, Lula. He can’t change that much, that fast. Now that he has your attention, he’ll take it as far as he can go. Then you’ll drown in your sorrow when you find out he’s the same as he always was.”

  “I don’t think he is, Izzy. He really has changed. He claims…” No, she couldn’t tell Izzy that he’d wanted her from the moment he’d first seen her. She’d never believe it even though Lula knew it was so. “If you don’t approve, I understand – you have reason to doubt. And I won’t give you advice about Harland, just to be fair.” She raised her chin in defiance, like she’d seen her sister Hattie do when she was younger.

  Izzy shook her head. “I won’t give you any such bargain. I will not watch you throw your life away. You mean too much to me, Lula.”

  “Thank you, Izzy.” Lula smiled. “But I’m still going.”

  Chapter 15

  The bush, big as it was, didn’t provide quite enough cover for Barton to pace as he wanted to. It was too dark to see his watch, but it felt as if he’d been there for hours. Would she show up?

  At supper, he’d sat across the room from Lula but couldn’t keep his eyes off her. She’d sat with Izzy and another woman, and though she’d done her best to avoid looking at him, their gazes had caught often

  If only they didn’t have to be so secretive. What he felt for Lula wasn’t dirty or wrong. Hiding it just made it feel that way. It was as if, by holding back, when he did see her he had to release all he felt and it overwhelmed them both.

  A soft rustle of skirts and click of heels drew him out of his musings. There she was under the lamplight, just yards away. His Lula – he could think of her no other way. She glanced around, then rushed behind the bush and – much to his pleasant surprise – right into his arms. She fit perfectly to his chest, clinging to him as he’d prayed she would for years. This woman, this moment, was an answer to all the mumbled supplications of a boy lost in his affection for a girl whom he thought would never see him as more than a nuisance.

  He stood, waiting for her to break the hold because he didn’t want to. He’d hold her until eternity came, if she’d let him. When she did pull away, he cupped her face in his hands, the softness of her cheeks warming him to his toes. He took in every inch of her in the dark. Her golden hair caught bits of moonlight, and her pearly white skin glowed.

  The temptation was too much. He bent, pressing his lips to hers, and she responded in kind. He had to be closer to her, to feel her. His hands delved into her soft hair and he couldn’t keep in a moan. How he loved her hair. The curling silky softness beneath his work-roughed hands excited every part of him.

  Lula clutched at the back of his vest and arched her back. He let his lips roam down to her jaw, where the fashionable high collar of her blouse blocked him. He tugged it loose, to get at the tender sweetness of her neck. Lula trailed kisses down his cheek. What were they doing? They were in the middle of the school and could both be seen any moment. But sweet mercy, he couldn’t fathom letting go.

  He drew away and held her shoulders to steady himself and his resolve. “Lula, we can’t do this. It isn’t wrong, please don’t think it is, but the school will say it is. I want this, more than you know, but I can’t ruin you or your career.”

  She reached for him and held tight, her hands bunched his shirt and her chest still heaving, breathless from his kiss. Even in the night, her lips were dark with his ministrations, and he wanted to taste them again.

  “I don’t know what to do. I can’t stand to be away from you, but when I’m near you I can’t control who I am. All my thoughts rush to you and I can’t do simple things. Izzy is worried, Harland too – he’s already told her he would be watching us closely. I don’t want to lose who I am, but I fear I already have…” She trailed off, breathless.

  Her words split his heart in two. “I’m so sorry, Lula. I never meant to do this to you. Why am I always hurting you? No matter what I do, it still hurts you. I can’t hurt you anymore.” He drew her into his chest, cradling her gently and holding her close.

  Her body quaked as she clung to him. “Don’t you dare. You can’t leave me. I can’t do this without you. I thought I could, but I can’t.”

  “You always have, Lula. You’re so strong, and beautiful and intelligent…of course you can do this. I can’t leave this position – I’ve promised them the remainder of this year – so for the remainder of this year, we can’t meet. No matter how much I want to, and I want to.”

  Lula shuddered against him and tipped her head back. “I can’t, Barton.” She brushed her lips against his, and the fire he’d tried to douse flamed anew. “You must.”

  He backed against the wall, tearing away from her. “I didn’t ask you out here to woo you. If we are to be together, I want you to be a pure bride for me. I know now what a mistake this was. I can’t be alone with you.”

  She took a step toward him, closing the gap.

  He held his breath. If he could keep from kissing her again, he would. Heaven help him.

  She stopped and bowed her head. “I’ll do my best, Barton. But I fear I’ll fail. You’ve started something in me I don’t know how to control or contain. How can I ever teach now? This temptation is a consuming fire. I can’t look at you without thinking of your lips on mine, your arms around me. I’m jealous of your every glance. How can I move on and be a teacher, alone, when my heart knows this is what I’m giving up?”

  “Lula, I’m so sorry. I never meant …” But that was a lie – he’d meant for this exact thing to happen. But now his conscience wouldn’t let him pursue it. “I’m sorry.” That was no good answer for her. But then, thanks to him, there was no good answer. They were too much of a temptation to each other.

  “I am too. But here we are…” Lula trailed off again, tears running down her cheeks. With a sob, she fled.

  Barton slid down the wall to sit, his arms wrapping around his knees. He wanted to cry too. He’d led a student astray – and not just any student, but the one he’d desired for so long. The one that he was truly learning to love.

  Lula ran back toward her room. Her fingers still felt the cr
ispness of his shirt, her lips still burned with the stubble of his jaw. She’d turned wanton. He’d met her with a kiss and she’d practically dragged him to the ground, until he finally had to pull away. He’d put a stop to it, not her. She’d wanted more.

  What must he think of her? She’d tried to confess her growing love for him, but it had come across as just needy passion. Not the kind of love he deserved. Barton had been a classmate for two years, but because he’d been such a bully, she didn’t know him well. And now she couldn’t – he was forbidden, just as she was to him. He’d as much as told her he couldn’t go near her outside of class. But now that she knew what his arms felt like, could she live without them?

  There was no doubt now – they had to stay away from each other. Even within class, they had to keep their distance, lest the embers flame again.

  Izzy would be happy – she’d get to keep Lula nearby and away from Barton. But what her friend had said couldn’t be true. Barton had shown his heart tonight. He was no longer that boy who’d coated her pencil with tobacco juice so it was sticky, leaving her hands a dark gold. He wasn’t the boy who’d tugged on the tie of her petticoat when it stuck above the waistline of her skirt to laugh when it fell off and tripped her. And she was beginning to see just who that boy was, because he hadn’t changed as Izzy said. He’d wanted her attention from the first day, and she’d given it to him in spades. If only he’d simply asked her back then – who knew where they’d be now?

  And where would she be now? Certainly not at a school for teachers. She’d be home alone, perhaps expecting a child, while he was away either at school or on his ranch. But she wondered now if she might be better off that way.

  As she opened the door to her room, Izzy bolted out of her chair with a gasp. “Lula, my word! What have you done?”

  What could possibly show on her face? Lula looked down at herself and, though she was a little rumpled, nothing looked out of place.

  Izzy stomped over and tugged on her now-loosened collar. “Or perhaps I should ask what someone else did?”

  When had that happened? Lula stepped back, closed the door and leaned against it. “Izzy, the rest of the year will be the hardest thing I’ve ever done. And I need your help to get through it. Please don’t hold what I’ve done against me. My old dreams are clashing with new ones, but I can’t act on those …”

  “New … oh, no! What if he leaves you? What if you give up your dream and lose him anyway? Then you have nothing! He’s given you no guarantees. He’s given you nothing … except for things that could get you in trouble. This isn’t good or right, Lula. Please don’t do this. I don’t want to see him hurt you again.”

  “I’m trying to keep everything under control. Don’t be angry with me. This isn’t what it seems. I’ve gained him and lost him, all in a few minutes. So please, just be understanding.” Lula fixed her collar.

  “It’s exactly what it seems. You’ll turn into your sister Hattie if you keep on this path. You were headed toward a quiet, sweet life as a teacher, but if you keep dallying with that … charlatan, you’ll end up a harlot because he will never settle down. He’s not quiet or resourceful. He doesn’t compliment you. He doesn’t want to know you. There’s a difference between a stolen kiss and letting a man get too far.”

  The words pierced her. “What a vile thing to say! You know nothing about what happened to Hattie!” Though Izzy had a point. While she loved Hattie, and her sister had worked hard to redeem herself, Lula still didn’t want to end up like her and she had acted just as Hattie had. Even now, Hattie had nothing left of herself beyond her husband. When Hugh entered a room, she had no attention left for anyone else.

  No, Lula couldn’t let that be her destiny. Her blood didn’t determine who she was, or who she could be. She’d thrown herself in Barton’s arms and hadn’t wanted to let go, but that wasn’t because of her sister. She’d wanted to, just as much as he did. And he’d pulled away. He was stronger than her…just like Hattie.

  “Vile or not, it needed to be said to put your head in order. Are you leaving? Maybe that would be safest. One slip and you could destroy both of you. Are you willing to do that?”

  The tears that had welled behind her eyes since she’d returned spilled over. Izzy had always been so understanding, but not now. And right now she needed a friend, not a mother. “I can’t do anything besides teach. And I can’t leave him. Quitting on either would tear my heart out.”

  Izzy backed away and crossed her arms. “Then do what I’m doing. Keep working. And stay away from him if this is what happens when you’re together. I told you at the beginning of the year he had plans for you. You have to decide what you want most – to teach or to be with him. Because you know as well as I do, you can’t have both.”

  Lula nodded sadly. Izzy was right. She’d have to choose.

  Chapter 16

  As Lula stepped into the classroom, Izzy grabbed her hand and yanked her into a seat in the back of the room, almost toppling the hard chair. “Don’t you dare go up there,” she hissed.

  “I wasn’t planning to,” Lula grumbled back. Was this how it would be – Izzy constantly controlling her every move? She arranged her books and papers, noting that Barton sat in his desk at the front, head down. But the tense set of his shoulders told her he knew she was there without looking up.

  The class began and his glance swept the room, carefully skipping over her. It hit her like a slap, but it was the right thing to do. She just hoped her behavior the night before behind the bush hadn’t tarnished his thoughts of her forever.

  He stood and leaned over his desk, his strong jaw steady as he began the lecture. The same jaw she’d kissed. She knew she needed to focus on what he was saying and forced herself to take copious notes to keep from being rattled. Still, the memory of his hands roaming her hair, his lips on her neck shook her in ways she’d never dreamed about, and heat seeped up her face.

  She had to stop, for reasons quite aside from her teaching certificate. Wanting him like that before they were wed was wrong. What if they never were? That was why purity was expected. Until two people committed and said their oaths before God, anything could happen. His thoughts of her could cool and she would be alone. If all they felt went no deeper than the attraction between them, it would be better if they did separate.

  The blackboard filled as the day wore on and Lula kept scribbling. He’d mentioned that he would quiz the class before the end, and she didn’t want to fail. Being with him was fresh, new, exciting … distracting. But now she couldn’t spend even a moment with him. She had to stick with her other dream, her original dream, for now, no matter how much he entered her thoughts.

  Barton called on Izzy to come to the front and write on the board. He’d never call on Lula again because it would draw attention to them. Tension hung in the classroom, as if everyone knew something was wrong, but couldn’t place. Every student searched each face for the source and Lula prayed they skimmed by her just as Barton had.

  The clock struck the hour and Barton dismissed everyone for lunch. Izzy shackled Lula’s arm and lifted her from the chair. “Don’t give him the chance to talk to you. You’ve done well so far, just keep going.”

  “I wasn’t. Let go of my arm.” Lula pulled herself loose and glanced at Barton, who was talking with a male student and facing away from the two women. He and Lula didn’t need anyone telling them to stay apart – they were doing it already. The only thing Izzy was adding was bruises on her arm.

  Izzy didn’t grab her again but did follow right on her heels down the hall to the exit. “There, you made it through the hardest day. It wasn’t so difficult, was it? You can do this. Before you know it, you’ll wonder why you were ever drawn to … him.” At least she wasn’t living by two separate rules. Izzy didn’t want her to get caught but wasn’t making a silly mistake like announcing her folly in front of everyone.

  “I don’t think you understand. That was one of the most difficult days I’ve ever gone through
. In the past, I could go to him if he acted like he did today and ask him what was wrong. Not now, I know what’s wrong. Me. He’s disgusted with me, but still has to have me sitting there.”

  “He has no reason to be disgusted with you. You’re the one who should be disgusted with him. No gentleman does that. Harland would never do that.”

  That was twice Izzy had mentioned Harland in comparison to Barton. She’d promised to say nothing about him, but she had to wonder if Izzy was trying to convince her…or herself.

  It was easy to recall exactly what she’d done and felt, but she wouldn’t confess it to Izzy. If she did, she’d be on the first train back home. Izzy would consider her a hussy, report her to the dean, and Lula would go home. Her brother-in-law, Beau, and her sister, Ruby, would be so disappointed in her. She couldn’t let them down, even if she’d let herself down. She’d let herself become Hattie in thought, if not in deed, but she could still be redeemed. If Hattie could find peace and healing, so could Lula. She still didn’t want to give up her dream, didn’t want to live for someone else’s pleasure. There was more to life than doting. Though, the more she repeated it, the less she felt it. She’d started using Beau and Ruby as her only excuse for staying, and that mostly because she didn’t want to admit her true feelings to them.

  Each of her older sisters had found happiness and love with unexpected men, and every last one adored their husbands. But not like Hattie and Hugh, who often seemed oblivious to anyone else than any other married couple. Though perhaps that was just the way they were?

  She’d find out over Christmas break. She’d go home and could watch her three oldest sisters, Ruby, Jennie and Hattie, with their husbands. Her other two sisters now lived elsewhere. Hattie’s twin Eva lived in Lead with her husband George, and Frances lived in Deadwood with her husband Clive, writing dime romance novels together. She could use some mature wisdom. She could also make a decision about her future without the temptation of Barton present.