Spaces Between Notes

by Kristina M Sanchez

  “Stereotypical parents’ worst nightmare, eh?”

  “Yep. Now you see Niko’s plan. He gets Betsy to pretend to agree to the breakup her mom wanted, and then she brings me home instead of Niko.”

  “Bet he looked really good after that.”

  “Yeah, but the thing that made the whole deal really sweet was that he knew Betsy was struggling with some self-esteem issues.”

  “Most teens do.”

  “That’s true, but hers revolved around her mom. He and Betsy were never too serious, and that was a lot of trouble for a teen boy to go through for not too serious. After that, he worked his ass off to show Betsy’s mom he was a nice kid. I asked him about it later after they’d fizzled out, and he said he did it to make Betsy smile. Not because he was trying to get some—he was already getting some—but just because it gave her a boost.”

  Niko furrowed his brow. He didn’t know why Jamie was talking up that incident. It was weird he was putting so much thought into it. At the time, Niko had just found Betsy’s mother annoying and wanted to make her eat her words. And yeah, he didn’t like the way the girl’s mother did a number on her self-esteem, but that seemed unimportant.

  Jamie sighed. “He was a clever bastard. I wish you could’ve known him.”

  “Why do you talk about him in the past tense?” Carys asked, her tone unassuming.

  Niko clenched his fists at his side, sure he didn’t want to hear this but unable to make himself move.

  “That was a dick thing to say, wasn’t it?” Jamie asked.

  “No, I have no idea what he was like before. He lost his voice. He has to adapt, and by definition, that means he can’t be the person he was. I get that, and you deserve to grieve that loss.”

  “There’s a ‘but’ in here somewhere,” Jamie said.

  “But be careful. My father never got over the fact his son wasn’t his definition of normal. He loves Benny, but he says such harmful things along those same lines. Like if only he could speak normally. He still hasn’t learned sign language because he wants to encourage Benny to talk like everyone else even though he’s much more comfortable with sign.”

  “A dad not wanting to communicate with his kid is… pretty messed up.”

  “It’s why we don’t see much of him anymore. But the point is, from my perspective, there’s nothing missing from Niko. I like him.”

  Though he wasn’t sure what he was supposed to think about this whole exchange, Niko had to smile at that. Sure she liked him. That was because she’d never heard him speak.

  “You only say that because you’ve never heard him talk,” Jamie said.

  Niko’s lips twitched, and he took that as his cue to end this conversation before it got really awkward. He backtracked a bit and purposefully kicked a stack of boards so it made a clattering noise.

  “Hey,” Jamie said, coming around the corner. “We were just talking about you.”

  Niko waved his hand in a “what?” gesture, feigning innocence.

  “Carys here was telling me the lengths you’d go through to get out of a day of work.” He picked up Niko’s hand and twisted it around to look. “Your excuses are already weak. If your hand isn’t falling off, you can work.”

  Niko yanked his hand back. He wasn’t the handholding type.

  “Come on, man. I want to see the carnage,” Jamie said.

  “You’re terrible,” Carys said to Jamie. She turned to Niko with a smile. “But as long as you’re here, I can change the dressing. Hard to wrap your own hand. And if Jamie happens to see what you did…” She shrugged.

  Niko pretended to look put out, but then he headed up the back steps, grabbing Jamie by his shirt collar and hauling him with them into the house.

  Niko didn’t mind rain so much as he minded the typical Southern Californian’s inability to drive in it. He’d managed to arrive at Carys’s house alive only to face a much more aggravating problem: mud.

  Now Niko understood why his father hated rainy days. He’d thought it was because his father ended up wet when working outdoors, but that didn’t track. Whenever any of his kids had whined about going outside in the rain, Vincente had scoffed and told them they weren’t made of sugar.

  Niko was frustrated. He’d lost two days earlier that week because Carys insisted on letting his hand heal, and now he was about to lose another. A voice in his head, which sounded irritatingly like his father, chided him for not being prepared. If he’d known rain was on the horizon, he could’ve moved on to a job he could do regardless of the weather. Time, Vincente had said again and again, was too valuable to waste with carelessness.

  Niko was about to concede defeat and turn away when he thought he saw something move. He leaned in closer and gasped.

  Tucked on the inside of the wood foundation Niko had laid on the right side of the steps was a tiny, moving mass. He reached in and pulled out a sodden, muddy kitten. The pathetic thing gave a squeak of a meow and lashed out feebly. Its body was far too cold to the touch.

  Cupping the miserable creature in one palm, he opened his jacket and tucked the kitten close to his breast as he hurried inside. In the kitchen, he rummaged through Carys’s drawer until he found an adequate-sized dish towel.

  He’d just popped the towel in the microwave when Carys came in. “I was hoping it was you banging around in here. I thought for sure you’d be the kind of stubborn ass to stay out in the rain and… What are you doing?”

  He shook the warm towel out, laying it on the counter, and gestured with his chin for her to watch.

  “Oh, look. Poor baby.”

  At the sight of the thing, Carys rushed forward. She ended up pressed against him, her hand resting on the bulge under his jacket. Startled at her sudden nearness, Niko’s thought process went blank. It was only for a moment, though, and he quickly set about his task of getting the kitten warm and dry.

  “Why don’t you put it in the sink and wash all that mud off?”

  Niko shook his head, not looking up at her as he wrapped the kitten in the heated towel. The Amorosa household had never been short at least a few strays, so Niko knew how to keep a kitten alive. He’d bathe the creature after he got its body temperature up.

  The thing mewed plaintively, and Carys chuckled. “None of that,” she said, reaching out to stroke its muddy head with the tip of her finger. “Niko’s trying to help you. Poor thing.”

  The kitten settled then, blinking sleepily as Niko kept it tucked close to his body. It seemed to be breathing fine now that it was warm.

  Again, Niko became distracted from his mental inventory when Carys rested her head on his shoulder. “Is it going to be okay?”

  Niko turned his head to look at her and nodded. In fact, he suspected they were going to have an angry kitten on their hands in a few minutes.

  He shifted a bit, taking the bundled kitten and holding it out to her. Carys went with the flow, letting him put the towel-wrapped animal in her arms. She drew the kitten close, imitating Niko’s pose so it benefited from the warmth of her body. She looked up at Niko for approval, and he nodded again.

  When he was sure Carys and the kitten were fine, he stepped to the sink and turned the water on. He left it to warm and found a smaller washcloth and another dish towel.

  “You just got it dry. Now you’re going to drown it again?”

  Niko glanced at her and raised an eyebrow. The kitten was still covered head to claws in mud, and it was too young and too dirty to clean itself.

  Carys scratched the kitten’s head. “You’re right. It just seems cruel.”

  Stopping up the sink so warm water could gather, Niko held his hands out for the kitten. Carys cuddled the thing close before handing it over.

  As he predicted, the kitten was not happy to be wet all over again. Niko did his best to work quickly, washing off the mud and checking the kitten for injuries, while the thing’s tiny cries got louder.

  “Almost done, little bit,” Carys said, again moving into Niko’s personal space.<
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  The kitten lashed out with miniscule paws, claws out, and Niko had to smile. He flipped the animal over and showed Carys.

  “There you are, pretty boy,” Carys said, scratching the kitten’s head when Niko set him down on the counter. “See? You’re all clean.”

  Niko’s grin broadened as the kitten darted its tongue out, managing to look both pathetic and indignant as Niko toweled him dry. He let the kitten take a few steps, estimating it was perhaps five weeks old. That wasn’t bad. Five-week-old kittens weren’t as difficult to care for as newer babies.

  When he had the kitten swaddled again like a human baby, he turned and came up short when he found Carys’s face so close. He blinked as her eyes met his.

  Carys cleared her throat and took a step back. “Sorry.”

  He shook his head and, remembering the bundle in his hands, thrust the kitten at her. She seemed startled. “What am I supposed to do with it?” she asked, taking it anyway.

  Niko put his hands to his chest. When Carys got the idea and cuddled the kitten close, Niko mimed eating and pointed to the kitten. The kitten was skinnier than he should’ve been and probably hadn’t had a decent meal in a while. He pointed to himself and out the door.

  “But you’re soaked. You have to be cold.” She shook her head, her expression exasperated but amused when he gave her a look. “Silly question. You’re all that is man. Yes, I’ll keep him warm while you go get him some food.”

  There was a pet store in the shopping center only a mile or so away from the house. Niko was already in the door when he remembered why he hadn’t been in any store alone since the accident.

  “Hello. Do you need any help finding anything today?”

  Niko shook his head at the smiling attendant, fighting down a glower. He still had the impulse to put on a charming grin to coax a smile from the attendants. There was truth to the saying you attract more flies with honey. A smile, some warmth, and a slightly flirtatious manner got him what he wanted and made the attendant happier. No one lost in that scenario.

  But now, Niko ducked his head and got by the woman as quickly as possible. He didn’t need her help, anyway.

  He made it to the food aisle and was comparing two brands when a huff caught his attention. It was pure instinct to look up, and unfortunately, he made eye contact with the woman who’d walked up after he got there.

  “It’s so hard to decide on food, isn’t it? Poor babies. They only get the one kind of meal.” The stranger gestured with her head toward the wall of food. “I want to get the stuff that’s on sale, but I keep thinking, ‘Would I want bargain-store meat three times a day as my only meal?’”

  The woman was pretty and perhaps a few years older than him. Out of habit, Niko noted she wasn’t wearing a ring. It was a natural segue. This side of nine months ago, he would’ve had her number in five minutes flat.

  As it was, Niko offered the woman what had to be a half-assed smile and a shrug before he looked away, hoping she would take the hint.

  She didn’t.

  “So you have a kitten, huh?” she asked, peering at the two bags in his hands. “What’s its name?”

  Breathing in through his nose, Niko shrugged again. He tried not to look, but he saw the moment it registered with the woman that he wasn’t going to talk to her. Her cheeks heated with embarrassment, but then irritation took over. “Okay, buddy. You don’t have to be a dick about it.” She grabbed a bag of the bargain food, hefted it into her cart, and took off down the aisle with her head held high.

  Niko put down the bag of kitten food before he gave in to the impulse to throw it. He turned his attention back to his choices, trying to concentrate again.

  After he’d settled on the food he needed, he got two bowls, a couple of toys, litter, and a simple litter box. He also shook off another offer of help and got away with nodding at a guy who exclaimed, “Seven dollars for this? I could make this.’”

  You could, Niko wanted to say, but you’re here bitching about it instead.

  “Did you find everything you needed today?” the checker asked as he began to ring up Niko’s items.

  Niko nodded

  “Do you have our card?”

  He shook his head.

  “It’s free to use. Would you like to fill out an application?”

  Niko pressed his tongue to the roof of his mouth. Maybe it was a good thing he couldn’t yell at anyone. He shook his head.

  The checker finally seemed to get the hint and rung him up without comment.

  “You have a nice day, sir,” he said, overemphasizing politeness in that way people did when they thought someone was being a massive dick but they couldn’t say so.

  Niko’s jaw ached from clenching it by the time he got back to his car. He slammed his fist into the dashboard, sucking in a breath as a jolt of agony went up his arm. He rubbed his knuckles, but the tightness in his chest was gone. He started the car and headed back toward Carys’s house.

  As he drove, Niko started to think this was a bad idea. Carys probably didn’t know the first thing about taking care of an animal, and he wasn’t going to be able to explain. Jamie had a date right after work, and Niko wasn’t about to cockblock him just to give her a lesson in kitten care.

  His mood was as foul as the weather by the time he got back to Carys’s house. It was pouring again. He stacked all the supplies inside the litter box and headed toward the back of the house.

  Carys wasn’t in the kitchen anymore, but then Niko hadn’t expected her to be. He found her in the living room. Cold though he was from the rain and moody to boot, warmth bloomed at the center of his chest when he saw her. She was stretched out on the couch, her eyes closed and a hand cupped over the ball of fluff that was tucked under her chin. Her hair was loose and wild around her head, her face peaceful in sleep.

  It hadn’t escaped his notice that Carys was pretty. He’d figured that part out the unfortunate night they’d met, but he’d assumed that observation was useless given he’d been beating up her grandmother’s house at the time. It was a hell of a first impression to overcome. If they’d met any other way…

  His mind provided a filthy image to fill in the blank. If they’d met any other way, maybe they’d be spending this rainy day focused on a much different pussy, and he knew how to take care of a woman in many more ways than he did a cat. He was good with his tongue. Was there a better way to ward off the cold than to lap the warmth from between her legs?

  Niko gave himself a full body shake.

  Get a grip, Amorosa.

  Besides the fact Carys had witnessed him trying to destroy the house, it wasn’t as though he had the means to seduce her. If she woke up and found him staring at her, she’d get to add “creeper” to her list of his personality traits. He’d be a creeper-mute with anger problems.

  He backtracked a few feet to where he’d set the cat supplies. In the kitchen, he opened the wet cat food and put it in one of the dishes. Back in the living room, he set the dish on the coffee table. He smiled when Carys wrinkled her nose, her lips curling in the cutest crinkle.

  “Ugh. That smells terrible.” She opened her bleary eyes.

  Niko winked and reached out to pluck the cat from its perch. It gave a plaintive squeak and tried to scramble back to his warm nest. He plunked the kitten down in front of the food. It mewed again, sniffing, and darted a tiny pink tongue out to taste.

  Two minutes later, the kitten was sitting in the food, purring contentedly as he munched. Niko rubbed a hand over his eyes, charmed.

  Beside him on the couch, Carys giggled. It was a delighted sound, and that charmed Niko, too. He turned his head just enough that he could watch her watching the kitten. Why he was suddenly so aware of her, he didn’t know. That quick fantasy had caught him off guard, and he couldn’t shake the pull of desire.

  He pushed the thought away. It had been a long damn while since he’d been with anyone. She was smart, kind, pretty, and smelled like a girl. That was more than enough to stoke any
number of fantasies.

  “He’s going to need another bath,” Carys said, drawing his attention back to the fuzzball.

  Niko had to think for a moment before he remembered the sign for “name.”

  “I suppose that would help.” She reached out to pet the kitten. He was blinking slowly, and Niko was just waiting for him to faceplant in what remained of his food. “What are you going to name him?”

  Furrowing his brow, he pointed at Carys.

  “Me?”

  He’d assumed Carys would want to keep the kitten. Whenever his family had rescued a stray, it had been added to the mish-mash of kids and animals that made up the Amorosa family. He pointed to the cat and then to Carys.

  “Oh. You’re not going to keep it?”

  C-A-N-T, he spelled.

  “Can’t,” Carys corrected. She held her left index finger out straight and hit it with her right index finger, making an exaggerated frowning face.

  Niko dutifully mimicked the sign.

  “Not allowed in your place?” she asked.

  He nodded. Jamie had wanted him to get a dog after the accident, but he would’ve had to have moved a more affordable apartment.

  Carys looked toward the kitten. “I can’t, either.” Her tone was wistful. “Benny hates pets.”

  Niko waved one hand in a questioning gesture. What did Benny have to do with anything? He didn’t live there.

  “I’d never hear the end of it if a cat started climbing all over him.”

  The kitten had shaken himself awake and mewed now. He took a few toddling steps in Carys’s direction and mewed again. He stuck one foot out as though he were testing to see if there really was only air between the tabletop and his new favorite bed. Carys gasped and reached out, picking up the messy kitten. She squealed when he tried to burrow into her neck, getting food all over her.

  Carys held the kitten at arm’s length, studying it. Niko could tell she was fighting a smile, trying not to like the creature too much. She glanced at him.