Spaces Between Notes

by Kristina M Sanchez

  When he needed to breathe, he still didn’t let her go. His eyes were closed, and the feel of her clinging to him sent a shiver down his spine. He stroked his fingers against the small of her back and kissed her more sweetly this time—a small kiss, tender. He breathed in her scent; fresh body wash, breakfast, and warm female. He grinned against her mouth.

  He pulled back, though he let his hands linger at her waist a moment longer as he opened his eyes. She blinked at him, face flushed and eyes gone dreamy. His grin widened, and he winked at her. He let his hands drop and took another step back, gesturing toward the house.

  “Breakfast,” she said as though she was trying to remember what the hell they were supposed to be doing. “Right.”

  They went inside. Niko tried to help, but Carys thwarted him at every turn until he gave up. He sat and let her serve him. She seemed to have a restless energy that needed to be spent. He scratched the top of Maestro’s fuzzy head as he watched Carys dart around the kitchen.

  He wondered if it was his imagination that she’d paid attention. There was no sausage this time. Bacon, eggs, toast, and coffee but no orange juice—all the things he’d preferred from her first breakfast.

  She sat across from him and put only toast on her plate. He raised the plate of bacon, making a gesture to serve her, and she shook her head, her smile rueful. “Not that hungry,” she said.

  Niko wondered if she was too nervous about being around him and then chided himself for being so vain. She had any number of things to worry about, not the least of which was a brother who liked to date men who were apparently bigger assholes than he was. Or maybe it was nothing at all, and she really wasn’t hungry.

  She nibbled on the corner of her bread, distracted until he ducked his head and caught her eye. She straightened up and pointed to the bacon. “Bacon,” she said. She held the pointer and middle finger of both her hands together and touched their tips, then drew them backward in a wave and looked at him expectantly.

  “In case you need to ask for more,” she said when he pulled a face.

  He pointed at the plate of bacon, made a “gimmie” motion, and flashed a smug grin.

  “Don’t be stubborn, Nik. Bacon.” She made the sign again.

  He rolled his eyes, more playful than irritated, and obliged her. It was worth it to see her pleased smile. “Good. Now eggs.” She held the pointer and middle fingers of both her hands together again and tapped her right fingers on her left, pulling them off to the side. “Like you’re cracking an egg. See?” She repeated the motion.

  That wasn’t how he cracked eggs, but he got the idea. He repeated the sign.

  “Scrambled eggs.” She moved her hands, one cupped over and one cupped under, in a scrambling motion and then combined it with the sign for eggs.

  His sign must’ve been too loose for her because she moved to the seat next to him. She took his hand in hers, moving his fingers and pressing the backs of her hands into his palms to shape them. “Firm, remember? Not limp.”

  He tilted his head and waggled his eyebrows. She closed her eyes briefly, huffing out a laugh as her cheeks tinged pink. “You’re a pervert, Nikolai Amorosa.”

  She licked her lips, drawing his attention down. When he looked back up, her eyes were dark, hungry. She swayed, and he thought for a moment she’d lean in for another kiss.

  “Toast,” she said, her voice husky.

  His lip twitched. She leaned back and cleared her throat.

  “Toast,” she said again, more clearly. She held her left hand out and made a peace sign with her right hand. She skewered first the top then the underside of her hand. “Like a piece of bread and you stick a fork through it to toast it over the fire.”

  Not taking his eyes off her, he repeated the sign.

  He could’ve kissed her. If he had his voice, he could’ve had her right there on the kitchen table, breakfast be damned, if that was what he wanted. He did want her. Of course he did. She knew it, too. It was written all over her face.

  “Bacon. Scrambled eggs. Toast.” Her voice didn’t match the words. She was talking about food, but her tone was whispering sultry things in his ears. “Now you can order breakfast.”

  Niko narrowed his eyes as her words sunk in. Order breakfast?

  In the months since the accident, he’d gone out maybe three times and always with Jamie. He hated restaurants. Jamie could order for him because he knew what Niko liked, but it never stopped the waiter from looking at him with an expression of pity. What kind of man couldn’t order for himself?

  He sat back in his seat and turned his attention to the bacon and eggs. Now he could order breakfast. Maybe if he was out with her. Maybe that was what she wanted, for him to be able to go out with her and tell her what he wanted so she could order for him. Wouldn’t that be fun?

  “What did I say?” Carys asked, reading his bad mood.

  Niko breathed in through his nose and out, forcing himself to dispel that pitying energy. It wasn’t her fault this had happened to him. He shook his head.

  “Thank you,” he signed. “Good.”

  They finished the rest of breakfast in relative silence. It wasn’t an uncomfortable silence, though it wasn’t easy, either. He was being a pissy baby, and it was irritating the hell out of him. After a minute or two, he tapped the back of her hand and then tapped his coffee cup.

  Carys furrowed her brows because his cup was full. When she realized what he was asking, her face lit up. “Coffee.” She moved her fists, one on top of another, in a circular motion. “Like you’re grinding coffee.”

  He took another breath, pushing past his annoyance at his limited communication. “I-m-p-o-r-t-a-n-t”, he spelled, and he waggled his eyebrows to convey humor.

  She laughed, some of the heaviness lifting from the atmosphere. “Important,” she said, making the sign. “Yes. Very.”

  An uncertain expression came over her then, and Niko could tell she was trying to figure if now was a good time to talk. He did his best not to grimace, but before she could start in, though, Bennett came into the room. Niko didn’t know if he should be relieved at the reprieve.

  For a fraction of a second, Bennett looked innocent and cute. There was no other way to put it. His hair stuck out in all directions, rumpled from sleep, and he rubbed his eyes like a sleepy toddler. He sat at the table and looked to his sister, obviously expecting to be served. His usual scowl made a reappearance when he registered Niko was there.

  Benny looked to his sister and signed something, his expression derisive. She glared and signed back. Irritated, Niko gathered his breakfast dishes and headed to the sink.

  “I’ll clean everything up,” Carys said, not looking at him. It was a clear dismissal. He supposed they wanted to argue in peace despite the fact he couldn’t understand them if they did.

  Well, he was just the help after all. Niko sat his plates at the sink, snagged another piece of bacon, and headed out the door.

  Maybe half an hour later, the back door opened again and Carys came out carrying a blanket. Niko nodded at her but otherwise kept his eyes on his work. Carys similarly ignored him for a time. She spread her blanket out on the lawn near him but not close enough that she was interfering with his work.

  Curiosity drew his attention when she carried her kitten and an instrument, if it could even be called that, outside. It was a dilapidated thing that used to be a cello. If it had been Niko’s, he would’ve called it kindling. Not even that, seeing as it was Southern California and fireplaces were really only for decoration. If he were feeling especially creative, he might’ve used it as a planter and let nature eventually reclaim what was hers.

  Since he couldn’t say any of that, Niko put his hands on his hips, stared at the thing, and swept his hand wide as though to say, “The hell?”

  “It’s a cello,” Carys said.

  Niko continued to look at her, not impressed.

  “What did you think instruments look like when they need to be restored?” she asked. Sh
e turned the cello onto its belly, showing him the back. “Lots of scratches and cracks, especially on bouts.” She pointed at the top and bottom of the cello. “There’s a break here between the heel and the neck. I’m probably going to have to replace the fingerboard and endpin.”

  She was talking more to herself than him now, scratching her chin with one hand while the other moved lovingly over the wood. He liked seeing her like this, in her element.

  Niko retreated back to his sanding, watching as Carys began to disassemble the cello. She seemed deep in concentration, so he was startled when she started talking a few minutes later.

  “I know you don’t like my brother.”

  Niko looked her straight in the eyes and shrugged. It was true, but she didn’t seem upset about it.

  “It’s not like I blame you. He hasn’t given you a reason to like him.” She had a spray bottle of water with her she used to spray one of the broken pieces. “He’s a really great guy most of the time. It’s been a rough couple of months. That prick he was living with was turning him against the world. Not that it’s difficult.”

  She picked up an X-ACTO knife and began to poke at the broken piece in her hand. After a moment, Niko realized she was removing traces of the old glue. “He was such a sweet little boy,” she said with a wistful sigh. “Growing up Deaf, it’s hard, especially since our dad was always trying to make him normal.

  “The thing is that the Deaf will never be normal in that sense. It’s not a bad thing to admit that. They have their own normal and live in a different culture than we do, because they can’t hear our language. They can be taught to speak it, but that’s not the same thing. That’s why Benny’s so blunt. The Deaf don’t pick up on things like the way we beat around the bush.”

  As she spoke, she kept picking at the glue on the broken piece. It was fascinating to Niko how the cadence of her words seemed measured by her careful movements. “A lot of parents do what my dad did. Their hearts are in the right place and want their kid to fit in, but it alienates them instead. They’re prone to trouble. I knew that. I knew it.”

  Those last words came out more strangled than the others, and Niko raised his head from his work. Her shoulders were rigid, her face tense. “After my mother died, my dad made my entire life about Benny. ‘Take care of your brother, Care. He’s got no mother to help him.’ I did everything for that kid. He was my whole world, and when I got to be about eighteen, I resented it.”

  Niko thought of Delilah playing mother to the twins when she was way too young for the part, all because their mother had to work and their father didn’t think it was up to a man to take care of children. Niko resented it for Del since his sister was too busy raising children to resent it for herself.

  “I ran off and came here to live with Grandma,” Carys said. “Benny… It was bad. We could’ve lost him. We came damn close to losing him.”

  Niko didn’t have to be told the rest. Bennett went off the deep end, Carys went crawling back to her family, and her little brother became her life again. Why the hell she was telling him about it, Niko had no idea.

  This was not the conversation he’d been expecting. Not by a long shot.

  Niko set down the sandpaper and went to Carys. He sat beside her and offered his hand. She stared at it a moment before she took it, looking up at him with eyes that implored him to understand.

  “I have to take care of him, you know?”

  She didn’t, but he understood why she thought she did. Either way, it wasn’t his business to tell her how to live her life. He squeezed her hand.

  Carys rested her head on his shoulder. “Things will be better now that he’s away from that bastard. You’ll see. He really is a good guy when he’s happy.”

  Most people were. His little brother, Micah, had been a moody little shit when he was with his ex-boyfriend. He’d been a lot less irritating now that he was back with his twin. Being with Nia made him happy.

  “You helped me a lot.”

  Niko turned his head to glance at her.

  “He wouldn’t let me help him. It’s so frustrating.”

  Niko snorted because he knew. He’d been ready to pull his own hair out over Micah before. Little brothers were pains in the ass.

  “Then you came along, someone I could actually help. I mean, I think I helped. A little.”

  Again, Niko snorted. He pointed to the unfinished deck boards and then brought his wrists together as though he was expecting to be handcuffed.

  She grinned. “Yeah. I like you better out of jail, too.”

  He ran the pad of his thumb along her jaw, following the motion with his eyes and brushed the backs of his knuckles down her cheek.

  Carys sighed and rested her head again on his shoulder. “This is nice. Nice is good.”

  Niko rested his head against hers. He took her hand and squeezed it. If this was what she meant by the same page, then yes. They were on it.

  Niko had his earbuds in, so he didn’t hear Maestro’s plaintive mews to get his attention. He was unaware the creature was outside until he felt a tug at his pant leg and looked down to find the tiny kitten scaling his jean-clad leg. He put down the nail gun and picked the animal up, looking around to see if Carys was back from her errand.

  A quick jaunt around the house showed all the doors were closed. Niko frowned and wondered how Maestro had found his way outside. Most of the cats he’d owned throughout his life had been indoor/outdoor cats, but Maestro was a touch young to be allowed to simply wander. When he was stronger—able to run faster, jump, and climb—sure, but not now.

  Unable to solve the mystery at a glance, Niko settled for getting the kitten back inside. He checked his food and water bowls and then set Maestro down. The kitten gave him a look of betrayal and teetered after him when he tried to get back to work. Always a sucker for pathetically tiny mews, Niko sat on the couch and teased him with a feather toy. Cat acrobatics had been one of his favorite things since childhood.

  Before Niko could convince himself to get back to work, he heard heavy steps on the stairs. He couldn’t put the toy away before Bennett appeared. Maybe Niko should’ve been used to the other man’s resting bitch face by now, but no such luck. Automatic irritation went through him as they stared at each other.

  Bennett signed something disdainful by the sarcastic look on his face. Niko rolled his eyes and made an exasperated gesture. Bennett shook his head.

  “This is what my sister pays you for? Or are you her boyfriend now?”

  Niko grimaced, but Bennett had a point. As a worker, he shouldn’t have been in the house without Carys being there or at least without her expressed permission. Before, when he and Jamie were working on the windows, Carys knew and expected they’d be in the house. Niko had walked in as though he owned the place, and Bennett was right to be annoyed.

  Still, they both knew damn well Carys wouldn’t have had a problem with Niko being in the house. He stood and made a big show of bowing for Bennett in lieu of all the things he wanted to say. He reached down to scratch Maestro behind the ears.

  “Both of you belong outside,” Bennett said, looking at the cat disdainfully.

  Niko narrowed his eyes, thinking he’d solved the mystery of how the cat got outside. He picked Maestro up and set him on his kitty bed, giving Bennett a pointed look. He’d go, but the cat would stay.

  Bennett sneered but turned to head toward the kitchen, leaving the cat alone. Niko called that a win and headed back to work.

  He’d only been back at it for an hour or so when Jamie joined him, and they settled into their typical routine.

  They were getting a lot of work done until Bennett decided he had nothing better to do than lurk. He seemed more curious than derisive, but his presence had Niko constantly looking over his shoulder. He couldn’t shake the idea Bennett was looking for another reason to bitch.

  Jamie set down the board he was working on and turned to face Bennett. He gave a jaunty wave and flashed a wide grin. “Hey, handsome,”
he said, signing a few words as he spoke. “How do you expect me to get any work done when you’re standing here looking pretty?”

  Niko had to turn away so neither of them would see him roll his eyes. Thankfully, the outrageous flirting only lasted a few minutes and had the added benefit of getting Bennett to go back inside, though not because he was uncomfortable. He was obviously lapping up the attention, but Jamie managed to convince him he was too much of a distraction. It was true but not for the reasons the smooth-talker implied.

  When Bennett was behind closed doors, Niko looked over at Jamie. He waved an arm in a “what the fuck?” gesture and pointed to where Bennett had just disappeared.

  Jamie winked and shrugged, looking back to their work. “Because he needs a boost, man.” He shook his head as he picked up the next board. “I know you don’t like him, Nik, but you haven’t really given him a reason to like you, either. You looked at him like he was a freak right off. That’d make anyone defensive.” He paused to give Niko a look. “Not for nothing, but I’d think you might have a better understanding of that lately.”

  Niko glared, but Jamie continued talking as they worked. “Dude’s had a rough time. His life is kind of falling apart. I’m surprised Carys hasn’t told you the whole story. Maybe she has, and you just suck at listening like always.”

  Jamie grunted as he shifted a stubborn board into place. “So the kid’s ridic smart. That doesn’t help when he has a hard time communicating with his coworkers. That was how he lost his last job. Really was a shitty situation. Carys told you the Deaf come off as maybe a little rude, right? So his coworkers had a vendetta against him. It was one of those things where he could sue for wrongful termination, but who has the energy for that?

  “Anyway, so he’s struggling to find a job, and that makes him dependent on the asshole boyfriend. He doesn’t know how much he’s worth.”

  Jamie waved a hand at Niko. “Whatever. Everyone needs to feel good once in a while. It doesn’t hurt me to tell a pretty man he’s pretty, so there you go.”