Dare to Love a Lord: A Historical Regency Romance Book

by Abigail Agar

  Nevertheless, it was a decision that he had made. He was going. And he was going to put an end to this.

  After bursting through the door, Eric went straight to the sewing room. Amelia looked up at him with those blue eyes that mirrored his own.

  “Who do you think you are?” he demanded.

  Amelia’s eyes went from frightened to cool.

  For a moment, Eric was disgusted. He could hardly believe that the two of them were siblings, so different was their character. And although he wanted to pretend that this had all been a misunderstanding, that he could escape it, he had to accept the reality.

  Amelia was his sister and he was not going to let her go.

  “I think I am someone that you cannot seem to move on from irritating,” Amelia finally replied.

  “And why should I? Is there really something wrong with wanting to know my sister? What’s so wrong about that?” he asked.

  “Nothing. Nothing at all. But I have made it very clear to you that I want nothing at all to do with you and I do not understand why you can’t respect that,” she said.

  “I respect it. But I disagree with it. And I am not going to sit by and lose the opportunity to know you. Don’t expect me to, because I won’t. Now, this here, these scandal sheets? They are beside the point. Whether you are my sister or not, I cannot sit by when these things are being written and affecting my family,” Eric said.

  Once more, she regarded him without emotion. A distance in her eyes told him that he could not expect her to take him seriously.

  “My mother reported to them that you were seen with a young woman who was below your birth,” she said, glancing over at Miss Sproul.

  “Why would she do that?” he asked, trying to ignore the look.

  “Because you were putting her in a bad situation, much like your father put my mother through. This is what you get for going after my friend the way that you did,” Amelia said.

  Eric couldn’t believe it.

  He looked at Miss Sproul and took in the sight of her. Even after all that they were going through, he could think of nothing so important as gazing upon her and enjoying the look on her face when she saw him.

  It was a look that conveyed that she was not entirely disappointed with him. Perhaps she was even delighted by him.

  But Eric thought that he must be making too much of it. Surely she did not think so well of him as he thought of her. And yet, here in the middle of everything that they were going through, Miss Sproul still captivated him enough for him to want it to be true.

  But that was not the thing that he had come for. He was not there to woo Emma. He had come for his sister. He had come to convince her to call off her mother. Anything else was just a distraction.

  It was clear that Miss Lockhart was far more vicious than he had imagined. She was ruthless and desperate to see him taken down.

  “I did nothing to harm her reputation,” Eric said.

  “Any man might say that, but who really knows what it is to be a woman and to have her reputation put at risk? Who are you to tell my friend that you have done her no harm? That scandal sheet could just have easily been written about her if there was another man or woman out there who had wanted to cause a problem for you,” Amelia said.

  “But it was no one else. It was you and your mother. The two of you are seeking to harm me, no one else. Would you put her at risk? Would you allow anyone to write against your friend? I cannot imagine someone doing something like that to a person that they claim to care about,” Eric said, unwilling to back down.

  His sister glared at him for a moment.

  “This is what you get for going after my friend. You should have learned from your father. The fact that you have not is your own fault, not mine or my mother’s,” Amelia said.

  Eric had to convince Amelia of his character. He had no idea how he was going to make that happen, but he would not stop. One way or another, he was going to make her see.

  He had never judged those of another station. In fact, he was not sure that his father ever had either. Rather, his father focused so much on his own station that he was quite oblivious to others.

  It mattered not whether they were rich or poor, they were not him.

  And yet, how could Eric use that as his defence? How could he tell his sister that she should trust him when she still believed he was like their father? She saw her father as being a bad man and one way, but he was a bad man in another way all together.

  Eric did not wish to be compared to him.

  He was at a loss. There was nothing that he could say or do and the knowledge of that was infuriating.

  “I am not my father,” he began.

  “Well, that is obvious, but it is not good enough,” Amelia said.

  “I don’t know what you want from me. But I will say again that I am not my father. You see, I respect men and women of all stations. Even those who choose to question my character and to make a mockery of my family in the public eye,” Eric said.

  Amelia let out a peep of a laugh.

  “Oh, I appreciate that you are so kind to those of us that you consider your enemy,” she said.

  “I never called you an enemy. On the contrary, I ignore my enemies. As you have pointed out, I have been utterly unable to ignore you,” Eric said.

  “Then I wish I could be considered an enemy. My life might actually have some semblance of peace again if you would leave me be and go about your business without having to disrupt me at every turn,” Amelia said.

  “It seems highly unlikely. In case you have not noticed, I am certainly the sort of man who is going to fight for the family that I believe I deserve,” he said.

  “Oh, how noble of you,” Amelia said, the sarcasm dripping from her voice as they continued their distasteful speech with one another.

  “Yes, I apologise. I know that nobility is not something that you are familiar with. Both in title and in nature,” he said, landing the insult just where he meant for it to.

  “So I do not understand nobility? You mean to say that I have no integrity?” she asked.

  “Would a woman of integrity put her own friend at risk for untrue gossip all for the sake of revenge against a man who is already dead?” Eric shot back, leaving Amelia silent.

  She looked at Miss Sproul with a sad regret and Miss Sproul was eyeing him with a horrified shock at having been used as his own sort of ammunition.

  Eric felt terrible. He had pointed out the fact that his sister had been a bad friend and he had used that fact for his own benefit. How was he any better than the two women that he was so angered by? How was he any better than Amelia or Miss Lockhart if he was willing to put Miss Sproul through this?

  “Forgive me,” he said, clearing his throat. “Not only for having misused your name for the sake of making a point, but also if I have made you uncomfortable in asking you to dinner. I did not mean to contribute to any gossip or struggle that you may face as a result of all of this.”

  Miss Sproul did not respond right away, but Amelia gave her no chance to consider what she might say.

  “Don’t even bother apologising to her. Really, there is nothing for you to do but get out of the way. Do you not think that we have better things to do with our time than to deal with foolish noblemen who have some strange interest in young ladies that they will never be allowed to be with?” Amelia asked.

  Eric eyes became slits when he looked at her. There was no reason that Amelia had to be so devious and cruel. She had made this decision.

  Perhaps it was because of her mother or perhaps it was her own choice, but Amelia was far from the sister that he had hoped that he might have. She was a cold creature, someone lost to her hate, bewildered by any act of kindness.

  She was fragile and she did not even know it.

  “Do you not think that Miss Sproul might be able to speak for herself?” Eric asked, seeing the impression on the young woman’s face.

  “I have already told you that you needn’t b
other with all of this. Leave Emma alone. You ought to leave,” Amelia said.

  Eric could tell that he was right. Mis Sproul wanted to speak for herself, but she was trying to respect her friend, to stay loyal. It was all there, written upon her face with the way that her jaw was set, slightly off centre. Her eyes darted between the two of them. And her nostrils flared ever so slightly.

  She was struggling, but she was making a choice.

  This was not her fight.

  Eric was impressed, as always, by the way that Miss Sproul had chosen to handle herself. She was a good friend to Amelia and that meant a great deal. But she was also putting up with far too much in order to be that. She ought not have had to deal with many of the things that she was having to face.

  No, instead, she ought to have been given a chance to make up her own mind and have shared it.

  Eric felt quite certain that Miss Sproul had already decided what she would have done if she had been in the same situation on her own, without Amelia to determine what she would and wouldn’t say.

  She would have accepted Eric, forgiven him. That too was on her face.

  Eric began to wonder if he was seeing only what he wanted to see from her.

  Was she really looking at him with that sweet hope? Or was he only wishing that she was looking at him that way?

  He couldn’t be sure. He couldn’t know much of anything.

  “I ought to leave,” he said, repeating the words that his sister had just said to him. Maybe she was right. Maybe he had been an idiot to think that any of this could come together in a positive light.

  Eric felt as though he might as well give up. He wanted Emma to hear him out. He wanted her to know that he was not the bad man that her friend claimed he was.

  He had been trying to show her that. He had been trying to express himself and all of his goodness, but he had no idea as to whether or not he had been successful.

  In the end, Eric knew that he had no choice. He had to leave. And once he left, he did not know if there would be any coming back.

  Chapter 20

  Emma lay upon her bed, thinking through everything that was taking place around her. It all felt so out of her control.

  Everything was up to Amelia to determine.

  It was unfair. Her choices, her life, her decisions, none of that should have been in the hands of her friend. It should’ve been up to her.

  But it was too late for all of that. Amelia had made her decisions. Those decisions were not Emma’s to change. What right did she have to get in the way of Amelia and her brother?

  The earl had been a surprise. Although she had not the same anger and bitterness towards nobility that Amelia had, Emma had never trusted them. She knew them as money grabbers and the ones who made the rules that caused her family to be in their state of property.

  But the Earl of Thornbury was nothing like that.

  He was kind and amusing. There was something carefree and almost childlike about his hopes for others. Even in the midst of family drama and the risks to his reputation, it was as though he saw only the hope for things to turn out the way he wanted.

  Maybe it was foolishness. Maybe his idealism was a flaw. But Emma could not help but see it as a positive. It brought a brightness to her.

  So, as she lay there, thinking through all of this, she began to wonder whether or not she should disregard Amelia’s feelings all together.

  Even thinking it Emma was ashamed.

  She respected the earl. And she knew that she could not ignore the fact that she had feelings for him now. She had developed such an affection for him that it even made her question her loyalties.

  She knew that liking him was not necessarily a good thing and she wished that she could put those thoughts and feelings aside long enough to mend things with Amelia.

  Sighing, Emma looked over beside her and saw the scandal sheets from that day. She grabbed them and began to read, wanting to know if they had anything to say about the Earl of Thornbury that had not already been said. She wondered if they had managed to sneak in anymore lies or blown up titbits of gossip.

  There was his name.

  The Sixth Earl of Thornbury. It would appear that he was unable to heed any warnings against the behaviour that he had shown both recently and even now. The earl has continued in his mistakes, choosing to ignore the little weight that his name still carried. Not only that, but he has been more than willing to drag through the mud the name of Miss Emma Sproul.

  Miss Sproul is currently his choice of young ladies to pursue. Following in the footsteps of his father, he has chosen a woman who is not nobility, someone who will go unnoticed should any impropriety take place.

  The Earl of Thornbury has not been subtle in his actions and it is believed that the two of them have been perfectly open about seeing one another in Finchley.

  Emma was furious. She crumpled the paper in her hand, letting it fall as her fist slowly opened up again. She could not believe that Amelia had allowed this to happen.

  Now it was even her own name being dragged through the sheets. She was being gossiped about despite having done nothing at all improper.

  She knew that it was Amelia’s mother who was responsible for all of this. But Amelia had done nothing to prevent it. With that in mind, she had to be every bit as responsible.

  There was nothing for it other than to go and confront her friend.

  She was on her way to Amelia’s home when she saw her friend walking down the street. Wishing that they might have a bit more privacy, Emma decided that it didn’t really matter. She would confront Amelia regardless.

  “Emma, what a surprise. I did not think that I would see you out after you said that you had a headache again,” Amelia greeted as she saw Emma come near to her.

  “Yes, a great surprise, isn’t it? What a shame that my headaches have not kept me indoors long enough to study what is written in the papers,” Emma said, her voice a threat.

  Amelia took a step back, appearing surprised that Emma would be so vocal about her displeasure. After all, Emma had never been hostile towards Amelia. There was some small part of her that was glad of it. She was glad that she could surprise Amelia, could make her feel small and weak for once when their entire friendship had been based upon Emma being the small one, the quiet one.

  “Is something the matter?” Amelia asked.

  “Oh, yes. Something is very much the matter, Amelia. In fact, I am shocked that you haven’t managed to figure it out on your own. Have you read the scandal sheets?” Emma asked.

  Amelia shook her head, not taking her eyes from Emma’s face. They were wide with concern and she swallowed hard. Emma maintained her dominant posture, unwilling to back down even from her friend, who had always been the more bold of the two.

  Emma handed the wadded up paper over to Amelia, who took it in her hands. She did not smooth it out and read it, but Emma imagined that she would do that later. For now, she simply wanted Amelia to listen to what it was that she had to say. It was her turn to speak.

  “Well, perhaps you ought to. After all, it is the fault of you and your mother that my name has been listed upon those pages. It is because of the two of you that I am being spoken of as though I am a toy being used for a nobleman’s pleasure. As though I have no regard for my own worth,” Emma said.