Love After All

by Jaci Burton

He shook his head. "Okay. But if you want to stop, signal me and we'll come back, okay?"

  She wasn't listening. She headed over to her machine and stared at it for a few minutes, trying to remember all the things the instructor had said about safety and operation. Finally, she climbed aboard, familiarized herself with the gears, and started her engine.

  She'd show Bash she was just as equipped to run this beast as he was.

  Though she waited for the others to get started. They weren't the only ones in the group--there were several other people going on this ride today as well. Maybe she'd just hang back. Like ... way back.

  Except Bash roared over to her, stopping his ATV next to hers.

  "Ready?" he asked.

  Obviously there'd be no hanging back for her.

  "Sure."

  "Good. You know what you're doing, or do you need me to help you?"

  "I've got it." She pushed the throttle, her heart leaping into her throat as the ATV jumped forward.

  "Easy," Bash said. "Just give it a little. It might take you a while to get the feel of it."

  No kidding. She was fine in a car. This machine, however, was something totally different. She did as Bash suggested, and the ATV lurched forward.

  Nausea bubbled around in her stomach. She was not going to enjoy this.

  "I'll take the lead. You follow. But don't worry. I'll keep checking on you, okay?"

  She nodded and moved forward. Slowly. Feeling totally out of her element and utterly out of control. But she was at least making progress. Slow as hell progress, but she had left the parking area, so there was that.

  It took a while, but she finally made her way to the dunes.

  It was crazy there, with sand flying in the air and machines leaping over the dunes.

  No way she was going to do that. Then again, there were teenagers on some of the ATVs. If they could do it, so could she, right?

  Bash made a spinning turn and slid his way to her side. "Are you doing okay?"

  "I'm fine. You go ahead."

  "No. I'll stay here with you."

  "Bash. I'm really getting the hang of this. Besides, our guide dude is behind me. I'm okay."

  Bash looked over at the guide, then back at her. "Are you sure?"

  "Positive. Go have some fun."

  He smiled. "No, I'm going to hang here with you."

  This could possibly be the most boring day of his life. But he'd made his decision. She plodded along at a very slow pace, Bash beside her, the guide following her.

  They were both so patient, Bash telling her she was doing well. Their guide was so bored back here with her he probably had a whiskey flask tucked in his pocket and would likely be dead drunk before they got back.

  She felt like an idiot. A terrified idiot. And she was certain the guide cringed every time she hit the brakes, which was a lot.

  "You're doing great, Chelsea," Bash said.

  She didn't believe him, but she appreciated the pep talk.

  When she came to one of the dunes, she almost slammed on the brakes, but she remembered the guide telling them to ride over them and not to hit the brakes sharply, so she gritted her teeth and rode over the dune. Her butt came off the seat and she held tight to the grips, certain she was going to fly right over the handlebars and die a flaming, painful death in the sand.

  She didn't. In fact, it was kind of ... exhilarating. She looked over at Bash and grinned.

  "See? You're doing it."

  She was doing it. She increased her speed a little more. Not too much more, but a little more. She rode over several dunes, finally convincing Bash that instead of riding beside her, he could go ahead, and she'd follow him. Which she did--more or less. He got ahead of her because he rode a lot faster, but the poor guy had to have at least a little fun before their time was up, and poking along with her wasn't going to cut it.

  Finally, she waved him off, and she throttled back to watch him.

  He was ... amazing. There was something inherently sexy about a man in charge of a machine like that. The way he flew across the dunes, sand spraying in all directions, the roar of the engine deafening her.

  Bash's sex appeal had been off the charts before. Now, though, seeing him standing as he rode across a precariously high dune, she wasn't sure she'd ever seen anything hotter. She should have brought a video camera, though these images of him would be burned in her mind for a very long time. He was as lean as the machine, and when he popped a wheelie and the guide chastised him, he turned and grinned at her, making her laugh.

  Bash might just be showing off a little, just for her.

  And she might just have appreciated that. More than a little.

  She could have sat on her vehicle and watched him ride for hours. Because on a machine where she was decidedly uncomfortable, Bash looked as if he were a natural extension of his.

  In fact, she enjoyed watching the rest of them speeding along, sailing across the tops of the dunes, sand flying in their wake. It looked amazing. But she already knew that wasn't for her. Not today, anyway. She stayed mostly to the smaller crests, and when she mastered those, she felt victorious.

  Bash finally made his way back to her. "You're getting good at this. Ready for a higher dune?"

  "Maybe."

  She was just starting to get comfortable enough to think about venturing out to the bigger dunes when the guide hailed them that their time was coming to a close.

  She actually felt disappointed. She smiled at Bash. "Next time, for sure."

  He grinned, then followed her in toward the parking area. She made it much faster, and this time she stayed with the group. She put on the brake, turned off the engine, then climbed off and took off her helmet.

  "That was so much fun," Molly said. "We have to do that again sometime."

  "We can ride ATVs in Oklahoma," Bash said. "I do it a lot when I go camping."

  "Whenever you go, count us in," Carter said, putting his arm around Molly. "We had a blast."

  "How about you, Chelsea?" Bash asked.

  "I had a great time. I was just warming up when it was over. I'd do it again."

  He put his arm around her and kissed the side of her head. "That's my girl."

  She'd done it. Maybe she'd had to prove to herself that she could, but she'd done it. And surprisingly, she'd had fun with it.

  They all went back to the hotel, changed into swim stuff, and stopped at a restaurant near the beach for lunch.

  "Who knew all that riding would work up such an appetite?" she asked as she dug into the best burger she'd ever eaten.

  "You're normally not a burger lover," Bash said. "I think you have a hangover."

  "I do not." But she was exceptionally thirsty today. And hungry. For carbs. The fries were delicious. Maybe she was hungover. Not that she'd admit it.

  "They are great burgers," Molly said. "Though I didn't have as many margaritas as Chelsea had last night. I just like burgers."

  Chelsea shot Molly a look. "Hey. You're supposed to be on my side."

  "We're taking sides? There's an argument? Did I miss something?"

  Chelsea sighed. "I need a nap."

  Bash laughed. "No arguments. You did great today. I'm really proud of you for even getting on the ATV. You rode it like a pro."

  "Ha. I did not. But I rode it. And had more fun than I thought I would."

  "So, next up, camping."

  She tilted her head to meet his teasing gaze. "That's not going to happen."

  "We'll see. I'll bet I could entice you."

  "You could always go glamping," Molly suggested.

  "What the hell is glamping?" Carter asked, frowning.

  "It's luxury camping. Beyond tents and porta-potties," Chelsea said.

  Bash leaned back in his chair, picking up his iced tea. "Oh, you have to explain this. I can't wait to hear about it."

  "Say you want to camp with a tent," Chelsea said. "There are resorts that provide the tent--a more glamorous version of the kind you throw in the back
of your truck, of course. Maybe nestled in a mountain hideaway, with full bathroom amenities and food provided."

  Bash shook his head. "Might as well stay at a hotel."

  Chelsea shrugged. "It's still camping."

  "Not the way I camp."

  She lifted her chin. "It would be considered a compromise, though."

  He arched a brow.

  "Seriously, look." She pulled out her phone and typed in the search engine, pulling up a site, then handed her phone to Bash. "Check this out."

  He looked it over, then laughed and handed her phone to Carter. "Did you see the prices for this? You might as well book a room at the Four Seasons."

  Carter scrolled through the site. "Holy shit."

  Chelsea sighed, then looked over at Molly. "Clearly they don't appreciate glamping."

  "Clearly," Molly said. "Maybe you and I will take a separate vacation sometime. The guys can go rustic camping. We'll go glamping."

  "Yeah, I can see the two of you 'roughing it' in some spa-like conditions out there in the 'wilderness,'" Bash said, accentuating roughing it and wilderness with air quotes.

  "Okay, fine, so maybe we don't see eye to eye on camping. I rode the damn ATV, didn't I?"

  He laughed, then put his arm around her. "Yes, you did. And without heels on, too."

  She shrugged off his arm. "You're being a dick, Bash."

  "No, I'm not. I appreciate you doing those things you're not comfortable doing. Seriously."

  She was being cranky and she knew it. But he was being unreasonable about the whole camping thing. This was why she had her list. She and Bash were incompatible in so many ways.

  Or, maybe she just needed perspective. And a nap.

  After they finished eating they went down to the water and rented a couple of cabanas, and she stretched out in the shade.

  "Do you want to get in the water?" Bash asked.

  "Not right now. My head's still pounding. I think I'll close my eyes for a few minutes."

  "Okay."

  He left her alone after that and disappeared. She took a couple aspirin and guzzled a lot of water, then settled in under the shady cabana and promptly fell asleep. When she woke up a while later, she was sweaty and disoriented. Neither Bash nor Carter and Molly were anywhere around, so she walked down to the water and cooled herself off. It refreshed her and cleared her head. She stood in the water for a bit, searching up and down the sandy beach for Bash or her friends, but didn't see them, so she headed back to the cabana, grabbed her things and went back to the room. She sent Bash a text message letting him know where she was.

  She took a shower, combed out her hair, and slipped on a sundress. She felt a lot better, too. By then she heard the door open. Bash came into the room.

  "Did you get my message?" she asked.

  "Yes. Thanks. You were really out cold after we swam, and I didn't want to wake you. Molly wanted some ice cream, so we took a walk down the beach."

  She smiled as she ran the towel through her hair. "Sorry I slept through the ice cream."

  "It was pretty good. I'm going to grab a shower."

  She dried her hair while he showered, then left the bathroom, grabbing them some iced tea. She brought them back to the bedroom with her, closing the door behind her.

  He came out of the bathroom and over to her, putting his arms around her.

  "How's your headache?"

  She smiled. "Better."

  "I'm glad. Though I was wondering if you wanted me to rub your head. Or ... any other parts of you that might need rubbing."

  "Oh. In that case, every part of my body hurts."

  He laughed. "You know I'm always happy to put my hands on you. Wherever you want me to."

  "I know. That's one of the things I like best about you."

  "My hands?"

  "Definitely. Along with other parts of you."

  He bent his head to brush his lips over hers. She drew in the fresh scent of him, the taste of him, the way he could melt her with just a simple kiss. She leaned against him and went with the kiss, letting herself slide easily into the passion he always brought out of her.

  He moved her to the bed, raising the back of her dress with his hand, smoothing his hands over her butt, driving up her desire to a frenzy by slipping his fingers inside her panties.

  He laid her on the bed and followed her there, covering her body with his, deepening the kiss, his tongue swiping over hers and drawing her deeper into that hazy, passionate web where she so often lost herself whenever she was with him.

  He pulled up, sliding his hand around the back of her neck to rub the muscles there. There was something about Bash's touch that was both soothing and unnerving, in the best possible way. She wrapped her fingers around his wrist and drew his hand down, past her neck and over her breasts.

  "So these need rubbing?" he asked.

  "Most definitely."

  She drew the straps down on her dress, baring her breasts for him. He rubbed, teased, and sweetly tortured her nipples until she arched her back, begging for his lips, mouth, and tongue to do the same. When he had her a moaning wreck, he pulled the dress over her hips, taking her panties as well.

  He scooted up beside her, kissed her, and at the same time cupped her sex. She moaned against his lips, tangling her fingers in his hair and tugging, letting him know how very much she enjoyed his touch.

  He made her breath catch as he expertly stroked her right to climax. She fell into that blissful, splintering state with abandon, letting go and holding tight to him as she trembled with each delicious sensation.

  He left her only long enough to grab a condom, shuck his clothes, and climb back on the bed. He grabbed her leg and lifted it over his hip, then slid into her, his gaze firmly planted on hers as he moved within her.

  Everything inside of her quivered. When he brushed his thumb across her bottom lip, she sucked it inside her mouth.

  "Christ," he said, thrusting into her. "Do you know what you do to me, Chelsea?"

  She knew what he did to her, what he'd been doing to her for months. And the way he looked at her, like he was baring his soul to her while they were connected in the most intimate of ways, shattered her.

  She was his. She wanted him to be hers, and the agony of it was almost too much to bear. So instead, she kissed him, drawing him down to her, letting passion overtake her, swamping her as he rolled her onto her back and took her over and over again until she called out his name and the two of them climaxed together, leaving her in a state of oblivion. He held her hand as they shook through their orgasms.

  She'd never fallen so hard, or so perfectly, before.

  They laid like that, still entwined, for a while, just settling, stroking each other's skin and kissing each other.

  It was perfect.

  Finally, they got up and went into the bathroom to clean up, and then got dressed.

  "I'm going to go freshen up our iced tea," she said.

  Bash nodded.

  She thought Carter and Molly might be in the living room or kitchen, but they weren't. She didn't see them on the balcony, either, but on her way back down the hall she saw their bedroom door was closed. Maybe they were taking a nap.

  Or something. She smiled and went back in the bedroom. Bash had taken a seat out on the balcony. She went out there and laid their glasses on the table.

  He had put on a pair of shorts and wore no shirt. She couldn't help but take a few seconds to admire his chiseled abs and tanned torso.

  "I'm sorry about earlier," she said.

  He frowned. "What about earlier?"

  "Earlier today, at lunch. I was a bitch. A cranky bitch with a hangover and a headache, and I took it out on you. I apologize."

  "You have nothing to apologize for. I was baiting you about camping. I'm sorry for that."

  She reached out for him and he took her hand. "Thank you. Maybe camping isn't ever going to be my thing. Would that be a problem for you?"

  He looked over at her. "No. Why should
it?"

  She directed her attention over the water. "I don't know. Just ... thinking."

  "Thinking about what?"

  "This and that. Nothing important really."

  That was a lie. She'd been thinking about a lot of things. Like how much fun she'd had with Bash over the past few months. How few of the items he'd ticked off on her list. And how little her list meant to her now.

  Bash had started to mean everything to her.

  She dragged her gaze from the water, putting it on him.

  He was fun, passionate, ridiculously good-looking, and sexy as hell, and he'd been there for her every step of the way over the past few months, never asking for more than she was willing to give.

  She was head over heels in love with him.

  She wanted to tell him. She wanted to tell him right now. The words hovered on her lips, ready to spill, but something held her back.

  Just say it, Chelsea.

  She'd always been fearless, had always spoken her mind.

  Now shouldn't be any different.

  But it was. This was love. This was her heart. It was a big deal.

  "Chelsea."

  She focused on Bash. "Yes?"

  "Something on your mind?"

  Say it.

  She tried, but it just wasn't the right time. Or something.

  "No. Other than thank you again for bringing me here. I've had a great time."

  He grinned. "Me, too."

  She'd talk to him later. Maybe tonight or after they got back home.

  She'd tell him.

  Soon.

  Chapter 34

  Their idyllic vacation had come to an end. Bash had enjoyed the hell out of it, and he hated saying goodbye to South Padre Island. He could have easily spent a week here, but he was glad to have been able to spend at least a few days on the beach.

  They packed up and headed back, convoying again with Carter and Molly, at least until they reached Hope, where they honked and waved goodbye.

  Bash drove to Chelsea's apartment so she could drop off her bags, but for some reason he wasn't ready to say goodbye to her yet.

  He wondered if he'd ever be ready to say goodbye to her. He liked the way things were going with them. He enjoyed spending time with her, liked having her in his life.

  Hell, he loved her. He just didn't know what to do with these feelings. Being in love was something he'd done once, and he'd done it badly. He needed time to sort out his feelings. Make sure of where he stood, where things were going with them. He'd fucked up his relationship--his marriage--with Cathy. He knew better than to do that again. He had to take things slow, be sure he knew what the hell he was doing this time.