The Mag Hags

by Lollie Barr

  Just at that moment, in sauntered Zeb, still wearing the shorts and T-shirt he’d been wearing all day. ‘Is that what you’re wearing? Soigné Nourriture is a very posh restaurant, Zeb,’ said Reanne.

  ‘Well, Reanne,’ said Belle. ‘Your days of posh restaurants are over. You’ll be back to eating burgers from now on.’

  ‘Poo?’ said Reanne, turning to look Adrian.

  ‘Corabelle, what on earth are you talking about?’ Adrian’s dimples had retreated into a scowl.

  ‘Well, Dad, your lovely little bride-to-be here is having an affair!’ said Belle, who couldn’t resist letting her own dimples show at trumping Reanne.

  ‘What?’ said Reanne. ‘What are you talking about?’

  ‘We have proof, Reanne,’ said Zeb sternly. ‘Sorry Dad, but it’s true.’

  ‘Proof?’ said Reanne, the colour draining from her face, her voice rising a couple of octaves. ‘Poo? You can’t believe this. It’s nonsense.’

  ‘Just as ridiculous as you thinking you could get away with having an affair with Sol Stevens. But I had you pegged as a money-grubbing, insincere, self-obsessed, calculating piece of trash from the moment you started manipulating my father into marrying you,’ said Belle, revving into full-throttle aggression. ‘You nearly fooled everyone, even Zeb, with your sweetie, darling, Poo-Poo nonsense. Face it, Reanne, you’re so full of shit you might as well be a portaloo after a rock festival.’

  ‘Corabelle, what on earth has got into you?’ shouted Adrian. ‘I won’t have you speaking like that to my future wife in my house.’

  ‘Okay, Dad,’ said Belle, holding her hands out to calm him down. ‘I don’t want to hurt you but you’ve got to hear this. Are you ready, Zeb?’

  Zeb plugged the MP3 player into the speakers in the library and Reanne and Sol’s conversation played out loud and clear.

  ‘You don’t have to go through with this, Reanne,’ came the voice of a man, the sound of a door slamming shut in the background. ‘Baby, honestly, there are ways out of it, you know.’

  ‘It’s the money that’s the issue.’ That was clearly Reanne. ‘When he does the deal on The Vultron, we’re talking mega, mega bucks. You know, beyond your wildest dreams rich. I’ll have everything I’ve ever wanted. That’s got to make me question my decision to marry him.’

  ‘Whatever your decision. You’ve always got me. No matter what happens, we’ll get through this together,’ said Sol. ‘Now come over here, I think you need a really big hug.’

  ‘Thanks, baby. You’ve always had the ability to calm me down. I feel so much better now.’

  ‘Where did you get that?’ said Reanne, looking dismayed, as the rest of the conversation played out. ‘I can’t believe you’ve been bugging me.’

  ‘Just as well,’ said Belle. ‘Otherwise you might just have got away with it.’

  ‘Got away with what exactly, Corabelle?’ said Reanne. She sounded angry, and there was something else in her voice too, something Belle didn’t want to hear – she sounded genuinely hurt.

  ‘Stealing my dad’s money and then running off to marry Sol Stevens,’ said Belle, who knew that she had this nasty scheming bovine on the ropes.

  ‘I wouldn’t marry Sol if he was the last man on earth,’ said Reanne. ‘We went out for five years and didn’t get married, that’s proof enough. I adore him but he’s as thick as a door.’

  ‘Speaking of which,’ said Belle. ‘Dad, shouldn’t you be showing Reanne the door?’

  ‘Corabelle, I know Reanne is friends with Sol Stevens,’ said Adrian. ‘She’s been training with him for years, even after they broke up.’

  ‘Dad, don’t do this! She’s always around his house,’ said Belle, starting to panic. Why wasn’t her father taking this seriously? ‘Listen to what she said about marrying you for your money. Don’t be a fool!’

  ‘No, Belle, you listen to what she said,’ said her dad fiercely. ‘Reanne and I have already spoken about this. She was questioning why she was marrying me. I’m an older guy with a lot of money. She didn’t want to marry me if it was just because I was rich, like everyone has been implying. She had to really ask herself why she loves me. We talked it through last week. We even went to couples counselling. Sol and Reanne are friends. He’s been trying to convince her that we’re made for each other.’

  ‘I love your dad.’ Reanne was crying now, and Belle had started to feel as though she was starring in the wrong movie. Reanne looked adoringly at Adrian, the tears rolling down her face.

  ‘I honestly do love him,’ Reanne was saying, ‘and there’s a hundred reasons why. He’s kind, considerate, thoughtful, supportive, and hysterically funny. Success and money are way down the list. We have a connection Belle, a real connection. Just because he’s older doesn’t mean a thing. Love doesn’t discriminate – trust me, you can fall for the unlikeliest of people. You wait, you’ll see.’

  Belle looked to Zeb for help but he was standing with his head hung in shame.

  ‘I don’t buy all this love bullshit,’ said Belle, choking on her own tears. ‘You’ve been a cow to me since you turned up in my dad’s life. My friends even overheard you saying you wanted to pack me off to boarding school!’

  ‘I was at the end of my tether. It was supposed to be a joke, and as if your father would agree to that anyway, Belle, he loves you,’ said Reanne. ‘I have tried with you. Tried to tell you all about myself, so you could get to know me, because you never volunteer any information about yourself. I’ve asked you to come shopping, out to lunches and dinners. I even asked you to be a bridesmaid, even though I knew you hated my guts! But every response I’ve had from you has been negative. I’ve bent over backwards inviting all of your friends to our wedding. I don’t know what else I can do to show you that I’m not the wicked stepmother you seem to think I am.’

  Belle felt like her legs had been swept from under her. Her brain tried to make sense of what was going on. Could she have got Reanne so wrong? Like she had got Cat, Wanda, Belle and Maggie wrong? Could her perception of who people really were be so out of kilter?

  ‘Corabelle, darling,’ said Adrian gently, as if he was talking to a toddler who had fallen over and hurt themselves. ‘Reanne and I love each other. Really. She even offered to sign a pre-nuptial agreement to say that if we ever separated she’d walk away with nothing.’ He walked over and folded Belle in his arms; she collapsed against him, sobbing.

  ‘I love your dad and one day I hope you’ll realise that and we can at least be friends,’ said Reanne to Zeb and Belle. ‘I want to be there for you. It must be hard not having a mum, especially when you’re teenagers. I know I’ll never be your mother but I can be someone you can turn to. Honestly, once you get to know me I’m really quite a nice person. Just give me a chance …’

  Belle looked at Reanne as though she was seeing her for the first time. Instead of the bimbo bikini blonde with all the looks but the personality of a reality TV show contestant, she saw a sweet face with soft blue eyes, smiling at her despite the fact she had been accused of having an affair, called a piece of trash and compared to a portaloo.

  ‘I’ll try,’ said Belle, through her tears, clinging to her daddy as though she really was a toddler. At the time, it was the best she could do.

  The next morning Baywood was bathed in a warm golden glow that indicated the weather for the wedding that evening was going to be perfect. Teams of people scurried about busily; a van that read Baywood Boozarama was unloading cartons of French champagne; staff from Lunched Out, Baywood’s most exclusive caterer, were setting up in the marquee; and florists with armfuls of huge exotic blooms raced around like walking vases.

  Heidi High, who DJ’d at Blissed, the Under-18 night at Loud nightclub, was struggling with a box of records and a turntable into the grand Indian marquee, in its shades of exotic oranges, maroons and blues. An electrician risked life and limb covering the house and the marquee in thousands of streams of fairy lights so the mansion would be lit up like a beacon on the t
op of the hill.

  Reanne and Belle were in the master bedroom having their hair done by Mel Hospock, who was creating some absolutely gorgeous up-dos, while Cassie Marie from the salon did the make-up. Yesterday, the thought that Belle and Reanne could be sitting together happily had been preposterous; but it had turned out that dinner at Soigné Nourriture was fantastic, with Adrian, Reanne, Zeb and Belle getting on amazingly well, all things considered. Reanne hadn’t held the snooping and stream of insults against Belle; and once Belle gave Reanne a chance, she realised that she had a wicked sense of humour.

  As they were leaving the restaurant, Reanne had asked Belle if she wanted to be part of the bridal party after all. She said they could go down to Glitz and find something gorgeous for her to wear, which made Belle burst into tears yet again. First thing that morning they had popped into Glitz and found a long, royal-blue satin dress that kind of matched the designer blue silk gown of Reanne’s matron of honour, Sheri Hesselbeck. Reanne said that she wasn’t too bothered about everything being perfect because life isn’t like that and you always had to be flexible and plan for contingencies.

  Just as the sun was starting to set, Adrian and Reanne were married under the old oak tree in the middle of the garden – where Belle and Zeb had scattered their mum’s ashes six years before – in front of one hundred and twelve guests, including Maggie, Mand, Wanda, Cat and Debs, none of whom could quite believe that the wedding wasn’t cancelled and that their mate Corabelle was actually standing next to Reanne as her bridesmaid.

  After a lavish supper of freshly shucked oysters, canapés, and barramundi with exotic salads and sweet potatoes, followed by the most indulgent wedding cake, with four layers of quadruple chocolate tiers (Reanne turned out to have an incredible sweet tooth, despite being so skinny), Heidi High cranked up the music and everyone hit the dance floor. Mand ended up rocking out with Zeb, while Wanda seemed to be spending a lot of time with Billy Prince, who had come with his dad when his mum got sick. By the end of the night, the girls had both secured dates to the formal.

  The wedding party ended at midnight when Reanne tossed her bouquet. It was caught by Mel Hospock, although some of the other women complained that she had elbowed them in the ribs in the scuffle. Mel took it as a sign that her romantic drought since being dumped by Kane the stripper was coming to an end.

  When Reanne and Adrian left in the Rolls to go to a tropical island hideaway for a two-week honeymoon, Belle felt sad, but her new girlfriends all assured her that they wouldn’t let her get lonely even for a second. And that was a very, very, good feeling.

  Two weeks later, once all of the final exams were out of the way, the whole school was in holiday mode. The school year was over and the summer holidays stretched out before them like a bikini babe on a beach towel.

  Year 10 students gathered in the school auditorium to find out who had won the magazine competition. There had been much conjecture over the past two weeks who would win: Skater Boi (obviously about skating – skate-board, rollerblading, in-line skating, ice-skating, speed skating, even roller derby) was apparently rad, according to those who’d seen it. Bo Selecta – the music magazine put together by Mo Marks, Hannah House, Josephine Kennedy, Phoebe Rose, and Lana McShane – was supposedly too cool for school. You Beauty by Bridget O’Shea, Cath Clarkson, Joanne Ruby, Emma Avalon and Jamie Kelly had beautiful pictures and lots of great tips, while How To Live Ethically, by Matty Wing, Dale Smart, Ash Holdsworth, Laire Kennedy and Mohammed El Toro was the most political of the magazines, showing young people didn’t just think about trivial stuff – which was why everybody thought that they were the favourites to win.

  Wanda, Mand, Maggie, Cat and Belle had been really secretive about their magazine and had everybody guessing what it was about. The rumour was that they had been so incredibly horrendous to each other that their magazine was the biggest piece of trash ever; but the truth was, that honour went to So What – Who Cares by Ian Rowles, Walter Reddy, Al Conway, Col Shiles and Paul Drummond, who hated each other’s guts to such a degree that they didn’t care if they passed or failed.

  Before the announcement, the atmosphere inside the auditorium was just like seconds before a rock band hits the stage at a major concert. You could feel the tension in the air as Taffy made his way onto the stage, followed by Elvira Kaymer and Kira Bunting, the daughter in Bunting, Bunting, Bunting & Daughter, who had printed a thousand copies of the winning magazine, which were sitting by the exit sign in brown cardboard boxes, ready for distribution.

  ‘Settle down, settle down,’ said McTavish into the microphone, which let out a deafening high-pitched squeal. ‘Students of Year 10, may I just say that we’ve been overwhelmed by the professionalism, creativity and the amount of hard work and effort that have gone into creating your magazines, all of which are as unique and individual as you are. Of course, there can only be one winning team who will see their work distributed around our wonderful town … But to make that announcement, I would ask Elvira Kaymer to the stage.’

  There was a smattering of applause as Elvira stood at the podium in front of the microphone. ‘I would like to reiterate what Mr McTavish has already said. The standard was amazing,’ she said. ‘There were several magazines which captured the imaginations of the judging panel, but one stood out for its sheer ingenuity and a professionalism that, quite frankly, startled me. The features were well written and spoke directly to the reader, almost like a trusted friend. The pictures and design showed such a depth of creativity that we almost had to check whether they had hired a professional team to do it! But more so, this magazine reflected the girls who created it.’

  There was a gasp in the audience. All of the boys shook their heads in disgust. Bloody girls. They were topping all of the classes and now they were going to win the magazine competition. Maggie, Mand, Wanda, Belle and Cat all sat together in a row. They looked at each other, not daring to breathe, as Elvira tapped the microphone, setting off another dose of feedback, which had all the students holding their ears.

  ‘Oops, sorry about that,’ said Elvira. ‘What the judges liked about this magazine was that it tackled the hard issues but also was funny, passionate and displayed every one of the girls’ creative pursuits, whether it was in the writing or the design. It featured students’ fashion, thoughts, ideals and beliefs. Even a celebrity interview with the hottest star in town …’

  The girls’ mouth hung agape as they looked at each other – surely nobody else could have scored a celebrity interview with the hottest star in town. Could they?

  ‘And the winner is … The Mag Hag,’ said Elvira, brandishing a full-colour magazine in her hand and waving it about. ‘Wanda Hong, Maggie Jones, Amanda Hospock, Caitlyn Dean and Corabelle Askew, would you please make your way to the stage.’

  The girls erupted with absolute joy. How did they feel? Well, it was like when you see a reporter interviewing someone who has just won the lottery or a sportsperson after winning a really important final and they’re asked, ‘How do you feel?’ The person tries to explain it but because the feeling is so new and wonderful and exciting and unexplainable, they can’t find the words. It was like that for the girls, who were jumping up and down and hugging each other, squealing like puppies.

  ‘Come on, girls, we haven’t got all year,’ laughed McTavish. ‘Some of us have got a formal to attend tonight.’

  The girls felt the jealous eyes of the entire form bore into their backs as they made their way to the podium. ‘Would one of you like to say a few words? Maggie, come on, you’re the editor,’ said Elvira.

  Maggie looked horrified; while she could cope with her face being on the magazine cover, the thought of speaking to the entire form, most of who were probably wondering who the hell she was, filled her with absolute terror. She took a deep breath, told herself that if she could edit a magazine she could do anything, and then stepped up to the microphone.

  ‘Okay,’ she said hesitantly. ‘I don’t know if your group had the s
ame reaction when you were told that you had to work together. We were horrified and even tried to get Ms Marrow to put us into other groups. But over the past term we have learned so much about each other by working together, and in the process we realised, despite being different, we all share the same emotions deep down. I would like to thank my friends – Cat, Wanda, Belle and Mand – who have worked so hard and for so many hours. I hope that every group came away with what we did. Real friendships and new found respect for each other as workmates, and as people. Thank you.’

  The girls all hugged one another on the stage and were given a copy of their magazine, which looked so professional, you could have gone into Baywood News-agency and bought it (well, you could have but it was free). The rest of the students in the auditorium clapped and whistled, even if they felt disappointed that their hard work wasn’t going to be read all over town. The girls walked off the stage as Ms Marrow opened the doors and handed out copies of The Mag Hag to the students.

  The girls accepted congratulations from all of their mates, even Kylie Mannigan, who couldn’t believe that the Mag Hags hadn’t told on her for ruining Belle’s computer, came over to say well done. Con Selwicki came over to ask who the hot chick on the cover was, without ever realising that it was Maggie.

  Sitting in the front row of the auditorium, the girls pored over their magazine. Seeing it like that, all glossy and shiny, full of ads for local businesses, felt surreal.

  ‘Man!’ said Mand, who still couldn’t quite believe she was seeing her thoughts in print. I might just change the world after all, she thought to herself. ‘We won, we actually pulled it off without killing each other.’

  ‘Yeah that’s probably the most most amazing thing of all,’ said Cat laughing, who couldn’t help scrutinising her body in the Future Formal spread, despite what she had learned.