Auctioned to Him 9_Wait

by Charlotte Byrd

  “Aiden’s going to be okay,” I say, taking his hand. “You’re going to be okay, right?”

  I want her to put her arm around me. I want her to believe in this, too. It’s more true if more people believe in something, right?

  “With doctors like these, I’m not so sure,” Arlene says.

  The next hour passes at a snail’s pace. I look at the clock over and over, but it doesn’t do much. Brie and I talk about nonsense. News, nothing political, or controversial. Gossip. The weather. I hope that if we chitchat long enough, one of them will finally get the message. Okay, c’mon, it’s time for you and Dean to leave, I keep saying silently to myself.

  “So, what time will you be coming back tomorrow?” Arlene asks without looking up from her magazine.

  “Wait, what?” My heart sinks.

  “Tomorrow? You’re coming back tomorrow, right?”

  “Yes, I’ll be here tomorrow. But I’m staying tonight.”

  “Oh, that won’t be necessary,” she says dismissively.

  I stare at her, dumfounded. “I know it’s not necessary. But it’s something that I want to do. I want to be here for Aiden.”

  “Honey, you are pregnant. You need a good night’s rest. He’ll be here tomorrow. Besides, I’ll stay with him.”

  Her words are sweet and saccharine just like they were when we first met, but it’s all bullshit. It’s all a facade.

  “I’d really like to stay,” I say decisively. Two can play at this game. I want to be here for Aiden and she will not drive me away.

  “Ellie, please. I haven’t seen my son for a long time. I need to be alone with him,” she says. I’m taken aback by the frankness. I don’t know if it’s another tactic or the truth. Either way, I don’t really have much of a choice. I feel like I have to go. At least, for tonight.

  Chapter 5 - Ellie

  When I go home…

  "It’s going to be okay, honey,” Brie says as we walk out of the hospital into an early spring snowstorm. She doesn’t know that, but I play along. It’s exactly the kind of thing that I need to hear right now. I don’t want to take a cab or go into the subway. It’s about a half an hour walk from the hospital, but the fresh air feels nice. Even if it is bone-chilling. As we walk, I lean against Brie and let her hold me up.

  “I don’t want to go inside,” I say when we turn onto my street. I hadn’t realized how much I was dreading going up there until this very moment.

  “It’s going to be okay,” Brie says, squeezing my shoulders.

  I shake my head. Tears roll down my face.

  “Do you want to go get a hotel?”

  “Yes,” I mumble. “No.”

  She waits for me to make a decision.

  “Okay, let’s go in,” I finally say.

  “Are you sure?”

  “No, but it’s now or never.”

  ***

  Walking inside, I expect to feel him here again. His anger. My fear. I expect to feel plunging that pen into his neck. Red blood running down my arm. I’m surprised when I don’t. After the cops took down the crime scene tape and collected all of their evidence, Brie ordered a crime scene cleanup crew to come and make everything normal again. They did a good job. It’s so clean now, you can practically eat off the floor. Too clean, actually. It was never like this when Caroline and I were here. I glance over at Caroline’s door. She isn’t here anymore either. Tears run down my cheeks as Brie walks me to my room and undoes the covers.

  “You need to sleep.”

  My eyes close before Brie leaves the room.

  He’s here again. I can smell the sweetness of his breath. I can feel his hatred for me. His jealousy of Aiden. He’s standing over me. You won’t get away this time. This time, you’re going to pay. I’m going to take what’s mine. You belong to me. Aiden is dead. I killed him. And now you will be mine forever.

  The wind gets knocked out of my chest. I open my eyes gasping for breath. My head is swimming. I’m drenched in cold sweat. I slowly rise to my feet and stumble to the bathroom. I don’t make it to the toilet. I throw up in the sink and then collapse onto the floor.

  I don’t know how much time has passed. My body is shaking from the cold. I’m lying on the tile floor. My hair is wet and it’s sticking to the floor. I try to get up, but my head feels heavy. Impossible to move. The closest I get is to roll over to my side. No, I can’t. I close my eyes again and drift away.

  “Are you okay? Ellie?” Someone is shaking me. My eyelids are pushing down on me. I’m not strong enough to open them.

  “Ellie!” She shakes me.

  “Brie…what are you doing?” I mumble. Every muscle in my body is stiff. I’m a Tin Man who needs to oil his joints.

  “I got sick during the night,” I say. “And then…I fell asleep?”

  “Oh my God, I thought something had happened,” she gasps. Well, something did technically happen. I climb to my feet and try to gather my thoughts. That was not the most pleasant night, to say the least.

  Brie helps me to the living room and makes me some pancakes. I smother mine in maple syrup and dig in wholeheartedly. The carbs and the sugar hardly matter now.

  Looking around, I get the feel of the place. It looks like my old place. Cleaner, yes. But it’s not really that same place at all. There’s no Caroline in the room next to mine. Now, there’s Brie. An unexpected, but a much welcome guest. And here at the kitchen island, I feel him. This is where he attacked me. This is where I killed him. Will anything be the same again?

  ***

  Unsure as to what to do before heading to the hospital to see Aiden again, I go back to my room and take out my laptop. My writing is my trusty old friend. If I’m stressed, afraid, or unsure, I sit at my computer and bury myself in a story. Somehow other people’s problems make my own seem so much less important. Or maybe they just take me away from them for a little bit. We all need an escape, right?

  I open the latest story that I’ve been working on. Unlike my other work, this isn’t fiction. It’s the truth, only I’m selling it as fiction because I’m not sure anyone would believe me if they knew the truth. In this story, Caroline is still alive. It’s nice to visit with her again. I can almost feel her presence.

  After all is said and done, we are nothing but dust in the wind. And stories.

  Caroline is gone, but she’s with me. Her life is with me. And as long as I can write down her story, she will continue to be with me.

  I know for a fact that’s why people read my books. They escape into them. They take them away from their everyday problems. And for that, I’m grateful.

  The doorbell rings. Brie answers and then comes and knocks on my door.

  “There’s a package here for you.”

  “I’ll be right there.” I don’t take off my earphones as I continue to frantically type. When words are flowing, I don’t dare interrupt. I have to see where they take me. I’m the writer of the story, but I’m on a journey of discovery as much as the reader. Most of the time, I don’t have a plan. And even if I do, it’s only in the beginning. Then I veer off course and that’s where most of the exciting parts of the story come from.

  “What’s up?”

  “This came for you.”

  I pick up the small gray package and turn it around. No return address. No description on the top. Hmm, odd. I dig into it, but it’s a hard plastic that doesn’t give much. After a few moments, I give up and grab a pair of scissors from the drawer.

  “Oh my God,” I whisper, opening the small black box inside the envelope.

  “What is it?”

  I take them out and lay them carefully on my palm. Brie and I both stare at the delicate drop earrings with a two-tone circle at the bottom. They are strong and rigid in design. The circle at the end is divided into two halves - marble and gold.

  The box comes with a little note.

  These made me think of you. I hope you like them.

  Love forever,

  Aiden

  My heart sk
ips a beat. Tears start to run down my cheeks.

  “He must’ve ordered you these before he…” Brie says, her voice dropping off.

  I nod and caress the earrings with my fingers. I love them, Aiden. They are perfect. Suddenly, I miss Aiden so much, I double over in pain.

  “I need to see him.”

  Chapter 6 - Aiden

  When I’m lying here….

  They don’t think I can hear them, but I can. Arguing. Fighting. Just like they did when I was growing up. Why they ever got married in the first place, I have no idea. Were they like this before I was born? Or did I make them into these people?

  Their voices low, but loud. They are whispering, but they might as well be talking. I can only make out some of the things that they’re saying.

  “Your fault.”

  “Bitch.”

  “Drunk.”

  I’m back to being nine years old, sitting in my room, listening to my parents fight downstairs. They don’t think their voices have the ability to carry upstairs. I never say anything. It’s easier for me to pretend that I can’t hear. When I get my first set of headphones, I turn the sound up so loud, I actually don’t hear them. From then on, I associate loud music with my parents fighting. That doesn’t make going to concerts very fun.

  Why are they even here? Who invited them? Who told them? I didn’t tell Ellie about them on purpose. I wanted to pretend that they didn’t exist. I wanted to pretend that I was this solid, adult man with no baggage. But none of us grow up without baggage, do we? Perhaps, the process of growing and maturing is the process of forgiving your parents for what they’ve done. Forgiving, but not forgetting. None of us forget. We all aim to become better versions of ourselves with our own kids. Was that my parents aim as well?

  All of my grandparents died when I was quite young. I don’t have any siblings; just these two. They never get tired of saying that they have stayed together all those years before the divorce for me. Well, who the hell asked them to?

  My thoughts drift to my own child. Will I come out of this intact enough to be the father that he or she will need? Will Ellie and I ever be a real family? My hatred for Blake has subsided to the recesses of my mind. I do not spend any more of my energy on him. It’s not worth it. He did what he did. He got me into this predicament. I don’t have any control over the past. All I can do is learn to live with it right now. In the present.

  The monitors beep somewhere in the background, but not loud enough to drown out their voices. Ellie’s not here now. I can’t sense her sweet presence. All I can do is hope that she will come back soon. I need her. I crave her. I don’t know where I would be without her.

  Dean shuffles his feet as he walks. Arlene stomps her high heels. She uses her fingers to display aggression; he cowers in a corner in return. What have they done to each other over the years? Will Ellie and I ever be like them? No, no, no. Ellie and I are in love. Ellie is my soulmate and I hope that I am hers. We get each other. We are never cruel or hateful. If I ever feel like I’m becoming my parents…I’m going to put an end to it. My child will never hear an ugly word. My child will never hear me disrespect their mother. My child will feel only love coming from me. Children deserve that. It’s not something that I ever had, and it’s something that I will certainly give my child if I get the chance.

  Beep.

  Beep.

  Beep.

  “What are you doing? Stop that.”

  “You knew about this last night, you wino. Why don’t you drink a little less so you can be here a little more for your child?”

  “Fuck you!”

  “Fuck you!”

  “Please, please, Mr. and Mrs. Black. You have to stop fighting. This is having an effect on your son.”

  “Oh, c’mon. He’s a vegetable, can’t you see that? He’s not here! You all did this to him!”

  “Mrs. Black, I’m going to have to ask you to leave.”

  “I don’t care. I’ve signed the paperwork. I’m taking him to a place where he can get actual help.”

  “Mrs. Black, please. He’s in no condition to be moved. Is his fiancée okay with this?”

  “I don’t care. Ellie’s got no say in this. She’s not his wife. She’s a nobody.”

  Beep.

  Beep.

  Beep.

  Chapter 7 - Ellie

  When I go back to the hospital…

  I rub my new earrings between my fingers as I sit in the back of a cab. Brie is staring out of the window with a pensive look on her face.

  “Are you okay?” She turns to me and asks.

  “Yeah.” I nod. “Just hope that something is different today.”

  I run my fingertips over the soft metal at the end of the earring, and suddenly I feel close to him. It’s like he’s almost right here next to me. My heart skips a beat. I can’t wait to see him. To take his hand in mine. To kiss his palms and thank him. Mainly, to tell him that I’m going to be here for him no matter what.

  “It’s going to be okay,” Brie mumbles. I narrow my eyes. Something doesn’t feel right.

  “What’s wrong?” I ask.

  She shrugs. “Nothing.”

  “What?”

  “I just have a bad feeling about something. I don’t want to worry you.”

  “About Aiden?”

  “Yes.”

  “Brie…” I plead. Take it back. Why are you telling me this?

  “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said anything. It’s not my place.”

  “No, you shouldn’t have. I’m worried enough.”

  “I know you are,” she mumbles.

  The cab can’t get to the hospital fast enough. While Brie pays, I run inside and speed over to his room. The anticipation that I had felt earlier somehow morphed into full blown anxiety in a matter of minutes. Brie’s premonition has taken over my mind. What if she’s right? What if something happened last night? How could I have been so stupid? Why did I leave him alone in that room with his horrible parents?

  I run up to the nurses’ station on his floor. They are laughing and chatting happily, holding cups of coffee. Then they see me. Their faces drop. My heart sinks.

  “What? What happened?” I demand. I run to his room.

  “Ellie, please.” I hear them behind me.

  When I burst through the doors, I see nothing but an empty bed. It has been cleaned. The sheets are made. Perfect hospital corners. It’s waiting for its next patient.

  “What’s going on? Where’s Aiden?” My heart seizes up. I can’t breathe. I start to see little dots all around my peripheral vision.

  “Ellie, please, calm down,” one of the nurses says, putting her hand around my shoulder. I knock it off.

  “Where’s Aiden?!” I scream.

  “He’s…” the nurse starts to say. I get dizzy. I try to sit down, but I miss the chair behind me and land straight on the cold linoleum floor.

  “Oh my God! Ellie!” Brie runs over and helps me up. Somehow the fall knocks me out of this sense of helplessness. The room is no longer closing in on me. I take a few deep breaths and look at the nurse whose name I can’t remember.

  “Tell me,” I say, preparing myself for the worst.

  “His parents took him to a hospital in Boston.”

  I hear her words in my head, but I don’t really process them. What? Why? Who the hell gave them that right?

  “His mom made the decision last night. She was convinced that the doctors here don’t know what they're doing.”

  “I thought that they were just going to get someone to come in for a second opinion,” I say. Dr. Briggs comes into the room with a crestfallen expression on her face. She looks defeated.

  “Dr. Briggs, what’s going on?”

  Unfortunately, she doesn’t have much more to fill me in on. She repeats pretty much the same thing that the nurse has told me; instead of getting a second opinion and flying that doctor here, she decided to take him to a hospital in Boston.

  “Is it a good hospital at le
ast?” I ask.

  “Yes, it is. But it’s the movement that’s the problem. They did hire a medical helicopter, but we don’t really know what kind of damage moving him in such a precarious condition will have. None of us recommended it.”

  I shake my head.

  “Where is he?”

  “Unfortunately, I can’t really tell you that,” Dr. Briggs says.

  “What?”

  “You are not technically a relative. And Mrs. Black did not give us consent to share that information with anyone.”

  “I’m his fiancée! I’m the mother of his child.”

  “I know, Ellie. I’m so sorry,” Dr. Briggs says.

  “What do you want me to do? I have to see him. You’re just not going to tell me?”

  “Maybe you can contact Mrs. Black directly and ask her. I’m sure she won’t mind telling you.”

  “If she didn’t authorize me and took him in the middle of the night, then I’m pretty sure that she will.”

  “I’m sorry, Ellie, but I could lose my license over this. I really can’t tell you. Medical records are confidential.”

  “Fuck you!” I say and storm out of the room. A dull pulsating pain runs through the hand that Blake slammed against the kitchen table. It’s healing well, but anytime I get upset, the pain acts up.

  “I’m going to kill her,” I say, walking back and forth in front of the nurses’ station. “I’m actually going to kill her.”

  Brie tries to calm me down. She puts her arm around me, but I just shrug her off. I’m fuming.

  “Who the hell does she think she is? I mean, what gives her the right to barge in on our life and take over? Aiden hasn’t spoken to her in who knows how long. He barely even mentioned her to me. And now that he’s ill and completely immobile, she comes in and takes over? What the hell?”

  “That really sucks, Ellie. I’m so, so sorry.”