Where are you? Brie texts me.
I text her with directions to the room and return my attention to Aiden. It feels odd to just sit here and stare at him, so I decide that the only way to make this feel normal is to just talk to him just like I would if he could hear me.
Chapter 11 - Aiden
When she speaks to me…
She’s here. She’s here and holding my hand. Kissing me on the lips! Oh my God, what are you doing to me, honey? Wake me up. Bring me back to life.
“Okay, Aiden. I have a bone to pick with you,” Ellie says. “Thanks a lot for not introducing me to your mother.”
I hope you’re being sarcastic, Ellie, I say. She can’t hear me. I can’t reach her. But that doesn’t mean that I can’t talk to her just as she is talking to me.
“Meeting your mom under these circumstances was not the most pleasant thing in the world, let me tell you. On the other hand, I’m not sure if it would’ve been much better if I had met her earlier. She’s just sort of unpleasant, you know? No offense.”
Oh, none taken. My mom’s got her issues. She’s a little high strung and she likes things the way she likes them.
“And what is up with her and your dad?”
Did they fight in front of you? They’ve fought plenty out here.
“They’re divorced, right? I mean, what’s with all of that tension if they are already divorced?”
I have no idea. I have the feeling that if someone could answer that question, they’ll have the answers to all the questions in the universe.
“I don’t mean to just complain about your parents though,” Ellie says. “It’s just that your mom had you transferred here without even telling me.”
As I lay here, with my eyes closed, Ellie tells me everything that happened over the last few days. She tells me about how she met my mother, my father. About the tension between them. About my mom taking it upon herself to transfer me to another city against the doctors’ advice. Finally, she tells me what she had to do to find me. How close she got and how disappointed she was when it didn’t work out.
“I really thought that I may not be able to find you,” she whispers. “But that’s just…unthinkable.”
“I missed you very much, Aiden.”
I’ve missed you, too, I say silently.
“I just want you to know that I’m not going anywhere. I’m going to be here for as long as you are here. I’m going to wait for you to wake up however long it takes.”
I love you, Ellie. I’m here. Even if you can’t hear me. I know you know that I’m here. Please wait for me. I’m going to come back to you. Soon.
I’m not really here, of course. I am and I’m not. The doctors keep telling Ellie and my parents that I’m not really here. I can’t hear them. I can’t see them. I can’t feel them. Technically, my body is alive. My brain is functioning. The beeping EEG machine is monitoring my brain waves and making sure that it’s in a certain pattern. Patients with brain injuries who are in a coma all have similar patterns. If the pattern is there, then they are comfortable that I am in a drug-induced coma. The point of this is to protect my brain.
“But what does his brain need protecting from?” Ellie asks.
“After a brain injury, the metabolism of the brain has been significantly altered,” someone, presumably a doctor, says. “There may be areas that do not have adequate blood flow. The point of the coma is to reduce the amount of energy that those parts of the brain need. This will allow the brain to heal and the swelling to go down.”
I’m not supposed to know any of this. I don’t really hear it. But I know it. I feel it. I’m here. Not exactly alive the way that Ellie is, but alive nevertheless. Stay with me, Ellie. Stay with me until I get through this.
Chapter 12 - Ellie
When he comes back…
The doctors are going to take him out of the coma. I sit by his side, watching the snow flurries fall outside the window. Everything turns white and gray, without a speck of light. I think back to our time in the Caribbean and how everything there was bursting with all of the colors of the rainbow. Bright pinks. Deep yellows. The turquoise waters that seemed like they came from another world altogether.
“We’re going to go back there, honey,” I whisper. “I’ve been thinking. And that’s where I want to get married. I want to walk along the soft white sand barefoot. I want to drink brightly colored drinks with little umbrellas in them. I want to dance with you under a million stars. You just have to get better and we will go back there. You’ll see.”
I look at his face. Expressionless as if he were made of glass. I wait for him to squeeze my hand, but nothing happens. He hasn’t had what the doctors called an involuntary response for a few days now.
“Come back to me,” I say. “Come back.”
Brie and the nurses come in a few minutes later. They are going to take him to another room where they will do the procedure. They’ve talked to all of us about this already. They need to do the procedure and they need to be prepared in case something goes wrong.
“How often does something go wrong?” I ask.
“Occasionally.”
What a non-answer. I resist the temptation to roll my eyes.
“These are the best doctors,” Arlene reassures me. “If they can’t do it, then no one can.”
I nod as if I agree. Personally, I don’t see a significant improvement. At least, Dr. Briggs and her team checked in on me every day. Came in with updates. These doctors barely make an appearance. Still, Arlene is certain that they are better just because she found them. I don’t have much of a position to argue from, so I avoid the discussion altogether.
Brie and I wait outside with Arlene and Dean during the procedure. Arlene and Dean sit in adjacent chairs, looking nervous. I don’t know why this is a surprise to me. They’ve only acted in their own self-interest this whole time, hardly paying any attention to Aiden at all. And now, looking over at them, I feel sorry for them. There’s a heaviness on their shoulders. If they aren’t praying, they are hoping. Just as I’m about to reach out to them and say something, the nurse calls us inside.
“Everything went well. He should be waking up now,” she says. I spring to my feet and burst through the door. I don’t know what I’m expecting to see, but I just see him lying there.
“He’s still…asleep,” I say, taking his hand. “Aiden?”
“It may take him a few minutes. Or some time. It’s different for every patient.”
“And then…he will be okay?” Arlene asks.
“We will have to see how much of his brain function will come back.”
My heartbeat skips around frantically as we wait. My hand shakes holding his, but I don’t dare let go.
“Come back, Aiden. Come back,” I whisper over and over.
Come back! I yell inside my head. Please come back!
Time moves like molasses. Seconds become minutes and then I lose track altogether. I don’t know how long this is supposed to take, but I just wait, staring at his blank face.
“Please, please, please,” Arlene says, taking his other hand and pulling him out of my fingers.
“Please, don’t shake him,” I say.
“I’m not!”
“Yes, you are,” I insist. Our agitation and anxiety over the situation is finally spilling out and onto each other. Intellectually, I know that this is going on, but emotionally I cannot stop it.
“Ellie, look,” Brie whispers. I look over. Aiden is slowly opening his eyes. Oh my God. The whole world stops all of a sudden. No one says a word. His eyelids open cautiously and then squint at the bright lights. He licks his lips.
“Aiden? Aiden?” I ask. Arlene pulls on his other arm, trying to move his face toward hers. I want to push her away, but I try to compose myself. This moment is about him.
“Come back to me, Aiden,” I whisper.
“Ellie,” he says a few moments later. He’s looking right at me. “You’re here.”
“Yes, yes,
of course, I’m here.”
“I love you,” he whispers.
“I love you, too.” Tears stream down my face. I can’t stop any of them even if I wanted to.
Chapter 13 - Aiden
When I return…
I feel her there before I open my eyes. I smell her hair. I inhale her sweetness. There’s a distinct smell of lavender in the air. Yet, we are not outside. Past Ellie’s wide-set eyes and perfectly shaped lips, there’s nothing but white. An oppressive color of white, which dominates rather than comforts.
She lifts up my hand and kisses me. I feel the tingling sensation spread through my whole body.
“Ellie,” I say. My voice is rough and tired. It cracks in part as I repeat her name over and over. I don’t expect her to respond. I’ve said her name a thousand times before to no avail. Except this time, she looks up at me with tears in her eyes. They start rolling down her cheeks as she presses my hands tightly in her palms.
“Oh my God, you can hear me,” I say. Not only that, but I can also hear myself.
“Of course, I can.”
I lean back in my bed and take a look around. Quickly, everything in the room comes into focus. The television on the wall. The whiteboard with some doctors’ scribbles. The curtain for privacy even though it’s a private room. My dad standing awkwardly at the foot of the hospital bed. The monitors next to me, beeping incessantly. My mother staring at me from the other side of the room. Is that a smile on her face? I dart my eyes back to Ellie.
“How do you feel?”
“I’m…okay.”
“Really?”
“Yeah, I feel fine. What’s going on?”
Ellie tells me. I’ve been in a coma. Eight days. It was medically induced after I suffered a bad blow to the head. By Blake. Who else.
“Do you remember what happened with Blake?” Ellie asks.
“Yes, he cornered me on the street. But I just remember talking to him. Nothing else.”
“You don’t remember him attacking you. The fight?” My mom pipes in.
“No, I don’t.”
Two doctors come in to see me. The fact that I remember what I do is a big surprise, especially to them. They warn me that I still need to take things easy even if I feel like I’m okay.
“It sort of feels like I’ve been taking things easy for way too long already,” I mumble. “But okay.”
The doctors instruct everyone to leave to give me some time to rest. Everyone except Ellie. My dad seems to be relieved by this, but Mom is visibly upset. Still, it’s doctors’ orders and there isn’t much she can do about it.
“I’ll see you first thing tomorrow morning,” she says.
“Well, maybe not first thing,” I say.
After Ellie bids her sister goodbye, we are all alone. I look out of the window. Twilight has fallen and flurries are gathering.
“There’s a big storm coming,” Ellie says.
“Can you turn down the lights a bit?”
She dims the lights and sits in the chair next to me. Suddenly, the room is bathed in candlelight.
“I love you, Ellie.”
“I love you, too.”
“Thank you for being here. Not just now, but throughout this whole time.”
“You knew that I was here?”
“Yeah. I don’t know how, but I just felt you, I guess. Your presence. Some of the times, I actually heard you talk to me. And I talked back.”
She nods. More tears come. She chokes up wiping them.
“Will you do me a favor?” I ask. She nods. “Will you climb into bed with me?”
“Are you sure? I don’t want to hurt you.”
“You could never hurt me.”
She moves the blankets out of the way somewhat and then sits up on the bed. I run my hand up and down her back. She lets out a big sigh of relief. I push my hand up her shirt, much to her surprise. She flips her head around, her eyes wide open.
“What are you doing?”
“Touching you.”
“I know that,” she says with a smile.
“I missed the touch of your skin. I had forgotten how soft it was.”
She gives out a moan as I run my fingers up and down her back. Her shoulder blades move up and down with each breath and she tilts her head back. I reach out with my other hand and pull on it.
“Hmmm,” she moans. I bury my fingers in her hair and tug again. I want to hear her moan again. I take my hand further up her back and tug at her bra. The clasp opens up and her breasts are released.
“Oh my God, what are you doing?” she asks, blushing. “You just woke up. Is this seriously what’s on your mind?”
“I nearly died. What else could possibly be on my mind?”
She shakes her head, rolling her eyes. “I don’t know if we can do anything like that.”
“Oh, c’mon. Please.”
“I’m serious. What if it’s bad for you to get aroused, given what medication you’re on?”
“I don’t care.”
“I do.”
“Okay, okay. How about this? What if you just lay here next to me and let me touch you. Nothing else?”
Chapter 14 - Ellie
When it snows…
I don’t know why I give into him. He should be resting. He should be taking it easy. And yet, I can’t stop him. I want him. I want to feel his hands all over me. I need him to touch me. I need to feel like my Aiden is back.
He runs his fingers up and down my back, unclasping my bra. My breasts fall down, freed from their enclosure. I laugh and roll my eyes, but don’t protest too much. He pulls me back into his bed. I lie on top of him as he runs his fingers up and down my arms. Shivers rush down my spine. A smile forms on my face. I close my eyes and let him touch me. His fingers quickly make their way to my collarbone and then down it. My breasts move up and down with each quickening breath. He wraps my nipple in between his fingers and squeezes lightly. The space between my legs starts to feel warm. I inhale deeply and choke on my breath.
“Are you okay?” he whispers in my ear, running his tongue along my neck.
“Yes, I just got a little overwhelmed.”
He slides his hand down and under my waistband. My yoga pants stretch to accommodate him. Quickly, he moves past my panties and further down. My hips start to sway without much control.
“Aiden…” I moan.
He squeezes my left nipple hard in between his fingers. It borders on pain and I let out a little yelp.
“Aiden…” I moan again. This time he squeezes it harder.
“What’s my name?” he says sternly. The resoluteness of his voice makes me wet.
I turn my head to look at him. Suddenly, the sad, pale face of helpless Aiden is all but gone. There is fire in his eyes. His cheeks are flushed and he looks as determined and in charge as ever.
“Mr. Black.”
“That’s right. Don’t forget it.”
He pushes his hand further down my pants. I spread my legs to either side of the bed to accommodate him. His fingers touch the outside of my thighs and then quickly make their way further inside. But then they stop.
“Take off your pants,” he instructs.
“But what if—“ I start to say.
“You know better than to say no.”
Just this statement alone makes me drip. I do as he says. I slide out of my pants and take my underwear off along with them. Even though the room is cold and stark, I feel like my whole body is on fire.
“Open your legs,” he says. I lean back against him and open my legs, pressing my toes on opposite sides of the bed. Mr. Black pulls my body up a little further, up to his, and puts my hands on my breasts. He massages them. Softly at first, but then harder and harder. Within a moment, my nipples could cut glass.
His fingers make their way down my body. Toward my belly button, then further south. I clench my butt as I wait for him to come back inside.
“Relax,” he instructs and I do as he says.
“I’v
e missed this, Mr. Black,” I moan.
“Mr. Black has missed you,” he says, burying his fingers inside of me and then pulling them out again and licking each and every one. I’m too aroused to be embarrassed. He runs his index finger over my clit, pressing on it. I open my legs wider and wider, welcoming him inside.
Pushing me slightly to the side, he grabs onto my butt cheeks. He draws little concentric circles on each one of my butt cheeks as he gets closer and closer to his aim. And then he’s inside.
“Sorry I don’t have a proper butt plug,” he says. “But my finger will have to do for now.”
I swallow hard and relax my body, allowing him to get further inside.
“You’re so tight. I love it.”
“Mmm,” I moan.
“Tell me how this feels,” he instructs.
“This feels so good, Mr. Black.”
“Tell me more.”
“I love having you in my ass. Every movement is sending shivers up and down my body.”
“Good.”
“I never knew how good this could feel. It’s like you’re tearing me apart from the inside out. In a good way…Mr. Black.”
Every time I call him Mr. Black, I feel myself getting closer to an orgasm.
“Now, open your legs up again,” he instructs.
I open one so he can push his other hand inside of me. He presses hard on my clit while at the same time going deeper into my ass. I’m so aroused that even my thighs are wet. Keeping his fingers up my ass and massaging my clit with others, he suddenly thrusts three more fingers up deep inside of me. I open wider to welcome him inside and start to slide up and down. A wave of warmth starts to build up in the pit of my stomach.
“I’m going to come,” I whisper.
“Not yet. And don’t you dare not call me Mr. Black when you do.”
This makes me even more aroused. I become completely overwhelmed. I feel like I’m going to come right this moment, but I try to hold off.
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