I pick up the shirt and press it against my body. It’s a simple white t-shirt, but it’s a bit long and big. This isn’t a girls’ shirt that Finn has laying around for his dates to change into (Lila told me that some guys do that). No, this is actually his shirt. I take a moment to inhale his aroma. It smells like lavender and his special musk. I then pull on the pair of sweats, which are also too big for me, and come outside.
Finn’s head is buried in his phone. For a second, he doesn’t notice me.
“Thank you for the clothes,” I say.
“Sure, of course.”
“I’m not really sure what to say. Except that I’m horribly embarrassed by this whole thing. I don’t even know how this happened. I didn’t think I drank so much.”
“Did you eat anything?”
“No, not really.”
“Well, that’s it then.”
Finn’s eyes twinkle with understanding.
“Can I ask you something?”
“Sure.”
“Most guys would be really grossed out by what just happened. But you… you didn’t seem to be.”
He shrugs.
“No, seriously. I’d like to know.”
“Seriously? It’s not a big deal to me.”
“But why?”
“Because I have a lot of experience with bodily fluids.”
I stare at him. What could that possibly mean? He stands up, takes my disgusting dress out of my hands and folds into a plastic bag.
“My dry cleaner will get this out for you,” he says and walks over to the teapot on the counter. “I’m going to make some tea. Would you like some?”
I nod. Neither of us speaks for a moment. I wait for him to explain, but no explanation comes. Just as I’m about to give up, he brings over the cups of tea and sits across from me.
“I’ve seen much worse than what just happened. You have nothing to be embarrassed about. When I was fifteen, my aunt got sick with brain cancer. She didn’t have insurance, and my mom started working overtime to try to help her with the bills. She moved in with us, and I took care of her. We couldn’t afford hospice care or a nurse or anything like that.”
Finn astonishes me. He speaks of this whole thing in the same plain and matter of fact voice that he would if I were to ask him about doing construction on his house. I’m pretty certain that most people would complain more about doing construction than he just did about taking care of his aunt.
“How long was she sick?” I ask.
“Two years. My mom was hardly around. She couldn’t do anything for herself in her last few months of life. It was so sad to see. But the experience taught me a lot about being humble and grateful for all of life’s opportunities.”
“I can imagine.”
“It was during those two years that I really decided to become an actor. It made me so happy to pretend to be someone else for just an hour or a day. It felt like this huge burden was lifted off me. It’s a little hard to explain, but acting was my escape.”
“Yeah, I can see that.”
“And it may make me sound like a horrible person, but after she died, the first feeling that I felt was relief. I was relieved that my beautiful, vibrant aunt was no longer suffering. That she was at peace. Finally. She deserved so much more out of life. But that’s the thing about life, it never promises to be fair. And you never know what kind of hand you’ll be dealt.”
“It seems like you’ve been seizing the day with your life, though.”
“Yeah, I try. But I’ve also been incredibly lucky. Some of those early parts I got. I should’ve never gotten them. I was horrible. And those directors are really the ones who deserve the credit for getting those performances out of me.”
“Maybe it’s karma.”
“Karma?”
“You took care of your aunt, selflessly. When most 15-year-old boys wouldn’t. Or couldn’t. And maybe all the luck you have had in your career is karma. You’re getting rewarded for all the good that you’ve done.”
“Maybe,” Finn smiles.
“I’m not a religious person, Finn, but maybe your aunt is looking down at you and sending you some good vibes. Or maybe she’s just watching over you.”
Finn shrugs and takes a deep breath.
“I’m not a religious person, either. But that would be nice.”
We sit together for a while in silence, but it’s not an uncomfortable silence like the ones we’ve shared before. No, this one is quite different. I feel like I understand something about him, and suddenly, it’s okay to just be together and not say a word.
“So, tell me something about you,” Finn says. “Something personal.”
I look up at him. My mind wanders.
“I’ve never thrown up in a movie star’s Hollywood Hills home before,” I say. “So this whole thing is a bit new.”
“Well, I should hope not. This would be an odd habit. And most movie stars are quite queasy. I’m not sure that they would let you get away with it as easily as I had.”
I laugh.
“I never felt like my parents supported me,” I say after a moment. I never vocalized these thoughts out loud before. Not even to my old, long-term boyfriends. But something about Finn makes me feel safe. Comfortable. Unafraid.
“What do you mean?”
“My older sister wanted to be an actress forever, and they always went to all of her high school plays. And they were really happy when she said that she will be moving to LA and that she’s going to major in acting in college. But they were never like that with me. I’ve loved fashion for a long time, but because I didn’t have a clear idea of what it was that I could do with fashion, or how I could make a living, they always thought of it as a hobby. It’s largely because of them that I majored in economics in college and got a job on Wall Street after I graduated. I was trying to please them. I was trying to show them how successful I could be.”
“So, what happened?”
“It didn’t work out. I hated the job, and I quit after a year and moved back home. I was really lost after that. I couldn’t figure out what to do with my life. And it was then that Lila invited me to move in with her out here and pursue fashion. Or wardrobe and costume design, really.”
“I’m really sorry that they treated you like that.”
“Well, they weren’t horrible parents. I don’t want to give you that impression. I just don’t really understand why they acted so differently to my dream than they did to Lila’s.”
“That’s the thing about parents. We grow up, and we hold all of these grudges against them. But the reason we do that is that we expect them to know what they’re doing. But the plain fact is that they don’t.”
“You don’t think parents know what they’re doing?” I ask, with a smile.
“No. Of course, not.”
“And why’s that?”
“Because before they become parents. They’re just people. I don’t want to say that all parents try their best, because that’s not true. But almost all of them are simply lost. They’re going through life just like the rest of us, without a clue as to what’s really going on.”
“I guess that’s a good way of thinking about it,” I say. “Do you ever want to be a parent?”
“I don’t know. You?”
“I don’t know either. Most women my age are dreaming of having kids, but I’m not there. And honestly, I’m not sure if I’ll ever be.”
“I sort of feel the same.”
I take a sip of my tea, and run the gist of the conversation back in my head. Did we really just talk about being parents? Wow. Yes, we did.
“Well, I guess I should get home,” I say finishing the rest of my tea. “It’s getting late. And I’m sure you want me out of your hair. I’ll just call a cab.”
“Oh no, you don’t have to.”
“Oh, I can’t ask you to drive me home. Seriously, it’s not a big deal.”
I pick up my phone and start to search for a cab company to call. Finn puts
his hand on my hand.
“Chloe,” he says quietly. The tone of his voice sends shivers down my back. I look up at him.
“What if I asked you to stay? Would you stay?”
I shrug.
“I don’t know,” I say slowly.
“Okay, I shouldn’t have made it a hypothetical question. Chloe, I want you to stay. Will you stay?”
I hesitate. I want to. Of course, I do. But I don’t know if staying means sex. I don’t know if I’m ready for that. Right now. I was before the incident, but now, everything’s different.
But Finn clears up all of my apprehensions. “No pressure about anything. I can even sleep on the couch if you want.”
“Why do you want me to stay?” I ask.
“Because I like you.”
Chapter 18 - Finn
I wanted to fuck Chloe the first time I saw her. Even as I was yelling at her for spilling orange juice all over me. She isn’t my type, of course. Not at all. A little too short, and not as thin as the usual girls that I date. Not at all like Ariel. Not at all like any of the Victoria Secret models who I’ve dated. And yet, every second that I spend with her, I want her even more. I watch her climb into my bed, with the faintest hope that something might still happen tonight. She’s wearing my sweats, and it takes all of my willpower not to go over there and try to peel them off her. But the mood is different now. We’re no longer making out on my kitchen floor. She just threw up all over my kitchen, and she needs rest.
“You don’t have to sleep on the couch,” she says as I grab a pillow from the bed. The couch is across from the bed, against the far left wall of my bedroom. I don’t need much convincing. I jump into bed.
“Wow, that was fast.”
“Hey, that couch isn’t as comfortable as it looks.”
“It doesn’t look that comfortable,” Chloe says.
I dim the lights. Chloe closes her eyes almost immediately. I look at her beautiful face and the way her hair cascades down my pillow. This has definitely been an unusual night. The only real regret I have is that I didn’t tell the truth. I should’ve just come out and said that I was her date. Not pretended to be some white knight sweeping in and saving her from being stood up. No, I’m an asshole for doing that. The only thing to do now is to just hope that she never finds out.
The following morning, Chloe is already up when I wake up. I wander into the kitchen, where she’s sitting at the kitchen table, with the phone up to her ear. I wander over to the tea pot and fire it up.
“Coffee?” I ask.
She nods, absentmindedly.
“Listen, I don’t know what I can tell you, but he didn’t show up,” Chloe says into the phone. My heart sinks. She’s talking to Dolly.
“I know that you didn’t mean for any of this to happen. It’s totally fine. I actually had a good time,” Chloe says.
I grab a tea bag and dunk it in my tea. Once the coffee is ready, I pour a cup for Chloe.
“I met a friend from work there, and we had a good time,” Chloe says.
I smile. Though being referred to as a friend from work isn’t awesome. I’m glad that she had a good time.
“I know. I understand. It’s totally fine. Really…No, I don’t think I want to be set up again anytime soon.”
Does she not want to be set up again because she likes me? Or because she was so disappointed over the fact that Dolly’s guy didn’t come through?
Shit. This is not good.
“Okay, fine. I have to go. I’ll talk to you later.”
Chloe hangs up the phone. She takes a deep breath before smiling at me.
“Who was that?” I ask, handing her a cup of coffee.
“Dolly Monroe. The billionaire matchmaker.”
“Oh, is that the woman who set you up on your date?”
Chloe nods, hanging her head.
“Last night was just such a clusterfuck. A major clusterfuck.”
“Oh, it wasn’t so bad, was it?” I ask.
She smiles. “You don’t think that me throwing up all over your gorgeous kitchen makes the date go a little off the rails?”
You would think so, I say to myself. But not really. This has actually been one of the most interesting dates that I’ve ever had. I just wish that she knew that she had never been stood up and that the person whom she was set up with was the one she’s had an awesome time with.
“Eh, you kept it interesting, at least,” I finally say.
“Well, it’s the least that I could do.”
“I don’t know. I think it went okay in general. I mean, you got stood up and, if that didn’t happen, we wouldn’t have ever had our date.”
Why am I saying this? Why not just come out with the truth right now? Because I’m a coward, that’s why.
“Yes, I guess so.”
“I say that it’s his loss.”
“You think so?” Chloe asks.
“Yes, absolutely. And actually, there was something I wanted to ask you.”
She looks up at me with her innocent eyes. From this angle, they are almost as big and wide as a Disney character’s eyes. And just as earnest.
“Will you go out with me again?”
“What do you mean?” she asks, with a surprise look on her face.
“I had a really good time last night. Despite everything. And I’d like to take you out on a proper date.”
She nods.
“Yes,” she says, coughing in the middle of the word.
“Yes?” I double check. She nods and flashes a smile. Good. That’s good.
Chloe leaves my place around 11 a.m. As soon as she gets into the cab, I start to wonder how long I should wait to call her or, at the very least, text her. I end up doing neither, but that requires a lot of concentrated will power and distractions. After doing some yoga on the porch, and flipping aimlessly through the channels, I drive out to Malibu and go surfing.
It’s rather windy, and the waves are strong. I paddle out into the blue and hop onto my surfboard. There’s something about surfing that always puts me at ease. It requires me to use my whole body, letting my mind rest up a bit. When things with Ariel were first going down, I didn’t go surfing and suffered more as a result. After close to two hours in the water, I ride a wave all the way to the edge of the sand and hop off my surf board. Surfing did not quench my desire for Chloe, but it did make up my mind about something. I’m going to move to Malibu. This is something I’ve been thinking about for quite some time. Ever since I bought my house in the Hollywood Hills. As much as I love the views of the city, the peace of the ocean is hard to beat.
I arrive at work the following Monday excited to see Chloe again. It has been less than 24 hours since I’ve been with her, and I’ve never wanted to see a girl so badly before.
Unfortunately, today is not just a regular day. Today is the day that we’re shooting a very explicit sex scene.
Martha meets with me and Tara before we go to wardrobe. Everyone is milling around – setting up the lights, making sure that the furniture is arranged just right. My eyes wander over to Chloe, who’s standing in front of her trailer organizing outfits onto hangers. I nod hello in her direction and she smiles back.
“Finn? Are you listening?” Martha asks.
“Yes, of course,” I say even though I have no idea what she had just said.
“So, my point for the scene is to make it as erotic as possible to the rated-R rating, but instead of simply creating a romantic ambience and sweeping the viewer off their feet, so to speak, I want to make this scene as realistic as possible. In other words, Finn, I would like you to get naked. Entirely.”
“Oh, okay,” I’m caught a little bit by surprise.
“When we talked to your agent earlier, he said that it wouldn’t be a problem.”
“No, it’s not,” I shrug. “But you can’t shoot an erection and get an R-rating.”
“Yes, I know that. So we’ll shoot around it somehow. I still want to get your butt in it and maybe even
you fully nude, but without an erection.”
I take a deep sigh. That’s not as hard to achieve as one might think, even though Tara is so hot. The thing is that sex scenes are shot in front of more than a hundred people. They’re all staring, looking, or working. That’s why so many actors find it embarrassing. I have too, in the past. But today, I’m more concerned about how it will go, since Chloe will be watching.
“Just tell me what to do, and I’m game,” I say.
“Me too,” Tara smiles at me. After Martha leaves, Tara approaches me. I like her long legs and her curious eyes.
“I can’t believe that this is the first scene we’re shooting together,” she says in a sultry voice.
“I know, right? Is there anything I can do to make you feel a little bit more comfortable?”
“Well, dinner might be a good idea. But it’s probably a little too late for that.”
I smile. She’s flirting. She’s just my type. I look her up and down. If I play my cards right, I can have her back in my trailer and totally naked within an hour. But then, Chloe catches my eye.
“Yeah, probably. Hey, listen, I have to go get my costume in order. I’ll see you later. Don’t worry. You’ll be great,” I say and walk away.
I can’t believe that I just did that. Walking away from a sure thing is not typically my modus operandi. But here I am walking toward Chloe, a girl who spilled orange juice on me, threw up all over my kitchen floor, slept over at my house and is yet to sleep with me. And yet, she’s the only one I want.
“Hey,” I walk over to Chloe and give her a brief hug. She pulls away from me.
“Hey. What are you doing?” she asks.
“Just thought that I’d give you a hug. What’s wrong with that?”
“Finn, don’t take this the wrong way, but I don’t want anyone on set to know about us,” she says. I hate how standoffish she’s acting.
“I don’t understand. Why?”
“Because nothing really happened last night. And I don’t want people to think that anything did.”
“Wait…are you embarrassed to be seen with me?” I ask. Is this really happening? Most women would die to be photographed with me.
Auctioned to Him 9_Wait Page 41