“No, not at all,” she says casting her eyes down. I take a step toward her and lift her head up to mine.
“What are you doing?” Chloe pushes me away. “What did I just say?”
“If you’re not embarrassed, then what’s going on?” I ask.
“Nothing. I just don’t know where this is going.”
“Well, we have another date together,” I say with a smile. “And, after Saturday night, we seem to have a little bit of a history.”
“Oh my God, don’t mention it,” she says, blushing. “Finn, I’m not embarrassed to be seen with you. Not at all. I just don’t want all the rumors to start flying about us. You know they will if people see us kissing and hugging and doing stuff like that.”
“And what’s wrong with that?” I ask.
“This is why you’re always in the magazines, Finn. You act like you hate the paparazzi always following you, but then you refuse to keep your private life private.”
“Yes, I do refuse to do that. I don’t see why I should,” I say. Now, I’m getting insulted. Angry.
“Well, I guess I just don’t want to be just one of those girls that people see on your arm in those celeb mags.”
“Oh, don’t worry, you won’t be,” I say and walk away.
This did not go very well. Frankly, I don’t really know what’s wrong or where it went off the rails. All I did was walk over there to give her a hug. I wasn’t making a spectacle. I wasn’t announcing that we were sleeping together or even dating. Everyone in LA gives hugs. What’s the big deal? Feeling very much conflicted, I walk back over to her.
“I still need to get my clothes for today’s scene,” I say. She nods and takes out a light linen suit and light brown Kenneth Cole shoes.
“I was thinking no socks.”
“Perfect,” I say. “What about underwear?”
“Oh yes, of course. How about black Calvin Klein boxer-briefs?” she asks.
“Fine,” I say.
“Do you want to try any of that on?” she asks as I start to walk away. For a brief second my eyes meet hers.
“No. Not now,” I say. I see the disappointment on her face, and it makes me happy. Who does she think she is, acting like that? And yet, within a few seconds, my so-called happiness fades. I feel like a dick, but my pride doesn’t let me go back.
“So, I want to go over a few things again before we start,” Martha says. Tara and I sit down on the bed.
“I want you both to start out standing. Finn, you walk over, stand close to her and say your line. She responds. Then you kiss her, and you fall into bed. I want you to remove each other’s clothes.”
“In any particular way? Or order?” Tara asks.
“Um, actually, no. Just do whatever feels natural. Okay. I guess that’s all. Let’s just start, and we’ll see how it goes.”
Everyone disappears off the set. I adjust my tie and position myself in the doorway. Out of the corner of my eye, I see Chloe. She’s here, watching along with everyone else. I turn my attention to Tara. It’s as if my mind switches off. And now, I’m fully immersed in the scene. Nothing else is real except for Tara and me.
“Action,” Martha yells. The room falls silent.
I walk over to Tara. Carefully, deliberately.
“What do you want from me?” I ask her.
“Nothing,” Tara says. Before she finishes the word, I plunge in and kiss her. We fall onto the bed together and start taking off each other clothes. First, she removes my tie. I pull off her blouse. As she unbuttons my shirt, I tug at her skirt. I wriggle out of my pants as we continue to kiss. I wait for Martha to yell ‘Cut,’ but it doesn’t come. Instead, I unclasp Tara’s bra. Her breasts fall in front of me, as if on a platter. She runs her fingers down my stomach, pausing briefly over each six pack, which I don’t forget to flex for the cameras. Now comes the difficult part. I stand up. Tara kisses my belly button, and with one swift motion, she pulls down my boxer-briefs. I step out of them calmly, then flip her over on her stomach and pull off her panties.
Still no ‘cut’ comes. I don’t want to interrupt the scene, so I fall on top of her and kiss the back of her neck. And then her back. My dick grows hard. It doesn’t know how I really feel. That it’s not Tara who I actually want to do this to. I rub my fingers up and down her back and bury them in her hair. When I pull on her hair slightly, she moans. We grind for a few moments. And then…finally…it comes.
“Cut!” Martha yells. I stand up right away and put on the robe, which an assistant runs over with. My erection is not something I can hide. I don’t want to be quick about putting it away. Everyone is watching, and I don’t want to act as if I’m embarrassed about anything. Instead, I coolly put on my robe and tie it loosely around my waist.
“Oh. My. God,” Martha explodes. “You guys, that was amazing!”
I love Martha’s exuberance. She doesn’t have any pretense the way that so many directors do. She’s shooting one of the most serious scripts I’ve ever had the privilege of working on, and yet she comes off like an excited sorority girl. Her level of excitement is contagious.
“I wasn’t sure if that was quite the direction you wanted me to go in,” I start to say.
“Oh no, no, no. I never would’ve even thought of that. The way you flipped her over like that and removed her panties. That just made me lose my breath. Honestly, amazing work.”
Tara and I exchange smiles. That’s always nice to hear.
“Now, if you don’t mind, could you do that again? Same sequence? I just want to make sure we get the best version.”
I nod. Right before she says “action” again, my eyes dart to Chloe. The expression on her face is a mix between lost, confused and angry. I don’t know why she would be feeling any of those things, except that this scene is just too real for her. But there’s nothing I can do about it right now.
Chapter 19 - Chloe
Am I really watching this? Is this really happening? I know that Finn’s an actor. Of course, I do. I was one of those millions of girls who fell in love with him in Monday Night Football when he had that tumultuous relationship with Beverly and then again in To Live and Die in the West. Neither the show nor the movie would be what they are if it wasn’t for his love affairs. I dreamed of being Beverly. The thing that I never dreamed about was watching him make love to Beverly. For some reason, it never occurred to me how exactly those scenes were shot. I was too lost in the story to care. But today…well, today, was quite eye opening, to say the least.
And this scene, in particular, is so much more than anything that happened in a cable show or a PG-13 movie. I just watched Finn passionately kiss Tara, throw her on the bed and remove her clothes. I just saw her pull off his underwear. I just saw his dick for the first time – and it wasn’t while we were having sex. No, this isn’t normal. Not even by a long shot. And, if this is normal in the Hollywood world, I’m not ready for it to be my new normal. When Martha asks them to do the scene over again, just as they had just done it, I look at Finn and walk away. I can’t bear to watch it again.
Two hours later, there’s a knock on my trailer. I’m staying busy trying to organize outfits for the next couple of scenes, but nothing seems to go together and I’m feeling altogether uninspired. “Come in,” I say. By the cautious footsteps up the steps, I suspect that it’s Finn.
“Hey,” he says. “Why did you leave?” “I had a few things to take care of,” I lie.
By his apprehension, I can tell that he isn’t convinced that I’m telling the truth.
“It’s just that most people never miss the sex scenes,” he says. “Especially if the director doesn’t close the set.”
“Well, I had something better to do.”
Finn walks up to me. He puts his hand on mine.
“Chloe, you did know what was going to happen today, right? I did nothing wrong.”
I push his hand away.
“Yes, of course.”
“So, what’s wrong?”
I take a moment
to think about this. For some reason, it feels like everything’s wrong.
“Nothing,” I shrug.
“And I’m sorry about earlier. I shouldn’t have made a scene like that. But honestly, I didn’t know that I was making a scene.”
“Finn…”
“What?”
“I’m just not sure that this whole lifestyle is for me,” I finally say.
“What lifestyle?” he asks.
“Your whole lifestyle. I’m just a regular person, and it’s all too much.”
“Well, I am an actor. And what just happened in that scene is just part of my job.”
I consider this for a moment. He’s right, of course. Maybe I am just being a little too sensitive.
“I have an idea,” he says. “Go out with me tonight. Dinner. Nothing fancy. Just a regular date. Then, hopefully, you’ll see that I’m just like anyone else.”
I smile. He walks closer to me, puts his hand on my hand again. This time, I don’t remove it. Maybe he’s right. Nothing that happened between us so far has been normal, and maybe that’s why I’m feeling so off by the whole situation.
I nod.
“Really?” he asks.
“Yes, really.”
“Okay, I’ll pick you up at seven. And don’t worry. We’ll go somewhere private. There won’t be any fans or photographers. Just the two of us.”
I like the sound of that. A lot.
When I get home from work, I don’t have much time to decide what I’m going to wear, let alone discuss the intricacies of what’s going on with Lila. Of course, Lila won’t let up. She knows the gist of what happened Saturday night and is as excited by the whole situation as any person could possibly be.
“You’re going out with whom tonight?” Lila asks when I get home.
“Finn,” I say, spraying my hair with dry shampoo. I washed it this morning, but it still managed to get greasy in less than eight hours.
“Wait, what?” Her eyes get big and her mouth drops open.
“You heard me.”
I look in the mirror. Definitely need to retouch my makeup.
“No, you’re not,” she shakes her head.
“I don’t know what to tell you,” I shrug, reapplying some more eyeliner. Why is it impossible to perform this simple task without opening your mouth slightly?
“Wait a second, let me get this straight. You got stood up on a date and Finn Dalton asked you to be his date instead. And then you threw up all over his floor, didn’t sleep with him and now you two are going out on a date?”
“Weirder things have happened,” I say putting on light pink lipstick.
“Not many.”
“Why is this so hard for you to believe?” I ask.
“Because…because…girls who color their own hair from a box do not go out with movie stars!” Lila finally says.
She’s right, of course.
“This one does,” I say with a smile.
I go into my room and rummage through my closet for a pair of black leggings and a sheer blouse. Finally, I settle on a violet sleeveless top with a floral design.
“You’re not wearing a dress?” Lila says with contempt. I shake my head, no. “How can you not wear a dress? Or at least a skirt?”
I look at myself in the mirror.
“Because I’m not a big fan of dresses or skirts. You know that,” I say changing in front of her.
“But you’re going on a date with Finn Dalton!”
“I know,” I say, putting on a fresh pair of low-rise panties and a black matching bra. “But the thing is that I want to be myself on this date. The last date we had…well, it was interesting, to say the least. But on this one, I want to be myself. My true self. And I want to wear what I would wear if I were going out with a normal guy. Besides, I think I look pretty good in this.”
I look at myself in the mirror. With a nice pair of pumps, I looked pretty sexy. The leggings give my body a nice outline and elongated my legs.
There’s a knock on the door.
“I just don’t think you should go on a date with a movie star dressed as if you were going to get a cup of coffee with your sister!” she hisses, as she walks toward the door. “Who is it?”
“Um, this is Finn. I’m here to pick up Chloe.”
“Oh my God, Chloe!” Lila whispers loudly to me. “He’s coming here? Why didn’t you tell me that he was coming here?”
“I thought I did. He’s my date. He’s picking me up,” I say with a laugh. “Can you please open the door? I need a few more minutes.
I close the door to the bathroom slightly, and just stand there staring at my reflection in the mirror. Perhaps it was a little unkind to not warn Lila that Finn was coming here. I know that it will be awhile before she forgives me for the fact that she met him wearing an old pair of sweats, with very little makeup on and with her hair in a bun. But the look on her face made it all worth it. It was priceless.
“Come on in…I’m so sorry about the mess. But Chloe didn’t warn me…didn’t tell me that we’d be having company,” I hear her mumbling through the door.
“It’s okay, really...you should see my place….So, you’re Chloe’s sister, huh? The actress.”
“Yes, yes, I am.”
“Hi,” I walk out of the bathroom. Finn looks me up and down. After a moment, his eyes settle on my face. His smile fills up the room.
“Oh wow,” he says. “You look…amazing.” I nod. “You too.” Finn is dressed in a casual pair of grey slacks and a button down shirt. The sleeves are rolled up, and he’s not wearing socks with his loafers.
He takes a few steps closer to me, putting his arm around my waist and pulling me in for a peck on the cheek. It’s so casual and effortless, it makes my knees a little wobbly.
“I’m going to go now, Lila,” I say walking passed her. She seems to be in a trance, so I nudge her a little to push her out of it.
“Sure, sure,” Lila whispers. “What time should I expect you?”
My faces flushes red. Now it’s my turn to be embarrassed, and the look on Lila’s face confirms that the question was an accident.
“Um, I don’t know. How about you just don’t?” I say.
“Oh…I see,” she says with a coy smile. I roll my eyes and walk out. Finn follows me closer behind. We walk downstairs in silence. Luckily, he isn’t parked too far. When we reach his car, he holds the door open for me like a gentleman.
“So?” he says pulling away from the curb.
“So what?” I ask.
“Apparently, your sister shouldn’t be expecting you home tonight.”
Not him too! I roll my eyes.
“Don’t get your hopes up,” I say with a smile. “I just said that to rile her up. To say that she was impressed with my date would be a huge understatement.”
“Oh yeah? Am I not your usual type of date?” Finn asks.
Out of the corner of my eye, I look him over. He’s shaved since this morning – that chiseled jaw is pronounced and strong.
“How’d you guess?” I ask.
“So, who’s your typical date, then?” he asks. I don’t reply. He turns to me as we speed down Sunset Boulevard.
“Actually, I haven’t been on a date in a while.”
“Why?”
“My sister dates for the both of us,” I joke. “I don’t really know why. Just had a long-term boyfriend for a while, and no one special really came along.”
“Wow, you are different.”
“What do you mean?”
“Well, this is LA, Chloe. Most people don’t date only special people here. They just date. But I guess I’m flattered.”
“Oh, please,” I wave my hand dismissively at him.
“No, seriously. I am.”
“Hey, who said that I’m going out with you because I think you’re special? You saved me from being stood up, and we’re colleagues, as you’d said. Plus, you begged and begged if I remember correctly.” I don’t want his head to get too big. It seems
to be big enough.
“Yes, of course,” Finn nods with a smile.
“Okay, so where are we going?” I ask, trying to change the subject. It’s all getting a little too personal for my taste.
“My place.”
“Your place?” My mouth nearly drops open. “I thought that we would have a normal date?”
“We will. My personal chef is making us a special dinner. All I said before was that I’d take you somewhere private. Somewhere we can get to know each other a little better.”
“Okay,” I mumble. Honestly, I’m not sure how I feel about this. He senses my hesitation.
“Listen, you don’t have to worry. No pressure. Seriously. This is just dinner. And I’ll take you home afterwards, like a proper gentleman.”
I nod, trying to process exactly what he’s saying. I look at him and search his face for any ulterior motives, but I don’t spot any. He appears to be genuine, completely honest. But how could I be sure? He is an Oscar-winning actor!
Still, I decide to go with my gut. And my gut says, trust him. You can trust him.
Chapter 20 - Chloe
On the half an hour drive over to his house, I discover that Finn and I have a lot in common. We both love the 90’s boy band N’Sync, the Cuban dish of mango and rice, and dark chocolate. His favorite grade in school was third grade, and he hated eleventh grade so much, he almost dropped out. I told him that high school wasn’t the best for me either, but I loved college. I had debated going to a large university like the University of Southern California, where my sister went, but I now think that Oberlin College was the perfect fit for me.
“What is it in particular that you liked about Oberlin?” Finn asks me as we pull into his driveway.
“It was just the right size. I’m not as outgoing as Lila, and I know that I would’ve gotten lost in a larger school. Oberlin also focused on the liberal arts, and it really taught me how to think critically and reason. I think that’s really important in today’s day and age. Especially since our world is so technological.”
“You know, I agree with you. I mean, math and science education is very valuable, especially if kids are taught computers and how to write code and stuff like that. But there’s nothing more liberating than reading fiction or philosophy or drama. It really enriches the experience of being a human being,” Finn says.
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