The SPEED of Trust: The One Thing that Changes Everything

by Stephen M. R. Covey

  Clearly, motive matters, and the motive of caring will do more than anything else to build credibility and trust. But what if you genuinely don’t care? What if your real motive is profit or accumulation or recognition—period? What if you really don’t care about customers or employees? Should you try to convince them that you do?

  If you really don’t care—and you don’t want to care—that’s fine. But you need to understand that you will pay a tax because of it! Whatever you say or do will take more time and it will cost more because you will not gain the credibility and trust that come from caring. You may think you’re already getting good results, but you need to ask yourself a bigger question: What am I leaving on the table?

  You also need to understand that if you act like you care when you really don’t, ultimately—if not immediately—you will have a “comeuppance” and the tax will be even greater. In fact, there are few trust taxes that are higher than those attached to duplicity, particularly regarding motive.

  The only thing worse than a coach or CEO who doesn’t care about his people is one who pretends to care. People can spot a phony every time. They know he doesn’t care about them, and worse, his act insults their intelligence.

  —JIMMY JOHNSON, FORMER COACH, DALLAS COWBOYS AND MIAMI DOLPHINS

  So if you really don’t care—and you have no intent to change—you’re generally much better off being transparent about it and simply recognizing that you’re paying a tax because of it. However, if you don’t care now, but you sincerely desire to care, there are definitely things you can do to elevate your motive, to improve your intent. I will address this issue in the last part of this chapter.

  • • •

  Agenda. Agenda grows out of motive. It’s what you intend to do or promote because of your motive.

  The agenda that generally inspires the greatest trust is seeking mutual benefit—genuinely wanting what’s best for everyone involved. It’s not just that you care about others; you also genuinely want them to win. Yes, you’re seeking a win for yourself; that’s natural, desirable, and to be expected. But you’re also seeking a win for all others involved. You recognize that life is interdependent, so you seek out solutions that build trust and benefit all. I love how Wharton professor Adam Grant put it: “I would love to redefine success to say it’s not just what you achieve, it’s also what you help other people to achieve.”

  Having spent many years trying to define the essentials of trust, I arrived at the position that if two people could say two things to each other and mean them, then there was the basis for real trust. The two things were “I mean you no harm” and “I seek your greatest good.”

  —JIM MEEHAN, BRITISH PSYCHOLOGIST AND POET

  The opposite of a mutual benefit agenda is a self-serving agenda: “I want to win—period.” If that’s your agenda, you might get results. But you need to ask yourself: Are these the best possible results I could be getting? And: Are these results sustainable over time? The answer to both of these questions is “no.” Sooner or later, you will pay a huge tax. And your approach will not be sustainable. Instead of building bridges of credibility and trust, you’re creating roadblocks of suspicion and distrust.

  Let me share with you the experience of Shea Homes—an outstanding example of the dividends that come from a genuine mutual benefit agenda. In the construction industry, which is typically very “win/lose” and adversarial between contractors and subcontractors, Shea Homes decided to create a different model. Among the many steps they took, they renamed their subs as “trade partners” and opened their financials to them on shared projects. They were transparent. Their operating premise was, “We want to win, but we want you to win, too. And together, we can better help our customers win. So how can we make this work?”

  The difference between this and the traditional adversarial approach was like night and day. And the results they achieved reflected an enormous trust dividend on nearly every measure: the number of days it took them to build homes went down, costs went down, quality errors decreased, customer satisfaction increased, and referrals from customers increased. They made more money. Their partners made more money. Their customers were happier. Everybody won.

  The Shea Homes example clearly shows the impact of a mutual benefit agenda on trust. It also shows the power of having an agenda that is open as opposed to hidden or closed. You’ve probably been in dozens, if not hundreds, of meetings or interactions where you felt that people were not being up-front with you about what they really wanted or were trying to accomplish—in other words, they were operating with hidden agendas. Most likely, these agendas were recognizable to you to one degree or another, and they made you feel suspicious, wary, guarded, and uncomfortable. Think about the tax that was being paid as a result. Think about the impact on speed and cost. Think about the dividend everyone could have enjoyed instead had there been no concern about veiled motives or disguised intent—if all agendas had been out in the open, and particularly if the main agenda had been to do what was genuinely best for all involved.

  • • •

  Behavior. Typically, behavior is the manifestation of motive and agenda. The behavior that best creates credibility and inspires trust is acting in the best interest of others. When we do so, we clearly demonstrate the intent of caring and the agenda of seeking mutual benefit. And this is where the rubber meets the road. It’s easy to say “I care” and “I want you to win,” but it is our actual behavior that demonstrates whether or not we mean it.

  The true price of leadership is the willingness to place the needs of others above your own. Great leaders truly care about those they are privileged to lead and understand that the true cost of the leadership privilege comes at the expense of self-interest.

  —GEORGE J. FLYNN, LIEUTENANT GENERAL, U.S. MARINE CORPS (RET.)

  An excellent example of behaving in a way that demonstrates caring and inspires trust is Howard Shultz, founder and chairman of Starbucks. Some years ago, three Starbucks employees were murdered during a robbery attempt at one of the Starbucks stores in Washington, D.C. On hearing about it, Howard Shultz immediately chartered a plane to D.C. He spent an entire week there, working with the police, consoling the victims’ families, and meeting with employees. He attended the funerals. But then he went well beyond what might be expected by announcing that he was going to devote all future profits from the store to “organizations working for victims’ rights and violence prevention.”

  By demonstrating such deep caring and concern for these three employees and their families, Howard Shultz demonstrated care and concern for the thousands of Starbucks employees and their families. And they felt it. There was no doubt in anybody’s mind that he cared. They thought, “Wow, if he would do this for these people and their families, he would do that for me. I’m proud to work for this company.”

  Putting a positive twist on the mafia creed—“Punish one, teach a hundred”—Shultz demonstrated that in showing profound concern for the few, you teach an entire company. And those who worked for the company extended the caring they felt to the way in which they treated their customers, resulting in what Schultz has called “a higher-quality employee, an employee that cares more.” This is one of the reasons why Starbucks has such a great culture, performs well, and has consistently placed in the Top 10 of Fortune magazine’s Most Admired Companies in the World.

  Unfortunately, this outstanding example is not the norm. In many organizations, the message communicated by behavior is not “We care”; it’s “You’re expendable, replaceable. What we care about is profit.” In fact, research shows that:

  • Only 29% of employees believe that management cares about them developing their skills.

  • Only 42% believe that management cares about them at all.

  What kind of impact is that having on trust and on the speed and cost required in these organizations to get things done?

  Acting in the best interest of others is a behavior that typically flows out
of a caring motive and an agenda of mutual benefit. However, there are times when observable behavior that communicates one message is, in reality, an act of duplicity or deceit. It’s the “I care about you” show of an “I really could care less about you, but I want to project the image of caring” person. Don’t forget that the real behavior here is deceit, and this is what will almost always come across in the end. The show is not sustainable, and the resulting devastation to one’s credibility—and ultimately to trust—is immense.

  THE TRUSTEE STANDARD

  When we believe people truly are acting in our best interest, we tend to trust them. When we believe that they are not acting in our best interest, we do not trust them.

  It’s that simple.

  Think about the word “trustee.” A “trustee” is someone who is given legal authority to manage money or property on behalf of someone else. The fiduciary standard is that a trustee will act in the “best interest” of the person he/she represents. The very word “trustee” communicates the idea that this person is “entrusted” to do so. This is what I call the “trustee standard”: acting in the best interest of others.

  Think about the whole issue of unionism. Unions are a reality in much of organizational life worldwide and aren’t necessarily bad. They represent good people and are often found in great companies such as Southwest, Toyota, Boyd’s Coffee, and Boeing.

  But the fundamental reason most unions are formed (particularly in the U.S.) is that employee groups do not trust that management will act in their best interests. In other words, employees feel they need to organize to act in their own best interests because management will not. Thus, unionism itself is typically a fruit of distrust, coming from a perceived violation of the trustee standard.

  I think every good company has got to have . . . a partnership relationship, really, with their employees. You have got to work in their best interest . . . and eventually it will come back to the company.

  —SAM WALTON, FOUNDER, WAL-MART AND SAM’S CLUB

  BAD EXECUTION OF GOOD INTENT

  It’s important to keep in mind that sometimes, unfortunately, poor behavior turns out to be bad execution of good intent. That certainly was the case when my father left my mother stranded alone on the highway! His intent was good, but his execution was poor.

  It’s also good to keep in mind that people typically judge us—and we judge them—based on observable behavior. Thus, we need to do all we can to ensure that our behavior accurately reflects our true motives and agendas.

  Also, we need to be careful how we judge others. I have a friend who constantly ascribes negative motives to drivers who exhibit what he considers inappropriate behavior (such as cutting him off) when he’s on the road. His wife always comes up with other possibilities: “Well, maybe he has to get to the hospital” or “Maybe he’s late to pick up his little daughter” or “Maybe his dog died.” As Scottish author J. M. Barrie said, “Never ascribe to an opponent [or I would say to anyone] motives meaner than your own.”

  I would also say to be careful to not interpret the intent of others by projecting your own intent onto their behavior—and also to realize that often others may be interpreting your intent in this way. As your experience will undoubtedly tell you (and as I discovered deeply and personally through the FranklinCovey merger experience a few years ago), none of us likes to have bad motives unfairly attributed to our behavior. Again, we tend to judge others based on their behavior, and ourselves based on our intent. In almost all situations, we would do well to recognize the possibility—even probability—of good intent in others . . . sometimes despite their observable behavior.

  In choosing to look beyond the behavior of others (especially teenage children or troubled coworkers) and affirming our belief in them and in their positive intent, we lift them. Our own behavior in doing so gives expression to our higher motives and caring intent.

  HOW TO IMPROVE INTENT

  Fundamentally, intent is a matter of the heart. It’s something you can’t fake—at least not for long. But it is something you can definitely work on and improve.

  Some people genuinely have poor intent. Though they may not be aware of it or even admit it, deep inside they seek their own profit, position, or possessions above people, above principle, above everything else.

  Others have good intent—they sincerely want to do what’s right and seek the welfare of others—but their expression or execution of intent is poor.

  Though we may not realize it, most of us deal with at least some degree of challenge in both of these areas. If we’re really honest, we have to admit that sometimes our motives are not completely pure. Sometimes we approach situations with hidden agendas—even tiny ones—that keep us from being appropriately transparent with others. Sometimes we manifest behaviors that don’t demonstrate caring, openness, and concern. To whatever degree these challenges are part of our lives, we are being taxed, both personally and professionally.

  The challenge, then, is to improve intent. So here are the top three accelerators I recommend to help you do it.

  1. Examine and Refine Your Motives

  It’s human tendency to assume we have good—or at least, justifiable—intent. At times, our intent genuinely is good; at other times, we rationalize (tell ourselves “rational lies”) in order to justify our intent to ourselves and to others. So how do we get down to the deepest level to really examine our motives, discover why we really do what we do, and change what needs to be changed?

  One good way is to regularly ask soul-searching questions, such as the following:

  • In an interaction with a child: Are my actions motivated by genuine caring and love? Am I really seeking the best interests of this child? Am I humble enough to admit it if I am wrong? Or am I really trying to impose my will on this child?

  • In an interaction with a spouse: Am I sincerely listening to what my spouse has to say? Am I genuinely open to his/her influence? Do I understand where he/she is coming from? Or am I focused on explaining my point of view, being right, or getting my way?

  • In an interaction with a work team: Am I quick to see and acknowledge the contribution of every team member? Am I focused on a “win” for the entire team? Or am I primarily focused on my own “win”—on being the “hero,” on being recognized for my own ideas?

  • In a business deal: Do I genuinely want what’s best for us both? Do I really understand what constitutes a “win” for the other party? Have I clearly thought through and can I express what constitutes a “win” for me? Am I open to synergy and third alternatives? Or do I really want to ‘win,” regardless of what happens to the other party?

  In my own life, the more I have interacted with others on every level of life—in my family, friendships, work, church, and community associations—the more I have come to realize the importance of regularly examining my motives. As I have had occasion to speak to groups in my church, for example, I have come to realize the value of constantly asking myself this question: Am I seeking to bless, or to impress? This helps me keep my purpose in mind and to speak with greater openness and integrity.

  Another good way to examine your motives is to use an adaptation of the “five whys”—a simple problem-solving technique made popular in the 1970s by the Toyota Production System. Toyota’s idea was to start with the end problem and work backward through a series of “whys” until you get to the root cause. We have found this process works very well with self and others to discover real intent.

  For example, suppose you’re feeling undervalued, unappreciated, and generally upset about your current situation at work, and you set up a meeting with your boss to discuss it. Going through the “five whys” with yourself in advance could have a significant effect on the content of the meeting and on the outcome.

  1. Why am I feeling unappreciated and undervalued? Because I don’t think the people around here see the good work I do.

  2. Why do I think they don’t see the good work I do? Because they s
eem to be totally focused on the new blood—the “rising stars.”

  3. What makes me think they’re focused on the rising stars? The fact that Sarah got promoted last week—and it should have been me!

  4. Why do I think Sarah got promoted instead of me? I don’t know. Maybe that’s what I really want to talk to my boss about.

  5. Why do I want to talk to the boss about it? Well, I suppose my original intent was to vent and complain about Sarah’s promotion. But I guess what I really want to understand is what I can do to add more value to the company so that I will be considered more seriously when future promotions come around.

  Generally, after “five whys,” you’re either down to the real intent or very close to it. Once you discover the real “why,” you can decide whether you’re satisfied with your intent or you want to change it. The key is simple: If your intent is based on principles (caring, contributing, seeking mutual benefit, acting in the best interest of others), it will bring you trust dividends; if it’s not, you’re going to be paying a tax.

  So if you need to refine or elevate your intent, I suggest a few ideas:

  First, make sure you have identified the principles that will bring the results you want.

  Second, recognize that you may need help to create this deep inner change—and seek it. For some, this will involve searching out role models, reading biographies of caring people, or creating a mental/spiritual daily diet of the uplifting, caring thoughts expressed in the wisdom literature throughout the ages. It might include seeking help from caring mentors or through meditation and prayer. At the very least—and foundational to all other help—rescripting will require the constant assistance of our own conscience. Listening and responding to that deep inner voice will lead us to higher motives and clearer intent.