The SPEED of Trust: The One Thing that Changes Everything

by Stephen M. R. Covey

  • The next time someone has wronged you, be quick to forgive. Try to make it easier for others to Right Wrongs. Not only will this help them, it will also help you.

  SUMMARY: BEHAVIOR #4—RIGHT WRONGS

  Make things right when you’re wrong. Apologize quickly. Make restitution where possible. Practice “service recoveries.” Demonstrate humility. Don’t cover things up. Don’t let pride get in the way of doing the right thing.

  BEHAVIOR #5: SHOW LOYALTY

  It’s been my experience that the people who gain trust, loyalty, excitement, and energy fast are the ones who pass on the credit to the people who have really done the work. A leader doesn’t need any credit . . . . He’s getting more credit than he deserves anyway.

  —ROBERT TOWNSEND, FORMER CEO, AVIS

  Many years ago, I worked in a company where I would go to lunch almost daily with a group of about 12 coworkers. When they finished eating, a couple of people in the group would get up and leave, and the others would immediately start talking about them. When two or three more would leave, the group would talk about them. It got to where I didn’t dare leave the table because I knew the minute I left, they’d start talking about me!

  My experience with this lunch group was an example of the opposite of Behavior #5. It showed disloyalty, and it made huge withdrawals—not only with the people who were being discussed at the time, but also with everyone else who was there. We all knew that the treatment of those not present was an indication of the way we would be treated when we were not present. And that certainly didn’t build trust!

  To Show Loyalty, on the other hand, is a way to make huge deposits in the Trust Account—not only with the person you show loyalty to, but also with everyone who becomes aware that you do it.

  In John Marchica’s book, The Accountable Organization, Colleen Barrett, then president and COO of Southwest Airlines, demonstrated a way to show loyalty to employees that clearly built trust in the organization. She said:

  It’s all very logical to me, but I think it’s sometimes a surprise with some other customer service–driven companies that will say the customer is always right. We don’t subscribe to that. And we have said that publicly, too, which has caused me a letter or two! But that is one of the ways that we earn the trust of our employees. I’m not saying that if the employee makes a mistake, and it’s a serious enough mistake, that they won’t be disciplined or talked to. But I am saying that if the customer was wrong, and if the customer behavior was bad, then I am going to defend and support the employee. We haven’t done this often, but we have, on occasion, told a customer that we don’t want him or her back on our airline.

  Show Loyalty is based on the principles of integrity, loyalty, gratitude, and recognition. There are many ways to show loyalty—big and small—but in this chapter we will focus on two dimensions: giving credit to others, and speaking about people as though they were present.

  GIVE CREDIT TO OTHERS

  One important way to Show Loyalty is to give credit to others, to acknowledge them for their part in bringing about results. By giving credit, you not only affirm the value of an individual’s contribution, you also create an environment in which people feel encouraged to be innovative and collaborative and to freely share ideas, kicking in the geometric trust multiplier.

  With regard to giving credit, I like to think of “the window and the mirror” metaphor articulated by Jim Collins. He basically says that when things go well, you look through the window; in other words, you look at everyone out there and all they did to contribute, and you give them the credit, attribution, recognition, acknowledgment, and appreciation. When things don’t go well, you look in the mirror. You don’t look out there and blame and accuse others; you look at yourself.

  The opposite of giving credit is to take the credit yourself. In one of our programs, a salesman told about how he found a choice client, ran with the opportunity, did all the work, and in the final stages of the deal, went to his boss for help. When his boss saw how big the account was, he took it over. He kept all the revenues and all the recognition. This created enormous distrust—not only with the person from whom he took the account, but also to everyone else on the team. No one wanted to ask the boss for help anymore because they knew he could do the same thing to them. This is yet another example of how when you build (or destroy) trust with the one, you build (or destroy) trust with the many.

  Leaders also establish trust by giving credit where credit is due. They never score off their own people by stealing an idea and claiming it as their own.

  —JACK WELCH

  The counterfeit of giving credit is to be two-faced: to appear to give credit to someone when they’re with you, but then downplay their contribution and take all the credit yourself when they’re not there. This kind of duplicity is seldom hidden, and it damages trust with all.

  Business author Dottie Gandy makes the point that it is not only important to give credit to people for what they do, but also to acknowledge people for who they are. There are many ways to acknowledge people and give credit for contributions, both at work and at home. You can celebrate. You can create legends and lores by the stories you tell. You can send thank-you’s (letters, cards, or flowers). You can publicize success stories in company or family newsletters. You can go out of your way to catch people doing things right.

  A senior executive at one of our workshops shared this idea:

  Whenever our department is asked to provide input to those higher up, I share the request with the appropriate staff. When the good suggestions come back, instead of synthesizing them or sending them forward under my signature, I attach their e-mail and just say, “Our comments follow.” This gives people recognition for their work. It also creates a huge credibility and loyalty factor between me and my staff because they know that wherever possible I will give them recognition and credit where it’s due.

  However you do choose to do it, I guarantee that giving credit to others will significantly increase trust and economic results—as well as other positive results—on all levels. And I encourage you to give credit abundantly. To “give credit where credit is due” is a judgment, but to give credit abundantly flows out of an abundant heart.

  You can accomplish anything in life provided you don’t mind who gets the credit.

  —HARRY S. TRUMAN, FORMER U.S. PRESIDENT

  SPEAK ABOUT OTHERS AS IF THEY WERE PRESENT

  The second dimension of Show Loyalty is to speak about others as if they were present. I learned the importance of this behavior firsthand in my experience with the lunch group I mentioned earlier. I saw how the lunchroom discussions that focused on those who had left ended up damaging trust with everyone involved.

  Obviously this was an example of the opposite of speaking about others as if they were present—of selling people out or not representing them fairly when they’re not in a position to do so themselves. The counterfeit of this behavior, which is equally destructive, is sweet-talking people to their faces and bad-mouthing them behind their backs. Often we’re not even aware that we’re involved in these opposite or counterfeit behaviors—or of the impact it has on trust. One CEO of a software company shared her feelings about some insightful feedback she received from her 360-degree Speed of Trust Quotient (TQ) survey. She said:

  Under the “comments” section, one person wrote: “When someone leaves the company, do not bad-mouth them in front of your current employees. It makes me feel like no matter what I contribute to this company, it will be forgotten the moment I leave, no matter the circumstances.” Ouch! I had no idea I was doing that and no idea of the impact it was having. It was very humbling for me to hear it.

  Interestingly, people who talk about others behind their backs often seem to think that it will build some kind of camaraderie and trust with those who are there. But the exact opposite is true. When you talk about others behind their backs, it causes those who are present to think you’ll do the same to them when they’re not there
. So it clearly has a negative geometric impact on trust.

  In contrast, my wife, Jeri, has a friend about whom she has said, “I trust Karen implicitly with anything. I’ve never heard her bad-mouth or criticize another soul. She just won’t do it.” What I also hear Jeri saying is, “And I know she won’t criticize me.”

  An excellent example of this behavior occurred when Sam Alito was appointed U.S. attorney for New Jersey. He inherited a case from his predecessor that ended up going south, causing him to experience a defeat. Under the circumstances, it would have been easy for him to point fingers, but, according to an article in USA Today, “Alito refused to blame his predecessor, who had brought the case, or his assistants.” As a result, “The new U.S. attorney scored ‘huge points’ with his staff.”

  To retain those who are present, be loyal to those who are absent.

  —STEPHEN R. COVEY

  I’m aware of a man who had a similar experience some years ago when he replaced the former president of a midsize company. Although this new president inherited significant problems from the former president’s administration, he made the decision that he would not bad-mouth this man—publicly or privately—under any circumstance. This was an immense challenge for him. There were many times when he wanted to do it, but he didn’t, and his approach helped him establish trust much faster in the organization. It also allowed him to create an excellent relationship with the former president’s talented son, whom he wanted to stay in the company, and who did stay because of the new president’s respectful treatment of the prior administration.

  On the home front, one young acquaintance of mine said that as she was growing up, she always knew that what she said to her parents in private would never be discussed with anyone else in the family. They would never say to her brother, “Oh, you should have heard what your sister said the other day!” And neither would they talk about their private conversations with other family members with her. That demonstration of loyalty created high-trust relationships between parents and children in the home.

  Obviously, for good or ill, the way we talk—or don’t talk—about others when they’re not there has geometric effect. It can build or destroy trust . . . fast.

  WHEN YOU HAVE TO TALK ABOUT PEOPLE

  So what happens when you’re in a situation where your job involves talking about people? You can’t just bury your head in the sand and say, “I just won’t talk about anyone.” So what do you do?

  One former HR executive shared the following experience:

  At one point, I was in a job where I had to talk about people all day. Managers would come to me and say, “I’m having a problem with Jim or Lori. What do I do?” Obviously we needed to discuss the individual, and sometimes what we had to talk about was not very complimentary. So I had to ask myself, How can I show loyalty to this person who is not present, and still do my job well?

  I finally realized that the difference in showing loyalty and not showing loyalty is in intent. If the purpose was to improve the performance or the relationship and if the conversation was fair and respectful toward the person, then I could feel that I was showing loyalty. Most of those conversations ended up focusing on the manager and what he or she could do instead of on the faults (real or imagined) of the person we were talking about.

  The key is to talk in a way that shows respect. Again, you’re building trust with those who are present by communicating that you would speak with respect about them, too, if they were not there.

  Another key is to have the courage to go directly to the person with whom you have a concern. Sometimes the person who needs to change is the last to know. To exercise courage—to go to the person and talk to him/her about the concern—is also a demonstration of loyalty.

  TRUST TIPS

  Let’s take a look at the bell curve for this behavior. On the left side, you behave in ways that show loyalty only in minimal ways. Perhaps you’re loyal as long as it’s convenient. Or maybe you show some degree of loyalty, but not to the extent that you’re willing to take a firm stand when others disagree.

  On the right side of the curve, you might behave in ways that appear to be extremely loyal to someone at the moment, but which are not loyal to their future well-being or to principles. For example, you might agree to keep quiet about a person’s committing a criminal act, or you might remain fiercely “loyal” to an idea or belief system, even when additional information clearly shows it to be outdated or incomplete.

  Integrity (particularly courage and congruence), Intent (motive and behavior), and Capabilities (trust abilities) play a big role in helping you stay in the area of maximization. Keep in mind that often loyalty to principle is the best way to demonstrate loyalty to people.

  In working to improve in this behavior, you might want to consider the following ideas:

  • The next time you’re in a conversation where people start bad-mouthing someone who’s not there, consider your options. You can participate in the discussion. You can leave. You can stay, but remain silent. You can say something positive about the person to try to balance out the conversation. Or you can say, “I really don’t feel comfortable talking about this person like this when he/she is not here. If we have a concern, let’s go talk with this person directly.” Consider what would be the most principled behavior in the situation and do it.

  • The next time you work with others on a project at work or at home, go out of your way to give credit freely. Help create an environment in which everyone’s contributions are recognized and every person is acknowledged. Give credit generously.

  • Make it a rule to never talk about family members in negative ways. Be thoughtful about how you talk with your partner about family members, including children. Catch your children doing things right—and share your excitement about their good deeds with others.

  SUMMARY: BEHAVIOR #5’SHOW LOYALTY

  Give credit to others. Speak about people as if they were present. Represent others who aren’t there to speak for themselves. Don’t bad-mouth others behind their backs. When you must talk about others, check your intent. Don’t disclose others’ private information.

  BEHAVIOR #6: DELIVER RESULTS

  Future leaders will be less concerned with saying what they will deliver and more concerned with delivering what they have said they would.

  —DAVE ULRICH, BUSINESS AUTHOR AND PROFESSOR

  People frequently ask me, “If you want to establish a relationship with a new client, what is the one thing you can do to build trust the fastest?” Without hesitation, I reply, “Deliver results!” Results give you instant credibility and instant trust. They give you clout. They clearly demonstrate that you add value, that you can contribute, that you can perform. As well as being an integral part of your personal credibility (one of the 4 Cores), results provide a powerful tool for building trust in your relationships with others.

  With Deliver Results, we move from those behaviors that are based primarily on character to those based primarily on competence. This behavior grows out of the principles of responsibility, accountability, and performance. The opposite of Deliver Results is performing poorly or failing to deliver. The counterfeit is delivering activities instead of results—e.g., being really busy, but not really productive.

  I’ve worked with a lot of people over the years—particularly salespeople—who are long on talk, but short on delivery. They make all kinds of fantastic presentations and exciting promises of all the wonderful results they are going to achieve. But when it comes down to it, they either never deliver or deliver far short of what they promise. I finally learned to look for people who are short on talk and long on delivery. It’s not that they don’t make excellent presentations or anticipate high-level success. They do. But they don’t overhype. They just consistently deliver results. I learned it’s most effective to give the best opportunities to the big producer who doesn’t talk instead of the big talker who doesn’t produce.

  We judge ourselves by what we fee
l capable of doing, while others judge us by what we have already done.

  —HENRY WADSWORTH LONGFELLOW

  When I think of delivering results, I think of the movie trilogy Lord of the Rings. You watch nine hours of film, but in the end, it’s all about Frodo getting that ring in the volcano. Without that, not much else really matters.

  THE IMPACT ON TRUST ACCOUNTS

  When I came in as CEO of Covey Leadership Center, there was one division that was perceived by the culture as a “hobby,” or a business that people like being in, but that doesn’t now (and likely never will) make money. Although there had been a lot of talk for three years, this division had not yet delivered any products or results, and the feeling was that the division was being carried. I met with the leader of this unit, and together we mutually agreed that there would be a product, that they would deliver results within six months—no exceptions. We set up a clear goal and accountability to that goal.

  Along the way, I began getting feedback from the people in the division that the deadline was too aggressive and they just couldn’t do it. I said, “Look, our credibility is on the line here. Until there is a product, this division is just a hobby. We’ve been talking about a product for years; we are going to hit this deadline.”

  They all hated me. They wanted me to give them more time. But I felt strongly that we needed to hold them accountable to the agreement. And in the end, they came through. The product was released on the agreed-upon date, and within the first several months it brought in millions of dollars.