The SPEED of Trust: The One Thing that Changes Everything

Home > Other > The SPEED of Trust: The One Thing that Changes Everything > Page 26
The SPEED of Trust: The One Thing that Changes Everything Page 26

by Stephen M. R. Covey


  Matt’s behavior is an excellent example of what it means to hold yourself accountable. It demonstrates one of the points Jim Collins makes in his metaphor of the window and the mirror. This was a time to stop looking out the window—to not look out at others and to blame and accuse—but to look in the mirror, to focus on your own responsibility in the situation.

  This behavior is built on the principles of accountability, responsibility, stewardship, and ownership. The opposite of this behavior is to not take responsibility, to not own up, but rather to say, “It’s not my fault.” Its counterfeit is to point fingers and blame others, to say, “It’s their fault.”

  To grasp the impact of this behavior on trust, consider the following examples.

  On the final drive of an important game, Hall of Fame quarterback Steve Young of the San Francisco 49ers threw the ball to where the receiver was supposed to be, but wasn’t. The ball was intercepted, and the 49ers lost the game. Afterward, an interviewer pointed out to Young that it appeared his receiver had run the wrong route and asked him if this was so. In truth, the receiver had run the wrong route, and it must have been tempting for Young to agree with the interviewer and avoid being unfairly blamed for the interception. But as I recall, Young replied, “I threw an interception. It was my responsibility. I’m the quarterback of this team, and I came up short.” As a result, fans and commentators were tough on Young. But the coaches and other players (who knew that the interception had been the receiver’s fault) responded to Young’s stepping up and taking the blame with a huge increase in loyalty and trust.

  A good leader takes more than their fair share of the blame and gives more than their share of the credit.

  —ARNOLD GLASNOW

  Another great example is Scott Waddle, former commander of the USS Greeneville—the 6,900-ton nuclear sub that crashed into a Japanese fishing vessel off the Hawaiian coast, killing nine people. During the investigation, it became clear that there were many people in the chain of command, and many mistakes had been made by junior officers and crewmembers in not relaying information properly to Waddle. But Commander Waddle stepped up and—at great personal cost—took full and sole responsibility as leader of the crew. Against the strong advice of his legal counsel, Waddle testified on his own behalf in the inquiry. He said:

  For my entire career, including the day 9 February, 2001, I have done my duty to the best of my ability . . . . If I made a mistake or mistakes, those mistakes were honest and well intentioned. I’m truly sorry for this accident. It has been a tragedy for the families of those lost, for the crew of the USS Greeneville, for their families, for the submarine force, for me, and for my family. I understand by speaking now I may be forfeiting my ability to successfully defend myself at a court-martial . . . . This court and the families need to hear from me despite the personal legal prejudice to me . . . and because it is the right thing to do.

  Waddle was stripped of his command and he resigned from the navy. He traveled to Japan to offer his personal apologies to the family members of the victims of the incident. Even though this ended his military career, the way he took personal responsibility and handled this entire process gained Waddle enormous credibility, respect, and trust—both in and out of the military and within society at large.

  Contrast these examples with the behavior of Michael Brown, former director of the Federal Emergency Management Agency (FEMA), with regard to accusations surrounding the U.S. federal government’s response to Hurricane Katrina. After he testified before Congress, the front-page headline in USA Today captured its perception of Brown’s testimony with the following headline: “Ex-FEMA Chief Blames Locals.” The article begins:

  In a combative hearing pitting an unapologetic Michael Brown against frustrated members of Congress, the former FEMA director defended his handling of Hurricane Katrina and laid the blame for evacuation failures on Louisiana Gov. Kathleen Blanco and New Orleans Mayor Ray Nagin.

  CNN.com’s headline was similar: “Brown Puts Blame on Louisiana Officials.” While accepting some responsibility, Brown essentially said, “It wasn’t my fault. It was the fault of the local government.” Many felt that he not only failed to deliver, he also pointed the finger, attempting to shift the blame to others.

  One reason why taking responsibility and holding ourselves accountable is challenging is that we live in an increasingly victimized society. To Practice Accountability is essentially a 180-degree turn from this basic, overwhelming cultural phenomenon of victimization. As the Russian proverb says, “Success has many fathers while failure is an orphan.”

  The reason people blame things on the previous generation is that there’s only one other choice.

  —DOUG LARSON, AMERICAN JOURNALIST

  On the other hand, this is also a reason why taking responsibility is so powerful in building trust. While victimization creates dependency and distrust, accountability creates independency and trust. And the geometric effect is powerful. When people—particularly leaders—hold themselves accountable, it encourages others to do the same. When a leader says, “I could have done that better—and I should have!” it encourages others to respond, “Well, no, I was really the one who should have noticed that. I could have supported you more.”

  This is also true in a marriage or a family. When someone says, “I’m sorry I spent that money impulsively. That wasn’t in harmony with our agreement,” or “I shouldn’t have yelled at you. That didn’t show respect,” or, on the other hand, “I committed to you that I’d be there, and I was,” that acknowledgment of accountability encourages others to be accountable for their own behavior. It also creates an environment of openness and trust.

  HOLD OTHERS ACCOUNTABLE

  In addition to holding yourself accountable, it’s important to hold others accountable, both at work and at home. In truth, people respond to accountability—particularly the performers. They want to be held accountable. They feel trust grow with bosses, leaders, team members, peers, and other stakeholders as they are given the opportunity to account for performing well. They also feel the increase of their own self trust and self-confidence as they repeatedly make and keep performance commitments.

  In addition, performers also want others to be held accountable. They thrive in an environment where they know that everyone is expected to step up and be responsible, where they can trust that slackers and poor performers won’t just slip by.

  Get good people and expect them to perform. Terminate them quickly and fairly if you make the wrong choice.

  —J. WILLARD MARRIOTT JR., CHAIRMAN EMERITUS, MARRIOTT INTERNATIONAL

  Accountability builds extraordinary trust in the culture when people feel secure in the knowledge that everyone will be held to certain standards. When leaders don’t hold people accountable, the opposite is true. People feel it’s unfair: “Well, look what he did . . . and he got off scot-free!” It creates a sense of disappointment, inequity, and insecurity. You see this a lot in families where discipline is inconsistent, where a parent will hold one child accountable and not another, or will hold a child accountable in one situation and not another.

  With my son’s permission, I’d like to share a personal story about this behavior. When Stephen turned 16, he got his driver’s license. Jeri and I sat down with him and said, “Okay, if you want to drive, there are certain rules and responsibilities that we need to talk about.” We wrote up a one-page contract containing all the rules you might expect—things such as “drive safely,” “use seat belts,” and “obey the laws.” We also said that in order to maintain driving privileges, he needed to do other things, including fulfilling his responsibilities at home and maintaining good grades.

  Less than a month after Stephen began driving, his football team was eliminated in the play-offs. Everyone was discouraged. Stephen and a couple of his friends went out in the car. About midnight, I got a call from the police. Stephen had been pulled over for driving fast—really fast. There was no drinking or anything like that inv
olved, but the infraction was sufficient that the police had given me a call. I told the officer that I would come and pick him up. Jeri came with me to bring the other car home.

  Jeri and I had been clear with Stephen on expectations: “If you don’t obey the law, you will lose the privilege to drive.” Now it was a question of holding him accountable. And, as any parent who has ever had a teenager knows, it isn’t easy. We realized that life had become a lot simpler now that he had been providing his own transportation and sometimes helping out with errands and other family needs. If we stuck to our agreement, we were going to lose all that. Besides, I felt a little sorry for him. He was only 16. The fine was huge. How was he ever going to pay it? What was this going to do to his reputation and relationship with his friends? And what was it going to do to his relationship with us?

  I realized that we really had no choice. Stephen needed to be held accountable. And we needed to hold him accountable. If we didn’t, how was he going to feel he could trust us? And how could the other kids trust us? Clearly this was an issue that impacted not only Stephen, but the whole family culture, as well.

  In the end, Stephen paid the ticket. It cost him $555, which took almost all his savings from his summer job. While law enforcement officials did not suspend his license, we did—not forever, but for the several months we had designated in our agreement. It was very, very hard on him. But he learned a lesson, and he’s been a model driver ever since. In fact, he gained the reputation as the safe driver among his friends. It actually became a joke with his friends that whenever they were all going somewhere and their parents told them to be careful and safe, the kids would reply, “Don’t worry—we’re going with Covey!” That clearly meant they would be going the speed limit, wearing seat belts, and obeying the law.

  A great example of holding people accountable on the job is Ursula Burns, former Chairwoman and CEO of Xerox. When she was president of the Business Group Operations at Xerox, her style in operations review meetings was to call on people who had missed their goals. As reported in Fortune, “She’d say, ‘Jim, you blew it; tell us what happened.’ ” Burns wasn’t mean about it, but she was relentless. Betsy Morris described the effect of Burns’ style in the same magazine, noting that, “Pretty soon people got the message: If they met their goals, they got to sit back and watch the others squirm.”

  It’s not always easy to hold others accountable. In fact, sometimes it’s really hard. But the benefits in terms of trust are incredible. There is a definite and direct connection to speed and cost.

  TRUST TIPS

  On the bell curve for this behavior, the peak clearly reflects the power of the 4 Cores. On the left side of the curve, you have underowning. This comes from failure to appropriately accept full responsibility or follow through with accountability . . . or failure to create an effective system of accountability in an organization or family. To move to the “sweet spot” often necessitates strengthening character (Integrity and Intent), particularly in holding ourselves accountable. But it always necessitates strengthening Competence—improving your ability to consistently define and meet personal expectations and also to create accountability in a culture, whether at home or at work.

  On the right side of the curve is overowning. It’s the person who takes the blame for everything in a broken marriage, including detestable things done by his/her spouse. It’s the child who takes responsibility for his/her parents’ bad relationship or divorce. It’s parents who do everything possible to appropriately raise a child and then feel guilty and responsible when that child uses his/her agency to make bad choices. It’s managers who use accountability with the wrong intent—to punish, to validate their poor opinion of someone instead of to help them produce results and to improve. It’s businesspeople who take responsibility for the effects of things they can’t control, like currency fluctuations or interest rates. Moving back to the “sweet spot” requires both character and competence, and the judgment created by all 4 Cores.

  As you work to Practice Accountability, you might try one of the following:

  • Listen to your language and to your thoughts. When things go wrong and you find yourself blaming or accusing others, stop. Draw back and ask yourself, How can I close the window and focus on the mirror? In your mind, compare the difference in establishing trust between an approach of blaming and pointing fingers versus an approach of taking personal responsibility.

  • At work, Practice Accountability by holding your direct reports accountable for their actions. Always clarify expectations first so that everyone knows what they’re accountable for and by when. When people account to you, allow them to evaluate themselves first against the results you’ve agreed upon (most people will be tougher on themselves than you’ll be); then follow through with the agreed-upon or natural consequences of people performing (or not). Remember, the people you rely upon most in your company—the performers—like to be held accountable and want others to be held accountable, too.

  • Look for ways to create an environment of accountability in your home. Set up trust talks with your partner on matters you’ve agreed to work together on, such as finances. Create agreements with your children concerning their responsibilities at home, and include consequences—both natural and logical, both good and bad. Follow through on your agreements. Give family members a person—and a culture—they can trust.

  SUMMARY: BEHAVIOR #10—PRACTICE ACCOUNTABILITY

  Hold yourself accountable first; hold others accountable second. Take responsibility for results, good or bad. Be clear on how you’ll communicate how you’re doing—and how others are doing. Don’t avoid or shirk responsibility. Don’t blame others or point fingers when things go wrong.

  BEHAVIOR #11: LISTEN FIRST

  If there is any great secret of success in life, it lies in the ability to put yourself in the other person’s place and to see things from his point of view—as well as your own.

  —HENRY FORD

  As we look now at Behavior #11—Listen First—we move into the final three behaviors, which require an almost equal blend of character and competence.

  To Listen First means not only to really listen (to genuinely seek to understand another person’s thoughts, feelings, experience, and point of view), but to do it first (before you try to diagnose, influence, or prescribe).

  I learned a little about the value of listening first years ago when I was in high school. I decided to join the debate team, and I was excited to debate my first case. As I was making my presentation, I noticed that at certain times, the judge would lift his hand and move it in quick, circular motions. I thought he was trying to tell me to elaborate on the point I’d just made, so I came back at it from another angle. This happened repeatedly, so I kept coming back to my points in different ways time and time again. I remember thinking that I must not be doing a very good job making my points.

  After the debate was over, however, I discovered that what the judge was actually trying to communicate to me was the exact opposite of what I had thought. He was saying, “Right. I got the point. Move on!” What an embarrassment it was to me (and a loss to our team) that I had not understood!

  Years later, I ran into a similar situation when I was doing a presentation for a group from a large corporation. I was facilitating a discussion about the company culture, bringing up all kinds of jugular issues. People were really involved and participating. Suddenly things got very quiet and nobody seemed to want to talk about the tough issues anymore. Unbeknownst to me, the plant manager (whom nobody trusted) had walked into the room and sat down in the group. Sensing my confusion, someone behind this man finally pointed to him, trying to communicate, “He’s here. He’s the reason why we’re all being quiet.” But I interpreted his pointing to mean, “Ask him. Call on him.” So—to the dismay of both my colleagues and the entire group of participants—I did just that. (Let me just say that it was not one of my better experiences in presenting!)

  I’m sure you get th
e point. It’s vital to listen, to understand first. Otherwise you may be acting on assumptions that are totally incorrect—acting in ways that turn out to be embarrassing and counterproductive.

  The principles behind Listen First include understanding, respect, and mutual benefit. The opposite is to speak first and listen last—or not to listen at all. It’s focusing on getting out your agenda without considering whether others may have information, ideas, or perspectives that could influence what you have to say. It’s ignoring other people’s need to be understood—often before they’re ready to listen to anyone else. It’s self-focused, ego-driven behavior, and it does not build trust.

  We’ve all heard the criticism “he talks too much.” When was the last time you heard someone criticized for listening too much?

  —NORM AUGUSTINE, FORMER CHAIRMAN, LOCKHEED MARTIN

  The counterfeit is pretend listening. It’s spending “listening” time thinking about your reply and just waiting for your turn to speak. Or it’s listening without understanding. In either case, you’re not influenced by what others have to say, and usually those you “listen” to don’t feel understood, even though you’ve given them the time.

  Interestingly, when I have interviews or when people come up to me with questions after a program or presentation, I find that, by far, Listen First is the behavior I recommend most. It’s the starting point in almost any situation. So often, the problems people have, both at work and at home, come because they don’t really Listen First. Perhaps this is why the cumulative data from our tens of thousands of trust surveys shows that Listen First is the lowest rated (i.e., least practiced) of the 13 Behaviors.

 

‹ Prev