Once again, I affirm that especially in our new collaborative economy, the ability to establish, grow, extend, and restore trust is the key professional and personal competency of our time. And the ability to exercise Smart Trust is a vital part of that competency. It will enable you to create a powerful balance and synergy between analysis and the propensity to trust, which, in turn, will produce the judgment that enables you to effectively leverage yourself and to inspire the talent, creativity, synergy, and highest contribution of others.
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I. To learn the rest of Anna’s story, go to www.speedoftrust.com/book-promises.
RESTORING TRUST WHEN IT HAS BEEN LOST
Men build too many walls and not enough bridges.
—SIR ISAAC NEWTON
I recently read an article by a leading business author who wrote:
The truth is, you can’t regain trust. Period. You doubt? Think hard about the times you’ve been betrayed. Did the villain ever find their way back into your heart? If you’re like the thousands I’ve asked, the answer is never. Trust can be gained once and lost once. Once lost, it’s lost forever.
Perhaps you’ve had experiences that seem to validate this position. Maybe you’ve broken trust in a professional or personal relationship, and you’ve tried to restore it, but failed. Or maybe someone has broken trust with you, and you vowed you would never again trust that person—no matter what! Or perhaps you vowed that you would never trust anyone again.
Obviously broken trust creates pain, disappointment, and loss. It wreaks havoc with relationships, partnerships, plans, dreams, and enterprises of all kinds.
I am the first to admit that there are situations in which trust cannot be restored. The violation has been too severe, the betrayal too deep, the pain too great. Trust has been shattered, and there is no way to put the pieces back together in a viable whole. In fact, there may not even be an opportunity to try to restore it. Thus, I heartily agree with those who say that the best approach, by far, is to never violate trust in the first place. Trust is not something to be taken for granted; it is something to be built up, valued, cherished, protected, and carefully preserved.
However, the nature of life is such that all of us will undoubtedly have to deal with broken trust at some time—maybe a number of times—during our lives. Sometimes we do something stupid. We make a mistake in a personal or professional relationship, and we’re brought up short by a severely depleted or even overdrawn Trust Account. Suddenly suspicion replaces synergy. An association is severed. Business is taken elsewhere. A family is torn apart. Retribution is sought.
At other times, we may make an honest mistake or demonstrate some failure of competence, only to discover our behavior is being interpreted as a violation of character—which is much harder to restore.
“Look at what you did!”
“But I didn’t mean to . . .”
“But I was only trying to . . .”
As we discussed earlier in the chapter introducing the 13 Behaviors, it’s not just how we behave that affects trust. It’s also the interpretations people make of those behaviors and the conclusions people draw from them that affect trust. Again, as Nietzsche said, “There are no facts, only interpretations.” Remember, people tend to judge others based on behavior and judge themselves based on intent. Thus, poor but well-intended behavior can lead others to assume bad intent, which significantly increases the withdrawal and the difficulty of restoring trust.
On the other side of the coin, there may be times when others break trust with us and we’re faced with the decision of how to deal with it. Maybe a business partner misuses funds, a team member doesn’t come through on a responsibility, a supplier bad-mouths us to others in the industry, a spouse independently and impulsively uses the credit card, a child repeatedly breaks curfew. How we handle these violations of trust may well influence business relationships and opportunities, civic associations, our personal happiness and that of our families—even for generations to come.
So what do we do?
Is it really possible to restore trust?
Is it wise—or foolish—to even try?
THE CHALLENGE IS THE OPPORTUNITY
As I said in Chapter 1, the idea that trust cannot be restored once it is lost is a myth. Though it may be difficult, in most cases, lost trust can be restored—and often even enhanced!
For example, that night I got called by the police at midnight to pick up my son for excessive speeding, my trust in him took a nosedive. Jeri and I had gone to great lengths to spell out the conditions on which Stephen would be allowed to drive the family car. And he had agreed to those stipulations. Then he’d consciously gone out and violated one of the most important ones—to abide by the law.
However, the trust we were willing to extend to Stephen before his infraction has not only been restored, it has actually increased. I can honestly say that my trust in Stephen is infinitely stronger today than it was before this experience, and a good part of the reason is a result of of what happened as we worked through the process.
As Stephen admitted his violation, apologized, and spent months working through the challenges of paying the fine and suffering the consequences of his actions, he grew in understanding, maturity, and resolve to never be in that position again. His personal credibility increased. He strengthened his Integrity and improved his Intent. He increased his Capabilities by finding more mature ways to handle disappointment in his life. He produced Results—better attitudes, better habits, better driving, even to the point that he became the acknowledged “safe” driver among his peers. Unknowingly he also implemented some of the 13 Behaviors. He worked to Confront Reality, Right Wrongs, Deliver Results, Keep Commitments, and Get Better. In doing so, he strengthened his own core and also his relationship with us.
Because I’ve seen Stephen go through this process—because he has been tested and our relationship has been tested, and Stephen came through—I truly feel that our Trust Account is much higher than it’s ever been. Painful though it was, the situation provided the opportunity for him and for us to learn, get better, and build trust.
One of the greatest obstacles to building and restoring trust is the superficial, two-dimensional paradigm that the ideal life is challenge-free. It’s not. We are going to have challenges. We are going to make mistakes. And others are going to make mistakes that affect us. That’s life. The issue is how we respond to those things—whether or not we choose to prioritize the enormous long-term dividends of trust over whatever temporary satisfaction we may get from doing things that break trust, trying to justify low-trust behavior, holding grudges, or failing to forgive.
I am absolutely convinced that in most cases, prioritizing trust—actively seeking to establish it, grow it, restore it, and wisely extend it—will bring personal and organizational dividends that far exceed any other path. So while trying to restore trust may be difficult, it is definitely worth it. Even if trust is not restored in the particular relationship you’re working on, your efforts to restore it will increase your ability to build trust in other relationships.
As in almost every other aspect of life, breakdowns can create breakthroughs. Challenges and mistakes can become some of our greatest opportunities to learn, grow, and improve. With that in mind, let’s look now at what we can do to restore trust—first, when we have broken trust with others, and second, when others have broken trust with us. In both cases, the key is in the 4 Cores and 13 Behaviors. Not only do they help us establish trust, they also enable us to restore it.
WHEN YOU HAVE LOST THE TRUST OF OTHERS
Whether you lose the trust of others through a conscious act of betrayal, poor judgment, an honest mistake, a failure of competence, or a simple misunderstanding, the path to restoration is the same—to increase your personal credibility and behave in ways that inspire trust.
However, understanding how trust was lost in the first place is an important key to understanding how to apply the Cores and Behav
iors in attempting to restore it. Generally speaking, a loss of trust created by a violation of character (Integrity or Intent) is far more difficult to restore than a loss of trust created by a violation of competence (Capabilities or Results). Violations of Integrity are the most difficult of all to restore in all relationships, whether they are personal, family, professional, organizational, or in the marketplace.
Keep in mind that when you talk about restoring trust, you’re talking about changing someone else’s feelings about you and confidence in you. And that’s not something you can control. You can’t force people to trust you. You can’t make them have confidence in you. They may be dealing with other issues in their own lives that make the challenge more difficult for them. Or they may have interpreted a breach of competence on your part as a breach of character, which significantly complicates the issue. The point is that you can only do what you can do. But that’s a lot. And even if you’re unable to restore trust in a particular situation or relationship, by strengthening your Cores and making habits of the Behaviors, you will increase your ability to establish or restore trust in other situations and relationships throughout your life.
So keep in mind that we’re not talking here about “fixing” someone else. You can’t do that. But you can give to others someone who is credible and worthy of trust and behaves in ways that inspire trust. And experience shows that this kind of example over time will do more than anything else you could do to restore trust.
RESTORING TRUST ON ALL LEVELS
Now let’s look at some examples in each of the 5 Waves and see how credibility and behavior can help you restore trust on every level. Notice how, in many of the situations, going through the challenge of dealing with broken trust provides the foundation for even greater trust.
Societal Trust
Restoring trust on the societal level means rebuilding trust in countries, institutions, industries, professions, and in other people generally. It includes counteracting suspicion and cynicism and replacing it with contribution, value creation, and ethical behavior.
There are many data points that indicate trust can be improved in society. For example, shortly following the Enron and WorldCom scandals, a Watson Wyatt study showed employee trust in management had dropped to only 44 percent but a second Watson Wyatt study done just a couple of years later showed the number had increased to 51 percent.
The Edelman Trust Barometer research, which has measured trust in countries every year since 2001, clearly shows that just as societies can decline in trust through a loss of credibility or misbehavior, they can also increase and improve in trust through their credibility and behavior—and many countries have.
In the Republic of Ireland, for example, leaders over the past 40 years have changed the nation’s focus from inward to outward. They have moved the nation from economic independence to interdependence. They have overhauled a once archaic educational system to make Ireland one of the world’s undisputed education leaders. They have improved labor harmony through purposeful collaboration, wooed back expatriates, and helped Ireland become a major technology player, ultimately attracting foreign investment—in fact, drawing nearly 20 percent of U.S. investment in Europe, with only 1 percent of the European population, and ranking number six among all countries in IMD’s World Competitiveness Rankings. Even with the ripple effect challenges of Britain’s withdrawal from the European Union, Ireland is positioned to do well.
The leadership of the Republic of Ireland has done all of this through a conscious and collaborative effort that included behaviors such as Confront Reality, Get Better, and Deliver Results. In consequence, they have built up their global credibility and trust as a nation. And they have been able to do it in the midst of a technologically disruptive environment. In fact, as Ireland’s former Prime Minister Bertie Ahern observed: “Technology is clearly the driving force for us. It has given a whole new generation of Irish people confidence. It has helped create employment and stem the huge tide of emigration by giving our people a future.”
Market Trust
With regard to Market Trust, it’s true that in many cases, if you violate a customer’s trust, you’re not going to get a second chance. Ultimately that decision is up to the customer, who may simply choose to not play anymore and go his/her own way. As I said before, this is especially true if the violation has been one of character—particularly of Integrity.
However, in some cases, experience shows that the 4 Cores and 13 Behaviors make it possible to restore—and even enhance—Market Trust. In Tales of Knock Your Socks Off Service, business authors Kristen Anderson and Ron Zemke share the following:
Good friends of ours were celebrating their 25th wedding anniversary. We called to congratulate them, and to check on the flowers we’d ordered for their big day—and for the big party they were having that evening. To our chagrin, what had arrived was hardly the large pair of festive arrangements we had envisioned—it was, instead, a puny potted plant, an itsy-bitsy, teeny thing that, at best, might brighten some little corner of the half bath off their family room.
It was after 6 P.M. and their party was set for 7:30. We called and caught Jerry on his way out the door and explained the foul-up. “Don’t say another word. I’ll fix this right now.” At 7:10 P.M. our friends called back to tell us a truck had just delivered two magnificent arrangements and a centerpiece for their buffet table. Oh—and did I mention? Our friends live in North Carolina—and we, and our florist, live in Minneapolis, one time zone and half a continent away.
When the bill arrived it was for the cost of our original order only, and was hand delivered by Jerry the florist with hat—and a small arrangement—in hand. He apologized again for the problem, and assured it would not happen again. No excuses. No passing the blame to the fulfilling florist in Charlotte. No “You can’t believe the kind of help I have to deal with today.” No nothing; just—“Once again, I’m sorry for the problem. I hope you will think of us again when you think of flowers.” And you can bet we will. And have.
In this situation—as in many situations involving service recovery—the problem itself became the catalyst for the creation of even greater trust as the companies took the issues head-on and worked through the difficult problem in a way that restored confidence. This kind of service recovery can win you a customer for life.
For another example, in the 1990s, Nike was criticized heavily by activists for not being socially responsible, based on the conditions in some of the plants of their foreign manufacturing partners. Chairman Phil Knight took steps to Right Wrongs. He acknowledged the problem as “a bumpy original response, an error for which yours truly was responsible.” By Nike’s actions and behavior over the ensuing years, they have demonstrated tangible results and a strong commitment to elevate the conditions of the entire industry and to be a leading corporate citizen. Nike has been on the “100 Best Corporate Citizens” list every year since 2005, and in 2017, was listed as #29. Trust that may have been initially lost has been restored as they have behaved themselves out of this problem through transparency and accountability.
Organizational Trust
Restoring trust within an organization may seem difficult, particularly if the focus is almost exclusively on producing and is not balanced by the need to maintain the capacity to produce in the future. However, the fact that high-trust organizations outperform low-trust organizations by three times provides a strong incentive to make the effort. High trust not only creates a great working environment, it also provides a powerful competitive edge.
I had a personal experience in losing and then restoring organizational trust during my first weeks as CEO at the Covey Leadership Center. As I went into this position, I deeply questioned the wisdom of continuing to sponsor our education division. I sincerely valued the mission and potential impact of this division, but because we had significantly reduced our pricing to the education marketplace to make it more accessible, the widespread belief and perception was that the divi
sion was not contributing profit to the organization. And unfortunately, we didn’t have good enough financial data at the time to know otherwise.
Although I’d had a good relationship with the employees of the education division in the past, I now found myself facing the director of the group across the table in meetings and challenging the division’s very existence. In addition, I’m sorry to say that I violated some of the 13 Behaviors by talking about it with others behind his back in ways I wouldn’t have had he been present. Obviously these things had a significant negative impact on the balance in the Trust Accounts I had both with the leader and with the entire division.
Finally we got our company’s financial house in order, developed accurate financial reporting systems, and applied activity-based costing and activity-based management techniques to give us a full picture of the real profitability of all our divisions. As it turned out, in spite of discounted pricing, the education division was not only profitable, the margins were almost as high as our top income-producing divisions.
The day the numbers came out, I walked into the director’s office, and I said, “I’m sorry. I was wrong, and I apologize to you and to your whole group. I’m going to make it up to you and your team. I’m going to become the chief advocate for the education division.” And I did. I became the champion of the division. I went out of my way to make sure that everyone knew that education was a profitable business and a well-run operation.
As a result, my Trust Account with the director and with the entire division skyrocketed. Though I had no idea of the impact at the time, the director later told me that my apology was a significant moment for him personally, as well as for the entire group, and that it set the tone for the significant success of the division over the next decade.
The SPEED of Trust: The One Thing that Changes Everything Page 37