by Isha Inamdar
Maybe he really is leaving because of work, Rudra thought, trying to justify Harsh’s departure. He tried to console himself – it couldn’t have been because of what had transpired between Anjana and him.
‘Why did he say he has to leave?’ he asked.
‘He said an important client wants to meet him right away and he can’t be said no to…’ trailed off Maa’s voice as she walked out in a frenzy.
Rudra was unsure of Harsh’s motivations. It was very unlike of Harsh. That just wasn’t him – ever.
Meanwhile, Harsh and Sam were packed and ready to leave. They had supposedly received a call a few hours ago and had been booked onto an early morning flight from New Delhi to Ankara. Since there were no flights from Jodhpur to New Delhi in the evening, they had booked a cab.
Rudra headed towards the duo to walk them to the cab.
‘Hey,’ he said to Sam, who only smiled in acknowledgement. Rudra noticed that the warmth was gone.
In awkward silence, the three of them walked towards the waiting Mercedes. Sam could see Rudra needed a private moment with Harsh and excused himself. He had asked Harsh to talk to Rudra before they left so that Rudra wouldn’t kill himself with guilt. Looking at the two idiotic brothers, he was glad he had had the sense to talk to Harsh. Chatting Harsh’s parents up to keep them occupied, he kept a discreet eye on the brothers who seemed to have broken the ice.
In front of Rudra, however, Harsh clammed up. He had literally practiced his lines with Sam, but now he couldn’t remember a word. He had gone blank, and this wasn’t the first time.
‘I am sorry, Harsh,’ Rudra started apologizing again.
Harsh hugged him hard and said, ‘No, Bhaiyya, don’t be. It’s all right. I’m fine.’
‘But I…’ Rudra tried reasoning his fault with Harsh.
‘No, Bhaiyya, don’t worry about her. NJ probably wasn’t the one for me…’ Harsh said without much emotion.
Rudra found Harsh’s behaviour extremely odd. He sounded too collected to be his baby brother – too cold, rather. How could someone known to be an emotional fool be telling him that everything was okay so easily? Was this even possible? Harsh was probably going to breakup with Anjana. And he seemed unaffected by it – as if this wasn’t his girlfriend and his life that they were talking about. So much had happened, how could he be so detached?
‘Bye, Bhaiyya. Take care,’ came Harsh and Sam’s voice in unison as they sat in the car.
He doesn’t even look sad, thought Rudra.
Maybe he is so hurt that he needs to mask his true feelings to avoid breaking down publicly, Rudra thought. Yeah, that must be it. I hope time will heal him.
Sleepless Nights
12 November, 2010
It had been two days since Harsh had left. Two days of confused, tumultuous solitude that Rudra had spent with himself, of considering all his options but always chickening out of telling Kaavya. He justified his actions by thinking that he didn’t want to spoil her honeymoon. Not answering her calls and not calling her back had been his pathetic attempt at maintaining a distance from her.
Tonight, he was restless, knowing that the time to procrastinate was over. He wasn’t sure why they had cut their honeymoon short, he lay in bed cursing his luck. Kaavya was back tomorrow and his excuse of her honeymoon was up. He knew he needed to tell her the truth, the whole truth, nothing but the truth. He smiled at his lame attempt at a joke. He did suck at it as Anjana had pointed out.
Anjana. It was always her. His mind always came back to her. He had never connected with another living soul as he had with her. She was somehow always on the same page as him. He’d had the best times with her without saying a single word. And if he was being honest, he missed her desperately.
He had even wondered how different everything would have been had they not made out. Until that incident, they had gotten along pretty well. And for once, he had seen a friend for life in someone. He was unsure whether he missed her as a friend more or as someone he had wanted, needed.
Depressed by his own thoughts, he shook his head and stood up. He was supposed to be feeling guilty and apologetic for his actions. And here he was, reminiscing about the times he’d shared with Anjana.
He walked out to the terrace. The night was full and heavy and the only sound he could hear was the rustling of the leaves. He stood holding the parapet, feeling the wind blowing in his face. He wanted to turn around and look at Anjana’s window. For all these years, it had been just another guest room in their house. Now, it was suddenly Anjana’s room! He laughed at his own stupidity.
What are you allowing to happen to yourself, Rudra? Damn you, Anjana.
He went back into his room, fell on the bed agitatedly and closed his eyes. He needed to catch on some sleep. He kept tossing and turning until he could hear the early morning bird song outside his window. Giving up on the idea of sleep, he changed into his running clothes and went for a run.
Battles
13 November, 2010
The moment Kaavya got in the cab from Chandigarh Airport to her in-laws’ house, she was angry with Dhruv. Actually, the word ‘anger’ wasn’t enough to express what she felt – she was full-blown furious. She knew he had shortened their honeymoon for a good reason but that didn’t matter. She. Was. Pissed. Off.
Once the cab was fully on the way to her new home, she called Rudra. It had been six days since she had left for her honeymoon, and she hadn’t spoken with him since then. This must be the longest time we haven’t spoken with each other, she thought as she looked at the time and dialled his number hoping that he would be up by now.
No answer.
Just as she had settled her bags in Dhruv’s bedroom in her in-laws’ place, her mobile phone rang and flashed Rudra’s name.
‘Hieee,’ chirped Kaavya, bringing an instant smile on Rudra’s face on the other side of the phone.
‘Welcome back to India, baby,’ said Rudra. He was surprised by just how happy he was to hear Kaavya’s voice.
‘Thanks! How have you been?’ asked Kaavya.
‘Good,’ Rudra replied, praying that he was able to mask his feelings. He didn’t want to worry her on her first day back. ‘How was Venice?’
‘Why didn’t you call me back? I called so many times!’ asked Kaavya, pretending to be angry.
‘I just did,’ Rudra teased.
‘You know what I am talking about, Bhaiyya,’ she reprimanded him.
‘I didn’t want to disturb you,’ said Rudra. Though he had meant it as a joke, it was the most truthful thing he’d said in a while.
Kaavya could hear the heaviness in Rudra’s voice and she knew that he was upset. Bhaiyya sounds upset … he must be missing me.
‘Bhaiyya, don’t miss me so much! I feel like leaving everything here and coming home,’ she said.
‘Ah … it’s not that, Kaavya!’ Rudra replied, stumbling over his words.
Kaavya felt the tension rise in his voice. Assuming his voice had choked up because of her, she let it go.
They hung up after she had given him a few details about her honeymoon, in-laws and Dhruv. She sat back on the bed with a heavy heart. For months now, she had been excited about the wedding. She had only thought about the new life she was about to start … Dhruv … the shopping… the attention… the nervous adrenaline … the happiness she’d been surrounded by. There had been so much happening that she hadn’t paid much attention to all the worrisome details. Now as she sat alone in Dhruv’s bedroom – their bedroom she corrected herself – she realized that her life had changed completely. Bhaiyya was missing her and she couldn’t see him immediately.
Dhruv came in to ask her to come for dinner and looking at her sombre face, he sensed something amiss and sat next to her quietly.
‘I was just talking to Bhaiyya,’ she said as she saw a worried crease form on Dhruv’s forehead.
A moment later, he placed his hand on hers and smiled. ‘We’ll visit Phalodi soon,’ Dhruv said.
Kaavya rested her head on Dhruv’s shoulder and thought that she was extremely lucky to have found such a supportive and understanding husband who didn’t expect her to abandon her family only because they were now married.
She braced herself knowing that the next few days were going to be chaotic, filled with rituals and meeting extended family members. Being up all day was tiring enough, but smiling from ear-to-ear and being pleasant while all she really wanted to do was kick those people out of the house and laze with her husband was even more exhausting.
As she stared out of the window, enjoying the sunset and her few precious moments of peace, she realized she missed Phalodi. It was just the first day since they were back from their honeymoon and Kaavya found herself waiting to move to either Mumbai or Delhi. She had always dreamt about living in Mumbai, more so since Harsh had shifted there. But she was certain that even Delhi would be better than life in Chandigarh where she was living now, in a house full of strangers.
‘I got the call!’ exclaimed Dhruv suddenly.
Kaavya jumped up excitedly and beaming at Dhruv, she asked, ‘And…?’
‘Mumbai it is!’ his voice loud with happiness.
‘I am so proud of you, D!’ squealed Kaavya and jumped into his waiting arms.
Kaavya could see his chest swell with pride. This was indeed an achievement for someone at the age of twenty-eight. She looked fondly at her husband and thought of how proud she was of him and just how much she loved him.
‘Ah haan?’ said Dhruv, while smiling to himself.
Pretending to be upset, Kaavya pushed him back and asked with a raised eyebrow, ‘What exactly do you mean by “ah haan”?’
‘Nothing, my lady,’ replied Dhruv as he deliberately failed at masking his smirk.
‘Tell me now,’ commanded Kaavya.
‘You know, you look damn cute when you try to boss me around,’ dodged Dhruv.
Kaavya turned away from him with a ‘humph’ and started sulking. The one thing she had found out about Dhruv was that he loved her too much to let her sulk. He came to her and put his arms around her, and she knew she had won again.
‘I was merely remembering that day when I had told you about cutting short the honeymoon and you decided to pick a fight with me. You didn’t seem to show too much confidence in me that day!’
‘Bullshit! I was purely disappointed at having to return early from Venice,’ Kaavya answered fervently. ‘And I stopped being upset once you told me that you’d been tipped about the job being confirmed.’
Dhruv remembered the fight differently. However, he was somebody who didn’t believe in proving his point against the person he loved and hugged her tight. He believed that if the person was more important than being right, he would love to be proven wrong again and again … only so that he could love that person, again and again.
She hugged him back harder and asked, ‘So, when are we leaving for Mumbai?’
‘Tomorrow.’
‘What! But that’s impossible! How can I possibly…’
‘The apartment the company is providing is ready to move in. All we have to take is our personal belongings,’ he said soothingly.
Kaavya was unsure if they would manage to pull off this feat. She had less than twenty-four hours to move to a new city. She was nearly panicking when Dhruv pulled her into another hug and said, ‘We’ll manage, baby.’
Suddenly, everything felt better and as the panic receded, excitement started to fill her. She was actually going to go live in her dream city – Mumbai!
Her first instinct was to call Bhaiyya and give him the news. However, just at the thought of him, her spirits fell. He had sounded so low just now. She picked up her phone and made the call pretending to ask about Harsh’s return dates. She knew Rudra was fretting too much about her and he needed to get used to living without her.
She told him about Mumbai and he sounded genuinely happy. Rudra wanted to talk to Dhruv and congratulate him on getting the job, and so she handed the phone to her husband. She started with the packing, lost in thought. Mumbai meant she would be far away from Rudra, but closer to Harsh. She decided to surprise Harsh and NJ by showing up at their place instead of letting them know.
Soon, there were lists being made and tempers flying. Kaavya and Dhruv packed and unpacked before finally packing again. Dhruv began to realize that even though they were moving into a completely set-up house, they would be carrying a lot more stuff than just clothes. By the time they hit the bed, it was well past midnight and they were exhausted.
As Dhruv pulled her close, she looked up to him and asked, ‘Have I told you that I love you?’
Dhruv looked at her with mesmerized eyes and said, ‘Yes, I believe you have.’ Kaavya had used the ‘L’ word only once so far and tonight, he seemed to be hitting the jackpot! She snuggled into his embrace, feeling happy and content.
‘Why don’t you show me how much?’ he asked, as his hands moved freely on her back, making her breathing ragged.
‘Now?’ she asked. Instead of answering her, Dhruv pulled himself on top of her and began undressing her.
That night Rudra too couldn’t sleep, and so he went for a walk in the garden. If Kaavya’s call inquiring about Harsh’s return dates hadn’t been enough, Maa had also told him Kaavya had called asking for Harsh’s address.
He had told Kaavya to stay away from Harsh at least for a few days saying Harsh was quite caught up with work. He wanted to give Harsh time to cool down and talk to Kaavya before that, but he had this gut feeling that she was about to do the exact opposite.
He was extremely happy for Dhruv. Having scored a senior job in one of the top agencies in Mumbai was great for his career. However, the timing was as bad as it could get. Harsh needed some time to be able to forgive Rudra and it looked like the oblivious Kaavya was going to fall right in the middle of the mess. She would probably end up getting Harsh even more riled up.
He also felt a small hope that perhaps, unknowingly, Kaavya might do some good. Perhaps Harsh might forgive him and Anjana both. Once again, he found himself wondering about Anjana. What had it been about her that had made him lose control? Nobody had ever had such an effect on him. He just couldn’t understand it or get her out of his thoughts.
When Rudra heard the early morning bird song, he realized he’d been sitting on the bench all night and shook himself out of his thoughts and dreams about Anjana.
440
14 November, 2010
‘Google Aunty had predicted a twenty-seven-minute drive. It’s already been more than forty minutes of driving around and we still haven’t reached!’ cribbed Kaavya.
‘Welcome to Mumbai, my love!’ crowed Dhruv, much to Kaavya’s annoyance.
It was late evening and they were headed from Andheri, a suburb of Mumbai to Bandra, the hip heart of Mumbai, to Harsh’s place to surprise him. Harsh was on his way back from Turkey and Dhruv had checked with the airlines for a status update on his flight and had been told that it had reached Doha from Ankara, for their layover, on time. However, on the way to Harsh’s, they had caught the evening rush hour traffic. For small-town folks like Dhruv and Kaavya, the traffic was horrendous. The way to Bandra seemed like pandemonium. There were a few areas where there had been hawkers on the footpath, shoppers, jaywalkers and others walking haphazardly on the road leading to a lot of honking and cussing – it was pure chaos.
Bandra, however, seemed different. Even though the market area that they had crossed had been equally chaotic, other roads felt quite orderly. This was probably because the roads were bigger and the lanes were quieter with no shops, hawkers or crowds. The place had a calmer feel to it. Luckily, Dhruv found a parking spot exactly outside Harsh’s building. They walked to the building in silence, each lost in their own thoughts.
‘It’s the fourth floor,’ said Kaavya excitedly as she walked into the elevator.
As they got out on the fourth floor and walked towards Flat 402, she was half-running towards the door to ring th
e doorbell insistently.
‘It’s locked,’ said Dhruv as Kaavya was about to ring the bell for the third time.
‘Is the address correct?’ asked Dhruv. He noticed the nameplate that read “Sam & Harsh” in bold letters with a later addition which read “& NJ”.
‘Sam stays with these guys?’ said Kaavya, surprised.
‘Sam who?’ asked Dhruv.
Kaavya suddenly looked like a lovesick puppy and said, ‘Sam! Harsh’s handsome friend! He was at our wedding, Dhruv!’
Dhruv now remembered the handsome friend. Sam had recently quit Old Fox, the Mumbai agency that Dhruv was now joining. Dhruv had grilled Sam about the management, the people and the work culture. He remembered Sam – how could he not? He had felt a teensy bit jealous as well. Sam was just too good-looking for his own good.
‘Yeah, I remember Sam all right,’ said Dhruv as he fished out his mobile and called the Turk Air helpline once again.
Hanging up, he motioned Kaavya towards the lift and said, ‘The flight from Doha to Mumbai has been delayed by twenty-four hours.’
‘Shit!’
‘Don’t you have NJ’s number?’ Dhruv asked.
‘No,’ Kaavya wailed.
Kaavya was annoyed. They had driven for nearly an hour to surprise Harsh and NJ, and Turk Air had managed to fuck their plans up.
‘Where do you want to get dinner?’ asked Dhruv when they stepped out of the elevator. Kaavya was visibly tired and upset but he wanted to celebrate their first day in Mumbai.
As they were walking out of the gate, the guard called out to them, pointing to a register, saying, ‘Saheb, entry.’
Dhruv motioned Kaavya to continue to the car and quickly walked towards the guard’s desk and began making the entry.
‘Why didn’t you make an entry on your way in?’ questioned the guard when he saw Dhruv making a new one.
Dhruv was nonplussed. ‘You weren’t here when we went in, Bhaiyya, and I didn’t know we were supposed to fill our details before going in or I would have,’ he replied politely.