My Sister's Hand in Mine

by Jane Bowles

LIONEL Yes, I do, but of course that isn’t life. I have fun too, in between worrying … fun, dancing, and eating, and swimming … and being with you. I like to be with you because you seem to only half hear me. I think I could say just the opposite and it wouldn’t sound any different to you. Now why do I like that? Because it makes me feel very peaceful. Usually if I tell my feelings to a person I don’t want to see them any more. That’s another peculiar quirk of mine. Also there’s something very familiar about you, even though I never met you before two months ago. I don’t know what it is quite … your face … your voice … (Taking her hand) or maybe just your hand. (Holds her hand for a moment, deep in thought) I hope I’m not going to dread it all for too long. Because it doesn’t feel right to me, just working at the Lobster Bowl. It’s nice though really … Inez is always around if you want company. She can set up oyster cocktails faster than anyone on the coast. That’s what she claims, anyway. She has some way of checking. You’d like Inez.

  MOLLY I don’t like girls.

  LIONEL Inez is a grown-up woman. A kind of sturdy rock-of-Gibraltar type but very high strung and nervous too. Every now and then she blows up. (MOLLY rises suddenly and crosses to the rock) Well, I guess it really isn’t so interesting to be there, but it is outside of the world and gloomy ideas. Maybe it’s the decorations. It doesn’t always help though, things come creeping in anyway.

  MOLLY (Turning to LIONEL) What?

  LIONEL Well, like what ministers talk about … the valley of the Shadow of Death and all that … or the world comes creeping in. I feel like it’s a warning that I shouldn’t stay too long. That I should go back to St. Louis. It would be tough though. Now I’m getting too deep in. I suppose you live mainly from day to day. That’s the way girls live mainly, isn’t it?

  MOLLY (Crossing back to LIONEL) I don’t know. I’m all right as long as I can keep from getting mad. It’s hard to keep from getting mad when you see through people. Most people can’t like I do. I’d emphasize that all right. The rest of the stuff doesn’t bother me much. A lot of people want to yank you out and get in themselves. Girls do anyway. I haven’t got anything against men. They don’t scheme the way girls do. But I keep to myself as much as I can.

  LIONEL Well, there’s that angle too, but my point of view is different. Have you thought any more about marrying me if your mother marries Mr. Solares? I know we’re both young, but you don’t want to go to business school and she’s sure to send you there if she marries him. She’s always talking about it. She’d be in Mexico most of the year and you’d be in business school. We could live over the Lobster Bowl and get all the food we wanted free, and it’s good food. Mr. Solares and Mrs. Lopez liked it when they went to eat there.

  MOLLY Yes, I know they did.

  LIONEL Well?

  MOLLY I won’t think of it until it happens. I can’t picture anything being any different than it is. I feel I might just plain die if everything changes, but I don’t imagine it will.

  LIONEL You should look forward to change.

  MOLLY I don’t want anything different.

  LIONEL Then you are afraid of the future just like me.

  MOLLY (Stubbornly) I don’t think much about the future.

  (VIVIAN returns from her swim.)

  LIONEL (To MOLLY) Well, even if you don’t think much about the future you have to admit that …

  (He is interrupted by VIVIAN who rushes up to them, almost stumbling in her haste.)

  VIVIAN (Plopping down next to LIONEL and shaking out her wet hair) Wait ’til you hear this…! (LIONEL is startled. VIVIAN is almost swooning with delight, to LIONEL) It’s so wonderful … I can hardly talk about it … I saw the whole thing in front of my eyes … Just now while I was swimming …

  LIONEL What?

  VIVIAN Our restaurant.

  LIONEL What restaurant?

  VIVIAN Our restaurant. The one we’re going to open together, right now, as soon as we can. I’ll tell you about it … But only on one condition … You have to promise you won’t put a damper on it, and tell me it’s not practical.

  (Shaking him.)

  LIONEL (Bored) All right.

  VIVIAN Well, this is it. I’m going to sell all the jewelry my grandmother left me and we’re going on a trip. We’re going to some city I don’t know which but some big city that will be as far from here as we can get. Then we’ll take jobs and when we have enough money we’ll start a restaurant. We could start it on credit with just the barest amount of cash. It’s not going to be just an ordinary restaurant but an odd one where everyone sits on cushions instead of on chairs. We could dress the waiters up in those flowing Turkish bloomers and serve very expensive oriental foods, all night long. It will be called Restaurant Midnight. Can you picture it?

  LIONEL (Very bored) Well, yes … in a way …

  VIVIAN Well, I can see the whole thing … very small lamps and perfume in the air, no menus, just silent waiters … bringing in elaborate dishes one after the other … and music. We could call it “Minuit”… as it is in French … But either way we must leave soon … I can’t go on this way with my mother snooping around … I can’t be tied down … I’ve tried running off before, when I felt desperate … But things didn’t work out … maybe because I never had a real friend before … But now I have you— (She stops, suddenly aware of MOLLY—then with a certain diffidence) and Molly, of course, she must come too—we understand each other even if she is still waters run deep. She has to escape from her mother too …

  (MOLLY starts at the word “mother.” Her face blackens.)

  LIONEL Molly, you’re shivering … Why didn’t you say something? (Looking up) The sun’s gone behind a cloud, no wonder you’re cold … I can go back to the house and get you a jacket, unless you want to come along and go home now too. (MOLLY does not move) I’ll go and get it. Sit nearer the rocks you’ll be out of the wind. Vivian, do you want something heavier than that?

  (Points to her robe.)

  VIVIAN No, thanks. I’m much too excited about Restaurant Midnight to notice anything. Besides I’m not very conscious of the physical. (LIONEL exits. MOLLY gets up and walks to the rocks leading to the cliff) Have you ever eaten Armenian vine leaves with little pine nuts inside of them?

  (MOLLY is climbing the rocks.)

  MOLLY Don’t follow me …

  VIVIAN Oh their wonderful flaky desserts with golden honey poured …

  MOLLY Don’t follow me!

  VIVIAN (Tapering off) … all over them …

  MOLLY The day you came I was standing on the porch watching you. I heard everything you said. You put your arm around my mother, and you told her she had beautiful hair, then you saw my summer house and you told her how much you loved it. You went and sat in it and you yelled, Come out, Molly. I’m in your little house. You’ve tried in every way since you came to push me out. She hates you.

  VIVIAN What?

  MOLLY My mother hates you! She hates you!

  VIVIAN (After recovering from her shock starts out after her in a rage) That’s a lie, a rotten lie … She doesn’t hate me … She’s ashamed of you … ashamed of you. (Exits, then repeating several times off stage) She’s ashamed of you … ashamed of you …

  (Her voice is muffled by the entrance of the Mexicans and GERTRUDE. The servants head the procession, chattering like magpies and singing. MR. SOLARES and FREDERICA bring up the rear carrying a tremendous pink rubber horse with purple dots. The hindquarters are supported by FREDERICA.)

  MRS. LOPEZ (Signaling to one of the hags who puts a fancy cushion down on the bench, which she sits on, then yelling to GERTRUDE) Well, how do you like our gorgeous horse? Pretty big, eh?

  MR. SOLARES It’s worth thirty-two dollars.

  (They all seat themselves.)

  GERTRUDE Now that you’ve asked me I’ll tell you quite frankly that I would never dream of spending my money on a thing like that.

  MRS. LOPEZ (Popping a mint into her mouth) Pretty big, eh?

  GERTRUDE (Irritably) Y
es, yes, it’s big all right but I don’t see what that has to do with anything.

  MRS. LOPEZ That right. Big, lots of money. Little not so much.

  GERTRUDE (Bitterly) All the worse.

  MRS. LOPEZ (Merrily) Maybe next year, bigger. You got one? (GERTRUDE, bored, does not answer) You got one?

  GERTRUDE What?

  MRS. LOPEZ A rubber horse?

  GERTRUDE Oh, for heaven’s sake! I told you I thought it was silly. I don’t believe in toys for grownups. I think they should buy other things, if they have money to spare.

  MRS. LOPEZ (Complacently folding her hands) What?

  GERTRUDE Well, I guess a dresser or a chair or clothing or curtains. I don’t know but certainly not a rubber horse. Clothing, of course, one can always buy because the styles change so frequently.

  MR. SOLARES Miss Eastman Cuevas, how many dresses you got?

  GERTRUDE (Icily) I have never counted them.

  MRS. LOPEZ (To her brother) Cincuenta y nueve, dile.

  MR. SOLARES She got fifty-nine back at the house.

  GERTRUDE (In spite of herself) Fifty-nine!

  MR. SOLARES I bought them all for her, since her husband died. He was a no good fellow. No ambition, no brain, no pep.

  MRS. LOPEZ (Smiling, and nodding her head to GERTRUDE sweetly) Fifty-nine dresses. You like to have that many dresses?

  (Enter MRS. CONSTABLE carrying a fishing pole and basket, although she is immaculately dressed in a white crocheted summer ensemble. She has on a large hat and black glasses.)

  MRS. CONSTABLE (Trying to smile and appear at ease) I hope I’m not interrupting a private discussion.

  MR. SOLARES Happy to see you on this beautiful day. Sit down with us. We weren’t having no discussion. Just counting up how many dresses the ladies got.

  MRS. CONSTABLE (A little shocked) Oh! I myself was hunting for a good spot to fish and I passed so near to your house that I dropped in to call, but you weren’t there, of course. Then I remembered that you told me about a bathing spot, somewhere in this direction, so I struck out hoping to find you. Where are the children?

  GERTRUDE They were here a little while ago … They’ll be back.

  MRS. CONSTABLE I think I might sit down for a few minutes and wait for my bird to come back. I call Vivian my bird. Don’t you think it suits her, Mrs. Eastman Cuevas?

  GERTRUDE (Bored) Yes.

  MRS. CONSTABLE (She sits down on a cushion) I miss her very badly already. It’s partly because she has so much life in her. She finds so many things of interest to do and think about. (She speaks with wonder in her voice) I myself can’t work up very much interest. I guess that’s normal at my age. I can’t think of much to do really, not being either a moveiegoer, or a card player or a walker. Don’t you think that makes me miss her more?

  GERTRUDE (Icily) It might.

  MRS. CONSTABLE This morning after I was cleaned and dressed I sat on the porch, but I got so tired of sitting there that I went to the front desk and asked them to tell me how to fish. They did and I bought this pole. The clerk gave me a kit with some bait in it. I think it’s a worm. I’m not looking forward to opening the kit. I don’t like the old hook either. I’ll wager I don’t fish after all. (She sighs) So you see what my days are like.

  GERTRUDE Don’t you read?

  MRS. CONSTABLE I would love to read but I have trouble with concentration.

  MR. SOLARES (Coming over and crouching next to MRS. CONSTABLE on his heels) How are you feeling today, Mrs. Constable? What’s new?

  MRS. CONSTABLE Not very well, thank you. I’m a little bit blue. That’s why I thought I’d get a look at my bird.

  MR. SOLARES (Still to MRS. CONSTABLE) You’re looking real good. (Studying her crocheted dress) That’s handwork, ain’t it?

  MRS. CONSTABLE (Startled) Why, yes.

  MR. SOLARES You like turtle steak?

  MRS. CONSTABLE What?

  MR. SOLARES Turtle steak. You like it, Mrs. Constable?

  MRS. CONSTABLE (Stammering, bewildered) Oh, yes …

  GERTRUDE Mr. Solares!

  MR. SOLARES (Looking up) What is it?

  GERTRUDE Perhaps I might try chop suey with you, after all. Did it originate in China or is it actually an American dish?

  MR. SOLARES I don’t know, Miss Eastman Cuevas.

  (Quickly turns again to MRS. CONSTABLE.)

  MRS. LOPEZ (Loudly to GERTRUDE) Now you want to go eat chop suey because he’s talkin’ to the other lady. You be careful, Señora Eastman Cuevas or you gonna lose him.

  (She chuckles.)

  GERTRUDE (Furious but ignoring MRS. LOPEZ) I thought we might try some tonight, Mr. Solares—that is, if you’d like to … (Bitterly) Or have you lost your taste for chop suey?

  MR. SOLARES No, it’s good. (Turning to MRS. CONSTABLE again) I’ll call you up in your hotel and we’ll go eat a real good turtle steak with fried potatoes one night. One steak would be too big for you, Mrs. Constable. You look like a dainty eater. Am I right?

  GERTRUDE (Turns and sees MOLLY sitting on the rock) Molly, we met Lionel. He’s bringing the coats. (She sees MOLLY’S stricken face and questions her) Molly, what’s happened? (MOLLY doesn’t answer) What is it, Molly? What’s happened to you … Molly … what happened? What is it, Molly? (Looking around for VIVIAN) Where’s Vivian? (MOLLY still does not answer) Molly … Where is she? Where’s Vivian?

  MOLLY (In a quavering voice) She’s gathering shells …

  (MRS. CONSTABLE rises and starts looking vaguely for VIVIAN. Then she sits down again. GERTRUDE gathers her composure after a moment and speaks to MR. SOLARES.)

  GERTRUDE (Starts off and meets LIONEL) Mr. Solares, I’m going home. It’s windy and cold … The clouds are getting thicker every minute … The sun’s not coming out again. I’m going back to the house.

  LIONEL (Entering with the coats) I brought these … I brought one for Vivian too.… Where’s Vivian?

  GERTRUDE (Takes sweater from LIONEL) She’s gathering shells. (She puts sweater on MOLLY’S shoulders) Molly, put this on, you’ll freeze. (She starts off and calls to MR. SOLARES) I’m going home.

  (MOLLY rises and starts to leave and comes face to face with MRS. CONSTABLE. They look at each other a moment. MOLLY then rushes off, following her mother. MRS. CONSTABLE goes back to the rock. MR. SOLARES and the Spanish people start to gather up their stuff and prepare to leave.)

  MR. SOLARES We’re coming right away, Miss Eastman Cuevas. (He gives the servants orders in Spanish. Then to MRS. CONSTABLE) Come on back to the house and I’ll mix up some drinks.

  MRS. CONSTABLE No, thank you.

  MRS. LOPEZ (Butting into the conversation) You don’t come?

  MR. SOLARES (To MRS. LOPEZ) Acaba de decir, no thank you … ¿no oyes nunca?

  (The Spanish people all exit noisily.)

  LIONEL (As he leaves, sees MRS. CONSTABLE alone) Aren’t you coming Mrs. Constable?

  MRS. CONSTABLE I think I’ll sit here and wait for my bird.

  LIONEL But she might climb up the cliffs and go home around the other way. It’s getting colder Mrs. Constable … I could wait with you …

  MRS. CONSTABLE I don’t want to talk. No, I’ll just sit here and wait a little while.

  LIONEL (Going off) Don’t worry, Mrs. Constable. She’ll be all right.

  MRS. CONSTABLE (Left alone on the stage) I get so frightened, I never know where she’s going to end up.

  The Curtain Falls Slowly

  Scene iii

  Same as Scene i. There is an improvised stand in the upper right-hand corner of the garden (the corner from the house), festooned with crepe paper and laden with a number of hot dogs, as well as part of a wedding cake and other things. MOLLY is leaning against the stand wearing a simple wedding dress with a round shirred neck. She has removed her veil and she looks more like a girl graduating from school than like a bride. She is eating a hot dog. The stage is flooded with sunlight.

  GERTRUDE (Also in bridal costume. She is sitting on a straight-backed
chair in the middle of the garden, with her own dress hiked above her ankles, revealing bedroom slippers with pompons. Eyeing MOLLY) Molly! You don’t have to stuff yourself just because the others stuffed so much that they had to go and lie down! After all, you and I are brides even if I did take off my shoes. But they pinched so, I couldn’t bear it another minute. Don’t get mustard spots all over your dress. You’ll want to show it to your grandchildren some day.

  (MOLLY’S mouth is so full that she is unable to answer. The hags and ESPERANZA are lying with their heads under the stand, for shade, and their legs sticking way out into the garden. MRS. CONSTABLE is wandering around in a widow’s outfit, with hat and veil. She holds a champagne glass in her hand.)

  MRS. CONSTABLE (Stopping beside GERTRUDE’S chair) I don’t know where to go or what to do next. I can’t seem to tear myself away from you or Mr. Solares or Mrs. Lopez or Molly. Isn’t that a ridiculous reaction? (She is obviously tight) I feel linked to you. That’s the only way I can explain it. I don’t ever want to have any other friends. It’s as if I had been born right here in this garden and had never lived anywhere before in my life. Isn’t that funny? I don’t want ever to have any other friends. Don’t leave me please. (She throws her arms around GERTRUDE) I don’t know where to go. Don’t leave me.

  (She squeezes GERTRUDE for a moment in silence.)

  GERTRUDE Now you must stop brooding. Can’t you occupy yourself with something?

  MRS. CONSTABLE (Firmly) I’m not brooding. I can think about it without feeling a thing, because if you must know it’s just not real to me. I can’t believe it. Now what does seem real is that you and Mr. Solares are going away and deserting me and Mrs. Lopez and Molly and Lionel too. And I don’t want to be anywhere except in this garden with all of you. Isn’t it funny? Not that I’m enjoying myself, but it’s all that I want to do, just hang around in this garden. (She goes over to the stand rather unsteadily and pours some champagne into her glass out of a bottle. She takes a few sips, then bitterly in a changed tone) I want to stay right here, by this stand.

  GERTRUDE (Looking over her shoulder at MRS. CONSTABLE) Drinking’s not the answer to anything.