I wanted to ask what she gave him, but I already suspected I knew the answer. The knowledge felt like a roundhouse kick to the ribs.
“Makes me wonder if that’s all it was ever about.”
I didn’t drive very far before I stopped the truck when I saw a clearing of trees overlooking the canyon. Rolling down the windows and leaving the radio on, I got out and pulled down the tailgate before walking around to the passenger side to help her out.
“What are we doing here?”
“You’re going to drink some water before I take you home. Don’t want you getting sick.”
I handed her a bottle, making sure she took some healthy sips before she set it down on the tailgate. She hopped up onto the metal slab by herself when I was prepared to give her a boost. Maybe she wasn’t as drunk as I thought she was.
We sat there in that companionable silence that was always comforting to me, with the sounds of slow rock drifting through the truck’s windows. What I’d thought was a moonless night had just been cloud cover. Now, the full moon cast a mystical, silvery glow over the valley below. Crickets chirped, a warm breeze blew, and the girl of my dreams sat next to me. I inhaled the scent of the pines, cataloguing this moment for eternity.
“What’s going on, Sam?”
Utter silence.
Then, “He cheated on me, Kade. After everything I went through with my dad…he cheated.”
She scooted off the tailgate and started pacing before me. I just sat there and listened to the crunch of gravel beneath her shoes, being her sounding board for everything she needed to purge.
“And you know what the worst part is? It’s knowing that I wasted so much with him. I’m not as mad at him as I am about the time that I wasted with him. The experiences I wasted…” She looked down at the ground, shaking her head, her voice full of regret. “There has to be something wrong with that.”
“It’s understandable to think like that after a break-up, Sam. You’re hurt and pain makes you feel a lot of confusing things.”
Of course, the fact that she was in pain at all made it feel like a lead weight had settled in the pit of my stomach. And yet, all I could do was watch her crumble and stand by helplessly.
Her head shot up. “See, that’s the thing, though. I’m not confused. I know now that I wasn’t supposed to be with him. I know I should be crying and hurting over what he did, but more than anything, I’m just pissed off.”
I tried to hide my grin. It probably wasn’t an appropriate reaction.
“I feel…cheated.”
My grin faded.
“Not just because he cheated. I want so many moments back that he claimed from me. After everything that’s happened over the past few years, I just feel like this is some cruel twist of fate. Like fate itself has cheated me out of a part of my life that I’ll never get back.”
How could anyone ever hurt this girl? I couldn’t understand it. What kind of an insane asshole did Trent have to be to do this to a girl like Sam? She was breaking my heart. I wanted to take her into my arms and kiss away her tears and frustration.
But she needed a friend.
And if that’s all I could be, I would damn well be the best friend she’d ever had.
“I mean, is it just inevitable?” she asked, waving her arms, her shoulders slumping. “Is that the reality of every relationship? That at some point, someone is bound to get hurt? It’s like one person is pre-programmed to cause pain to the other one. My dad, Trent, your mom… Is that just how the world works?”
I grimaced, disgusted that that was the only exposure she’d ever had to so-called “love”.
“Fuck no,” I spat. “Real love isn’t like that. One day you’ll see because better things are in your future, Sam.”
She crossed her arms, kicking rocks around on the ground, but said nothing.
“You’re meant for more than what Mason has to offer you. You’ll leave this place behind and make new memories, better memories that will make everything you lost seem insignificant.” I swallowed before this next part. “And someday you’ll find a guy who will love you the way you deserve to be loved. A guy who won’t hurt you like that. A guy who will make you happier than you ever thought you could be.”
Imagining that guy being anybody but me made me want to throw up. I wanted to tell her that I could be that guy. I was that guy. If she gave me the chance, I would do everything in my power to make her happy.
“I lost my virginity to him,” she whispered.
My insides churned when I saw a tear trickle down her cheek. I’d guessed the truth, but it didn’t make the blow any easier when it came.
“He was there for me after my dad left. At least, I thought that’s what he was doing. I was just mad and confused and as stupid as it sounds, I wanted to do something that I thought would upset my dad. I hated him so much back then that saving myself for the right person didn’t mean anything to me. I didn’t care.” She laughed without humor. “God, I lost my virginity in a moment of rebellion. Who does that?”
“Probably a lot of people,” I said gently. “You’re human, Sam. Go easy on yourself.”
I was surprised that my voice came out so calm and even because my emotions were anything but. I wanted to pound Trent’s face into next week. The bastard had despicably taken advantage of her vulnerability during the hardest time of her life.
“Looking back on it, I have to wonder if that had been his goal all along. He’d known my defenses were down, had known how weak I was. He sat there and let me cry on him. Had it all just been a ploy to get me to have sex? And if it was, how did I not know what kind of person he really is?” She buried her face in her hands and said between sobs, “Why do I never see these things?”
Fuck being helpless.
I pushed to my feet, wrapped my arms around her, and hauled her against my chest. Hearing her break down was killing me. Each tear that fell ripped a chunk out of my soul. If she had to crumble in order to be able to heal, then so be it. But I was going to be right by her side, helping her put all the pieces back together.
“I didn’t do it with him again after that first time,” she whispered after a few minutes. “That’s why he went to Sheena. Because he couldn’t get what he wanted from me. It never felt right doing it with him after that. Once I realized what I’d done. And he just got sick of waiting.”
That made me see fucking red.
“I don’t want to hear that shit. He’s a dumbass, Sam, and he doesn’t deserve you. A good guy doesn’t pressure his girl into doing anything she doesn’t want to do. Don’t you dare feel bad about anything. No, you can’t take that experience back, but you can move on from it. Your past only defines your future if you let it. So, don’t let it.”
She let me hold her as she dealt with her grief. I had this overwhelming sensation that she was right where she belonged. With me, in my arms, forever this way. If only I could just tell her that. But this wasn’t the right time.
“Do you believe in fate, Kade?”
I thought about it, about my own circumstances. “I believe that things happen for a reason, but I don’t call it fate. I believe you can change your own future at any time. I don’t want to think our lives are pre-destined to go down a certain path from the second we enter this world. Too much shit happens from the time we’re born to the time we die.”
“Do you think everyone has a soulmate out there?”
I heard the underlying question. I took her shoulders and pulled her back so she could look into my eyes. See the conviction there, hear it in my voice.
“You’re going to find the right person for you, Sam. He’ll be someone who loves you beyond temptation, who will protect you without fail, and who will put you before everything and everyone else. You’re too good of a person not to be loved like that. You’ll find each other someday. That day just isn’t today.”
“Isn’t it?” she whispered.
Everything stopped.
The world quieted around us.
Did she really just say that? Could she possibly have been feeling anything like what I’d been feeling since the day we met?
Her eyes said…yes.
Holy shit.
Maybe this wasn’t all one-sided. Maybe she’d been fighting it all along, too. I couldn’t even process what that meant as we stared intently at each other for minutes on end. Though maybe it was only seconds, I wasn’t sure. Time was suspended on that clifftop with her.
Before I could voice a response, she rose up onto her toes and pressed her lips to mine.
My. World. Fucking. Shattered.
It took me about half a second to realize what was going on before I came to my senses and kissed her back. Unable to control myself, I buried one hand in her hair and yanked her closer, swallowing the moan she released into my mouth. My heart beat a frantic pace as my other hand skimmed down her back. There wasn’t space between our bodies, her soft breasts flush against my hard pecs. My stiff cock jutted against her center, denim the only thing separating us, and she arched toward it, grinding herself down on it. A deep growl rumbled from the back of my throat at the contact, making the summer night feel so much hotter.
Her mouth was like a dream, everything I imagined and more. Her lips were silky smooth and plump, tasting faintly of cherries and whatever sweet drink she had at the party. Her tongue tangled wildly with mine, our mouths hungrily taking from each other, deep then shallow. Her hands dug into my hair, pulling me even closer, as if she couldn’t get enough. Her breathy moans were fueling the fire in my blood. I found myself grinding back, pushing my erection into her. When her whimper reached my ears, it was then that I realized something.
I could have her tonight.
I could finally get Sam underneath me. After months and months of fantasizing, it could actually become reality. So lost in that revelation, my hands began to take on a whole new level of greedy as they found her breasts, my thumbs grazing her nipples.
She gasped, panting into my mouth. “Yes, Kade.”
She bent toward me for more, and I about came apart.
“God, Sam. I can’t…”
I wasn’t sure what I was about to say. I can’t believe this is happening? I can’t go much longer before I explode?
I kissed a trail down her neck, devouring every inch of her perfect skin. I walked her backward and shoved her against the side of my truck. The position provided more leverage for my hips to thrust. Our breaths were short and shallow, our writhing frenzied as our hands became more purposeful. Her fingers snaked down my chest, stopping over the ridge in my jeans and wrapping themselves around my cock. My head fell forward and my hands slammed against the metal door, trapping her.
“Christ,” I hissed. “Been waiting for that.”
She didn’t need to know how many times I’d imagined this exact scenario.
It was only her hand cupping me through my jeans, and still I felt like I was about to blow. Her lips brushed across the skin of my neck, her hot tongue sending shivers through me. Another groan left me when she began massaging me through my denim, my hips eagerly thrusting in time with her hand. It wasn’t until her hands started fumbling with my belt buckle that my mind suddenly cleared.
What the fuck am I doing?
I couldn’t do this.
I couldn’t be like Trent and take advantage of her in such a vulnerable state.
For one thing, she was drunk. But even if she’d been stone cold sober, I still couldn’t do it. Not when she was hurting and dealing with a bunch of emotional shit. I’d been there, knew what that was like. And I refused to ever give her a reason to regret doing anything with me, especially sleeping with me for the first time. That was unacceptable.
I wasn’t going to be another Trent for her.
And I damn sure wasn’t about to be a rebound.
I covered her hand with my own, stopping her movements. I could sense she already knew what I was going to say, and part of me hated myself for it. I closed my eyes and took some deep breaths. Pushing her away was the hardest thing I’d ever had to do—emphasis on the hard. It was going to be a long night for my balls.
“I’m sorry,” I whispered. “I just don’t want it to happen like this.”
She nodded, the top of her head grazing my chin. “I know. Me, either. Not that it wasn’t really nice.”
We both laughed, the sound cutting through the silence and easing some of the tension.
“Yeah, it was. But we can do better than against the side of my truck. Maybe we could try this again. But you know, without the booze.”
She laughed again, lifting her head. “You mean, like a date? You and me?”
I cupped the side of her face in my hand, my thumb tracing her lower lip. “Yes, a date. Somehow it seems tamer than what just went on here.”
She grinned, but then her brow furrowed. “I think we should take things slow. After Trent, I don’t want to rush into anything. And you and I are friends—I don’t want to screw that up.”
I brought my other hand up and framed her face. “We’ll go as slow as you want. And it doesn’t have to be an official date if you’re not ready for that. We can just hang out like we always have. No pressure. There doesn’t have to be anything sexual.”
She raised an eyebrow, glancing down. “You sure you can handle that?”
I shifted, wincing as I adjusted myself. “I mean, if you want to grope me, I’m sure as hell not going to stop you a second time. But if it ends up killing me, I’ll leave clues behind so the cops know who to look for.”
She burst into laughter at my lame joke. With that sound, I felt us easing back into our normal relationship. Part of me wanted to be disappointed because it felt like we’d taken a step forward and then two steps back. But then I reminded myself to be patient, like I had been for almost a year.
It was meant to happen between us, therefore it would happen.
It was that simple.
I hugged her, loving the contented sigh she breathed into my chest.
“I’ve needed this. For you to hold me and tell me everything is going to be okay.”
I rubbed her back. “Everything will be okay. In the end, it always is. If it’s not okay, then it’s not the end.”
“That was pretty profound of you.”
“I read it on a Dove chocolate wrapper.”
Her giggle vibrated against my chest.
She snuggled in deeper. “And are we going to be okay?”
I squeezed her. “Yeah, Sam. We’re always going to be okay.”
Bob Segar’s “Night Moves” came over my truck’s speakers just then. Needing to prolong the moment for as long as possible, I kept my arms wrapped around her and started to sway.
And there on that clifftop, beneath the bright moon and twinkling stars, as Bob’s voice was carried away on the summer night breeze, Sam and I danced.
It was perfect.
I never wanted it to end.
But what happened next was something neither one of us ever saw coming.
Chapter Twenty-Three
“You Give Love a Bad Name”
by Bon Jovi
Sam
“Wait, hold up,” Jasmine said, tearing off her sunglasses. She squinted at me from her lounge chair. “Are you guys together now or what?”
I removed the tie from my hair, only to pile it all back on top of my head in a loose bun. I’d been fidgeting the entire time I relayed the story to her as we tanned in my backyard.
“I don’t know. We’re still just friends for now. Friends who made out. I don’t want to jump from Trent to Kade in the blink of an eye.”
“But Kade is who you really want to be with, right?”
She rubbed more tanning oil over her arms, even though it was unnecessary. Thanks to her mother’s genes, her skin was perpetually golden brown, while I had to scrape and claw just to get a few tan lines.
“Yes, but…”
“But?” she prompted.
I shrugged. “I feel l
ike this is all moving a little fast. And what if it doesn’t work out with Kade? Next to you he’s my best friend, and I don’t want anything to mess that up. I’m not even going to be able to look at Trent at school. I don’t want that to become Kade.”
“You don’t have to rush anything,” she pointed out. “You’ve had a boyfriend ever since you’ve been in high school. Have some time to yourself before your next one. Besides, that boy will wait for you as long as you need. Trust me.”
“What makes you so sure?”
She scoffed. “Please. Him wanting to be all kissy-kissy with you isn’t news to anyone but you. He’d never say it because he’s not a jerk, but Trent getting it on with Sheena was probably the best news Kade’s heard all year. No offense.”
That shouldn’t have made me smile, but it did and I was. My boyfriend just cheated on me—I should have been bawling my eyes out over half a gallon of ice cream.
“He was calling me all morning.”
“Who? Kade?”
I shook my head. “Trent. Left multiple voicemails apologizing for what he did, asking me to forgive him. He wants me back.”
“Like he has the right to even ask that of you? What an asshat.”
Her phone rang just then, reminding me that I’d left mine up in my room, hoping to avoid more apology calls.
“I swear if that’s him begging me to get you to talk to him…” She answered the call. Her body tensed after only a few seconds, putting me on alert.
“Oh, my God.” She hung up and scrambled around to get dressed, throwing my cover-up at me.
“We have to go!”
“Why? What happened?”
“Kade’s beating the shit out of Trent!”
***
The fight had already broken up by the time I pulled into the parking lot of Countryside Grocer, where apparently Kade and Trent had been wrestling around, throwing punches. But the parking lot was mostly empty. Kade didn’t answer his phone, so I drove over to his house and pounded on the front door. Almost a full minute later, he answered the door with a sheepish grin and a cut lip.
The Unforgettable Kind Page 14