by Hollye Davis
Jody eyes got wide then she laughed. Lunch went by quickly and her reprieve from school ended.
Fourth period was much the same. The teacher hated her instantly, students pushing her out of the way. After all, what was a class without hostility toward her? She almost wondered if she had a sign that said, “Walk all over me, I don’t care.”
She was disgusted and tired, and she HAD to drop off these thousand pound books before it broke her back, but yet again the fornicating duo was still there.
It was enough, she had enough! She walked up to her locker and tapped the guy on the shoulder hoping to dislodge the two, but they were too busy sucking their brains out to pay any attention to her.
Really folks, is this necessary? She tapped a little harder but nothing. She said loudly “EXCUSE ME” and again nothing. So she pushed the guy on the shoulder a few times. He finally turned around to yell through his glistening moist lips, “What the hell?!”
The sight of the spit on his lips turned her stomach. Then again maybe she was just surprised he had lips left.
Speaking calmly, slowly, and as clearly as possible, she asked, “Would you please kindly remove yourself off my locker, I need to put my books up and you seem to be in my way,” and have been all day, she added silently.
His lovely response was, “Go to hell,” then to turn around and commenced to sucking the cheerleader’s face off. The sad thing was she could tell the guy wasn’t even a good kisser as he practically slobbered all over her. Nice.
Hindsight told her she probably should have left them and came back with a teacher, but as usual her mouth is short wired to her brain and instead she yelled, “I would love to go to hell and take you there with me, but as you can see I can’t BECAUSE I HAVE SO MANY BOOKS!” She hefted her bags up for emphasis.
He ignored her as he continued his assault on the cheerleader. What an ass and she was pissed. She yelled again, “For God’s sake! Get a room or go somewhere, anywhere but here! No one wants to see y’all screw in the hallway. Just grab your whore and GO or I’ll shove these books up y’all’s ASSES!!” Using her shoulder, she shoved both of them out of her way making them dislodge and stumble.
She was shocked by her actions, shocked by the foul language she used. Her hand shook as she stuffed her locker full of her books. She realized she was at her end; she was done with the whole damn school and it was only the first day.
At the same time she was instantly ashamed of her behavior but it was too late for remorse. And it was too late for her to take back anything.
It wasn’t long before she realized everything was quiet in the hallway. She looked up from her locker to see everyone looking at her in various stages of shock.
She didn’t understand initially, until the formally fornicating cheerleader sidled up next her.
“Do you have any idea who I am?” Her shrilly voice caused Chloe to clamp her teeth in irritation.
“I’m new here, I suppose you’ll inform me,” Chloe answered sarcastically, proud of herself standing up to the girl.
“I’m the head cheerleader, bitch, and no one, NO ONE talks to ME in that matter and gets away with it.” Then she slapped Chloe’s face.
She should have been used to that, or maybe because she was used to it, so instead of cowering, she slapped her back. The girl held her cheek while the look of complete astonishment engulfed her features but quickly morphed into a mask of hate.
“Your life is about to be hell,” the girl spat, turned on her heel and stomped off with the dramatic flair of someone who had been sorely offended.
So, evidently the fornicating cheerleader was actually the head cheerleader and probably the most popular girl in the school. Chloe shook her head, her good luck knows no bounds. She sighed, shoved the last book in the locker and slammed it.
On the bright side, she was profoundly relieved to unload the massive weight out of her backpack, with that thought she bounced off to her next class.
It took approximately one hour for rumors to explode around the school about the new girl assaulting the head cheerleader. The rumors got bigger and more outlandish until Chloe was perceived as a monster. It didn’t take a genius to figure out the cheerleader was feeding the gossip in order to make her out to be a monster, but unfortunately, she couldn’t retaliate. Who was she going to tell? She didn’t know anyone. She hadn’t been there long enough to form any friends.
The morning had been bad, but the afternoon became progressively worse. The cheerleaders morphed into one big harassing body that enlisted their boyfriends to say horrible things about her.
If it had been just about the words she could deal with it by ignoring them. She was good at that. Didn’t she just spend her entire Junior year disappearing? But what she didn’t count on were the attacks becoming more physical. She thought she had left that horror back in a dank tiny apartment in Germany.
She couldn’t walk somewhere without someone shoving, pinching or kicking her. Looking at her arm, she knew she would have bruises all over her body by the end of the day. Going to the office was not an option, and neither talking to the teachers, because she quickly realized they all quickly turned their heads to what they justified as “harmless” flirting.
When the final bell rang she was so anxious to leave that she nearly fell face first on the bus steps.
“You’re such a loser,” said the shrilly voice with a wicked laugh she was beginning to associate to the head cheerleader. The obnoxious foul person continued with, “Good God you are riding the bus! That’s PERFECT!” Then she gave her the one finger salute and bounced off to the parking lot probably to get into her red convertible Barbie car specially made for fornicating trashy cheerleaders.
After entering the bus, Chloe sat in the first available seat she could find, leaning against the window stretching her legs far in front of her so no one could sit by her. She tried to close her eyes, but she had that uncomfortable feeling someone was staring at her. She turned to see the grocery-store-death-chick with that stupid squinty-eyed stare.
“Do you mind? I really don’t need your shit either,” Chloe said to her. Then turning back around, she closed her eyes for the rest of the trip home.
When she arrived at her bus stop and walked through the community gates profound relief settled over her. She felt like she had been through hell and back.
The sanctity of the cottage loomed before her along with Edwin’s car. She took off in a sprint, taking the stairs two at a time, until she busted through the front door straight into his arms. He was laughing and she was crying.
“It can’t be that bad!” he said as he caressed the back of her head.
“Yes, and so much worse,” her words drenched with tears. He carefully led her to the couch.
“Tell me about it,” he said in a low calm voice and she did. The words pouring from her mouth, tears dripping down her cheeks.
She expected Edwin to be a bit upset but otherwise unmoved, she expected him to tell her that things were going to get better. What she didn’t expect was his complete and total anger. Edwin was livid. He was pacing the living room and muttering curses underneath his breath, which were as much out of character for him as it was for her.
“Damn it, I can’t do a DAMN thing.” He yelled. She folded herself further into the couch not sure how to take his outburst. He paced again, muttering under his breath.
Finally she had enough, “Don’t worry Edwin, I’m good at making myself disappear, they’ll forget about me before long.”
The statement bothered her because she loathed disappearing again when she had felt alive for the first time in a very long time. She deserved as much as any other person to have her day in high school.
She got up and gave Edwin a kiss, “I’m going to take a shower to wash off the filth of the day.” He absently nodded.
After her shower, she walked into the living room following loud voices. She saw Edwin and her aunt out on the deck in what seemed to be an argument. She stopp
ed outside the door straining to hear their conversation.
“You need to tell her now, Edwin.”
“Today is not a good day,” Edwin answered, pacing raking his hand through his already mussed hair.
“You have been saying that forever. This has got to stop. You’re going to hurt her!” Aunt was angry and frantic, her hands waving through the air.
Edwin stopped and turned to look straight at her as if he felt her presence.
“I assume you’re talking about me?” she blurted out, hurt.
They both looked a little ashamed, as they should.
“It’s nothing really,” Edwin said and Aunt gave him a hard look.
“It’s just that I have to go out of the country for a month or so, and we didn’t want to tell you with everything you have going at school.” A sharp pain hit her stomach and Aunt looked about to explode.
“When?” She barely got out with bile rising to her throat.
“In three weeks.” Three weeks? She repeated in her head. Edwin would be gone from her life and forget about her. She knew he would. Her eyes filled up with tears, and she ran to her room and fell down her bed covering her head with a pillow as sobs hit her repeatedly. It was horrible. She hated feeling out of control. She had spent her life out of control. Won’t it ever get better?
She felt the bed dip with Edwin’s weight. He leaned over and slowly removed the pillow, brushing the hair off her face.
“Why?” She sobbed.
“My father needs me to accompany him to England.”
“Why!” She knew she was being irrational but she didn’t care.
“I don‘t have a choice,” he answered simply.
“Tell him no.”
“I can’t.”
He stretched out next to her, caressing her face, kissing her neck then rubbing her back, which calmed her down considerably.
“I don’t think I can bear it,” she cried some more.
“I know how you feel but it’s nothing I have a choice in. In fact I’ve been putting it off for a long time. I just wanted more time with you. I’ve been selfish and now I have to pay for it.”
She pried opened her eyes that she was sure were puffy and red.
“Why now?”
“I hoped school would keep you distracted enough in order not to miss me.”
She snorted her disbelief; good grief was he an idiot? She needed him now more than ever. He continued, “I’ll make sure things are arranged for you to have it easier at school before I leave.” What the hell does that mean? But she didn’t ask, she was hurting too much and at this point she didn’t care about school or anything but Edwin.
Edwin still rubbed her back, which he knew she loved, worked down her legs to her feet. It felt so good, that at one point, she stopped crying and let sensations overcome her.
When he started kissing her, all thought of the day and him leaving went out the window. At least for a few minutes she could forget about it.
Later that night he got up and brought back some snacks for them to eat in the bed forgoing dinner. She loved him so much she didn’t want to be without him, “Can I go with you?” she asked a bit desperately.
He scrubbed his face with his hand, “Believe me, if you could, you would.”
She began to cry again. It was a long miserable night, the prefect end to a long miserable day.
The heat of the bodies on the bus assaulted me. Thoughts of running away, hiding, disappearing became dominate. The noise of the excited infants was deafening and all I wanted to do was go home and lay in the bed with Edwin.
I wanted to forget college, to forget everything. But I know it was counterproductive to have such damaging thoughts. I had dreams and aspirations that included finishing high school. Everyone thought I would be a high school dropout or a run-a-way, and honestly I had come close many times but I had always persevered. I could do it again. I would survive and be better for it. –Chloe’s diary
Chapter Two
Unexpected Friend
She was proud that she had actually remembered to set the alarm the night before and had plenty of time to get breakfast and not run to the bus. She took the same seat as the previous day and grocery-store-death-girl resumed her squinty-eyed stare. She really needed to have a name for her.
“What’s your name?” Chloe snapped at the girl. She really didn’t have any patience for crap that morning.
“Kim,” the girl answered almost nicely. Chloe was shocked the girl didn’t give her some made up name like “it, the number 4, or just plain screw you.”
In an odd way Chloe was disappointed. If Kim gave her some sarcastic answer she could have at least snarled at her to get some of her frustration out.
“Chloe.” She pointed to herself and pounded her chest like a caveman.
Kim actually laughed at that.
“What you did to that bitch cheerleader was awesome, but your life is going to be hell,” Kim stated matter-of-factly.
“I know. It already is,” Chloe mumbled miserably.
Kim then slid over to her seat and asked, “Do you know anything about her?”
Chloe shook her head.
“She’s like the most popular girl in our school and has been for a long time. She claims herself to be the next big actress. She has been the lead in every play since I can remember. She is involved in everything, homecoming queen, head cheerleader, I’d be shocked if someone else got crowned prom queen. The teachers, principals, the whole damn school thinks she hangs the moon. Yet we mere mortals hate her. She’s mean and spoiled. She thinks she can walk over everyone and get away with it. The sad truth is that she can walk all over everyone and get away with it. She has these lemmings that follow her and do her dirty work. That way her reputation is never jeopardized.”
Chloe was blown away, “It sounds like the mafia.”
Kim laughed, “Yeah, that’s the perfect way to describe it.”
The bus went over a bump and several others while they sat silently. Then Chloe turned toward Kim and said, “Your uncle is gross and a creep.” She didn’t know why she said it but she guessed it was a moment of bonding.
Kim looked stunned and then nodded, “You have no idea.”
Chloe watched her for a moment. Kim was actually quite surprisingly pretty. She had no idea what her original hair color was, but her eyes were an unusual shade of green if you could get past the black gunk. It was almost as if she was working hard to make herself ugly.
When they got to school Kim went the opposite direction. To her profound relief there was no one at her locker.
But the relief only lasted for a minute. Her stomach lurched when she opened her locker and she stared at spray-painted “Bitch, Whore” and many other cuss words that didn’t bear repeating or reading. Her heart sunk and stomach hurt. There goes the theory she could just disappear.
Determined not to let them beat her, she read somewhere hair spray could be used to get spray-paint off, so she spent her homeroom cleaning the inside of her locker. It worked too, well to an extent. At least the words weren’t distinguishable anymore.
Wanting to go home nearly overwhelmed her but she forced herself to go to her classes. She needed to graduate so she could go to college and support herself. Nothing was going to stop her, not an abusive father or a psycho, spoiled cheerleader.
The first two periods were normal –kind of. At least there wasn’t an overabundance of harassment. She still got catcalls walking to her class, and every once in a while someone would shove, pinch, or trip her. She hoped that after a while they would get tired of that, too. All she had to do was endure.
She walked to her third period class somewhat apprehensive. Art was one of her favorite subjects, and she didn’t want it to be riddled with practical jokes or harassment. Sitting at the same as spot the previous day, she kept her head down afraid eye contact would give them the excuse they needed to start on her.
All the precautions were fortunately for naught. To her relief
her table talked about non-matters, such as weather, their summers, etc. Never once did they mention the cheerleader or how much a spaz she was.
Jody seemed to be having a better day, but more amazing was that Kim and Jody hit it off instantly, even though they couldn’t be more opposite.
During their light banter, Chloe learned that the boy at the end, who took everything so seriously, was named Aaron and he was a wonderfully talented artist.
The guy with the gray streak in his hair was Tom, a foreign exchange student from Scotland. His friendly dark eyes, pale skin, dark hair, even with the gray streak, which she found out was natural, like a birthmark or some such thing, was quite handsome.
Shawna was a Turkish girl whose family moved to the United States back in the 90‘s. It was after the first Iraqi war when a lot of the Turkish people became refugees. Caleb was a shy, husky boy who liked video games to the point of obsession.
Their table was full of people who were different than the normal high school hierarchy. They were also vastly different than her friends at the cottage, but she still felt these people could become good friends, too.
The sabbatical from the harassment didn’t last long though. When third period ended and she had to make her way to the lunchroom, it was like hell descended upon her. As soon as she was spotted, the harassment started. The shoving, pinching, tripping resumed full force and she felt like a ping-pong ball. Thankful she brought her lunch and didn’t have to make it through the foray with a tray of food. She eventually wound her way to Jody.
Sadly, this behavior wasn’t anything new for her as she had endured similar in past schools. The only difference was that there seemed to be more of them and the spirit was a tad meaner. Crowd mentality seemed to intensify.
Because of her past experience with bullies, she didn’t really react, which she hoped disappointed them. She didn’t run off crying or begging them to stop. She just blanked out and soon they got tired, wandered off unsatisfied.
When she found Jody, Kim was sitting next to her. She set her lunch bag down noting that Jody looked petrified and Kim seemed angry. She sat down where she laid her bag and began fishing out her sandwich, pretending none of what just transpired mattered. Kim and Jody stared at her loose jawed.