by Hollye Davis
The gifts were perfect. Everyone left early using the excuse that she needed her beauty sleep for school tomorrow. Honestly she thought Edwin had persuaded them.
She was content to lie with him on the couch fiddling her new backpack. He kissed to the right of her ear whispering, “I’ll be right back.”
She protested but he was back before long.
“Demanding creature aren’t you?” he said jokingly. Then he handed her a little package, “Here’s my gift.”
“Oh but you’ve already gave me one,” she touched her necklace.
He smiled and said, “Love, you’ll receive lots of gifts from me so you better get used to it.”
She frowned as she pushed herself up into a sitting position.
“What’s wrong?” he inquired, sitting down next to her.
“Edwin, I don’t want to be showered with gifts. It makes me feel…superficial and grasping. I don’t like that.”
He frowned, “If it makes you feel any better, your aunt helped me out on this gift,” he tucked a lock of hair behind her ear, “Let me add just because I give you gifts does not make you grasping, it makes me happy. Just let me be happy.” She rolled her eyes, he knew her weakness, and took the gift from his proffered hand.
When she opened it, she was surprised to find a pretty green Iphone covered in iridescent crystals that sparkled. She looked at him questioningly.
“I was not comfortable sending you to school without some sort of way for us to communicate. I don’t know if you know anything about County High but it’s a huge school, and I worry about you.”
He was right, she didn’t know a lot about County High. Her aunt took her by there to pre-register for classes, but she tried really hard not to look at the school or learn anything about it. It was irrational and she knew she would have to deal with her fears later, but at the time she was only interested in the summer, not thereafter.
Now the thereafter was here and she felt utterly unprepared.
Trying to push past the fears, she lifted the phone up for further inspection. Tilting it to the side, a charm dangled. It was a tiny gold sand dollar with what looked like a real diamond in the middle. Edwin kissed her neck.
“You once told me about how a sand dollar is a symbol of survival. You described it as perfect even though it had to go through so much turmoil. I feel the same about you. You have been through so much but in my eyes you are perfect. You are a survivor and I don‘t ever want you to forget that, no matter what.”
Touching his face with her fingertips, “I don’t feel perfect. I have so many flaws, but when you tell me these things, I feel almost worthy, and it makes me feel I can do anything.”
Removing her fingertips from his cheek, she lowered her head and continued, “When you’ve spent your life less than what everyone wants, to have one person who sees you as okay, you can’t understand how that affects me.” She then raised her head and kissed him sweetly on his lips.
That night Aunt ordered take-out because she announced Chloe didn’t need to fix them dinner every single night. She lived there too and could contribute in some way. It was beyond her aunt to understand that cooking wasn’t a chore to Chloe, but she did have to admit she was a little relieved to not do it tonight. Her anxiety for the next day was nearly killing her and no matter how reassuring Edwin and Aunt were, she knew better. She just knew that things weren’t going to go smoothly. They never did.
PART TWO
School
Once I heard school referred to as an institution of learning. Ha! It is an institution for sure, but for learning? No, it was an institution of torture where the students had their own agenda to harass and morph into a mass of teenage angst and the teacher delighted in the manifestations derived from their drama. – Chloe’s diary
Chapter 1
First Day of School
She overslept. The first day of school and she was staring at the clock disbelieving. She had exactly 30 minutes to get a shower, get dressed, and get to the bus stop outside the community. Edwin wasn’t being helpful either. He kept reaching for her as she was trying to get out of bed. He mumbled something about what the big rush was and she shouted, “I’m LATE! The bus will be here in 30 minutes!” She rushed off to take a millisecond shower. By the time she got out and started fixing the tangle mass of her hair Edwin had gotten up too.
Hopping on one foot, she slid on the first clothes she could find and ran from the room. Edwin was in the kitchen getting a juice and an apple out of the fridge. He handed her the juice and said sheepishly, “I had great plans to fix you this awesome breakfast, but I guess we both got used to the summer schedule.”
“Thanks Edwin, it’s okay, I have to run.” She snatched the juice and apple and turned to run out. He grabbed her arm before she got very far. He gave her a kiss and said, “I can’t believe you were going to leave without saying goodbye. Have a good day and don’t worry. I love you.”
She looked up at him for a moment, always a little dazed by him, and then said, “I love you, too, but you know that.” He chuckled.
Running to the bus stop, which was located outside the gated community, she nearly fell down twice and arrived just in time for the bus. She didn’t want to imagine the picture she presented, she didn’t have to, she knew. She was gross, disheveled, and tired. Once on the bus, she grabbed an empty seat up front and rested the back of her head against the window.
The bus was loaded with freshmen and as a senior, she felt like a teacher with a group of toddlers. She tilted her head enough and came in direct contact with the death girl from the grocery store. How could she forget the dull, black hair, black smudged eyes, and bad attitude? The girl squinted her eyes, stuck her pierced tongue out and wiggled it. Gross. It was enough to break eye contact, turn around, and not to show any reaction. Her day had already begun.
The school was huge. So huge in fact it took her all of first period to find her class. She didn’t want to make her first appearance into the classroom late with desks full of students so she waited until the bell rang before entering into the classroom.
The teacher barely spared her a glance as she handed the teacher her schedule.
“I’m sorry,” Chloe moved a piece of hair out of her face, “I couldn’t find…” but the teacher effectively cut her off with a wave of her hand.
“I don’t tolerate excuses, and I don’t care where you were. Make sure you are here tomorrow, or I will report you to the office.” The lady didn’t even look up from what looked like a pop quiz. Great, her first class on her first day and she had already made one enemy. She didn’t respond as she backed out the room and headed down the hall.
She was careful to find her second class on time. She was relieved to locate a seat toward the middle. She put her book down on the smooth top and was about to lower her body into the wooden seat.
“Like that is sooooo not your seat,” a petite blond girl in a cheerleading outfit said while flipping her hair with her hand.
“Oh, I didn’t realize we had reserved seats, I’m sorry,” Chloe removed her book. The girl laughed and plopped herself down. She gaped as she realized she had been played but, not wanting to make a scene, she covertly looked around for another seat.
She wanted to cry. The only available seat was at the front of the classroom. Great, the worst seat in the class and she just got suckered.
She was walking to the front of the class when she tripped on apparently air. So like her. She started to fall and had to grab on the first available thing to stop her decent to the floor and utter humiliation. Unfortunately the first thing she grabbed was a guy in a letter jacket who yelled “What the hell?!”
“I’m so sorry,” she gazed into a decently good-looking guy’s hazel eyes and took an instant dislike. His dark eyes swallowed her whole, as if she was something to eat. It made her sick to her stomach.
He raised his eyebrows, “It’s okay, sweetheart, you can land on my lap anytime,” then he
swatted her butt. What a jerk! All the guys laughed at the unoriginal disgusting joke, but the girls sent her dark looks.
Mortified, she found her seat front and center when the teacher came in. A rough looking woman, or maybe a man in drag, she honestly couldn’t tell. Whatever IT was, she knew that the school certainly didn’t hire on looks.
The teacher took one look at Chloe and she knew she was in for it. She was called on for everything and since she wasn’t here the year before she felt like a complete idiot.
Evidently so did the rest of the class if the disgusted looks were any indication. It wouldn’t have been so bad if the teacher hadn’t announced extra homework because obviously “we”, were sadly lacking, mainly herself. The whole class pointedly glared at her as if she was the sole reason for it. The day just kept getting better.
Chloe walked out of the class with her head down not wanting to see how her fellow classmates send hateful glares her way. She finally found her locker but two people were in a passionate embrace in front of it. A more accurate description was that they looked like they were fornicating fully clothed.
The girl had a cheerleading outfit like the one who stole her seat. Chloe was tempted to say, “Go team” but she was too disgusted so she skipped her locker and went to third period. It was her art class and for once she felt comfortable. She sat at the end of a long table where no one seemed to mind. A round girl sat next to her who looked as if she was having a worse day than her. In fact she looked close to tears.
Sympathy welled in Chloe, “Is everything okay?” she asked quietly, careful not to let others filtering in to overhear.
The girl seemed shocked that someone talked to her and shrugged, “Just a bad day.”
Chloe smiled, she knew a thing or two about bad days, “Believe me, I can completely relate. School sucks.” The girl nodded her head enthusiastically.
As the class filled up Chloe was a little shocked to see grocery-store-death-chick come waltzing in. When she spotted Chloe she stopped for a moment and did her usual squinty look. Chloe wanted to ask if she might need glasses but smartly held her tongue. Death girl slithered around a perfectly empty table, made her way to their table and plopped down across the sweet girl. Great, just when she thought things were getting better and she was making a friend.
Their table filled up with an eclectic blend of personalities. A guy with black hair had a wide stripe of gray run straight through his bangs. She thought he might dye it as some desperate attempt to stand out and couldn’t understand why anyone would dye his hair gray - white, blue, pink but gray? It didn’t make sense. They exchanged smiles and she decided, gray hair or not, the guy seemed nice. Another small, serious guy sat at the very end of the table, as if he always sat there and earned the right to do so.
Total there were three guys and four girls, and she didn’t feel uncomfortable with any of them sans the death chick. In truth, the death chick really didn’t bother her. Maybe it was a hint of vulnerability vibe emanating from her or the fact she had good ole Uncle Earl at home, but whatever the reason she really couldn’t be hateful toward the girl. She could almost forgive anything for a girl who had Uncle Earl to contend with for her entire life.
When the bell rang she didn’t want to leave the sanctity of her art class but if she didn’t get to her locker to drop off her school books she was going to have a serious back injury.
Hefting her overly heavy bag on her shoulder, she walked carefully down the crowded halls fearing that every step caused permanent damage to her back. However, when she got to her locker the fornicators were at it again. Good grief, this was ridiculous. She shook her head deciding to skip her locker again and head to lunch.
The thought of entering a cafeteria for lunch sent sharp pains to her stomach. She had a slew of terrible experiences in the past, and she wasn’t actually sure if she could enter the cafeteria. The fact that she was starving and she didn’t have enough time to pack her lunch this morning didn’t help her anxieties either. Damn, but her only choice was to brave it through the social nightmare called lunch.
Her heart pounded and her stomach ached as she walked into the massive cafeteria. People were everywhere and she had nowhere to go. Swallowing down equal parts of panic and claustrophobia, she squeezed past a group of classmates to the ever-growing line extending far beyond the food that lay beyond. She was relieved when the lines moved rapidly, sucking through the door and spitting her out the other end with food in her hand. She collected her tray of food off the metal tubes and tried to navigate to a safe place to sit without dropping it, tripping, or otherwise making a spectacle.
Typical of any school there were your established lunch table divisions. The most identifiable were the popular kids. They were congregated into one area easily identified by a virtual sea of school colors.
She turned in the opposite direction, far, far away from them. She imagined that her anti-popular chemical would set them off like a pack of wild hyenas if she got too close. She saw the table full of the punk-rock, probably-on-drugs section, the chess club section, and the drama kids. Good grief, is there a normal table here? Finally in a far corner there was a table where only one person sat.
They probably had some contagious disease but she rather deal with that than any of these tables she didn’t fit in.
She asked the person if she could sit down and was surprised to learn it was the little round girl in her art class. She smiled, relieved she actually lucked out for once in her life. Placing her tray on the table, she pulled out a chair and sat.
“You actually want to sit with me?” the girl asked unbelieving.
“Sure, I am Chloe Carter,” she held out her hand for the girl to shake.
“I am Jody Casovich,” she answered shyly, shaking Chloe’s hand tentatively.
“I’m new here, if you haven’t guessed already. This place is…interesting,” Chloe gestured with her hand like her aunt, the realization amused her to no end.
“Yes, it’s horrible, I hate it. I have known these people since the 8th grade but they act like they’ve never seen me before. As if fat is contagious. I’m surprised you want to talk to me. I’m sure you’re used to a more popular crowd wherever you come from,” Jody answered wide-eyed.
Chloe snorted out a, “right,” and thought she was joking. However when Jody didn’t laugh along side her, she cleared her throat and said, “Well, umm, not exactly. I seem to repel people.” She moved some indistinguishable stuff around on her plate, suddenly not hungry anymore.
It was Jody’s turn to snort. Chloe frowned, “Why do you not believe that?”
“Because you’re beautiful and clearly connected.” Jody gestured toward Chloe’s outfit as if that made any sense whatsoever.
Connected? What does she mean connected? So Chloe asked.
“You’re wearing designer clothes, you have perfect hair, your skin is flawless, and for goodness sake you’re carrying a Loui Vuitton back pack! I didn’t even know he made backpacks, I’ve never seen one.”
Chloe looked down at the clothes Sandra picked out and the gifts her friends gave her. She hadn’t a clue about any of it. They were nice and all but they were just things to wear. They certainly weren’t important. She was about to say so but her cell phone beeped and she reached to see who was texting. Jody gasped.
“What?”
“My goodness! Where in the world did you get that cell phone?! They have been advertising them like crazy but the release date isn’t until next year!
Chloe looked at the phone and shrugged, “I don’t know, my boyfriend gave it to me for my first day of school.” She then read the message.
Keep your head up, halfway through. I’ll be waiting for you at home. I love you.
He seemed to always know what to say and do, tears filled her eyes. Jody was watching her intently, “Something wrong?”
Chloe sighed, “No, everything’s perfect.”
Jody reached over and fingered her sand dollar charm on the end o
f the phone and said, “Wow that’s cool, is it a real diamond?”
Chloe shrugged and said again, “My boyfriend gave it to me.”
She paused then smiled, “I guess he gave you that necklace too?” She glanced at the gold sand dollar dangling from her neck and nodded the affirmative.
Jody asked, “What’s the significance of the sand dollar?” Jody was full of questions but for once she didn’t mind. She loved talking about Edwin.
“I guess you could say that a sand dollar was the reason why I met him and his friends.”
Jody tilted her head and said, “Continue.”
Chloe laughed, “It isn’t really any great mystery or romantic tale. I was walking the beach looking for another sand dollar, I had one in my hand. I wasn’t paying attention when I ran into Edwin’s best friend…literally. The sand dollar that I had found fell and Christoph scared me so badly that I ran back to the cottage without it. Later Christoph, with his friends, came to bring it back to me. Edwin, my boyfriend, was one of his friends.” Chloe touched her necklace, “Since then the sand dollar has been a symbol of our friendship.”
Jody sighed. “Is Christoph single?”
The question startled a laugh out of Chloe, “Yes, but he isn’t a serious fellow, if you get my drift.”
Jody sighed, “What a shame.”
“If you saw him, you would understand. He reminds me of what I imagine Adonis would have looked like.”