Barely Breathing (Colorado High Country #1)

by Pamela Clare

  “Good to see you, too, Roxanne.” Warmth rushed through Lexi at the sight of the kind and familiar face. “You look amazing.”

  The past twelve years had left Roxanne almost unchanged. There were a few streaks of gray in her blond hair now and some smile lines on her face, but she could easily have passed for a woman in her forties.

  Roxanne laughed. “Don’t sound so surprised. It hasn’t been that long.”

  She led them to the dining room, where Michael, her husband, was setting a bottle of Riesling on the already set table. His hair had gone to salt and pepper, his face as tanned as she remembered. He looked up as they entered, his smile so like Austin’s. He reached out his hand, gave Lexi’s a squeeze. “Glad you could join us.”

  A voice came from the kitchen behind them.

  “If Austin is here, he should mash the potatoes. He’s the one with the muscles.” Cheyenne stood at the counter wearing shorts, a T-shirt, and an apron, an old-fashioned potato masher in her hand, her dark blond hair pulled back in a ponytail.

  Austin turned toward his sister. “What happened to Ms. Liberated Doesn’t-Need-A-Man-In-Her-Life?”

  “You’re not a man. You’re my brother.”

  He chuckled. “I’m glad we got that cleared up. I guess I’d better help.”

  Roxanne followed her son into the kitchen. “The chicken is ready to come out.”

  Lexi glanced around her, tried to relax. She’d spent many Sunday evenings here with Austin and had fond memories of both the place and the people. It had once been her home away from home, a place she’d come to escape Kendra and her father. She had felt comfortable here, safe, wanted.

  Most of the furniture was different. The walls no longer had wallpaper. Wood flooring had replaced the old shag carpet. Where school photos of Austin and Cheyenne had once hung, there were now paintings.

  Michael interrupted her thoughts. “Can I pour you a glass of wine?”

  “Yes, please.” God, she needed a drink.

  A few busy minutes later, they were seated around the table, Lexi to Austin’s right. While they ate, Roxanne asked Lexi questions about her life in Chicago, probably trying to make her feel at ease. Was it truly windy there? How much snow did they get in the winter? Did she feel safe walking on the streets? What were some of her favorite places in the city?

  Cheyenne cut in with the next question. “When are you going back?”

  Lexi felt Austin tense, but she didn’t take offense. “I need to finish the work I’m doing for the Team first.”

  Cheyenne looked mystified. “Why do they need you? You don’t climb.”

  Okay, so Austin had been wrong. Cheyenne still hated her.

  “She’s helping us fix the mess Breece made.” Austin’s tone had a warning edge to it. “He embezzled thousands from us and hid his tracks.”

  Cheyenne looked unimpressed. “How long is that going to take?”

  Lexi took a sip of her wine. “A few weeks at least.”

  “After that, you are going back, right?”

  Michael leveled his gaze at his daughter. “That’s rude, Cheyenne.”

  Cheyenne glared at her father. “You remember what happened the last time she sank her claws into him. He was a wreck. She’s been back for less than a week, and she’s already reeled him in again.”

  “Chey—” Austin tried to cut her off, but she kept going.

  She looked to her parents for support. “You heard what her dad said to him at Knockers last night.”

  “That wasn’t Lexi’s fault.” Austin’s raised voice silenced his sister at last.

  “For the record, I was wrecked by our breakup, too.” Lexi took a sip of wine, fought to keep emotion out of her voice. “My sister feels the same way about your brother that you feel about me. I am very sorry about what my father said. He was drunk and completely out of line.”

  “How is he doing?” Roxanne asked, deftly changing the subject.

  “He needs help.” Lexi had spent the morning arguing with him, urging him to get alcohol counseling. “It’s been very hard for him with Kendra gone.”

  The rest of the meal passed with a false sort of cheerfulness, Cheyenne’s presence bringing tension to what would otherwise have been a fun meal. Afterward, Lexi helped clear the table, but she got shooed out of the kitchen by Roxanne when she tried to load the dishwasher. She and Austin sat with Michael on the back deck enjoying the cool evening air, Roxanne eventually joining them.

  When enough time had passed that her departure wouldn’t seem abrupt or rude, Lexi got to her feet. “I suppose I should get home. Thanks so much for the delicious meal. It was great to see all of you again.”

  Austin stood. “I’ll drive you.”

  They’d just reached his SUV when he drew her into his arms. “I am so sorry, Lexi. Cheyenne is … well, she’s just trying to watch out for me.”

  “I know she is.” She rested her head against his chest. Even after all these years, it felt so natural. “I guess I had it coming, given what my father said to you.”

  “Bullshit.” He kissed her hair. “Why don’t we go to my place? I have a few ideas about how we could spend the time.”

  That made her smile. “I just bet you do.”

  Austin watched Lexi’s sweet face as he thrust into her once more with agonizing slowness and then withdrew. Her brow furrowed. Her lips parted on a moan. Her neck arched, baring her throat to his kisses.

  She opened her eyes, looked pleadingly into his. “Don’t … stop.”

  Oh, he wasn’t planning on stopping. “I could fuck you like this all night long.”

  Her pupils dilated, her eyes drifting shut again as he slowly thrust once more.

  He kept the pace steady and slow, unable to take his gaze off her—the bliss on her flushed face, her pebbled nipples, the crimson fan of her hair.

  “Ooh, this is torture.”

  “Want me to go faster…?” He gave a few quick hard thrusts that had her crying out, then slowed down again, the transition earning him a deep moan. “Or do you want me to keep it slow like this?”

  “Yes!”

  He chuckled, shifting his tactics, keeping it slow for a while, then driving into her hard and fast, until she was frantic beneath him, her breathing ragged. “I love how you moan and smile at the same time.”

  She smiled—and moaned again.

  Damn.

  Okay, so maybe he couldn’t last all night.

  Forty-five minutes. He could last forty-five minutes, couldn’t he? Okay, so a half hour. Ten minutes? Maybe he ought to have worn a condom after all. She felt too … damned … good.

  He willed himself to relax and focus only on her response, not the way it felt to be inside her—her tightness, her slick heat. He could tell she was getting close. Her breasts seemed to swell, her chest flushing pink. There were no smiles now, only the moans and whimpers of a woman lost in sexual bliss.

  Fast and hard—one, two, three, four, five—and then deep and slow.

  It made his blood burn hot to know that he could do this to her—fuck her until pleasure made her come undone, her composure and control gone, her body desperate for what he could give her. And, God, he was just as desperate for her, his chest slick with sweat, his heart pounding from sheer lust.

  What was it about Lexi that got to him like this? How did she make him want her so badly that he could never get enough? She was an addiction, an obsession, a disease.

  One, two, three, four, five—and slow.

  Without his permission, his mouth started talking, whispering nonsensical words against her fevered skin. “God, Lexi, you are so beautiful, so beautiful to me. I want you… I need…”

  One, two, three, four, five—slow.

  Her breath caught and held for a moment, then she came with a cry, her nails biting into his skin, her inner muscles clenching around him. He captured her cry with a kiss, staying with her until the tremors inside her had passed and she lay limp and still beneath him, her eyes closed. Then he le
t himself go, pounding into her until his world exploded into ecstasy. And for a time, he just breathed her in.

  A slender finger trailed up his spine, her heartbeat slowing beneath his. He rolled off her, drew her into his arms. As they lay there in the dark together, her head pillowed on his chest, he did his best not to think about the fact that she’d soon be leaving.

  “Can I tell you a secret?” she said.

  He’d thought she was almost asleep. “Sure.”

  She seemed to hesitate. “After I left for college, I hated myself for what I’d said that night. If only I’d kept my mouth shut… All it took was a little distance from this place for me to realize that I would have come back here just to be with you. I didn’t figure that out in time. I guess I was young and stupid.”

  He kissed her hair, now wide awake, his mind racing to take all of this in. “We were both young and stupid.”

  “It’s too late now, but I wanted you to know.”

  Austin lay awake long after she’d fallen asleep thinking about this.

  Lexi woke in Austin’s arms early the next morning feeling languid and just a little sore. She closed her eyes, snuggled against him, savoring the feeling of lying beside him.

  Beep! Beep! Beep!

  His alarm went off, making her jump and waking him.

  He reached over, smacked it off, then wrapped his arms around her, spooning her. “Morning can fuck off.”

  Lexi couldn’t help but smile at the sleepiness in his voice. He must have worn himself out last night. He’d certainly exhausted her, driving her into some crazy sexual frenzy, making her feel like she was the only woman in his world. When it came to stamina, Austin was in a league of his own.

  He stirred behind her. “Shit.”

  She rolled over, kissed him. “I don’t think morning is going anywhere. When do you have to be at work?”

  He brushed a strand of hair from her cheek, kissed her forehead. “You mean when do we have to be at work. You’re doing a ride-along today, remember?”

  “Oh, God.” Lexi sat bolt upright. “I forgot.”

  While he dressed, took care of Mack, and made breakfast, she took a quick shower. She’d tucked a small makeup kit in her handbag, pretty certain she’d end up spending the night, and quickly applied mascara and lip gloss. Then she threw on the clothes Austin had peeled off her body last night and hurried down the stairs.

  He was just setting plates on the counter, the puppy eating its own breakfast nearby. He took one look at her and shook his head. “The jeans are okay, but that top and those sandals—no. We’re going to need to run by your place.”

  After Mack had gotten a quick walk and done his business, they left in Austin’s SUV, swinging by the inn so that Lexi could change. She was in and out in a flash, switching into a T-shirt and a pair of running shoes, careful not to wake her father. Then they set off down the canyon toward the Forest County Parks and Open Space office.

  After Austin had punched his time card, he handed Lexi a clipboard and a pen. “It’s a standard release form. By signing it, you agree not to sue the county if something happens to you on this ride-along.”

  Ten minutes later, they were sitting in Austin’s service vehicle on their way out of the parking lot, windows down to let in the cool morning air. For Lexi, it felt like a grand adventure.

  “Fifty-six-twenty, show me in service.”

  “Fifty-six-twenty, good morning.”

  “Fifty-six-twenty, Moose Lake.”

  The dispatcher came back with the time. “Zero-eight-ten.”

  Lexi felt mildly cool now that she could understand some of the radio chatter—or traffic, as they called it. “We’re going to Moose Lake?”

  “It gets a lot of visitors on weekends, and this is Memorial Day—one of the biggest weekends of the year. I always head there on Monday mornings to check the trash and to make sure there’s toilet paper in the bathrooms.” He flashed her a grin. “I was on my way there last Monday when your call came in.”

  “I can’t believe it’s only been one week since we reconnected.”

  A lot had happened in those seven days.

  He looked over at her, his eyes hidden behind his mirrored sunglasses, a smile on his lips. “Tell me about it.”

  “Are there any moose at Moose Lake?”

  “Quite a few, actually. If you’re lucky, maybe we’ll see one.”

  “Oh, I hope we do.”

  Soon they were turning into the Moose Lake parking lot. She watched while he checked the restrooms and the trash bins. Then he checked in with dispatch and told them he was going on a foot patrol.

  He lifted his pack onto his back. “You up for this, city girl?”

  “Just try to keep up.” She headed off down the trail, the warm sound of his chuckle following her. “Let me know if I’m going too fast for you.”

  The trail he chose encircled the lake itself, blue sky and white clouds reflected on the water’s surface, cattails hugging the shoreline. Parts of the trail were rocky and exposed to the sunshine. Others were shaded by aspens, fragile blue columbine blooming in clumps amid the white trunks.

  Lexi saw a side of Austin she’d never seen before. He knew the fancy Latin name of every flower, every tree, every little creature. He was even able to identify many of the birds by their songs. She could see on his face that this was his place. This was where he felt most at home. No wonder he’d never thought about leaving.

  She watched from a distance while he nudged a fat bull snake off the trail with the tip of his expandable baton. “Come on, little guy. Go sun yourself somewhere safer.”

  She felt a tug in her chest, touched by his gentleness with a creature many people would find repugnant. “You know, for a tough guy with a uniform and a gun, you’re basically a bunny-loving tree-hugger.”

  He looked over at her, his lips curving in a smile. “You’ve discovered my secret.”

  “Don’t worry. Your secret is safe with—”

  Lexi gave a startled gasp.

  Bear.

  He stood there, among the pines, something wrapped in a blanket in his arms. He’d come up behind them so quietly that neither she nor Austin had heard him.

  “Ranger Taylor.” His gaze moved to Lexi, a frown coming over his face. “I saw your truck. I thought you’d be alone.”

  “Lexi’s doing a ride-along with me today. Are you okay?”

  Whatever was in the blanket wiggled, and Lexi saw.

  A tiny fawn.

  Chapter 13

  Austin watched Lexi’s eyes go wide as the little fawn poked its face out of the blanket. In a heartbeat, she was at Bear’s side, the delight on her face sending warmth through his chest. But Austin was on the clock, and this was now official business. “Where did you find it?”

  “Beneath the Pinnacles. It was about ten days ago. She was walking around her mama’s severed head, crying her little heart out.”

  “Sounds like poachers.” Austin loathed them. “Was it inside the wildlife closure?”

  Bear nodded, looking a bit sheepish. He’d just admitted to violating the law, but Austin let that go for now.

  “This girl is too little to survive on her own. I was gonna raise her up myself, but I need you to take her. These are bad times, dark times. The End Times.”

  It was unusual for Bear to surrender an animal. He had rehabilitated more than a few orphaned and wounded critters through the years, from a golden eagle to baby skunks. It wasn’t strictly legal. Still, Bear knew what he was doing, so overworked wildlife officials had let him get away with it.

  Austin considered both this and Bear’s strange words—not that strange words from Bear were all that unusual. “What’s going on, buddy? Is everything okay?”

  Bear’s gaze flitted to Lexi, then back to Austin. “A righteous man has regard for the life of his animal, but even the compassion of the wicked is cruel.”

  Ask a straight question, get a verse from Proverbs.

  That was Bear in a nutshell.


  “We’ll take her.” Austin reached for his hand mic and asked dispatch to tone out someone from the state Department of Parks and Wildlife. Before he could finish his call, Bear placed the bundled fawn in Lexi’s arms and disappeared into the trees.

  Lexi looked up at him, an expression of wonder on her face as the little fawn, who didn’t seem to fear people, rested its head against her chest. “It’s so cute.”

  “Be careful.” Austin reached out, stroked the fawn’s silky brown head. “If its legs get free, and it starts kicking, its hooves will cut you up.”

  “Can I help care for her?”

  “That’s for the wildlife folks to decide. Let’s get her back to the truck.”

  Lexi crooned to the fawn, doing her best to reassure it as they made their way back down the trail. When they reached his truck, Austin took the baby animal from her and settled it in a large dog carrier, overriding Lexi’s objections.

  “I can’t risk her getting loose in the vehicle and getting hurt or hurting one of us and causing an accident,” he explained.

  Then they headed toward town, Austin waiting for a call from dispatch that would tell him where to go with the orphaned animal.

  But the fawn wasn’t happy about being in the carrier or the moving vehicle, its little cries upsetting Lexi until Austin wasn’t certain which one of them was most distressed. He couldn’t help but laugh. “It’s going to be okay.”

  “It’s breaking my heart.” Lexi turned in her seat and stuck a finger through the bars of the pet carrier, trying to comfort the little animal.

  It latched onto her finger and began to suckle.

  “I think it’s hungry.”

  “We’ll get it something to eat soon.”

  They were almost in Scarlet when dispatch let him know that state wildlife folks had no room and no one to send for the fawn.

  “What does that mean? Are they just going to have you dump her?”

  “God, no.” Austin explained that standard procedure now was to call private animal shelters along the Front Range to see if any had room. “The only one in Scarlet is Aspen Wildlife Sanctuary. It’s run by Chaska Belcourt’s little sister, Winona. You met her at Knockers the other night, remember? She’s a wildlife vet.”