by Laura Conway
“Did you get him?” Payton asked, pushing her oar through the water.
“I think so.”
“There’s a stork up ahead on the left. See it?”
“Yeah,” Abbey said, reaching for her camera, trying to get a better shot than she did of the alligator. She left her oar on her lap and let the water carry her kayak closer, lining up the shot as she eased past the white bird with long legs and a black head.
“When are you going to show me some of your photos?” Payton asked when Abbey caught up with her. “You’ve been taking that camera everywhere.”
“Maybe when we get back?”
“Sure.”
“If you’re not too busy,” Abbey said, picking up her oar and gliding it through the water, “I wouldn’t mind learning how to edit them.”
“Yeah. Of course.”
“Thanks,” Abbey said with a smile as she swapped her oar for her camera again, letting Payton get a few feet ahead of her so that she could take a shot of her, paddling through the water with her back to her.
Abbey flicked through the photos she’d just taken. With a little bit of editing, those pictures of Payton could be some of the best she’d taken so far.
Abbey carefully left the camera back in its bag and reached for her oar, steering her kayak away from the bank and back into the middle of the river.
The more she thought about it, she realized it was better to just ignore her feelings for Payton. If Payton didn’t want to get involved because there wasn’t a possibility of them staying together for more than a few months, then that would have to be okay with her.
She almost wished Melissa hadn’t come to visit her now. She’d only confirmed what Abbey had been thinking, that Payton was interested in her. She just couldn’t handle the uncertainty and Abbey had to respect that.
Payton had clearly been hurt in the past and Abbey couldn’t see a way that she wouldn’t hurt her either. Her life was in New York and Payton’s was here.
There was no way that it would end well and if Abbey was this hung up on Payton after a few kisses, how hard would she have fallen after a few months of being together? They’d both end up getting hurt.
Abbey paddled a little harder to catch up to Payton. She’d been lost in her own thoughts, drifting slowly down the river, letting the current carry her, while she vowed once and for all to forget about Payton and just be happy with their friendship.
Chapter Twenty-Eight
April 21st
Abbey leaned back into the cushions on the sofa, stretching her arms above her head. She put her laptop on the coffee table and got up, her body stiff from sitting on the couch for the last two hours.
She finally understood how Payton could spend hours at a time in her office, editing photos.
The last two hours had flown by. Payton had shown her how to use PhotoShop two weeks ago and Abbey finally felt like she knew what she was doing.
She uploaded all of the photos she’d taken since she got to Florida onto her laptop and separated them into different folders, by date or location, and then picking the best ones to edit.
Abbey went into the kitchen to see what was left of her chilled bottle of Pinot Grigio and refilled her glass.
She glanced at the clock on the microwave and was surprised to see that it was almost eleven o’clock at night. Payton had a wedding to shoot today in Tampa so she’d probably be home soon.
Abbey brought her glass back over to the sofa and got comfortable again, promising herself that she’d finish up after she edited the last four photos in the folder she currently had open.
Abbey smiled to herself. She hadn’t even been in Florida for three months and here she was having a relaxing evening in, working on a new hobby.
If she was in New York right now, she’d be sitting on her sofa with her laptop but she’d also be doing paperwork and planning the next day down to the minute, scheduling appointments and phone calls that she needed to make.
This was the new, relaxed Abbey. She just hoped she could bottle this feeling and bring some of it back to New York.
“Hey,” Payton said, pushing open the front door and leaving her keys on the narrow wooden table inside the door.
“Hi. How was the wedding?”
“Good. It was one of those intimate weddings and the ceremony on the beach was actually pretty moving.”
“You must almost be immune to it…All the romance, I mean. You’ve been to so many weddings.”
“Yeah. I rarely tear up,” Payton said, grabbing a glass from the cabinet in the kitchen and pouring herself a glass of red, “But this one got me.”
“Really?”
“Yeah,” Payton said as she sat down next to Abbey. “How’s that going?”
“Surprisingly good. I think… I’ll let you be the judge though.”
Payton scooted closer to Abbey to lean in and take a look. Abbey brought up the two photos she’d just finished editing. They were from their trip to Caladesi Island State Park.
“These are really good,” Payton said as she moved away and got comfortable, tucking one leg underneath her.
Abbey smiled. “Thanks.”
She glanced over at Payton as she put her laptop on the coffee table and took a deep breath. Anytime Payton was working, she usually wore all black, and today was no different. It always drove Abbey crazy, the way her black skinny jeans clung to her athletic legs.
“Do you want to watch a movie?” Payton asked. “I’m wide awake.”
“Yeah. Sure. You pick. I’m going to put another bottle in the fridge.”
Abbey came back with a fresh glass of wine and got comfortable on the couch, consciously leaving a gap between the two of them. She didn’t need to be brushing arms with Payton or accidently leaning into her halfway through the movie.
But that’s exactly what happened. Payton got up, about an hour into the movie, to bring her bottle of red into the living room and refill her glass.
When she sat down again, they were closer together and by the end of the movie, Payton’s arm was draped across the back of the couch and her body slightly angled towards Abbey.
Abbey took a deep breath, suppressing the warm feeling that was rising up through her body. Just being this close to Payton, her familiar perfume drifting through the air, made Abbey’s pulse quicken.
Abbey finished what was left in her glass and leaned forward to leave it on the coffee table. Payton did the same and Abbey was about to stand up to say ‘Goodnight’ when she noticed Payton’s eyes on her.
Abbey had a lot more to drink than Payton did but she knew she wasn’t seeing things. Payton was looking at her the same way she had on the dancefloor, her eyes boldly meeting Abbey’s, as they seemed to gravitate towards each other.
Abbey’s eyes flickered down to Payton’s lips, debating whether or not she should do this, while her stomach did flip flops and her heart hammered in her ears.
She didn’t need to decide though. Payton’s lips were already on hers, brushing across her own parted lips as Abbey closed her eyes, giving into the kiss.
The memory of their last kiss five weeks ago was always fresh in Abbey’s mind no matter how much she tried to forget about it.
And no matter how realistic her memories were, kissing Payton again still floored her.
A rush of desire ran through Abbey’s body when Payton’s tongue met hers, shattering the wall that she’d tried so hard to build between them.
Abbey cupped her cheek while Payton’s hand was lost in Abbey’s hair, both of them deepening the kiss, their tongues dancing slowly together.
A low moan escaped Payton’s lips and Abbey couldn’t remember ever being so turned on. Her hand slid underneath Payton’s black top, her fingertips lightly grazing across her hip.
Abbey’s mind was clear, the effects of the alcohol she’d drank long gone, evaporating into thin air from the shock of Payton’s lips on hers.
All Abbey could think about was how much she wished this could cont
inue, how much she wanted to take Payton upstairs.
Payton’s tongue skimmed across her lower lip as their lips met again and again, teasing Abbey, slowly driving her crazy.
Just as Abbey was about to suggest they move into the bedroom, Payton pulled away, breaking their kiss. She sat up straight, putting a few inches between them again and ran a hand through her blond hair.
“I can’t do this Abbey.”
“Then why did you kiss me?” Abbey asked, taking a deep breath.
“I don’t know… It just happened.”
“There’s a reason this keeps happening.”
“That doesn’t mean we should,” Payton said, her eyes meeting Abbey’s.
“I want you, Payton.”
Abbey sighed. There, I said it. Out loud.
“But you’re leaving.”
“In nine months. A lot can happen in nine months but the more we keep denying that there’s something between us, the less time we’re going to have,” Abbey said, trying to keep the desperation out of her voice.
Payton shook her head. “I’m sorry, Abbey. I can’t.”
Abbey watched her stand up and climb the stairs. She fell back into the cushions, wiping her hand across her face.
Shit.
She replayed their conversation in her head and she didn’t think there was anything else she could have said. She told Payton that she was interested in her but that wasn’t enough.
Leaving was always going to be the problem and Abbey didn’t have a counter argument for that. She was leaving.
Abbey brought the two empty wine glasses into the kitchen and loaded them into the dishwasher. She ripped off a sheet of paper from the notepad beside the phone and wrote a quick note telling Payton that she was going to head back to New York tomorrow for a few days.
Abbey didn’t know what else to do. She needed to get out of here for a few days and she wanted to see Melissa again. She could use a night out with her friend although she knew that Melissa would make her swear that she wouldn’t do any work while she was there.
Part of her was considering bailing out on this whole ‘year off’ promise she made to Melissa. It would be so much easier to go back to New York and the life that she’d grown used to.
Payton was driving her crazy and Abbey knew going home for a few days would do her good. She needed that space.
Abbey took a bottle of water out of the fridge and went back over to the couch, opening up her laptop to search for flights for tomorrow.
Chapter Twenty-Nine
April 22nd
Melissa gave the bartender a nod and he came over with two more cocktails.
“Tonight, we’re going to enjoy ourselves.”
“I will definitely drink to that,” Abbey said, clinking her glass off Melissa’s.
Abbey met Melissa at her apartment that evening and got settled in. She was going to be staying with her for the next six days and Abbey was glad to be back in New York and spending some time with Melissa.
They were out for a few drinks, to catch up, and Abbey filled Melissa in on what happened last night.
“Don’t beat yourself up,” Melissa said, resting her arm on the bar. “You had to put it out there.”
“I know but now it’s going to be really awkward.”
“It might not be… You said you haven’t seen her since, right?”
“Right.”
“And by the time you go back, it’ll have been nearly a week… It might not be that awkward.”
“I’ll still feel embarrassed,” Abbey said, taking a sip of her drink.
“Do you need to think about moving somewhere else?”
“Ugh… I don’t know. Maybe?”
“Have a look online tomorrow. Keep your options open,” Melissa said.
“Okay… Enough about me. How’s work going?”
“No.”
“What? I’m not working. I just want to know how it’s going.”
“No. No work talk,” Melissa said firmly. “You’re supposed to be taking a year off.”
“I think I might have cured my addiction to work…”
“And moved on to women.”
“What?” Abbey asked, not sure that she heard her friend correctly.
“You never gave your love life any attention and now that’s all that you have going on right now.”
“I’ve been taking photos…”
“I’m serious, Abbey. Be careful with this Payton thing. It could swallow you up just like work always did.”
“Do I have an addictive personality?” Abbey asked, staring at her drink.
“I don’t know. I’m not a shrink. I’m just saying that you gave so much effort to your work life. I guess it’s natural that you’d need to have something else to focus on.”
“I’ve been drinking more too.”
Melissa laughed. “That could be considered relaxing.”
“Or it could be another addiction,” Abbey said with a sad smile. “I missed you,” she said, reaching out to squeeze her arm gently.
“I missed you too.”
Chapter Thirty
April 28th
When Abbey got back to Tampa and wheeled her suitcase up the driveway, she silently hoped that things would go back to the way they were when she first arrived three months ago.
She unlocked the front door and Payton was in the kitchen, cleaning up.
“Hey,” Payton said, drying her hands. “How was your trip?”
“Good,” Abbey said with a smile. “Really good. I’m glad to be back though.”
She was glad to be back. The few days she’d spent in New York left her feeling refreshed. She’d done all the tourist things that she never made time for when she lived there, like riding a bike through Central Park and taking a ferry to Staten Island.
She’d taken Payton’s camera with her and brought it with her everywhere. Tonight, she planned on having a quiet evening in, going through those photos and editing them.
“How was your week?” Abbey asked, joining Payton in the kitchen and taking a cold bottle of water out of the refrigerator.
“Good. Quiet. I just made some dinner. Vegetarian lasagne. There’s plenty of leftovers so feel free to have some.”
“Thanks,” Abbey said, taking a long drink.
This is as close to normal as it’s going to get. I guess we’re just going to ignore the kiss and move on.
“How’s Melissa? Is she coming down again?”
“She’s great. She won’t tell me a thing about work which is driving me crazy but that’s what I agreed to,” Abbey said as she went over to the couch and sat down. “Yeah. She’s planning on visiting again in the summer.”
“That’s good… Claire stopped by two days ago,” Payton said, joining her on the couch. “She asked for your number so I gave it to her… I hope that’s okay.”
“Yeah, of course… I haven’t heard from her though.”
Abbey avoided Payton’s eyes. This isn’t what she wanted to talk about.
“I told her you were coming back in a few days so maybe she’s just waiting until she knows you’re back in town to call you.”
Abbey nodded. “Maybe…”
“You’re not interested in her?”
“No. Not really… I don’t know,” Abbey said, standing up again. She couldn’t sit still and she couldn’t stay sitting on the couch. “I’m going to go have a shower and then I’ll probably go to bed. See you tomorrow?”
“Yeah, sure. Goodnight.”
Abbey lifted her suitcase and carried it up the stairs and into her bedroom. She sat down on the edge of the bed and put her face in her hands.
She was supposed to be relaxing and taking a break from her hectic life in New York but Abbey couldn’t remember ever feeling so out of control.
Chapter Thirty-One
May 12th
Abbey crouched down in the sand, balancing her weight while bringing her camera up to her face and pressing the shutter as the sun sank lower i
nto the ocean, the sky ablaze in an everchanging pallet of reds and oranges, until the sun disappeared into the black water.
Abbey’s legs were stiff as she stood up and turned on the flashlight on her phone to pack up her camera and stride through the sand back up to the street.
Sunsets were her new favorite thing to photograph, especially when she could get the beach and the water in the shot as well.
She made the short walk back to Payton’s and turned off her flashlight as she opened the front door and left her camera bag down inside the door.
“Hey,” Abbey said to Payton who was stretched out on the couch.
“Hi… Take any good photos?”
“I think so. I’ll show you tomorrow when I have a chance to look through them.”
In the last two weeks, neither of them mentioned the kiss and Abbey knew that she officially had to forget about it. At least she didn’t think there was any need to think about moving out.
They’d somehow gone back to the way it was before all this happened. They were just housemates, friends.
“The sky looked amazing from here,” Payton said as Abbey sat down beside her on the couch.
“It was beautiful. I love taking sunsets. I just need to get better at the settings… The shutter speed and everything.”
“You’ll figure it out.”
“Did you eat yet?” Abbey asked.
“No. I got caught up with work stuff.”
“I haven’t cooked in a few days… Italian okay?”
“I’d eat anything,” Payton said, standing up. “I’ll give you a hand.”
Abbey followed Payton into the kitchen, tearing her eyes away from her.
Why am I still thinking about her like that?
Payton’s hand covered hers as they both reached for the cutlery drawer at the same time.
“Sorry,” Payton said, pulling her hand away.
Abbey took a deep breath and tried to focus on making dinner, not on Payton and how close she was standing to her as they started chopping the vegetables.