by Laura Conway
Jackie had a quick body shower and pulled some black lacy lingerie out from the back of her drawer. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d put this set on, but as she stood in front of the full-length mirror, she felt more confident than she had in years. Sexy, even. She put on a pair of jeans and a black scoop neck top, and the doorbell rang just as she was touching up her makeup. She tied up her hair again in a loose ponytail, letting a few pieces slip out as she went to answer the door.
Payton stood in her doorway wearing a white tank top and jean shorts. “Hey,” she said, tucking a lock of her blond hair behind her ear.
“Hi. Come in,” Jackie said, holding the door open for her. She almost leaned in to give her a kiss but thought better of it. That wasn’t where they were at. This wasn’t the start of something. Not anything real anyway. “Can I get you a drink?”
“Whatever you’re having is fine.”
“I have a nice bottle of Rioja if you’re okay with red wine?”
“That’s perfect.”
Jackie brought two glasses into the living room and poured them each one while Payton got comfortable on the sofa. The confidence she felt when she was standing in front of the mirror in her room was gradually slipping away. Why did Payton make her so nervous?
“Cheers,” Jackie said, breaking the silence.
“Cheers.” Payton gave her a warm smile as she clinked her glass against Jackie’s, and they both took a sip. “Hmmm. This is nice.”
“It’s one of my favorites.” Jackie took another drink, enjoying the taste of the the full-bodied wine. “I talked to Oliver today.”
“Oh yeah? Are they having a good time?”
“Yes. Although I had to keep the phone well away from my ear. He couldn’t stop raving about the photos. Then Alvaro jumped on. They’re thrilled. I don’t know if they’ve reached out to you or not.”
“I sent Oliver an email to thank him for the check and show them a few of the photos, and he replied saying that they were happy with them, but I didn’t know if he was just being polite.”
“Definitely not.” Jackie laughed softly. “He rarely gets that worked up.”
“I told him I’d have them all finalized by the time they got back, so I have a bit of work to do, but I’m really enjoying it.”
“I’m glad. I felt bad for roping you into that.”
“Please don’t,” Payton said, her hand lightly resting on Jackie’s forearm. “I never would have thought about wedding photography. Taking pictures was something I thought of as a hobby. I’d never even considered the idea of doing it full-time, not until this wedding anyway. So, thank you.”
Jackie took another drink, aware that her cheeks were heating up. What if asking Payton to the wedding had inadvertently led her on a path right back to New York? If Payton hadn’t done the photography, she’d still be thinking about digital marketing and maybe staying here.
Jackie pushed those thoughts aside. She was in no position to be wishing that Payton would stay. They weren’t a couple. They weren’t even dating, really. At the moment, they were just sleeping together, assuming that last night wasn’t a once off.
“You okay?” Payton asked as she turned to face her fully.
“Yeah.”
Payton sighed. “I know we kind of talked last night. About how I didn’t know what I was doing and how you were okay with that, but it’s okay if you’re not. I’d understand. I just don’t want to lead you on. I don’t want to hurt you.”
Jackie took a deep breath. That wasn’t what she thought Payton was going to say. And what was Jackie supposed to say? If she admitted that this was too much, that she’d wanted to stay this morning, then the only solution was to call it off, to stop whatever this was.
“Jackie?”
“I know said that I was tempted to stay this morning. And I was. But it’s more than that. I made myself leave because I didn’t want to get too caught up in this. I really wanted to wake up with you.” Jackie darted her eyes away and cleared her throat. She wasn’t going to get emotional. They hardly knew each other. “I am okay with this, but I won’t lie. I’m kind of hoping that you decide to stay.”
Payton reached for her hand, her palm pressed against the back of Jackie’s hand on the couch between them. “I’m kind of hoping that I stay, too,” Payton said with a smile. “There’s so many reasons to, and this is one of them.”
“I don’t want to pressure you. I’d hate for you to regret staying here and passing up an opportunity in New York.” That was Jackie’s biggest fear, more than getting her heart broken again. She’d hate to distract Payton from what she really wanted, from where she’d prefer to live.
“Right now, I don’t care about New York.” Payton took another drink, her words hanging in the air.
Jackie watched her leave her glass down on the coffee table. “What do you care about?”
“Kissing you.” Payton’s eyes locked onto hers. She brushed a strand of Jackie’s hair away from her eyes, tucking it behind her ear as she inched closer. “This morning seems like days ago now,” she whispered, her voice laced with desire as her lips parted against Jackie’s.
Jackie leaned forward, meeting her halfway, blindly putting her glass down as she cupped Payton’s cheek and kissed her back. She didn’t think she’d ever get tired of kissing Payton. It didn’t matter if it was passionate and heated like it was right now or delicate and sensual liked they’d kissed last night when they were exhausted after another earth-shattering orgasm. Kissing Payton was just intoxicating.
“Hmm,” Payton hummed as their tongues met.
Jackie’s hand threaded through Payton’s silky blond hair, lightly raking her nails across her scalp, eliciting a soft moan from Payton’s lips as they continued to kiss. Payton’s hands were on Jackie’s hips now, urging her closer, and then they were sliding lower, groping her ass.
Jackie groaned as Payton’s tongue danced with her own while Payton guided her onto her lap, only breaking the kiss for a second. Jackie straddled her waist, remembering how hot it was to have Payton on top of her last night.
Payton’s head tilted back as Jackie bent to capture her lips in another heated kiss, her hips moving with Payton’s hands still on her ass, slowly grinding against Payton.
“Fuck,” Jackie breathed between kisses. The feeling of her black pants rubbing up against her had her clit pulsating.
Payton shifted her weight, moving her leg in between Jackie’s. “You’re so sexy,” Payton whispered, looking up at her as Jackie’s palms pressed against the back of the sofa, and Payton’s grip on her ass strengthened.
“I’m coming.” Jackie’s eyes slammed shut as she came. Hard. She held on to Payton as her orgasm took over. She’d never been that easy. Payton had barely touched her, and she was a complete mess, her body pulsating with desire.
When she finally caught her breath, Payton was looking up at her, tucking a lock of Jackie’s hair behind her ear.
“I need you in my bed,” Jackie said, kissing her again before standing up. “Right now.” Jackie led Payton into her bedroom, and she knew they wouldn’t be getting much sleep tonight.
Chapter 16
Payton uncurled her legs, stretching her arms as she opened her eyes, giving them a second to adjust to the dimly lit room. It took her a moment to remember that she wasn’t in her own bed.
She hadn’t meant to fall asleep here, in Jackie’s bed, but there was something different about last night. Maybe, it was just wishful thinking on her part, but Payton could have sworn that they’d shared something special last night, that it hadn’t been just another night of sex with her neighbor.
Jackie had admitted that she didn’t want to leave yesterday morning. That was something, but it was more than that. It was the intensity of their connection, the way their eyes had locked when they’d come together. A flush of heat spread through Payton’s body as she remembered everything they’d done last night.
She turned to see if Jackie was still a
sleep, but the space beside her was empty. A sinking feeling came over her. What if she’d overstayed her welcome?
She pushed herself up, swinging her legs over the side of the bed, letting her bare feet hit the cold tiles. Payton shook it off, taking a deep breath as she stood up. Jackie didn’t want to leave yesterday morning. The chances of her changing her mind in twenty-four hours were slim.
Payton found her clothes scattered around the room and picked them up, getting dressed as she went. She padded into the bathroom and freshened up, combing her hands through her untamed hair and tying it back in a loose ponytail.
The aroma of eggs and toast drifted towards her as she walked down the hall and into the kitchen. Jackie had her back to her, facing the stove, her toned arms working as she flipped the eggs.
“Hey,” Payton said as she entered the kitchen.
“Morning.” Jackie gave her a smile over her shoulder. “How do you like your eggs?”
“Runny? If it’s not too late.”
“Perfect timing,” Jackie said, sliding two eggs on to a plate as two slices of bread popped up from the toaster. “Orange juice?”
“Yes. I’ll get it though.” Payton found the cabinet with the glasses and took two down. “You’ll have some?”
“Please.”
Payton poured them each a glass and followed Jackie out to the balcony where she set their plates down along with some cutlery. “This looks delicious. Thank you.”
“No problem. I have work at twelve again today, so I thought we could have a nice breakfast together before I head off.”
Payton started eating, although she still felt a little queasy, and she didn’t know why. Normally, she was okay with winging it, with doing things spontaneously, but for some reason, all of this with Jackie left her feeling restless. She should have been starving, especially after last night, but Payton ate slowly, more to be polite than because she was hungry.
“I hope you don’t feel like I’m kicking you out,” Jackie said. “But even when you’re the owner, you still have to show up... As much as I’d love to spend the day with you. If Oliver was around, I could probably get away with it.”
“No. Not at all.” Payton took a bite of toast. “I was thinking of going into Malaga today and taking some photos.”
They took their time eating, and Jackie gave her the name of a tapas bar that was kind of off the beaten path. Apparently, they did the best meatballs in Malaga. Not as good as the ones at Sun and Sand, but still amazing.
“Thanks for breakfast,” Payton said when they’d both finished. “I’ll let you get ready for work.” She stood up and took their plates into the kitchen.
Jackie followed her inside, and Payton couldn’t decipher the look on her face. She wasn’t quite frowning, but she looked puzzled.
Payton just wanted to get back to her apartment. She couldn’t get rid of the lump in her throat, and the worst part was, it was entirely her fault that she was feeling this way. Waking up with Jackie this morning made her realize how easily she could fall for her.
“Well, enjoy Malaga,” Jackie said, taking a tentative step forward, and Payton hated that she was the reason Jackie was being this cautious.
“I will.” Payton gave her what she hoped was a reassuring smile. “And don’t work too hard.”
“Surprisingly enough, I still enjoy it, so it doesn’t really seem like work.” Jackie returned her smile, her eyes flickering down to Payton’s lips, but she stayed where she was.
Payton leaned in, brushing her lips against Jackie’s in a soft, tender kiss. She wanted to part her lips, to find Jackie’s tongue, to kiss her like she had last night, but Payton couldn’t. Not right now. She needed to do some serious thinking first. She had to figure out which direction this was going, before either of them got hurt.
It’s too late for that.
Payton pulled away, and Jackie’s fingers lightly caressed her cheek as she pushed a lock of hair away from Payton’s eyes.
“I’ll be back tonight,” Payton said. “If you’re not too tired after work, or sick of me, feel free to knock. I’ll probably be up late editing photos.”
“I’m definitely not sick of you,” Jackie said with a laugh, the light back in her eyes as she smiled. “I’m off tomorrow though.”
“Interesting.” Payton easily returned her smile, momentarily forgetting about everything that was wrong with this situation. Every hour she spent with Jackie was digging herself into an even bigger hole.
Part of her wanted to give in to this free-falling feeling, to really enjoy this, but Payton couldn’t. Not when she didn’t know if she was staying. She loved New York, and as much as she wanted to be around Jackie, she didn’t know if it was enough to leave her hometown behind. She really needed to think about this, because both of them had the potential to get hurt, and that was the last thing she wanted. Jackie deserved so much better.
“So,” Jackie said, walking her to the door, “If not tonight, I’m around all day tomorrow.”
“Okay.” Payton stole another kiss on her way out, unable to keep the smile off her face as she unlocked her door and let herself in.
“What am I doing?” she whispered to herself as she leaned back against her door, wiping her palm across her face. “What the fuck am I doing?”
Chapter 17
Jackie’s feet pushed through the warm sand, the November sun sinking lower in the clear blue sky as the afternoon turned to evening. She glanced over at Payton who was drifting towards the water, letting the tide wash over her bare feet, her sandals dangling from her hand.
“I don’t do this enough,” Jackie said, following Payton towards the water where it was easier to walk on the firmer sand.
“This is only my second time down here, and the weather’s been perfect. I should be walking the beach every day.”
Payton didn’t say it, but Jackie couldn’t stop herself from hearing ‘I should be walking the beach every day, while I still can.’ There was a hint of sadness to Payton’s voice, too, but maybe that was Jackie overthinking things.
They hadn’t spoken anymore about their situation. When Jackie got home from work last night, she knocked on Payton’s door twenty minutes later. They spent the rest of the night together. Payton had made a quick dinner, and they spent the evening talking, getting to know one another better. She knew she was in trouble, but that didn’t mean Jackie was going to bring up their future. It was all unknown, and as much as she wanted to, Jackie couldn’t get comfortable with that uncertainty.
The one thing that was certain was that Jackie was falling for Payton. Hard. It had happened so fast. They didn’t know each other a few weeks ago, and now Jackie was trying to figure out how to keep going if Payton chose New York or London or any place other than the Costa del Sol.
“Jackie...”
Jackie stopped walking when she realized she’d gotten a few paces ahead of Payton. She turned to see Payton, her hand on her waist, staring out at the ocean and the cruise liner in the distance, heading for Malaga. The light breeze kept Payton’s hair away from her face, and Jackie wondered how many shades lighter her hair would get if she decided to say. How much blonder would Payton be a year from now?
“I wanted to talk to you about something,” Payton said as Jackie stood in front of her.
Jackie swallowed. Payton’s eyes were everywhere but on her. “What’s that?” she asked, fearing the worst.
“I’ve been emailing back and forth with a friend from college. Tara. She’s a wedding planner now. I think I told you about her?”
Jackie nodded.
“Well, she’s pretty confident she can get me in with one of New York’s best wedding photographers. She set up this guy with his now husband, and Tara thinks that they’ll do her just about any favor. I don’t even know why she’s helping me. We haven’t spoken since we graduated, but I sent her some of the photos from Marbella, and she was blown away. She thinks I should go after this, and I have to agree with her. I was on such
a high that day.”
Me too. Jackie wouldn’t forget that day anytime soon but for completely different reasons. Her best friend had gotten married, and she’d kissed Payton out on her balcony. The sound of the waves rolling in now brought her right back to that night, and she had to clear her throat, or she wasn’t going to be able to speak with a steady voice. She knew where this was going.
“You should pursue it,” Jackie said, knowing she couldn’t be selfish here. This was about Payton, and what direction she wanted to take her life. This was just a holiday fling, and even though Jackie knew that was the case, it still left her feeling sick.
“Tara said she’d get back to me today.” Payton checked her watch. “It’s only ten o’clock in the morning there now, but she’s expecting to give me a yes, that he’ll be willing to mentor me.”
“So, you’re going back to New York.” Jackie wanted to be happy for her, but she couldn’t fake it. It came out flat, and Payton noticed.
She sighed. “Yes. For the time being. I don’t know how this works. I’ve never had a mentor, but I imagine I won’t be getting paid. It’ll probably be a temporary thing. Maybe two or three months? Maybe six? I don’t know, but I don’t think I can pass it up. Not if this is what I want to do.”
Jackie nodded, the swishing in her ears drowning out the sounds of the ocean beside her. The sharp, metallic taste of blood appeared on her tongue, and as she swallowed it down, she realized she’d been biting the inside of her cheek as Payton spoke.
“I know this isn’t ideal,” Payton said, running a hand through her hair. “The timing is shit. I want to stay here. I want to see what we might have, but I think I have to do this.”
“No. You should. I’m sorry,” Jackie said in a rush. “I’m uh...” She bit back the words that she wanted to say, because she’d made it clear all along that she was okay with this being casual. “I’m just surprised it’s happening so quickly. I mean, I’m happy for you. Sorry, that came out wrong.”