Who Framed the Vegan Vampire (The Immortality Curse Book 3)

by Peter Glenn

  Who Framed the Vegan Vampire

  Immortality Curse Book 3

  Peter Glenn

  Copyright © 2021 by Peter Glenn

  All rights reserved.

  No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means, including information storage and retrieval systems, without written permission from the author, except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.

  WHO FRAMED THE VEGAN VAMPIRE

  First edition. April 8, 2021.

  This is a work of fiction. Similarities to real people, places,

  or events are entirely coincidental.

  Written by Peter Glenn.

  Cover created by Miblart.

  Created with Vellum

  Dedication

  This will come as no shock, but I want to thank my wife. She helps me through all those nasty plot holes.

  Second, I’d like to thank the fans. You all are the reason I write these books.

  Third, I’d like to thank my top-notch editor Christopher Bailey and my beta reader Amanda Bailey. You help make Damian shine through the pages.

  Contents

  Chapter 1

  Chapter 2

  Chapter 3

  Chapter 4

  Chapter 5

  Chapter 6

  Chapter 7

  Chapter 8

  Chapter 9

  Chapter 10

  Chapter 11

  Chapter 12

  Chapter 13

  Chapter 14

  Chapter 15

  Chapter 16

  Chapter 17

  Author’s Notes

  Also by Peter Glenn

  CONNECT WITH THE AUTHOR

  1

  A shudder ran down my spine as I walked along the lonely street. It was two days before Halloween, near closing time for many businesses, but the streets of Seattle were empty. Emptier than usual. It was enough to pique my curiosity, but I ignored it all anyway.

  “Don’t pay it any attention, Damian,” I said aloud. I stuck my hands into the pockets of my jacket for warmth. The wind off the sea was cold today, and it was still foggy. The morning fog had never burned away.

  Part of me wondered if there was something more sinister at play, but that was probably just me being on edge after the events of the last few months.

  Back in June, I’d battled with the spirit of an evil Celtic queen that had come back to life and kidnapped my best friend Mei. I was on my way to see Mei now, actually. Well, sort of. I was on the way to her bar.

  As part of that battle, the evil queen’s spirit had been trapped into my magical good luck sword, Grax’thor. The sword and I have been inseparable ever since. I could never seem to get rid of her—and it’s totally a her.

  Believe me, I’d tried. Just this morning, I’d tried throwing her into a trash compactor and just walking away, but nope. No dice. She’d come back to me minutes later like nothing had ever happened, just hanging off my belt loop. Bitch.

  She also hated me. Right now, in fact, she was probably preparing another insult to hurl at me. That was Grax’thor’s favorite pastime—find ways to dig at my ego and make me feel less of a man. My hand almost went to her hilt to pull her out and take a look, but as I said, it was cold. So I kept my hands in my pockets for warmth and let her hang there, completely ignored.

  More recently, I’d stopped a dastardly plot to overthrow the fae realm and cause it to erupt in chaos and war. That whole incident had cleared up only three weeks ago and was still fresh on my mind, as were the people I’d met on that adventure—LaLuna and Grace.

  LaLuna was the fae guardian I’d helped out along the way, and Grace was the baby at the heart of the whole conflict. She was a fae princess, and an evil man named Regin wanted her dead at all costs so he could rule in her stead. In fact, any minute now, he could come out of the nearest fae portal looking for her with an army at his back. And what good would I be against an army of fae? I’d tried that once, and the results had been lackluster.

  It was this second incident that worried me most of the time, and the one that was on my mind at the moment. Over the course of the investigation and rescue, I’d kind of developed a thing for LaLuna, and her for me. Why she cared for me, I had no idea. I wasn’t that amazing. But hearts could be fickle like that.

  Anyway, because of that, if something was going to come gunning for her, it was a big concern for me, too.

  Still, there was no reason to believe Regin would act now. LaLuna and Grace were hidden away safely, and no one had come for them yet. So long as things stayed that way, I had every reason to believe they were safe. But it nagged at me anyway. Especially on cold, foggy evenings like this. The encroaching fog reminded me of the fae realm.

  Enough about the past, though. I had good things to look forward to tonight. Soon, I’d be at Mei’s bar for her Halloween party. It came every year two days before the holiday. That way, people would be free to do other stuff on Halloween if they wanted, and still have fun at Mei’s.

  A real win-win.

  I turned down another street, and there it was, beckoning me onward like a dog wagging its tail after a long day away; the red door to Mei’s bar. The door was magical all on its own. It only showed itself to those that held no animosity toward the bar’s patrons. Which meant every visit to Mei’s was like a party. Still, I was super excited for this one in particular. Halloween was one of my favorite holidays.

  I made my way over to the door and pushed it open. The door gave easily, and a wave of heat mixed with the sweet smell of dragon’s blood incense and sage hit me right in the face. I inhaled deeply and instantly felt at home.

  Mei’s bar was called Sanctuary. A name I’d recently learned was more than just for show. And it was the best bar I’d ever been to. She served the best drinks, and she was my best friend in the whole world to boot. She was also a dragon, though she normally took on human form. Dragon-sized beings didn’t fit into buildings that well.

  The stairs down into the bar proper called to me, and I answered, taking them one at a time. With each step, I felt more at ease as the worries of the world around me drained away, replaced with anticipation for the night to come.

  I took another step to reach the bottom and looked up to see...

  “Surprise!” the shout erupted from the bar patrons.

  I blinked a few times, unable to believe what I was seeing and thinking it all a dream. Surprise, indeed.

  “Uh… thanks?” I offered in return.

  “Happy birthday, Damian!” Hank said. He was standing in front of the rest of the bar patrons. He was a sheriff and a werewolf, though he was in human form as well tonight. But his human form was pretty imposing. He was tall and well-muscled, if a little bit round around the edges.

  I finally took in the entirety of the scene. There was a rather large red banner in the back of the room that had the words “Happy Birthday” written on it with pictures of balloons and streamers etched on the edges. A few bouquets of actual balloons in several different colors were tied to the edges of the bar, around seven in each bunch. And, of course, all my bar friends were standing between me and the bar proper, grinning at me.

  My gaze fell over the small crowd of people. Behind Hank stood the rest of the bar regulars; Sevin the Frenchman, Sally the siren, Isaiah the magician, Yuri the Russian, and Tacobeh the shaman. They were all looking at me like they expected some sort of speech or something. Mei stood behind them all, on the opposite side of the bar’s polished counter, a wicked gleam in her eyes.

  Something told me this was all her idea. She was just the k
ind of person to pull a stunt like this.

  “What on earth?” I said at last, the words spilling out of my mouth.

  “It’s your birthday party, silly,” Mei said. “What else did you think it was?”

  “My… birthday?” I could scarcely believe it. I gave her a narrow glare. “Who told you that?”

  Mei let out a giggle. “You did, silly.” She shook her head. “It was back when we went to college. One of those nights that you came back to the dorm room stone drunk.”

  “Th… that was every night!”

  “I know.” She flashed me a knowing smile and a wink. “And you shared a lot of nitty gritty details when you were drunk.”

  A shudder ran over me again as I wondered at the hidden meaning behind those words. What other dark truths about my sordid past had I told her about and not remembered later? What other surprises would be in store for me on another night such as this?

  “So, you… you set this whole thing up, then?” I asked.

  Mei nodded. “Of course, silly! Well, it was Sevin’s idea, but yeah, mostly me.”

  Ugh. I’d suspected as much, but it was good to have the confirmation. “But… but why? Why would you…”

  Mei vaulted over the bar with a simple strength that was uncanny for one of her diminutive size. She walked right up to me and ruffled my hair with her fingers. “Everyone deserves to be celebrated some of the time, Damian. Even you.”

  “Ugh.” I rolled my eyes at her and she laughed again. “Fine. But what about the Halloween party? I was really looking forward to it, you know.”

  Mei shrugged. “We can have it tomorrow. It won’t hurt to change the date around once every fifty years or so.”

  I could tell I wasn’t going to win this one. She’d obviously put a lot of time and effort into the whole affair. Especially the surprising me part. Not that I was all that hard to surprise. I barely paid attention to things as it was.

  “Fine,” I muttered. “It’s not like I won’t be here tomorrow, too, anyway.”

  “See?” she replied, grinning at me. “It’ll all work out.”

  I shook my head and opened my mouth to argue further but shut it again just as quickly. There was little point in it. Mei had already won. I was nothing if not predictable, and I spent most of my nights at Mei’s. Well, all the ones I didn’t spend with LaLuna. Of which there’d been plenty of late, if I were being honest with myself. But tomorrow, I’d planned to bring her by the bar so she could see all her friends.

  I let out a gasp of shock. How dastardly of Mei. She must have known that, too. The entirety of her plan was finally falling into place. She could get her little birthday kicks out tonight and LaLuna could stay for the real party. Such a heinous plan.

  I couldn’t stay mad, though. What could I say, she made the best Manhattans in the world. Speaking of…

  “You’d better have a drink for me, then, if you expect me to stick around for this nonsense.”

  A sparkling glass appeared in her hands as if by magic. It probably was. Dragons had a rudimentary control over magic powers. Unlike me. All I had going for me was immortality and blind, stupid luck. Luck which hadn’t gotten me out of this party tonight.

  I accepted the drink with a murmured thank you, and the group quickly dispersed, so I took a seat at the bar to enjoy it. Licking my parched lips, I brought the glass up to my mouth and took a long sip of the Manhattan. Mm. It was heaven, or the closest thing I’d ever found to it, at least. And believe me, I’d looked.

  “Excellent as always, Mei,” I told her, raising the glass in a mock toast.

  She gave me a wink. “Only the best for the birthday boy.” There was entirely too much mirth in her expression as she said those words.

  “You are getting some kind of perverse joy out of all of this, aren’t you?”

  Another shrug. “Isn’t that the best kind?”

  I groaned, but let it drop and took another sip of my drink. The things I’d put up with for free alcohol. Okay, let’s be real for a second. I’d do darn near anything for free booze from Mei…

  My eyes trailed down to Grax’thor hanging at my side. Stupid good luck sword. How come she hadn’t saved me from all of this? I took her out of her sheath and glared at her. “This is all your fault, isn’t it?”

  The runes on the surface of the blade swirled and reformed into a series of words. Go blow yourself.

  Well, that was pleasant. Not that I’d expected anything different.

  I set the drink aside and buried my face in my hands, trying to block out all the noise and let myself have a moment of pity. I really didn’t like celebrating my birthday. It’s why I thought I’d never told anyone about it.

  “Happy birthday, mon ami,” Sevin said a moment later, nudging me and rousing me from my pouting.

  Sevin was an interesting character. I called him The Frenchman, though never to his face. He tried his best to act annoyingly French whenever he could, down to wearing the dorky beret and a fresh rose pinned to his black and white striped shirt. It was like something out of a 50s movie. He’d been born in France, but his parents had moved to America when he was but a few months old. Even so, he tried to live up his French heritage as much as he could.

  He was also clairvoyant, though usually just for a few minutes at a time.

  “Thanks, buddy,” I said, flashing him a grin right before taking another sip of the Manhattan.

  He clapped me on the back. “Why don’t you like your birthdays, mon ami?”

  “I don’t know, really.” I let out a long sigh. “I guess it’s just a reminder that nothing’s killed me yet.”

  Side note—I’d been alive for three hundred years or so now, and life was starting to wear on me. There are only so many times you can watch all your friends grow old and die before you start to get a heavy heart and just stop trying. It had gotten so bad that in recent times I’d purposely thrown myself into the middle of several heated battles, hoping one of them would take me. But nothing ever did. My cursed good luck somehow always made me come out on top. Still, a guy could dream. I was positive it would happen one of these days.

  Gee, my therapist would be so proud of me for all my positive self-talk today. If only she knew.

  “Is it really all that bad, Damian?” Sevin asked.

  I raised my head and eyed him up and down. Sevin’s face glowed in the light of the bar. There was a hint of sadness in his eyes that I hadn’t noticed before, but just a hint. What was it from, I wondered.

  But then, I had no real right to ask. Sevin was a fine acquaintance, but like all the bar patrons, he was more a passing friend. I’d never gotten super close to any of them, nor them to me. It was better that way. Less emotional crap if I ever actually succeeded in absconding from this mortal coil.

  I let out another sigh. “I don’t know, anymore,” I told him honestly. “There are a lot of things that get muddy when you’ve been alive a long time.”

  “Life is good thing,” Yuri’s deep, accented voice boomed from the corner of the room. “You need to see bright side, Damian.”

  Yuri was an immigrant from Russia. I’d never known much about his history or his magic talents, just that he’d fled from a great famine and spoke in broken English. Plus he was pretty handy in a fight and had been a great help when rescuing baby Grace, so I guess I kind of owed him one.

  Still, I shot him an evil glare. Today was not the day.

  In response, he raised his mug high in the air, so I raised mine as well.

  “Give toast to birthday boy,” Yuri said, smiling from ear to ear. Then he finished his drink.

  Part of me wanted to throw my Manhattan at his head, but that would ruin the rest of the drink, and I wasn’t one to waste alcohol. Far too precious. So I took another sip instead. The warm liquid oozed down my throat, making me feel a little better.

  “What would you know about it, anyway?” I asked him.

  Yuri laid his hands bare. “Me live long time too, little man. But always mana
ge to find the happy times.”

  Really? He’d lived longer than a normal human, too? I wondered what god had given him his little “gift.” For me, it had been one of the lesser-known Chinese gods. A god who was no longer around, which made it really hard to return the favor. But Yuri certainly wasn’t Chinese.

  “Meh,” I fired back. “To each their own.”

  I raised my glass in the air again and took another sip. Yuri shrugged his broad shoulders and went back to talking to Isaiah, who was sitting with him.

  I turned my attention back to Sevin. “So, Frenchie, since you’re clairvoyant and all, tell me a prediction. Let me know what’s going to happen on my birthday today. Is it going to be a great one?”

  “Ah, mon ami. For you, I will do anything I can.” He gave me a grand bow, and I grinned back at him.

  Sevin looked intently at me for a moment, his eyes narrowing and a small bead of sweat appearing on his forehead as he stood there, concentrating. He closed his eyes a minute later and rubbed his temples. I had no idea if any of that made any difference—he hadn’t done the whole dog and pony show the last time I’d seen him read the future—but I let him have his fun.

  He let out a long breath a few moments later, looking exhausted.

  “You will experience a major surprise today,” he said in a cryptic tone, “and you will not like it.” His whole body went slack and he put his hand on my arm in a comforting gesture. “I am sorry, mon ami. It does not look good.”

  I shrugged and patted him on the back. “It’s all good. About what I expected, really.”

  My birthdays didn’t tend to go all that well. That was another part of why I never celebrated them. A few years ago, I’d gotten really sick right before my birthday and spent it in the hospital. A few years before that, I’d gotten into a massive fight with my brother and sister, and we had a major falling out. In fact, I still rarely talked to either of them. That’s how bad that fight had been.