Misadventures with a Rookie

by Toni Aleo

  All rational thought stopped as she swirled her tongue along the tip of me. I threw back my head, and she sank to her knees. She cupped my balls and took them in her mouth, sucking them a bit before kissing my thighs and then my hips. “Are you ready?”

  “Fucking hell, I’ve been ready,” I moaned before pulling her up by the back of her elbows and hard against me, capturing her mouth with mine. “I’m almost always ready when it comes to your sexy ass.”

  She bit into my lip, and I cried out softly.

  “Then fuck me,” she whispered.

  “Don’t have to ask me twice,” I muttered against her mouth.

  We tumbled onto the bed, careful of each other’s injuries.

  “We are a mess.”

  She laughed. “We are,” she agreed, kissing my wounded hand.

  “I’d kiss your foot, but that’s gross.”

  “Agreed,” she laughed as she shimmied out of her shorts. I wanted to watch her, but I really needed a condom, so I opened the drawer for one. I was about to close it when she stopped me and reached in. “Unicorn Spit? What the hell?”

  She held up the bottle of lube that I used to whack off, and I shrugged. “It smells good. Like donuts.”

  “You use this?”

  I scoffed. “All the time.”

  “You whack off with stuff that smells like donuts.”

  “Yeah, and then I go eat donuts. It’s actually a damn good time.”

  She giggled and opened the top. “Oh wow, it does smell good.”

  She squirted cool lube all over my cock. I jumped at the shock of the cold, but then her mouth was on me, licking and sucking the lube. “Holy fuck.”

  Looking up, she beamed at me. “It tastes like donuts!”

  I laughed, but it fell off quickly when I was back in her mouth. Gripping her hair, I guided her down my shaft, but then she pulled her mouth from me and we kissed. She tasted so damn sweet. Pulling back, I laughed. “Damn, that does taste good.”

  “Right?” she asked, leaning back and opening her legs for me. I was famished at the sight of her perfect pink pussy. She squeezed the bottle, the lube falling and mingling with her own juices. I couldn’t breathe. I wanted her. “Want a taste?” she asked innocently, moving her fingers through the lube and her own arousal.

  Boy, did I.

  Bo lay back against the bed so I could lick her free of the lube. I wasn’t going to miss a spot, and her moans and giggles turned me on even more. I gave her clit the love that I wanted to give it all the time. I took my time, drawing out each lick, suckling and lightly nipping at her hard nub. She was squirming and jerking as my name came out in spurts. Her whole body was flushed as she arched off the bed, crying out as she hit her climax. When her legs started to shake, I laughed, kissing her knees before reaching for the condom.

  “Ow.”

  I looked up at her, and gone was her O face. Her face was scrunched up, and she was leaning to the side, drawing her legs together. “What’s wrong?”

  “Ow! I don’t know!” she cried out, opening her legs before she started to fan her pussy. “It burns! Oh my God!”

  “What burns?” I asked as she screamed frantically, squeezing her legs together.

  “My pussy! Oh my God, Gus!” she cried, and for a second I thought she was joking, but then she opened her legs, looking down at it as she fanned it even more.

  Looking between her legs, my eyes widened, and then I started panicking. “What the hell is wrong with your puss?”

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  Bo

  Pressing my fingers to my nose, I closed my eyes as the doctor went on.

  “The swelling will go down and the hives will go away, so don’t worry about that. The reason you couldn’t breathe was because you had a panic attack—we think. But all in all, you’re fine. Just never use, um…errr…Unicorn Spit.”

  I wanted to die.

  “Duly noted,” Gus said beside me.

  Yup, I definitely wanted to die.

  “Or better yet, any lubricant. I think you may have an allergy to lubricants. Are you allergic to latex?”

  Someone kill me.

  “No, we’ve used condoms, and she never did all that. I mean, you saw it. Her pu—errr, I mean, vagina… It was huge.”

  Oh, so it’s funny to let me die slowly? Great. Thanks, universe.

  “Oh, okay, then it has to be something in this lubricant.” The doctor—who, by the way, was very good-looking—asked, “This was the only lubricant you’ve used?”

  Gus, not even the least bit embarrassed, nodded. “Yeah, she’s usually good without it. We got a little freaky, if you know what I mean,” he said, wiggling his brows.

  “Oh my God, Gus. Shut up!”

  He just laughed. The asshole laughed.

  “It’s really no big deal,” the doctor said over a smile. “This isn’t even the weirdest thing I’ve seen.”

  “Wonderful.”

  “Really? What was the weirdest?” Gus asked.

  “Wow, are we done?” I asked, ready to go.

  “Um, yes, you’re released, Ms. St. James. I would suggest no sex for the next forty-eight hours or until there is no more swelling.”

  “No problem,” I said, hopping off the exam table. “I’m sorry. I need to go. I already missed my internship, and I’m hoping I can make it to my game.”

  Unfortunately, the doctor shook his head. “Actually, I don’t want you going to work tonight. Too much walking can irritate that area. I want you to go home and take it easy. You have a lot going on there.”

  “You think?” I snapped, and then I held up my hand. “I’m sorry. My vagina hurts, and I’m crabby.”

  “With good reason,” Gus added with a shrug.

  But really, what in the hell was I supposed to tell work? My vagina was broken! “Ugh…”

  “Can you write her a note but leave off why?” Gus asked then, coming to my side.

  God bless him.

  “Oh yeah, that’s no problem. Just have them call me if they need any more information. I’ll never tell them what is going on, though.”

  Taking the note, I nodded. “Thank you, Doctor.”

  “See ya,” Gus said to him as we followed him out. “We’ll need to get a beer sometime. I need to know these stories.”

  The doctor laughed.

  Gus wrapped his arm around me, but I wanted to shake him off. I couldn’t believe this was happening. My pussy was swollen to the size of a softball. There were hives, and it was scary and big, and oh my God, I wanted to die.

  Now.

  Through the whole thing, though, Gus was amazing. He never made me feel disgusting or anything. He freaked out with me, but once I started having problems breathing, it was like a switch came on. He went into saving mode, and he got me to the hospital quickly. He never left my side. He sat with me and tried to be funny, but I was so embarrassed, I couldn’t even laugh. Hell, I still hadn’t looked him in the eyes yet.

  Out of all the things to happen with Gus Persson, I had to have the swollen vagina.

  I have shit luck.

  When we got outside, Gus started humming a very popular Alicia Keys song, and I whipped my head to him, my eyes sending daggers. “You better not.”

  “What?” he asked innocently, but he kept on humming!

  “Shut up!”

  He couldn’t hold in his laughter. It was sputtering, his eyes bright as he squeezed me into his chest. “But your sex was on fire!”

  “I hate you,” I groaned as he laughed, kissing my mouth free of its pout.

  Pulling away, still laughing, he said, “I’ve been waiting all night to sing that, but I was worried you’d kick me out.”

  “I would have,” I confirmed.

  “Figured so. Now get in.” He shut the door and then leaned on the open window, his eyes level with mine. The air was cool, and he looked beautiful standing there. There was still sand in his hair from earlier, and his face was a little sun-kissed. It was honestly stunning l
ooking at him, but then I looked away, still so damn embarrassed.

  I mean really, my vagina had to be an asshole and swell up?

  How unfair.

  “So here’s my plan.”

  I looked back over at him and scrunched up my face. The plan was to go home and hide for a couple weeks. “Plan?”

  “Yeah, we’re both injured, can’t play tonight,” he said simply, his eyes sparkling with amusement. “So, I’m thinking ice cream, noodles, some Netflix, and an ice pack for your puss.”

  I glared, but he beamed back at me.

  “We can watch whatever you want, and I’ll even hold the ice pack to your pussy. If you want to take your panties off, I support that. We’ll stay in my room.”

  I crossed my arms and pouted.

  He continued, “I’ll even let you wear some of my comfortable clothes so we don’t have to go back to your apartment and face Lizzy. Remember, ice pack, your pussy, ice cream. Damn good time, baby.”

  Still not answering him, I glared at the dashboard.

  “And as soon as you’re nice and healed, I’ll suck that pussy for hours on end to make sure it’s happy again.”

  He was smiling at me, his face so bright and full of happiness. He was annoying as fuck, but then so damn adorable. Yet, I couldn’t understand what was going on between us. “Why are you being nice to me? Most guys would run at the sight of that.”

  “Duh, I’m not like most guys. Plus, I don’t care what it looks like as long as it works.”

  I rolled my eyes. “Oh gee, thanks.”

  He reached out, cupping my face. “And attached to you.” Running his thumb along my lip, he whispered, “Don’t be embarrassed. I’ll never tell anyone.”

  I realized that really was the main reason I was so embarrassed. I didn’t want to be the talk of the locker room. But hearing him say that, seeing his eyes, I could tell he’d never do that to me. “You won’t?”

  “Never.” His eyes were serious and dark as they held mine. “I wouldn’t do that to you.”

  Holding his hand in mine, I exhaled. “Chocolate ice cream?”

  “Duh, with chocolate syrup.”

  I smiled. “And Friends? Can we watch Friends? Or The Office!”

  “Yes! Office!” He cheered and kissed my nose. When he tried to pull away, I wouldn’t let him. His eyes searched mine, a smile pulling at his lips. “You okay?”

  I couldn’t believe what was happening. Just hours ago, I said this was nothing but fun, but something was swirling deep in my gut, and I was pretty sure it was stupid feelings for this goofy goof who wanted nothing more than to make me feel good. I wanted to believe that this could be something, but I was the girl who had the worst luck.

  Hence, the swollen vagina.

  Yet, even I couldn’t dwell on that as I stared into those green depths of his. “Thank you,” I whispered, kissing his palm. “Really, it means a lot that you were there for me today.”

  His face changed. Gone was the goofy grin, replaced with a serious but equally hot quirk of his lips. “Hey, it’s becoming our thing, ER visits. Wonder if they’ll set aside a bed for us once a week.”

  “Wouldn’t that be cool? Have pizza waiting?”

  “And lots of ice packs, some pain meds.”

  “Yes, and condoms, ’cause we’ll have to do it at least once there.”

  He cracked up as he nodded. “Oh, I’d bend you over the little desk thingy with no qualms whatsoever.”

  I bubbled with laughter. “Whatever. You’re next, so I’ll probably have to give you head.”

  “Oh, a BJ from my BJ, how sweet.”

  Rolling my eyes, I laughed. “Oh, shut it.”

  He shrugged. “But you’ll be there, promise?”

  “I told you, no promises,” I reminded him, but he shook his head.

  “No, I want a promise on this one.”

  “I will,” I answered automatically without really thinking. “As long as you want me.”

  “I will, and I promise I’ll always be there with you,” he shot back, mirroring my words before kissing my nose once more. “Let’s go.”

  “Okay.”

  I watched as he walked around the truck, fishing his keys out of his shorts. It wasn’t him that had my heart skipping all kinds of beats in my chest.

  No, it was the grin on his face.

  A smile that took over my world.

  Exhaling hard, I shook my head because the voice in my head said, You are positively the biggest idiot on this planet, Bo St. James.

  But I didn’t care.

  I didn’t hate him.

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  Bo

  “I need your notes.”

  Going through the door that Lizzy was holding open for me, I pulled out my notes from our last class and handed them to her. “Did you fall asleep?”

  Lizzy gave me a look. “The fact that you didn’t even notice me during that class is sad, Bo. Like really, how do you zone into class like that?”

  “Because I want to pass with the highest grade.”

  “Overachiever.”

  “You could be too, if you weren’t out sleeping with the professor all night long.”

  “Um, I think that’s the epitome of overachiever. I’m doing that extra for the A.” She giggled beside me, her lips pursing as she shrugged. “Plus, I’ll take sex with Roger over that class any day, and that’s a promise.”

  “You’re insane.” I laughed as I tucked my stuff back in my bag. “What are you doing for break? Please don’t tell me you’re going to Mr. McMillian’s office.”

  She gave me a dry look. I know she didn’t like me calling him by his last name, but he was my professor, and it was weird to call him by his first name.

  “Yes, I’m going,” she said. “He brought us lunch.”

  “How darling.”

  “It is. I really like him.”

  “Good,” I answered with a nod. “But that leaves me lonely for lunch.”

  “Call your little boy toy. He’ll bring you something.”

  “I’m not going to call him to ask him to bring me food. That’s so relationship-like.”

  Again with the dry look. “Aren’t you two in a relationship?”

  I made a face. “We’re dating.”

  “Uh-huh, which means you’re in a relationship.”

  “Whatever.” I rolled my eyes, pulling my phone out to text Gus. I had spoken with him earlier, but then I was in classes the rest of the morning. I sorta, kinda, in a way, missed him. Things were good with us, like really good, and while I was still trying to hold back being honest with myself about my feelings, it was getting harder and harder by the day.

  I was about to text him when Lizzy said, “Wait… Isn’t that Gus right there?”

  I looked up, following where she was pointing, to in fact see Gus leaning up against his truck. My face scrunched up in confusion while he pushed off the truck, his lips curving as he came toward me. “Hey.”

  “Hey,” I said, still not sure what he was doing there.

  “I brought you lunch.” He reached for me and kissed me softly on the lips before squeezing my hips.

  “Guess you won’t be alone now,” Lizzy sang as she started off the other way. “Bye, Gus.”

  “See ya,” he called before he wrapped his arm around my neck, pulling me close. “Are you hungry?”

  I leaned my forehead into his cheek. “Starving. What made you think of doing this?”

  He chuckled. “I just figured you’d be hungry since you had a long day. Plus, I just wanted to see you.”

  “You did?” I asked. I felt my heart flutter as we reached his truck.

  “I so did,” he answered. He reached for the bag of Panera and then guided me to the bed of the truck. “I’ve been thinking about you all morning.”

  “Whatever. You were not.” I giggled as he brought the back hitch down. He took my hand and helped me up into it and then set the food beside me.

  He shot me a look as he hopp
ed up with ease. “I did too. You’re all I think about.”

  That warmed me from the inside out. “Well, that’s a nice thing to say.”

  “It’s the truth.” He handed me a salad and cup of soup. “That’s what you like, right?”

  I smiled as I nodded. It blew me away that he remembered what I ordered the last time we went. “It is.”

  “Good.” He dug into a hearty sandwich and a bag of chips. “So you leave in a couple weeks?”

  “Week after next.” I wasn’t necessarily dreading going home, but I wasn’t too excited. My parents, or better yet, my mom, were a bit trying, to say the least. While I was looking forward to going back on one level, on another, after all the stuff that had gone on between us, I was dreading all the drama I knew I’d have to face.

  He nodded slowly, and I could tell he wasn’t too pleased I was leaving.

  “Don’t want me to leave?” I asked.

  He shook his head. “No, but then I’m leaving too for a couple days, so we’ll both deal.”

  “Have you heard good things about long-distance relationships?”

  He scoffed. “Relax, Bocephus. It’s a road trip and a trip home for you. It’s not like I’m moving. We’ll be fine.” I sent him a grin, and he shot one right back before he asked, “How was class?”

  “Long.”

  “Cool. How much longer do you have in school?”

  “I graduate in May.”

  “That’s awesome. Not much longer.”

  “Yeah, I’m excited. I’m doing really well.”

  “Of course you are. You’re smart as a whip.”

  I beamed over at him. “Okay, you don’t have to suck up to me. I’ll sleep with you tonight.”

  He laughed out loud. “That’s a given. Your puss is healed, and now it’s time for me to make it happy.”