Unhinge Me

by Ann Montgomery

  Not even thinking about stopping anymore, Alex’s body wanted to scream. “Please,” is all she said, and he plunged into her, making them both cry out. He filled her so tightly it felt as if he was always there. Slowly he began pumping, trying to prolong it as long as he could, for her. But slow is not what she was thinking and her body responded by matching his rhythm and quickening it. The slow ache began to build immediately. He kissed her lips, her ear, her neck, each thrust bringing a new kiss. With one hand he fondled her nipple. Alex’s mind went crazy with desire with all the different sensations coming from different directions. She couldn’t think straight and all she could do was feel the pleasure. When she moaned, he responded with his own moan and the pumping got faster.

  Her pleasure was driving him senseless. Caleb tried to slow down but couldn’t because he, too, was building. Fast and desperate, they reached a height neither of them had ever had before, or thought was even possible. Alex heard herself screaming and knew she should stop, but she couldn’t. Finally, when she felt like she might see actual stars, they both exploded together as wave after wave of pleasure rolled through them.

  Out of breath, Caleb collapsed on top of her and buried his face into her long hair.

  For the longest time, they just laid there like that, neither of them moving as both of them just tried to catch their breath and retrieve their sanity.

  Alex was in one of the girl’s bathrooms freshening up and thinking about what had just happened. She was in shock and could not believe it. She looked at herself in the mirror and stared at her flushed cheeks. Her lips were a little swollen from Caleb’s kisses. She touched them in memory and smiled involuntarily. What did I just do? she wondered. No matter how attracted to Caleb she was, he was still her professor. It had all happened so fast, but something about being around him just felt right. She wasn’t sure what was going to happen now, but somehow she didn’t regret a thing. That was the most amazing experience she’d ever had and she knew enough to know it wasn’t casual. Risk or no risk, she was in this. Her head still a little groggy from the orgasm, she walked back to the classroom. It was empty.

  On his desk, Caleb had left a note. Hurt and confused, Alex thought about leaving without even reading it. She stood there staring at it, trying to decide what to do. Curiosity finally won out and she picked it up.

  Please forgive me.

  It’s complicated.

  Meet me tomorrow at five. Here.

  Please.

  “Seriously? That’s it?” her words echoed in the empty room. She crumpled up the paper, threw it back on the desk, and walked out.

  Caleb didn’t sleep well that night and almost slept through his alarm the next morning. Starting the morning already feeling like crap, he decided to skip the coffee and wake up naturally. He clumsily put on his running shoes and headed out the door toward campus.

  Exercise had always helped him clear his head, and after last night, he felt like he had an emotional hangover. Back home in England, rowing was his preferred exercise. Here, it was running. In fact, running was one of Caleb’s favorite things to do. He wasn’t very fast or good yet, but part of that was because he didn’t follow the running trails, opting for rougher paths instead. He went a different way every time and, slowly but surely, Caleb was running his way all over the twenty thousand plus acres the campus had to offer. He was loving getting to know the parkland.

  Running down to a small lake, he found the path that went all the way around it and settled into a good pace. Soon he was breathing heavily and sweating and trying to sort through his thoughts.

  A part of him knew he was playing with fire when he’d invited Alex after class, but he tried to delude himself into thinking it was innocent. He had avoided his feelings for her all semester, but her outfit and the poetry was all too much for him. When his lips finally met hers, he knew he was undone. Afterwards, he’d sat at his desk in shame. Reality felt like a slap in the face. He could get fired, and he deserved to be. What he’d done was unethical. The problem was that, as much as he hated himself for doing it, he wanted to do it again.

  Even more ashamedly, he’d taken off and left Alex there with only a stupid note in excuse. If he was her, he wouldn’t meet him, and if he wanted a clear conscience, he had to hope she didn’t. But the truth was, he really wanted to see her again.

  He ran until his legs were jelly and got home sweating and frustrated. He showered and got to class early, hoping the day would go fast.

  When five o’clock finally came around, Caleb had already collected his papers and was sitting at his desk, watching the door. He watched five, then ten minutes go by, but Alex never came.

  Alex wondered if it was a mistake not meeting Caleb the next day, but her pride wouldn’t let her do it. She didn’t go to class the next week either. She knew she was being immature by avoiding him, but she couldn’t help it. When she was around him, she couldn’t think straight.

  She was so annoyed with herself for giving into him so easily. She had never moved that fast with anyone in her life. Not to mention that he was a teacher. A teacher! Never in her wildest dreams had Alex ever considered sleeping with a teacher. It was just not the kind of person she was. And then for him to leave her there, like what had happened meant nothing to him. She was embarrassed on so many levels.

  To do something so reckless when she was so close to gradation was just insanity. And yet… she couldn’t shake the feeling of his hands all over her or the way he kissed her. His lips fit with hers perfectly, and he kissed her with such passion and desperation. It was hard to forget.

  When the next week came, she decided enough was enough. They were both adults and could handle a few months around each other. She hoped he would just ignore her so they could put the whole thing behind them. Graduation was just around the corner and then she would be gone and never have to see him again.

  When the time came for class, she intended to hold her head up high and waltz right in. At the last second, she chickened out and snuck in when he wasn’t looking instead. It worked. Caleb didn’t even notice she was there until class had already started.

  She kept her head down for most of the hour, but every time she lifted it, Caleb was looking right at her. She looked around at the other students to see if they noticed, but they didn’t seem to.

  She was annoyed to see that he looked better than ever. Even though she tried not to, she couldn’t help sneak peeks at him. God, he was sexy. She was so attracted to the cool confidence he had while he stood there reading, his sexy voice gliding over the words as if he’d written them himself. His muscles strained underneath his shirt, and now she didn’t have the luxury of being oblivious to what was under there. She could still picture his strong arms and bare chest. She looked into his eyes, but she couldn’t hold his gaze for too long. The deep blue bore into her as if pleading with her.

  When class was over, she was so engrossed in contemplating her exit strategy that she didn’t even notice it had ended. Her plan was to run out with the crowd, but by the time she realized what was happening, half the class had already left. She grabbed her books as quickly as possible and made a run for it. Half way down the steps, she dropped a folder and the papers in it scattered across the floor. Not even looking up, she scrambled to get them all back in their proper place. Keeping her head low, as if trying to disappear, she walked toward the door, hoping it wasn’t too late. The last thing she wanted was to be alone with him again. Click.

  Shit.

  She sighed and looked up to see Caleb standing by the now closed classroom door. She stopped and, finally having no choice, looked up at him.

  “Alexandria, please,” he said softly, taking a step towards her.

  The effect his closeness had on her made her nervous and frustrated at the same time.

  “Look, we really don’t have to talk about this. It was clearly a mistake on both our ends. We can be adults about this and just pretend it didn’t happen,” she rushed out. She didn’t know
who she was trying to convince, him or herself.

  Caleb walked closer to her, his eyes searching hers.

  “Is that what you really want?” He touched her arm lightly. “Because if it truly is, I will leave you alone.” He didn’t like it, but he meant it. He was so glad to see her, but he could tell she was freaking out. The last thing he wanted to do was come off like a creepy stalker.

  “But be sure, Alexandria, because for the record, I have no regrets… except—” before he could finish his thought, Alex’s eyes widened and she backed away. He knew what conclusion she was jumping to and closed the gap between them so he was standing near her again. “No, listen to me,” his deep voice commanded. “The only regret I have is leaving you there afterwards. I regret nothing about what we did. I know I should, but I don’t.”

  Alex warmed at his confession. She wasn’t ready to admit she agreed with him, so she said nothing. She had backed herself all the way back to the desks and couldn’t go any further without falling over one. Caleb had kept up with her, so he only had to take one step to be right up against her. He did so and just stood there looking down at her. He reached out a hand to lightly touch her face.

  “I know, as your teacher, it’s wrong to even ask you this, but give me another chance,” he spoke as he leaned into her. His breath was intoxicating and Alex bit her lip to try and keep her head on straight. “I think we deserve a chance to figure out what this thing between us is.”

  Alex swallowed. Her mouth felt dry and she couldn’t speak. His nearness made her feel completely overwhelmed.

  When she didn’t respond, he spoke again. “Meet me tomorrow night,” he begged. He wanted to grab her into his arms and kiss her, but he restrained, waiting to see what she would say.

  Alex finally couldn’t take it any longer. She slipped out from between him and the desk at her back and mumbled, “I just don’t know.” Then she ran out the door. Once she was away from him, she was able to take a deep breath and clear her mind, but she still didn’t know what to think about what had just happened. And she had no idea what she was going to do tomorrow night.

  Alex had three classes on Fridays so it was a busy day for her. It didn’t leave her much time to think about what she was going to do that evening. She still couldn’t decide if she should meet Caleb like he’d asked. On the one hand, she was humiliated that she had given herself to him so easily and he had left her there without saying a word. On the other hand, she knew what he had sacrificed to be with her and the danger he’d put himself in. If that was his reason for leaving her without saying goodbye, then maybe she could at least listen to what he had to say. Besides, she couldn’t deny the way he made her feel. Maybe he was right. Maybe they did deserve to find out what was between them.

  After all her classes were over, she drove home to her apartment to think. She sat in her small kitchen at the round table that took up most of the space. She wished her grandmother was still alive. She always had the best advice. Thinking about her grandmother always made Alex a little sad. It had been almost four years since she had died and left Alex all alone.

  Bear, the black and white tuxedo cat that her grandmother got her when she was fourteen, mewed at her from in front of her food dish. Mostly, the cat drove her crazy, always wanting attention only when it suited her and biting her when it didn’t. Deep down she loved the furball, though. Maybe that was because Bear made her feel connected to her grandparents still.

  Suddenly, Rachael walked in. She never knocked. It was one of those necessities that disappeared when you were as close of friends as they were. Taking one look at her friend, she said “Missing Gramma?” Rachael knew Alex well, and she always got a sad, faraway look when she was thinking about her past.

  Alex nodded. It was when she wasn’t sure what to do about something important that she missed her grandmother the most. She shook away her thoughts and was so glad to see Rachael that she jumped up and hugged her.

  “Uhhh, ok,” Rachael smiled. “Don’t know what I did to deserve that, but I’ll take it!”

  They sat down at the small kitchen table together. Rachael also knew when to change the subject.

  “So what are we doing tonight?” she asked. It was pretty much a given that the girls spent Friday nights together relaxing after the hard week and “getting the kinks out”, as Rachael liked to call it, even though Rachael was usually the only one doing anything kinky.

  “Actually, I have to talk to you about that,” Alex began, and before she knew it she had gone into complete and gory detail about everything with Caleb.

  “It’s about time!!” Rachael said matter-of-factly.

  Alex blinked. “Really? That’s your reaction?” she asked, astonished.

  “Well, yeah,” Rachael said innocently. “I have been waiting for you to find some good action since I met you. It’s a total stress reliever!” She stuck her tongue out at Alex.

  “Ew,” said Alex.

  Rachael smirked. “On the other hand, I am slightly jealous of what might have been the best sex ever. Sounds like this one guy I met in Italy. Those Italian stallions really live up to their name by the way,” she said, wandering off into her own thoughts.

  Alex smiled at her friend and stood up to feed Bear and get a cold green tea, automatically getting one for Rachael too. As she did the motions, she was busy thinking. Rachael didn’t seem to be much help on this one. She was going to have to decide for herself whether she should meet Caleb. Who was she kidding, she had already made the decision. She was going to go and she knew it. Instead of going around in circles about it, she decided to go figure out what to wear. At least this time she could wear her own clothes. She ran upstairs to find an outfit.

  “Just make sure to wear a front clasping bra!” Rachael called after her.

  Alex found herself being paranoid as she walked to the classroom to meet Caleb that night. She kept looking around to see if anyone saw her, but no one did. It wasn’t like she hadn’t walked to class dozens of times before, but that was when she didn’t have unsavory intentions. Nervously, she stopped before his door and took a deep breath, remembering the last time she’d stood there. Wanting answers, she took a deep breath and walked in. She found Caleb pacing the room rather than sitting at his desk this time.

  Instead of speaking, she looked down the hall to make sure no one was around and then quietly shut the classroom door.

  She could feel the tension in the room as Caleb stopped and stared at her. He was so relieved to see her there. He hadn’t realized, until that moment, how afraid he was that she wouldn’t come. This was his second chance and he knew he wouldn’t get a third. He wanted to speak, to say a million things. He wanted to explain and get on his knees and beg her forgiveness for his coldness the other night. He tried to read her face to see what she was thinking. He walked closer to her.

  When he reached her, she just stood looking at him, so he knew he was going to have to be the one to start talking. But instead of getting out all the words he wanted to say, he impulsively grabbed her, threw her up against the classroom wall, and kissed her passionately.

  Alex gasped from the impact and felt consumed by the kiss before her brain even had time to react. She was so confused and couldn’t decide whether to slap him or wrap her arms around him and lose herself in his lips. She chose the latter.

  Together they stood like that, exploring one another’s mouths, barely coming up for air. Caleb held her face in his hands while he invaded her mouth, taking possession over it. She kissed him back eagerly, trying to give back to him as much as he was trying to take. Dizzy with desire, Alex had a distant thought that she should be hesitating, but the way Caleb kissed her was intoxicating and she couldn’t think of anything but him.

  Caleb ran his hands through Alex’s hair. It was even softer than he’d imagined. He sighed, pulled away, and looked into her eyes.

  “I have to apologize,” he breathed. “What I did that night was unacceptable. You deserve so much more than my
cowardly actions.”

  Oh yeah, that, she thought to herself.

  Caleb looked at her harder. “The next time I make love to you, and I will, I’ll hold you afterwards like you deserve,” he promised.

  Alex’s heart skipped a beat at his words. The thought of a next time made her weak in the knees… and more than a little moist.

  Suddenly, they heard footsteps in the hall outside the door. They both froze. With the door shut and locked, it wouldn’t look good if they were found in there together. Someone knocked on the door. Caleb put his hand over Alex’s mouth and his finger to his lips to tell her to be quiet. All that could be heard was the loud beating of their hearts. Alex’s head was tucked into Caleb’s neck as they stood silently waiting. She resisted the urge to nip at it.

  Finally, a piece of paper slipped under the door and the footsteps disappeared down the hall. They both let out a held breath. Caleb walked over and picked up the paper. Seeing that it was just someone’s late assignment, he walked over and set it on his desk.

  “I can’t do this,” he said, turning back to her.

  “Oh.” Alex’s heart dropped. He was right, what they were doing was wrong. Maybe it was better if they ended it now.

  But instead of telling her to leave, he walked over and took her hands in his.