Tomorrow, she would fly back to Italy. Return to her adventures. To spending time with herself, figuring out what she wanted out of this thing called life. But tonight, she would gaze out of her hotel window and cherish the thought that she once again shared the city with her Mister.
***
“What the hell happened, Hastings?” Lily asked, unclipping the pins from her hair as they headed toward the dressing rooms. “You’ve never missed a cue. Not even on your first night.”
“I know. I’m so sorry. Thanks for recovering so quickly for me.” Lily had saved his ass out there on that stage. He’d reached out of the “mirror” toward her and froze. Unable to think, unable to move, unable to even so much as breathe. He had felt something, deep in his bones. The same feeling he’d had the first night he’d taken on this role. It was crazy, but... he felt Evangeline’s gaze on him. He smiled and fought the urge to run back onstage and jump into the audience, searching for someone who couldn’t possibly be there. She’d left him. Charlotte had been right. He’d had to let her go, no matter how much it hurt. The only reason he hadn’t gone completely mad the past three months was because of this show, and now, it was over.
He spent the rest of the night trying to shake the feeling that maybe she’d come back. He texted Charlotte to ask if she’d heard from Evangeline. Her quick reply just said Not in over a week. Was she dead? He shook his head. He had to stop thinking the worst every time he went more than two days without an update.
He did his best to focus on the here and now, enjoying the after party, and his last night with the people who had become like a family to him.
He was going to miss them all when he went back to New York next week. But he had to find out. Evangeline was off living her own life, and he had to do the same. He lost himself in the camaraderie for a while, letting himself enjoy the company, and celebrate what was a great success.
But later, when he was alone in his hotel room, he stared at his phone for a long time. He’d done a bad thing, snooping in his sister’s phone and taking down the number Evangeline had contacted her from. He hadn’t used it. Not once in three months, though he’d wanted to more times than he could count.
He knew if he texted her, she would make good on her threat, change her number, and not even Charlotte would be able to contact her. But he couldn’t stop himself.
Are you here? Were you there? The message sat unsent on his phone for four hours. He’d paced the room, he’d raided the minibar, he’d watched TV. He even popped in the DVD of The Surrender of Heidi. He kept a copy buried in a nondescript CD case in his bags. Because watching it made him feel closer to Evangeline. Watching it made it feel like he maybe wasn’t so alone in this world. He had tried to allow the spank of Heidi’s ass, the big black moment, the big gesture, and the happily ever after, not to mention all the sex... but none of it held his attention. He watched the sunrise from his window and could wait no longer.
He pushed send and watched his screen. Waited. His text would make absolutely no sense unless she was there. The three dots appeared. She was writing back. Probably to tell him off. But he didn’t care. She was writing back!
He waited. And waited. The three dots disappeared. No message came.
He checked his phone. Rechecked it. Checked it again. Raided the mini bar a second time. Ordered room service, which sat, untouched. He looked at his phone every few seconds. Eventually, exhaustion was too hard to ignore, and he fell asleep. A beep woke him. He scrambled, panicked, bleary-eyed, grabbed his phone, fumbled, unlocked it, rubbed his eyes so he could actually read it.
You were magnificent.
Three words. That’s all. And nothing more. But those three words told him everything he needed to know. Those three words told him not to give up. For the first time in months, he was filled with hope. Now, he just had to figure out what came next for him. Choose a path. Because one way or another, his future included Evangeline Turner.
Chapter Thirty-Four
Tuscany had lost its shine. Sure, it was still warm. Beautiful. But as Evangeline walked through the village back toward the hotel she’d been staying in the past two weeks, she just wanted to be back in Chicago.
Are you here? Were you there?
Leo’s words reverberated around in her head, over and over again. He’d known. Somehow, he’d known she was there. Damn Charlotte for giving him her number.
She didn’t have the heart to change it now. Had Leo had it this whole time? If so, why was now the first time he’d reached out? Because he’s giving you what you told him you needed, the same way he’s been doing for since he barged his way into your life. He’s giving you what you told him you wanted. You told him you had to leave, that you needed to figure things out on your own, and so he hadn’t reached out.
She sighed and let herself into her room. She had hoped he would text her back, but he hadn’t. She wanted to say something more, but still, she felt too unsure. She wasn’t ready to go home yet. She wasn’t ready to try to find out what she wanted long term. Eventually, she would spend down the life insurance money from Benson’s policy. And then she had to figure out what to do with her life. Leo’s text had given her something akin to hope. That maybe, someday, if she didn’t feel like she would be a burden to him, that they might be together. For real.
Her phone rang, and her heart leapt. Was it him? She glanced at the screen.
Charlotte.
She answered. “Hey,”
“Hey, yourself. I just got a very cryptic text from my brother. Everything okay?”
“Yeah. All good. I’m just hanging out in my hotel room in Tuscany. Which, my God, sounds so self-indulgent. I’m sorry. How are you?”
“Good. I’m good. The house is in good shape. Which is actually why I’m calling.”
“Oh. So, you’re not calling about your brother’s text?” What had Leo said to her? She sat down in the small chair and looked out onto the balcony. She thought maybe Charlotte had been calling about Leo. She tried to tamp down her disappointment.
“No. Well, I guess that’s why I’m calling right this second, but I was going to call you today. So, anyway... are you planning to come home anytime soon?”
“I don’t know, honestly.” Up until she’d gotten that text, she would have said no, emphatically, but now, she wasn’t sure. She could keep traveling. Did she want to keep traveling? Maybe. She hadn’t ever really thought about how much world there was out here to see. Once she was out of her mother’s house, she hadn’t wanted to leave Nevada.
“Well, I’ve enjoyed being back to work, and I like the job all right, but I think I’ve been out of the workforce too long. I’ve decided I really don’t like having to report to someone else. It still makes me feel... like I’m beholden to someone else, which makes me feel too much like I’m back with that prick.”
“I see.” Evangeline’s stomach flipped. She knew what was coming next. Charlotte was going to ask about buying Kempert Manor. She’d barely had any bills the past few months, and while she’d also come to the house with next to nothing, she didn’t need to buy much of anything. She probably hadn’t made a ton of money yet at the law firm she’d been working in, but it would probably be enough to start using the house as a Bed and Breakfast, if that’s what she really wanted.
Evangeline figured they’d end up here eventually, she just wasn’t ready to make this decision. To think about giving up the house that Benson had loved so much. She wouldn’t really be giving it up. It would be in the family. It would belong to his sister. And Leo. Unless Charlotte convinced him to sell too.
Charlotte didn’t say anything for long moments.
Evangeline took a deep breath, looking out at the village below her. Trying to figure out where home might be for her. Was it here? Was it Kempert Manor? Somehow, the thought of going back there, with Charlotte being the only Hastings sibling in that house didn’t make it feel like home.
“I’m not quite ready to sell it, Charlotte, but I’ll make yo
u a deal, huh?”
“What do you have in mind?”
“Well, you’ll need to go to the historical society in town first and foremost. With that being a landmark, you’ll need approval to try to turn it into a B&B. And you’ll have to submit plans to them for any renovations you intend to do. Do you intend to do any?”
“I do. A few things. I was thinking of taking one of the parlors and making it a first-floor bedroom, primarily for me, but if a guest needed first floor accommodations, I could use that space for them. Which means the first-floor half bath would have to be converted into a full bath, with a walk-in shower. I’d like to leave the media room, even though it’s pretty unconventional for a B&B and a house like this, I think it’s a lovely feature. Even though that’s the largest parlor, and would make for the biggest bedroom, I think I’d take the secondary parlor that’s an office space and library and make that the main floor bedroom. I’d probably like to update a bit of the paint and wallpaper and declutter some of the furniture.”
As Charlotte spoke, Evangeline could picture every room, and every change she described. “You’ve thought a lot about this, huh?”
“I’d thought about these things when Ben first bought the house, really. I’ve always had an overactive imagination, you know?” Evangeline could see Charlotte’s shrug in her mind as she said this.
“Yeah. I get that.” Evangeline was doing her damnedest to use her own imagination, to figure out what she wanted, where she was headed, what the future held for her. She’d taken a sabbatical from the clinic, and while they had been sad to see her go, her colleagues understood. Most of them had commented on the fact it had taken her so long after Benson’s death to take any significant time off.
She wondered what they would say if they knew it wasn’t Benson’s death that prompted her to flee, but rather, the terrifying prospect of what would have happened if she’d stayed. With Leo.
“So, if it won’t be too crazy of an idea, do you think you could work on the historical society, and what you need to do for the plans and contractors and such, and set up a business without owning the house? I don’t know the legal ins and outs of that, but I’m sure you do, or could easily find them out. We could draw up a contract for use of the property as a business in your name, with the profits going to you.”
“So, you guys would be like my landlords, only you wouldn’t expect me to pay rent?”
“Is that too odd? I feel kind of like a jackass for even asking. I mean, it’s obviously not like I’m there using the house. It should be used; it should be loved. But I can’t quite let it go.”
“No, I get it. But you’ll sign an agreement like that if I draw one up?”
“Yeah, of course. Can we have it mailed back and forth between the three of us once it’s finalized?” She couldn’t say Leo’s name. Not right now. Not when seeing him was still so close. She’d been such a fool to go to Chicago. What had she been thinking?
You were desperate to see him. To hear him sing again.
She’d been distraught when the CD available for purchase in the lobby wasn’t the current cast. She had hoped maybe she could bring some small piece of Leo back to Italy with her. She sighed.
“I can make that happen.”
“I don’t want you to think you’ll get shafted if or when I decide to come home. I can get someone to come pack up my room and put my stuff in storage so you can use the room for yourself, or visitors. It’s the only room with a private bathroom in the house, so it would be silly to let that go to waste. If you’d rather stay upstairs with your own bathroom not for guests, and just rent out the first-floor room regularly, that’s fine, too. Honestly, whatever you want to do.” She had to find a way to let go. Charlotte deserved the house. Right now, Evangeline couldn’t imagine stepping foot back in her old home, her old life, let alone actually living there.
Every day, she did her best to focus on herself, on the here and now, to move forward, to find happiness, on her own. She was coming to the realization that her future didn’t include Kempert Manor. Now, she just had to figure out how to make herself come to terms with severing the last solid connection she had to Benson.
“It’ll take me a few months to get plans from a contractor on renovations and meet with the historical society, and that sort of thing. I plan to stay at the day job until I have things set here. It’ll be a lot of work, but it’ll certainly keep me busy. And if I’m honest, the house has seemed too quiet as of late. So, thank you for this. I really appreciate it. I’ll work on a contract and email you a draft. Obviously, it will sort of be contingent upon what changes can be made to the property and the historical society agreeing to allow it to become a business.”
“Well, I’m available by phone if they need anything from me. And I can sign paperwork if they need the property owner to be involved. I’ll be happy to let them know that I’m overseas and that you’re seeing to the property and renovations while I’m away, if that would be helpful.”
“Absolutely. Thanks, Evangeline. Now, I just have to convince my brother.”
Evangeline’s stomach sank at the thought. Leo would probably do whatever Charlotte wanted. Without his obligation to Evangeline to hold him there, what interest did he really have in Kempert Manor?
“So, enough about me... how are you?” Charlotte asked.
“I’m good. I’ve been busy. But also, doing a lot of nothing, if that makes any sense?”
Charlotte laughed. “I love getting your postcards from all over Europe.”
“I like writing them. I’ve been taking cooking classes, going on food and wine tours, exploring different areas of the cities and villages, and doing a lot of thinking.”
“Sounds nice.”
“It is nice. It’s the first time that I’m doing something entirely on my own terms. I’m not sure what gave me the idea, truthfully, but as I stood in the Las Vegas airport, looking at the board of outgoing flights, I couldn’t shake the idea of traveling Europe. There’s still so much to see and do.” She’d stayed at a hotel near the airport for three days, getting her affairs at work in order, knowing she would go somewhere, in need of a fresh start, and some physical distance between herself and her old life. Between herself and Leo. But until she’d been standing at the ticket counter, she hadn’t been sure where that was going to be.
“I can’t lie, I’m a little jealous of your adventures.”
Evangeline smiled. “I can’t say as I actually recommend it. I mean, yes, it’s fun and exciting, but I feel a little lost.” Admitting it aloud made her feel like a failure. She’d needed to make these decisions for herself. She’d needed to become her own person. But she still didn’t know who that was. “Three months, out here, trying to find something. And I’m starting to realize I have no idea what that something is. Not really.”
A small chuckle from Charlotte held no humor. “I feel like we’re on the same journey, only I’m here and you’re there. I don’t know what that something is either. I’ll make you a deal, ok?”
“Sure.”
“I’ll let you know if I find it, and you let me know if you find it, huh?”
Evangeline smiled. “Deal.”
“Good. I’ll talk to you soon. I can still reach you here, right?”
Ah, of course. That’s what started this conversation. Charlotte got a weird text from Leo. Probably telling her he’d texted Evangeline at the number he wasn’t supposed to have. But she hadn’t heard from him since telling him he was magnificent.
“Yes, you can. I’ll call you when I have someone who can come put my stuff in storage.” She was sure she could find a company that would pack up her stuff and store it. No doubt they’d raise a few brows with some of the items in her room. She almost wished she could be there to see that. Almost.
“Sounds good. Later.”
“Bye.” Evangeline disconnected the call and resumed her watching out the window. Her searching for that something she couldn’t find, couldn’t even define.
It had taken Leo another four months to get back into the swing of things in New York. His sublet had ended and the woman who’d been staying at his place had kept it in pristine condition, for which he was eternally grateful.
He’d gone on auditions, reconnected with some of his old theater and even kink friends, and while he wasn’t happy, he did find most days that he was content. Waiting. Hoping. Sure, it was a little daunting, holding himself in a state of stasis in a lot of ways. But he was working again, having landed a secondary role as Don Attilio in Phantom on Broadway. It was still a little weird, being back on the stage of a production he’d headlined, without embodying the Phantom. But he’d been asked to understudy for the part, since word had spread of his playing the role in the traveling show. He hadn’t been called upon yet, but he could always hope for the lead actor to get a touch of food poisoning for a few days, right? That wasn’t the worst thing in the world? Sure, it would suck for Clive, but... it wouldn’t kill him or anything.
Being back in New York did feel like being home. But every day, he missed his minx. He thought of her often throughout the day, especially on first waking, and lying in bed alone at night. He might be trying to focus on his daily life, on building what he wanted, on not putting absolutely everything on hold. But it was hard.
A knock sounded on his door and his heart leapt into his throat. Evangeline?
He rushed to the door and flung it wide, his hands shaking, and then his spirits crashed. His sister.
“Don’t look so happy to see me, brother,” she said, cocking her head to the side.
“Shit. I’m sorry. I just...”
From Sir, With Love Page 29