Renegade (Southern Rebels MC Book 4)

by Kristin Coley

  “Now I’m Sloan?” I snipped, glancing both ways out of habit as we crossed the street. Traffic was almost nonexistent in Friendly and the speed limit was a whopping twenty five miles per hours down Main Street, but I still checked, even as Noah took the outside, automatically protecting me.

  “Is there a reason you’re following me?” He inquired, reaching in his pocket for his keys.

  “Have you seen Clutch yet?” I asked bluntly. He paused, glancing down at me, his face expressionless, but finally he shook his head in the negative. “How did he get out so early?” I persisted, no one having been able to answer the question of how Clutch had been paroled three years into a twelve year federal sentence, something that should have been impossible.

  His lips compressed and he gave a tight shake of his head. “He’s got friends in high places?” He replied, shoulders lifting and then dropping as he reached for the door handle on the police cruiser.

  “That’s it?” I squeaked in disbelief, having been certain Noah would have known the answer. “That’s all you’ve got? Friends in high places?”

  “I don’t know what you want me to tell you, Sloan. I don’t know how he slipped a sentence like that. It should have been impossible. Why you think Johnny was so infuriated when he took the fall for that chick in the Aces?”

  “I knew he was upset. We all were,” I stressed. “I just thought you’d heard something.”

  “I wish I’d had.” He looked at the ground, keys jingling as he bounced his hand and I crossed my arms over my chest, my next question catching in my throat.

  “You don’t think he – ”

  “NO,” Noah answered harshly, not even letting me finish as he spun around, getting right in my face. “Don’t even think it. Clutch isn’t a snitch. He would never flip on the club.”

  “Not ours,” I hurriedly replied, shaking my own head at the idea. “The Aces.”

  Noah was already shaking his head. “Nah, not Clutch. He wouldn’t have taken the fall if he was going to turn around and narc on them.”

  “Yeah, but,” I protested and Noah interrupted.

  “No buts, Sloan. You know that’s not Clutch.”

  “I know,” I repeated for the millionth time. “I’m just saying there are questions.”

  “And we’ll ask Clutch when he gets here,” Noah stated, ending the conversation as he yanked open the door to his cruiser. “Until then, plan your party and stop asking dangerous questions,” he said curtly, his gaze drilling into me until I lowered my eyes, reminded he was a cop and not a member of the club. The air left his lungs in a rush and my gaze flickered up. “I’m not trying to be a bastard, Sloan. I know how the Rebels work and I know Clutch. He wouldn’t screw the club.” He paused. “But I also know there can’t be any questions, not like that, not where the wrong people could hear, ya know?” I nodded, having received the same lecture from Creed. “Some wonder where his loyalty is at.” My head jerked up, surprised, and he glanced away. “They wonder if he’s coming back a Southern Rebels or an Ace.”

  “No.” The word was automatic and Noah lifted his hands as if in peace. “Clutch is a Rebel and a Hayes,” I said tightly. “There’s no question about that.”

  “I’m just repeating what I’ve heard,” Noah replied and his mouth twisted in a grimace. “Be ready, because there will be some who resent him coming back.”

  Chapter Three

  Clutch

  I eased the old Blazer to a stop a few houses down the street, knowing anyone who saw it would recognize the dull orange color. I shifted into Park as I stared at the neat little house I’d called home for a few brief months. Bright pink roses dotted the front flower bed, Kara’s request since pink was the absolute prettiest color ever, and the grass was neatly cut, probably due to one of my brothers or maybe it had been Hank.

  I knew I shouldn’t be here. Ronnie had made it more than clear we were over when I got sent down, but I couldn’t make myself leave. A sigh escaped me as I leaned my head back against the brown vinyl headrest, my gaze tracking all the little changes that had happened over three years. Someone had replaced the mailbox and it looked like she’d hung a hummingbird feeder. There was a hot pink bike propped up next to the garage. Kara had just been learning to peddle on a tricycle when I’d left.

  I swallowed back my emotions, pressing my fingers hard against my eyes. It wasn’t that I missed Ronnie. I’d accepted her decision. Hell, I could even understand it, but letting go of the brief moment in time when it had felt like all my dreams had come true, that felt damn near impossible. For a little while, I’d had the life I’d dreamed of – the house, the woman I’d loved, and the kid – at least until it had all gone to hell and I’d had no one to blame but myself.

  Buzz. The irritatingly harsh sound accompanied the clang of the gate when it opened and I shuffled forward, shackles on my hands and feet, as I entered the visiting area. My gaze swept the room, expecting to see Creed or Cord, and I blinked when I saw her sitting at one of the long tables, her hair swept back in a low ponytail – her version of low key casual. Something tightened in my chest, longing twisted by the realization that I’d lost my chance with her, and I stopped moving, about to turn back around, until her head came up. I knew the moment she saw me because her mouth twisted in a half-hearted smile, and even as reluctant as it was, it was still the most beautiful thing I’d ever seen.

  I forced myself to move forward, unwilling to turn tail and run now that she’d seen me, even though I knew her being here meant nothing good. I settled on the bench in front of her and she ducked her head, but with her hair pulled back she couldn’t hide.

  “Ronnie,” I murmured and saw her chest rise and fall as she took a deep breath.

  “Clutch,” she answered, her voice husky. She peered up through a thick fringe of lashes, her fingers knotted together, and I waited, not sure why she was here. It seemed like she’d said everything that needed to be said at my sentencing. Her lips pressed together until they turned white and I leaned back with a sigh.

  “Why are you here, Ronnie?” The question came out harsher than I intended and she flinched, but I couldn’t bring myself to apologize.

  She licked her lips, not meeting my eyes. “You don’t have a beard.”

  I stifled the urge to rub my chin, keeping my hands in clear sight on the table. “That’s why you came? To comment on my facial hair?”

  Her gaze came to mine, a familiar fire in them, but it disappeared almost instantly. “It looks good,” she answered hesitantly.

  “Thanks,” I replied grudgingly. Silence settled over us and I found myself looking at the clock, watching the seconds tick by, but unable to get up and leave, not until I knew why she’d come.

  “I’m sorry.” The whispered apology was almost inaudible with all the other conversations going on but I still heard her. Her hands came and hovered over mine, before she thought better of it and drew them back. “I…..” A glossy sheen coated her eyes, but she blinked back any hint of tears. “I regret the way I treated you. I’ve made a lot of mistakes in my life.” She swallowed. “Things I wish I could change but the one thing I would never change is Kara.”

  “I know how much you love her,” I replied, not sure where the conversation was headed. “She’s a special little girl.”

  Ronnie nodded, an involuntary smile crossing her face. “She is and she has always adored you. It’s why I broke it off when I knew how long you were going to be gone.”

  “I understood that, Ronnie. I don’t blame you.”

  “I know you don’t.” She smiled ruefully. “You are the most understanding guy in the world. I know I didn’t deserve you, but Kara did.” A protest welled in my throat and she shook her head. “Let me finish,” she pleaded and I swallowed down what I was about to say. “I did you wrong, Clutch. I know that. Hell, everyone knows that. I wish I’d given you a chance sooner. I wish I’d known you were the reason I was able to get the salon. I wish…,” She closed her eyes and exhaled. “I wish
a lot of things that I can’t go back and change. But I can still do right by Kara. I can be the mom she deserves. Seeing you with her, it really brought home to me how badly I’d failed her by allowing Rob to stay in our lives. She deserved better. She deserved a dad like you,” Ronnie said simply and a lump formed in my throat, forcing me to clear it to speak.

  “I would do anything for that little girl,” I replied finally, unable to say anything else.

  She smiled sadly. “I know that too, and I wish things were different.” Her eyes swept the room, pausing on the guards standing alertly at each entrance and exit. “She asks about you, you know.” My head bobbed awkwardly, somewhere between a nod and a shake, as she slid a folded piece of paper across the table to me. “She asked me to give this to you.” I accepted the thick piece of pink construction paper, but didn’t unfold it, not sure I could look at it with her sitting there. “Loving you was the easiest thing I ever did, and telling you goodbye…it might be the hardest. I need to focus on Kara, teach her it’s okay to be strong and independent, and not to wait around on a guy that might not come home.”

  My brow furrowed as I glanced down, the pink paper incongruous between my scarred fingers, the metal handcuffs a stark reminder of my own mistakes. “I’m sorry too, Ronnie. I made a decision without asking you. I chose to take the fall and leave you behind. I don’t blame you for being upset with me.”

  One of her hands covered mine, her thumb gently stroking my split knuckles. “We were always just a little too late, weren’t we?” A rough sound escaped me and her lips curled in a bittersweet smile. “Star-crossed, I guess.” She pulled her hand away and I curled my fingers in so I wouldn’t reach for her. “I won’t wait on you,” she warned unnecessarily. “You shouldn’t either.”

  One cheek creased as I said, “Good to know. One of the guys in cell block C has been eyeing me. I guess now is his chance.”

  “Clutch,” she scolded, her voice fading as I lost my smile.

  “I won’t wait,” I lied to her and she gave me a jerky nod. “But if you,” I stopped mid-sentence, correcting myself, “If Kara ever needs anything, anything at all, I’ll be there. For her.”

  “Of course,” she replied, nodding rapidly. “Of course.”

  A loud tone repeated three times, signaling that visiting hour was over and Ronnie shuddered. “You get used to it,” I told her and when her eyes met mine, I realized how stupid the words were. “Not that you need to get used to it,” I added, more for my benefit than hers. “It was good to see you, Ronnie.” I stood up, tucking the soft, pink paper against my side as I left her sitting there, staring after me, and when the door lock buzzed, I walked through and I didn’t look back.

  A car passing jerked me out of the memory and my gaze slid to the seat where a faded pink piece of paper sat, unfolded to reveal two stick figures standing side by side, one a giant with dark brown crayon scribbled over his face and the other holding a teddy bear, the words Clutch and Kara written in childish scrawl inside of a lopsided heart.

  Another glance at the house and I shifted into gear, checking the mirror as I made a quick U-turn on the quiet street. There was nothing left here for me, not anymore.

  Chapter Four

  Clutch

  “Right or left?” The question caught me off guard and I shot the female doctor a mystified look. She glanced down pointedly, one eyebrow arched expressively, since half her face was covered by a surgical mask. “Right cheek or left cheek,” she elaborated, an enormous needle poised between her fingers. I eyed it warily, then met her unflinching gaze.

  “Left,” I replied shortly, not looking forward to having the huge needle she held jammed in my ass. The small exam room was utilitarian, the walls half glass, affording zero privacy as I leaned over the exam table. She tugged down the waistband of my prison issue sweats, and I flinched when something cold and wet swiped over my bare cheek.

  “Big pinch,” she said cheerily as she proceeded to stab me in the ass with what felt like a fireplace poker. I gritted my teeth, not uttering a sound as a burning sensation radiated from the injection. Finally, after the longest minute of my life, she yanked the needle out and I let out a sigh of relief, at least until she prodded the injection spot and I yelped.

  “What the hell?” I twisted my head around and those wide eyes blinked at me innocently.

  “I have to make sure the vaccine disperses,” she explained and my gaze narrowed, positive I saw her lips twitch beneath the light blue face mask. She peeled the backing off a small, round Band-Aid and slapped it over the injection site, making me jump as she essentially smacked me on the ass. “All done,” she announced and I straightened to my full height, forcing her head to tip back to meet my eyes. Her own twinkled as she murmured, “It’s always nice to can find a man who can take it in the ass without whining.”

  My mouth dropped open at the same time she stepped back, waving at the guard before I could say anything. The door opened, leaving me no choice but to exit the tiny room. I glanced back at the unusual doctor and swore she winked at me.

  ***

  The sight of Cord standing outside of the garage, arms crossed over his chest, a perpetual glare creasing the corners of his eyes, yanked me out of the recollection. He didn’t move when I pulled in and I hit the brakes at the last second, the hood barely an inch from his chest. I grabbed the pink paper off the seat, folding and tucking it into my pocket before he could see it and start asking questions, since he was known to be a nosy bitch. I swung myself out of the Blazer as Cord came around the front, his limp almost nonexistent now, and the stern expression on his face disappeared in a flash.

  “Damn it, brother, you’re the luckiest son of a bitch I know or you give one helluva blow job,” he declared, seizing me in a tight hug. I grunted as he pulled me off balance, but returned the embrace, clapping him on the back.

  “I think those two things are mutually exclusive,” I responded when he released me.

  He shook his head, a wide smile breaking across his face. “It’s good to have you home,” he stated then added, “I need help keeping all these assholes in line.”

  I started shaking my head, more than willing to relinquish that responsibility. “Hell no, you’re on your own,” I denied with a snort, rocking back when he thumped me on the chest. “Now, you know what it was like when you were gone,” I remarked, referring to the years when Cord had served in the Navy. Only the injury that had ended his career had brought him home, but he was here to stay after meeting Tori. “I figure I have a few more years owed to me.”

  “Yeah, that might be true,” he admitted with a rueful grin. “But I’m still glad you’re here.” I dipped my head, following him into the shadowed garage and out of the heat. “Where you been? Johnny was looking for you to be home yesterday.”

  “I made a stop,” I muttered, glancing around the garage as my eyes adjusted. “Where did all the crap go?” I asked, remembering the stacks of boxes that filled the room. “Y’all move out while I was gone?”

  “Not exactly,” Cord replied, the muscle above his eye jumping. “Sloan got on a tear about minimal living or some shit.”

  “Uh huh,” I murmured, my gaze sharpening. “What’s really going on?”

  Cord exhaled, shaking his head. “I told them,” he muttered under his breath, then raised his voice. “You remember that land Dad bought years ago?” He waited until I jerked my head in a nod. “Crew and Drea decided it was going to waste and we needed to do something with it.”

  “There’s nothing out there,” I recalled, remembering the few times he’d dragged Cord and Creed out there before his death with me tagging along, unaware Cash Hayes was my father too. “We spent a lot of time shooting cans.”

  “Yeah, well, those empty fields are soon to be planted,” he paused making sure he had my full attention before finishing, “With cannabis.”

  I choked. “What? When the hell did we get in the drug business?” I shot him a disbelieving glance. “Did everyone l
ose their mind while I was gone?” He let out a rusty chuckle as I crossed my arms over my chest. “Isn’t Drea a DEA agent? How does that work?”

  “Former,” Cord corrected and I threw up my hands.

  “I’m sorry, former DEA agent. And you? Tori? Help me out here. How is this okay?”

  “It’s not as bad as it sounds. It’s all legal and above board,” Cord rushed to assure me. “It’s not narcotics. It’s the weed without the happy juice.”

  “Then what’s the point?” I grunted, spinning on my heel as I stomped to the other side of the garage where a few boxes remained, my name neatly printed on the side of them, as I wondered what else had changed. “So you starting a commune out there or something?” I asked roughly, keeping my eyes trained on the boxes and avoiding Cord’s quick glance.

  “Something like that,” he answered slowly. “At least I think that’s Sloan’s plan. And you know Creed –”

  “Whatever Sloan wants, Sloan gets,” we finished together and I shook my head, rubbing a finger over one of the beat up cardboard boxes that held the sum total of my life. Looking at them, I realized it wasn’t much. “There wasn’t anything but an old shack out there back then,” I stated abruptly, turning my back on the half dozen boxes. “They planning on camping in the weed?”

  Cord snorted. “They want to build a house, but for now they’re still living here.” I nodded as he came closer. Cord indicated the house he’d grown up in. “It’s gotten a little cramped in there.”

  It was my turn to snort. “I bet.”

  “Tori and I have been staying over the tattoo shop since Jean retired, so there’s a room in the house for you.” He arched an eyebrow. “If you don’t mind sharing with a three year old.”