Love's Delusion

by Flynn Eire

  I swallowed loudly and nodded. “Right, didn’t think of that. He was just so freaked about ever being their slave again he said he’d rather die.”

  “You good then? Ready to fight?” Helios checked.

  “Nope, kinda ready to shit my pants and worried about my mate,” I admitted as a cold sweat formed over my skin.

  “Welcome to being mated,” Alexander snickered. “I would say it gets easier but it does not. My mate is second here, larger than me, and still I worry about him any time there is trouble. He is younger. He can die. That is enough to have me worry. There is no one I would prefer to have fight at my back, but still I worry.”

  “Love you too,” Dimitri cooed before leaning over and kissing his mate. “You have to move past the fear, Xana. It won’t go away.”

  “How?” I scrubbed my hands over my face. “Right, mating before the biggest battle we might ever be in wasn’t the best idea I’ve ever had. It just happened.”

  “Yeah, shit happens,” Roarke snickered. “Personally, I’m pissed they’ve scared me and my mate that we could lose each other. Aren’t you?”

  “Of course,” I hedged, glancing at him.

  “Then Hulk smash, buddy. Hulk smash.” He shot me a wink as he stretched out his arms and adjusted his neck, getting his game face on.

  “Your hour is up,” that voice from the phone shouted, and now that we were outside, I could hear it even if it was still miles and miles off. “What is your answer about our experiment?”

  Apparently hearing Gilroy being referred to as an experiment again was all I needed to have the proverbial smoke coming out of my ears.

  “Light them up, love,” Helios murmured into our coms, knowing Rune would hear him. Seconds later, the drones that had already taken off and had been hovering swooped down several miles out and dropped their payloads on the outlying Zakasacs.

  As if perfectly timed, right after, dozens of the RPG launchers fired as well.

  “Did they go with gas?” I asked, glancing at Alexander.

  “No, supposedly they came up with something that makes a much bigger boom and takes up less room.” He shrugged. “Science and chemicals are not my thing. We have to restock Sam’s lab. It’s highly volatile but burns out quickly.”

  The ground shook beneath us as the first explosion went off. A much bigger boom was one way to look at it. A normal rocket-propelled grenade made a blast, sure, but it didn’t shake the ground from twenty miles out. Hell, most humans wouldn’t be able to see it from that far even over the flat land we were dealing with.

  But this? Oh yeah, they’d see that. It was a big boom.

  And there were many.

  And lots of screams.

  And flying Zakasacs.

  “Can we always do battle like this?” Dimitri muttered and I seconded that thought.

  “What the fuck was in that stuff and why don’t we always use it?” Roarke asked.

  “Unstable chemicals, dude,” Jeston chuckled. “Did you miss the part where he said highly volatile? Yeah, I don’t like rolling with those. Desperate times and all of that, but shit, I think Sam whipped up a homemade batch of napalm.”

  “Keep going,” Helios called out to the roof when the explosions were done. “You didn’t get them all.”

  “Roger that,” Lance acknowledged in our earpieces. “We don’t have a very good visual anymore or at all. We had the laser sighting mapped for us on these souped-up babies but that won’t work anymore.”

  “Switch the drones weapons out to guns so they can at least help us,” Alexander ordered as Helios nodded in agreement. “Anyone else who’s able with the sniper rifles, cover us until some of the dust settles or they’re closer for the grenades again.”

  “I told you we’d be playing Resident Evil tonight. You just didn’t listen to me,” Verge quipped in the headset. “I’m totally like that S.T.A.R.S. guy, without the scary Max monster.”

  “Yeah, now they’re just really fast Zakasacs,” Wally snapped. “And lots of them. Not a trade up, dumbass.”

  “Do we have to listen to this shit?” Jeston bitched. “Kinda need to focus and keep the channel open for important communications.”

  “Sorry,” the three of them said at once.

  “Love you, babe,” Roarke chuckled, obviously talking to Wally.

  “Love you too. Get your ass back here in one piece, and I’ll give you mine any way you want as long as you want, okay?” What Wally said was crude, but the way he did wasn’t. Anyone there could hear that he was choked up and worried.

  “Please, we’ve got this. And I’ve seen you on the rifle. Be my eye in the sky, and we’ll get this done in no time.”

  Helios nodded past the gate and I swallowed loudly as a good hundred plus Zakasacs came racing out of the smoke about ten miles out from us. We barely opened the gate, the plan for us to file out and lock it behind us. Helios took off, faster than I could see, and I put everything I had into my run, knowing the more I plowed down now, the less that could get to Gilroy.

  And then I had another idea. Probably a stupid idea that would get me killed.

  But better me than Gilroy.

  “You want your experiment? Come and get me!” I roared as I hoofed it even faster.

  “What are you doing?” Alexander barked in my ear. “We agreed no one told who the experiment was or what we knew and definitely not tell them the wrong person because of what they might do.”

  “Saving my mate,” I muttered.

  Stupid or not for my personal safety, the idea worked because every Zakasac focused on me. The ones that had been charging towards the gate in general attack chaos, changed direction to intercept me. Which worked well for my plan, but I would have been lying if I didn’t admit that over a hundred Zakasacs charging down on me didn’t make me ready to shit my pants again.

  Until I saw a row of them cut down in a blink of an eye.

  Helios. We could do this. I snarled, getting my adrenaline up so my gift was kicked into high gear and plowed right into them.

  “Loop back or we can’t help you pick them off, Xana,” Philo said into the earpiece. “You’re still too close to the smoke, my friend.”

  I did as he said, punching and shoving my shoulder into as many as I could as I thudded down on the terrain. Sure enough, the moment I brought more within a mile closer to the camp, I heard bullets zinging by me.

  “Shift left,” Wally ordered. “We’ll pick off the right.”

  Oh, this was actually fun. I did, smiling, but then feeling something as I crashed into the next red-eyed Zakasac so I was too happy for the festivities and made myself get angry again. They want to take Gilroy from you, make him theirs.

  Yup, that did the trick.

  Another dozen or so lost their heads to the left of me, and I realized Helios turned left with me. The next time I looped around—right this time when I was given the go-ahead—I started grabbing arms and flinging them to the waiting warriors to finish them off as best as I could.

  “We’ve got a chopper landing,” Lance informed us.

  “Fall back, Xana,” Alexander ordered.

  “No, we need to keep them focused until the new arrivals are out and here,” I countered, continuing on the course. I was going to say more, but then I heard a battle cry off to the side and was distracted, looking over there in time to see Shane running right into the mix. “No!”

  “Jesus, he has a death wish,” Dimitri swore.

  “I got him,” I snarled, turning and heading that way. I felt a bullet bounce off me as I ran down several Zakasacs.

  “Sorry,” Wally muttered. “Didn’t know we were changing.”

  “I’m fine.”

  “Hold your fire,” Lance ordered. “Shane and Xana are in the range.”

  I was barely listening though, trying to keep focus on Shane. His left arm was torn up and I saw two Zakasacs leaping for him at once. “No!”

  I made it just in time to plow into one before he could land, cursing I couldn�
��t get to the other one.

  “I got him,” Helios told me over our earpieces. “Shane’s at the gate. Other members of the Wyrok are out of the gate. Xana, head back.”

  “Coming home,” I confirmed, turning in that direction.

  “You’re not going anywhere, experiment,” a voice I recognized hissed as I was punched in the face. I smiled as the fist bounced off me, the Zakasac cursing loudly.

  “Oh good, we have some questions for you,” I chuckled, grabbing the shorter, nasty man by the scruff of the neck and dragging him after me. I made my way to the gate, punching anyone who tried to aid their leader. When I met up with everyone else, Alexander—who was covered in blood, chest heaving, and exhausted-looking from all the heads he’d probably taken—simply raised an eyebrow at me. “Someone decided to say hello to me and not over the phone this time.”

  “Well, we should be polite to our guest, now should we not?” he practically purred, deviously eyeing the Zakasac who was still holding his broken hand. “Roarke, you feel like some interrogation after the pain they put you through?”

  “Do I ever,” Roarke chuckled bitterly. “And I’m sure Shane would like a few shots at him after what happened to Kevin.” The man gave me a nod. “Nicely done, Xana. You’re pretty badass for a giant.”

  “Yeah, shorty,” I snickered, tossing the Zakasac his way. “I’m going to go see my mate. I’ll let yours know you don’t have a scratch on you.”

  “I’ve got a couple, but they’ll heal by the time he sees me.”

  I shot him a knowing look. “As I said, not a scratch on you.” He gave me a grateful nod.

  There was no reason to upset or worry Wally that Roarke had been injured at all when he was going to be just fine. I understood now why the mated guys told the little white lies to their men. It hurt them more to see their mates upset than any cut or injury could ever hurt them.

  I knew that was how I felt about Gilroy at least. I also got why they rushed off after the shit was over instead of worrying about cleanup. All I wanted was to see him and that he was safe. Answers could wait. Making sure every detail was handled could wait. We were safe with the Wyrok backup.

  All I needed was Gilroy.

  8

  I woke with a tongue buried in my ass, large hands gripping my cheeks tightly. “Mmm, you better be my mate or hurry before he gets back because he’s a jealous kind of guy.”

  “Not funny,” Xana growled as his hands tightened on my skin.

  “A little funny.” I pushed off the bed, giving him a better angle for whatever he wanted. “Especially when you’re licking me there because you won’t stop fucking me incessantly.” He froze, and I realized I’d pushed too far with my joking again. I rolled over when he let go of me and tackled him to the bed, making sure that our cocks were rubbing together. “I never said I was complaining.”

  “It sounded like it,” he muttered, completely pouting.

  “I’m not,” I assured him as I leaned over and gave him a soft kiss. “I just want us to talk too, Xana. Something is obviously going on with you. It’s been two days since the Zakasacs came and you’ve barely said three words and done nothing but get me naked and inside me in between us filling out reports. Please talk to me.”

  “You had to use your gift on the humans as well.”

  It was true. Helios asked me to talk to the authorities after he learned I could project images to people. It was a much more effective tactic to selling a story than simply wiping a mind and telling them what they thought. I could show them what they thought they saw. It was tricky when I hadn’t seen it myself, but I made the story stick.

  Granted, we had to burn a huge section of land to hide what had actually happened, but I’d been able to add in some pointed images like Xana running out of the flames carrying some baby wildlife that the humans thought he rescued. Hey, details sold the lie.

  “Right, and that took an hour or two,” I hedged, studying his demeanor. “What’s going on, Xana? Why won’t you talk to me?”

  “What’s there to say besides I love you?” he challenged, meeting my eyes. But I saw that same insecurity he’d had since he’d found me in the command center that night when we’d won. He hadn’t even waited for me to land the drone I’d been flying to help take out Zakasacs that were trying to flee.

  That had actually been fun, shooting them up like a live-action video game. He’d handed someone else my controller and wrapped me in his arms, practically attacking me… Not that I had complained one bit.

  “I don’t know,” I sighed as I sat back up. “But something is up with you, and I’m sorry, as much as I love you and the sex we have, I don’t want to bury our problems with fucking. I won’t have that kind of mating.” I rolled off him and reached for my pants, gasping when he was behind me, pushing me up against the wall.

  “Would you really deny me and what I need?” he growled. “Is this mating about us and not only that it saved you that night, consoled your fears?”

  “Is that what this is about?” I gasped, turning my head and trying to glance back at him but I couldn’t. “Xana, I claimed you too. I love you.”

  “That doesn’t answer my question! Are you denying me and what I need?”

  “No, never.” Then I cried out as he thrust his slicked-up cock into me, bracing my hands against the wall as my mate grabbed my hips and pounded into me like a dying man who needed me to survive. It was how all the countless rounds of sex had been since the fight. As much as I adored every second of it, just as I did right then against the wall, we couldn’t keep going like that. “I love you, Xana.”

  “I love you too, baby.”

  But there had been another problem. “Please turn me around. You know I hate always having sex from behind.” That was the only way we’d been having it and it felt too cold, like all the challenge sex I’d only had before him and Winston. “Please?”

  I felt him shudder before he pulled out of me. Then he spun me around and easily lifted me up, bracing my back against the wall before he plunged in me again. I moaned in bliss, moving my hands to his shoulders as I tried to kiss him but he ducked his head. I wasn’t having any of that so I grabbed his head and forced him to look at me as he kept thrusting.

  And found tears on his cheeks.

  “Xana, please, tell me what’s wrong,” I begged, my own eyes burning. He shook his head and kept going, not stopping until I lost my erection.

  “You don’t want me anymore.”

  “I do, but not like this. I can’t selfishly care about hot sex and how good it feels when my mate is obviously hurting, my giant.” That finally seemed to get through to him, because he slowly sank to his knees, taking me with him and cradling me to him. I hugged him tightly, rubbing his back and whispering soft words in his ear as he soundlessly sobbed, shaking.

  “I don’t know what to do,” he finally admitted.

  “About what?”

  “I’m still scared. More might come and try and take you. Roarke said they’ll kill you if they realize I claimed you so their experiment won’t work with you again.”

  “I’m scared too, but we can’t live based on what-ifs,” I soothed. “That’s not a reason for us to stop living our lives, Xana. They don’t get to win like that.”

  “That’s not the only thing I’m scared of.”

  When he didn’t continue, I kissed his neck and tried to calm him. “Okay, time to get it all out. Enough with bottling things up. I won’t have this stuff fester and ruin what’s so perfect between us.”

  “That’s just it, I don’t know that it’s perfect. It was convenient.”

  I blinked at him a moment before throwing back my head and laughing. I laughed so hard I actually started bouncing on his lap which turned us both back on since he was still inside me mostly hard. His hands tightened on my hips and I finally calmed down again.

  “There was nothing convenient about our mating, Xana. We overcame a shitload of stuff to get here, my giant. Just because you rushed t
he ending we were going to get to eventually doesn’t make it convenient by any meaning of the word.”

  “Oh.” He frowned and shot me a hurt look. God, how could a man be so sexy when he pouted—especially when he was seven feet tall? “You laughed at me. You never laugh at me or are so mean.”

  “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to laugh at you,” I assured him, kissing his lips gently. “I’ll make that up to you, I swear. It wasn’t you or how you felt. It was that of all the things I was worried about, debating you might say, have been upset about, that wasn’t one of them. You threw me.”

  “It was a shocked laugh?”

  “Yeah, that’s a good way to put it,” I agreed. “You’ve put up with so much with me, Xana, been there for me through piles of crap, constantly in such a short time. Convenience is not a word I’d use to describe anything about us. Your persistence that we were right for each other is what made us get through it all and end up together, happy. I’m happy. I swear to you I do not regret that you claimed me. It’s why I immediately claimed you.”

  “It was fast. You were all turned in knots, but then you weren’t,” he worried, frowning still.

  “My giant showed me the way with his big, kind heart.” I smiled at him, and slowly, his face lost his anxiety, the shadows in his eyes disappearing.

  “You’re sure?”

  “Yeah, I’m sure. You can have Helios use his gift on me if you want, and I know I’ll still answer the same.”

  “That’s not necessary. You’d never lie to me.”

  “No, no I wouldn’t.” We shared a grin before a heated kiss but that still left me with one more question. “If you were worried I wasn’t really in this—what was with all the sex?”

  He gave a slight shrug. “You said I was the best sex you’ve ever had and I brought you bliss. I thought if I kept doing that, you wouldn’t have time to think too much and regret our mating.”

  “Not a bad plan but there’s nothing to regret.”

  “Can we still have lots of sex like newlyweds?” he hedged, twisting his lips as he stared over my naked body.