by Flynn Eire
“Do you not want me here?” Bowie asked as the door clicked closed behind him.
“No, I very much want you here,” I chuckled, running my hands through my hair. “I was thinking of having you assigned here from the moment I heard you were finally coming home but that seemed so underhanded and shady, like a control freak lover, that I didn’t think you’d be too happy with me.”
“Actually, I would have been flattered.”
My head snapped in his direction and his cheeks were heated as he stared at his feet. “You would have?”
“Yeah.” He gave that one-shoulder shrug that was both so innocent and sexy all at once. “You don’t want to spend a whole work day with a plaything or someone you just want for sex. You finagle someone to be assigned to your service when you want to get to know them, them to know you, and they’re important to you.”
“You are important to me, hon,” I assured him as I moved closer, cupping his cheek. His eyes flickered to mine and I saw some of the sadness clear away. “I want you here. I’m just not sure how to act around you. I’m fucking everything up lately and I don’t want to treat you like any other warrior and make you feel unimportant. But then if I treat you like my lover, does that make it seem like I don’t think you could handle the assignment normally?”
His eyes filled with something I didn’t recognize and then he moved so fast I tripped over my feet as he shoved me up against the wall. I moaned as he kissed along my neck as his hands grabbed my ass and squeezed. “You struggle too. I didn’t know that.”
“Huh?” I was losing blood from my brain fast as it all raced to my groin but still that sounded like code to me.
“You care enough to struggle with what to say, what to do, how to act. I didn’t know that. Everything seems to come so easy to you and you always appear to have the answers. I always feel like it’s me. That I’m disappointing you or I’m not reacting right for you and it kills me, like we’re not the right fit because I’m failing.”
“No, Bowie, that’s not it at all,” I rasped as I threw my arms around his neck and pulled him closer. “Oh, hon. This is your first everything. There is no rule book for any of it and we had a rocky, rocky start. I know I’ve hurt you, but I never meant to. Of course I struggle too. We’ve had misunderstandings and we can get past them. It kills me how easily you seem ready to cut and run instead of willing to fight for me or what we have when—”
“I won’t be Wally,” he muttered. “He didn’t know when to walk away and it almost killed him.”
“That wasn’t the mistake he made,” I murmured as I let go of his neck and moved my hands down over his chest so he’d back away to look into my eyes. I saw the confusion and gave him a soft smile. “They didn’t talk. He didn’t talk to anyone else and ask for help. You’ve already done that, hon. You went to Wally. You said you talked to Jeremy and Mark, right? You’re talking to me now. I am in this, all the way. Wally didn’t know that with Roarke. That’s the difference. Will you stay and fight now?”
He worried his lower lip and stared into my eyes. “How do I know this is real and not just really toxic and I don’t know the difference?”
It hurt to hear that was his concern but it was also better to get it out in the open. “Give us a few weeks of non-traumatic, Zibon-killed-Lloyd-and-on-assignment, we-miscommunicated-for-years, or I-found-you-crying-in-the-woods time to spend together and you’ll see. We’re not toxic, Bowie. We’ve just never had calm. How about some calm time and we both take a deep breath, simply be together?”
“Okay,” he agreed before mashing his mouth down to mine. I gladly submitted to him as he ravished my mouth, his hands moving all over my ass as if trying to work out months of pent-up aggression in that one kiss. We made out for minutes but then his head lifted suddenly. “What’s that?”
“Huh?” I panted and then heard the beeping too. “Fuck!” I ducked under his arm and raced to the lab where the timer was going off for one set of cultures.
When I got there, my heart stopped trying to lurch out of my chest when I saw that only twenty seconds had gone over the timer, more than within the range of safe. I quickly pulled everything out after I put on gloves—not because there was any danger to me, but so I didn’t contaminate the samples—and moved them over to the microscope with the digital camera to run through.
“Wow,” Bowie whispered from my right. I looked up and saw him glancing around the lab.
“Impressive, right?” I chuckled, remembering this was the first time he was seeing it. “All I asked Theo was for the specimens I would need and he handed me the cash to build all of this onto the clinic.”
“So will you tell me what you’re doing in here now?” he muttered, moving closer. “All I know is it’s research.”
I blinked up at him, floored at a whole new level. “You didn’t understand my messages, did you?”
“You were kind of cryptic, Sam,” he sighed.
“Right, yeah, because I could actually get in trouble for this,” I hedged. “The Wyrok knows now, but I’m looking into helping humans.” His eyes went wide and I nodded. “Because I was born of a human woman.” His eyes went even wider and I thought he might fall over. “I don’t normally tell people that, but like I said, you’re not just anyone to me.”
“Start from the beginning.”
So I did. After I showed him where to grab scrubs, leering at him like a dirty man, wanting nothing more than to ravish his lover who he’d been separated from for too long, I told Bowie everything about my family, how I’d been raised, my private research, talking with Theo, and what I’d been up to all while I handled the cultures and we took care of a few other things.
When we had a lull in the work, I was surprised at how he finally decided to respond to everything I’d dumped on him that morning. He moved up behind me, wrapped his arms around me, and kissed my neck. “Thank you for finally opening up to me. It’s impossible to let go and trust that this is real to the other person when you can tell they’re holding so much back.”
“I couldn’t until I knew you were in this for real too,” I muttered, leaning against him. “It’s a lot to risk telling you. Not just the rumors about my family, but my research starts a lot of shit. I mean, if the Wyrok weren’t happy about it, this would be something you’d be saying over my grave instead.”
“And still you did it. You’re amazing, Lasam.” I soaked up the praise, finally feeling like I’d done the right thing and made good headway at busting down one of the walls keeping us apart.
Now I knew how to get rid of another one. I glanced at him over my shoulder and let go of my insecurities, trusting Bowie wouldn’t hold them against me. “Will you help the old fart and set me up with Skype in case you ever have an assignment off camp again?”
“Of course.” The smile he gave me was worth any discomfort I felt admitting I didn’t have the patience or knowledge to figure it out myself. He opened his mouth to say more but the doors to the clinic burst open and Matteo came racing in carrying Norris, the pre-trans that was about to endure hell on earth for his twenty-fifth birthday present.
“Let the games begin,” I muttered, pulling away. I hurried to administer his medicine. “He’s early.”
“He had some cramping and I might have jumped the gun,” Matteo admitted with a shrug. “I get so worried now that a few weren’t at midnight or their exact birth times. It’s just not as clear timing-wise as we used to think so I don’t like taking chances anymore. I swear they should just be here the day before so we don’t have any more issues.”
“I don’t disagree with you.” But still I held off on administering the drugs. There was no point until it actually started. I took my spot back by Bowie, loving that we’d been so close together like that, and as if it was an everyday occurrence, he wrapped his arms around me again.
“It’s so weird to be on this side of things,” he murmured in my ear. I could understand that. It was one of the reasons we had the post-trans or new warrio
rs help with the pre-trans after they’d gone through it. We didn’t want to scare the pre-trans with what they’d have to survive, but it was good for the pre-trans to see someone who’d just gone through it recently be there.
“We can start now,” Norris agreed, giving Matteo a shy smile as he laid the boy onto one of the cots. “I can’t wait for it to be over and what comes next.” He glanced over to Bowie. “I mean, you enjoyed your induction, right? I hear it’s amazing.”
“Induction?” Bowie hedged, his gaze darting between Matteo and Norris. I shrugged.
“You know, all the new post-trans getting inducted to handling a warrior’s needs without women around with Matteo and Nate,” he whispered, his cheeks flushing.
“I’m sorry, are you insinuating what I think you are?” Matteo hissed as his eyes went wide. “You think my mate and I take every post-trans to our bed right after their transition?”
Bowie went rock hard behind me, and I flinched, moving to pull away. Instead, he wrapped his arms around me tighter and kissed my neck, probably asking me not to be angry and he’d explain later. Oh, he had better.
“Isn’t that what happens?” Norris asked, glancing around at all of us.
“No,” I snorted, shaking my head. “Matteo and his mate like to play now and again, taking men to their bed, but it’s by no means an induction of all post-trans. That would be unethical. If you were looking forward to that part though, I’m sure they or someone at the camp would be more than open to giving you a threesome.” That last part was said a little sarcastically, but apparently even mentioning the idea around Bowie had a different reaction.
Like him kissing my neck again and massaging my hip bones.
I cleared my throat and grabbed his wrist. “Excuse us.” He followed after me and I purposely picked the exam room we’d first gotten to know each other in for our privacy. I closed the door behind us and studied Bowie, his head hanging even as he was hard as a rock behind his scrub pants. “So you want to hook up with Nate and Matteo?”
“No!” he exclaimed as his head snapped up and he focused on me. “No, Lasam. I swear that wasn’t it.”
I took a deep breath and let it out slowly before moving over to him. “Then what was it?”
“I’ve never been in a threesome,” he muttered, closing his eyes. “I don’t know. When he mentioned it, I just thought—it sounded—well, I couldn’t help but…” He shrugged.
“You like the idea,” I filled in, no judgment in my voice at all.
Again he shrugged. “Is there any man who wouldn’t be intrigued by it? I had this flash of thinking about instead of you watching me please myself—because I know that did it for you—that someone else did things to me and it got you all hot and you both—I don’t know.” He looked so sad and I felt his pain as if worried I was going to be angry at him.
That wasn’t what I was feeling right then. At. All. “It’s fine, hon. Everyone has fantasies. I’m glad you could share yours with me.” I smiled at him before giving him a quick kiss. “I’m hungry. Can you run to the cafeteria and grab us some sandwiches? I shouldn’t leave now that Norris is here in case I need to administer his drugs.”
He studied my face carefully and nodded. “You’re really not mad?”
“Not in the slightest.”
Bowie let out a relieved sigh and gave me another kiss before he left. I really wasn’t mad, but that didn’t mean I wasn’t cooking something up in my mind for us. We were the real thing but I didn’t want us to stop being the fantasy either.
Never stop being that.
9
I was never someone who passed up a well-timed opportunity. There had to be more there than just coincidence. My mother had been a firm believer in what was now commonly known as karma. It could also be fate. Hell, someone in heaven smiling down at a person and giving them a break in a rough, harsh life we all suffered through. Even the love we strived for to make it all worthwhile wasn’t easy to find or keep.
So yeah, when I found those opportunities, for once I didn’t overthink or hem and haw it to death… I accepted the push I needed with open arms.
“Not cool what you did with Helios, Sam,” Lynx bitched as he came into the clinic to pick up his blood for the next couple of weeks. I allowed a week, maybe two at a time if they gave me no reason to doubt they could handle their shit or they were seasoned warriors like Lynx. I’d just finished administering Norris’s drugs because he was going into his transition now.
But Bowie wasn’t back from the cafeteria to hear this conversation at least.
“I don’t know what you mean,” I muttered, cleaning everything up. I jerked my head to the side, making it clear he should follow me and keep quiet.
Lynx did, frowning. “Don’t play dumb, Sam. We both know you aren’t. You got Helios to cock block the rest of us from Bowie and his once-in-a-lifetime hot ass just so you can try and dig yourself out of the hole you made dumping him.”
“I didn’t dump him,” I hissed, grabbing his meaty arm and pulling him farther away from Matteo and the pre-trans. “We had some miscommunication while he was on assignment. We’re together, believe me. All I did was prevent warriors who would use the challenge to get in my man’s pants. Not exactly something moral, now is it, Lynx?”
The man yanked his arm away and I could see it written all over his face that he’d been thinking of doing it. “Not if Bowie was shy and the challenge wasn’t made a spectacle of, more a practice one so he could get his feet wet now that he’s a real warrior, kind of like what Roarke did when they were post-trans but more. Foreplay even.”
“You like him,” I said, not even making it a question.
“I don’t know him well enough to like him. I like to look at him, but I’ve tried to get him alone away from his buddies to talk to him several times since he transitioned. He’s shy and oblivious.” Then he rolled his eyes. “Or just he was so hung up on you he never saw how many of us tried with him too.”
“I can only hope,” I chuckled. “Well, you can’t blame me from cutting off your plan as his lover.”
“Like I said, you’re a dick,” he bitched, biting back a smile.
“But he’s expressed an interest in playing with a third.”
“Jesus, Sam,” Lynx hissed, shaking his head. “You better not fuck this up or there will be a line around the camp after what Zibon ranted about and if people find out he likes to play like that.”
“Don’t I know it.” I saw the heat in Lynx’s eyes though so pushed some more. “The third would have to understand that it’s just a test to see what Bowie’s comfortable with because a fantasy doesn’t mean he’ll want to go through with it. And I call the shots.”
“Repeat play?” Lynx hedged, smart enough to know exactly what we were talking about.
“Could not say either way, but not a chance ever if the person didn’t keep their mouth shut. With the shit Zibon pulled, Bowie would die if everyone knew he was into playing like everyone knows about Matteo and Nate.” Then I told him about what the pre-trans said and Lynx had a good laugh over that.
“Jesus, the rumors that go around this place. We need more entertainment or something.”
“Amen to that.” I studied him closely as he rubbed the back of his neck. Lynx was attractive, six-eight, built like a fucking tank, and good in bed.
Yes, I knew that from personal experience… It happened a long, long time ago, even before Bowie was ever at this camp. A man had needs. And again when he’d passed me up in rank.
Okay, and a lot of times after that when we remembered we had fun in bed together, but it was never anything serious and it was over thirty years ago. We’d had good sex chemistry but nothing more.
“When?” Lynx asked, breaking through my thoughts.
I smiled at him. “Busy now? He just brought it up and you dropping in and mentioning it is just too fortuitous to pass up. He may say no, but wanna see?”
“I’m game for some fun,” he snickered, shaking his he
ad. “But don’t even tell me this has nothing to do with the younger hottie that showed up this morning, who was shooting Bowie loving looks.”
I missed a step as I led him to the exam room I’d been talking to Bowie in earlier. “No, actually I hadn’t thought of Jeremy since breakfast. Him showing up actually worked in my favor.” I told Lynx quickly about Verge being reassigned and whatnot.
“Damn, you guys really are meant to be together, aren’t you?” Lynx said with a whistle. “It’s like fate, Helios, and even your adversaries are helping push Bowie back to you. I mean, damn, me and Jeremy at the same time coming to help you. What are the odds?”
He had a point there, and I didn’t know but like I’d said, I didn’t pass up opportunity or kick it in the teeth for wanting to help me. Even if it came in the form of a horny vampire who wanted my man enough to play by our rules.
When Bowie finally showed up with lunch, I called out I was in the exam room, practically shaking with nerves as Lynx stood behind the door.
“Hey, sorry about that. I couldn’t get away from Jer,” he muttered as he came in, carrying a huge tray overflowing with cafeteria food. “I think you’re right about him liking me. He seemed kinda upset that I was hurrying back to you and not willing to have lunch with him. I guess I didn’t pick up on the vibe or think about it until you said something, but he did always seem ready to be hugging and trying to be a shoulder for me to cry on when I was in Denver thinking about you.”
My mouth went dry. This wasn’t starting how I’d planned. “Do you like him?”
“I haven’t really thought about it.” He set the tray down on the desk and faced me. “I don’t want to. I said I wasn’t running anymore and we were going to have some calm, us being together time, right?”
“Right,” I whispered, moving closer and hugging him. “But with some wild fun too.”
“Huh?” I yanked off his scrub shirt, undid his pants, and pushed them down before he could react, nodding to Lynx to shut the door. Bowie jumped and went to turn around but hit the large wall of flesh that was Lynx.