There's No Such Thing As Monsters: Gaslamp Faeries Series, Book 1

by Ren Ryder

  “Coming through! Excuse me, sorry! Outta the way! In a bit of a hurry, whoops sorry about that! Gotta run, sorry!”

  “Hey, watch it!”

  “Watch where you’re bloody well going!”

  I bumped, jostled, half-stumbled and otherwise sprinted my way through the crowd. Where I could, I vaulted over boxes, food stalls, stands, railings, and other fixed obstacles that acted as shortcuts.

  Not as quickly as I’d like, but soon enough, I arrived at the last spot I’d caught a glimpse of the person I was tailing. To my chagrin, I didn’t catch sight of them immediately.

  “Wait up I said!”

  After some frantic rubbernecking, I found the nearest signage. “4th and E Street.”

  I cradled my head and went through my memory of the last few minutes. Between the two lampposts I currently stood between, I’d clearly seen someone disappear down what looked to have been a side street or alley from a distance. My current problem wasn’t so much as losing their trail, but a more fundamental issue.

  I waved a hand in front of my face. “What is this, some kind of joke?” There wasn’t anything in front of me besides a brick wall. No alley, not even a small crevice to squeeze through, no nothing. There was, however, a huge mural of a shop-lined street packed with people going about their business. It made it seem like someone was having a joke at my expense.

  Was I seeing things?

  I caught Bell out of the air and pinched her lightly between my fingers. “Bell, you seeing what I’m seeing?”

  “You mean, that street?” Bell asked brightly.

  I shook her. “You know what I mean.”

  “Hmm… ooh, I’ve got it! Try feeling it up, I bet it’ll work wonders for your mood!”

  I put my hands against the wall— and they fell through.

  Now that I’d calmed down enough to take note of it, I could see the mural was bathed in a pale luminescence. If I hadn’t been so worked up, I would’ve seen the mirage effect earlier, if not right away.

  “Some shoddy illusion work if you ask me,” Bell said, sounding unimpressed.

  “I knew that was there, I was just testing you.”

  “Right, right, of course you did~”

  I held onto my hat and stepped through. Before I oriented myself I was thrown clear off my feet, bowled over several people on the crowded sidewalk, and slammed into the side of one of those fancy new carts that didn’t need horses. I groaned and cradled my head as my back screamed at me.

  “What’d you do to my beautiful cart?!”

  The world bent in and out of focus in time with the beating of my heart. “Mmm, what was that?” I slurred.

  “I said, what’ve you done to my cart, you damned ruffian?!”

  A pudgy man grabbed me by the nape of my neck and hauled me to my feet. My muscles were slack and my body followed suit bonelessly. He forced me to turn around to look at the bent metal side door.

  It was clearly dented where I’d hit it.

  “Look at this! Look at what you’ve done to my baby! Mark my words, you’ll pay every last copper it costs to fix it! I’ll have my pound of flesh for this!” Spittle flew from the man’s mouth from the force of his words. “Hey, I’m talking here, are you even listening to me?!”

  “And that’s why I don’t like humans,” Bell said.

  Dizzy, I looked around and around until I caught sight of Bell hovering nearby. “Bell, go ahead and see if you can’t catch that redhead’s trail.”

  Bell flipped me the laziest salute I’d ever seen. “You can count on me, chief!” She smacked her little fist against her chest and darted off.

  I needed to figure out what could have caused such a huge burst of magical energy. I slipped the man’s grasp while he was distracted by his latest argument with himself. I felt bad for the people I’d bowled over, but I had someone I needed to track down, and it couldn’t wait.

  “Hey, get back here! Don’t ignore me, damnit!”

  Chapter Thirteen

  I caught Bell redhanded at a nearby magic shop, looking slightly guilty as she chowed down on a mana crystal twice her size. “I cannot believe you managed to get distracted and lose the person you were supposed to be following!”

  With obvious reluctance, Bell snapped off a sliver of her booty and offered it to me. “Look, Kal-baby, munch, I get it, munch munch, you’re mad. Munch. Here, munch, have a bite— it’ll turn that frown upside down~”

  Several brownies skirted around me as they continued to dust and clean the various odds and ends on display. The creatures varied in size, but none reached higher than my chest and all were decked out in merchandise advertising the store, Magic n’ Stuff. Whenever I moved or slightly dislodged an item, the shop was quickly returned to the status quo by a busy brownie.

  Clean freaks, the lot of them. I shivered as I saw one brownie attack the eye socket of a giant skull with a feather duster.

  “How do you do, sir? Name’s Alfy.”

  I jumped out of my skin. “What?!”

  “My apologies for startling you, sir, but might I enquire as to whether this sylph is a companion of yours?”

  “Nope, no—”

  Bell burped. “We’re connected at the hip! An unbreakable bond~ Together forever!”

  “Unfortunately, yes. She’s my familiar.”

  The shopkeeper, a man dressed in slacks, a frilly white shirt and suspenders rubbed his hands together and fixed me with an expectant grin. “Ah, wonderful, wonderful. Then I presume you shall be footing the bill for the sumptuous meal she’s consuming?”

  I shot Bell a look. She grinned and continued munching. Ingrate. I handed over the requested amount of gold— gold!— coins like I was pulling teeth, draining our dwindling war chest at record speed. I was so going to make her pay for this later.

  I watched as the shopkeep pocketed the money, smiling, and while he did I belatedly noticed his black hair had many-colored neon streaks worked into it.

  “If you don’t mind my asking, why aren’t your shop windows blown in like all the others?”

  “Ah, from the mana explosion you mean, dangers such as that one are par for the course in this trade, sir, and one must be prepared for such things,” the shopkeeper tapped his nose with a grin, “My wards are top-notch, unlike some of my neighbors. I may have a few new customers come calling after today.” Alfy chuckled and winked.

  I raised my eyebrows and made sure to make appreciative sounds. “So, might you have gotten a good look at the perpetrator? Seen a redhead, maybe?”

  That line of questioning, unlike my previous one, seemed to make the shopkeeper skittish. “I can’t say for sure, really.”

  “You seem to know more than you’re letting on,” I probed. The risk of angering him and getting kicked out of the shop was worth any information that might lead me to Sammie.

  Alfy nodded along regretfully, as if what had just occurred in front of his shop was old news already. “Ah, yes, the serial murders. Terrible, truly terrible. You’ll be safe inside, sir. I wouldn’t recommend venturing outdoors in these conditions.”

  “Serial murders?”

  “Ah, you hadn’t heard? Ah, silly me. Yes, there have been a half-dozen murders over the past few years that The Watch has attributed to a single, as-of-yet unidentified killer. All the killings happen in broad daylight, with unexplained outbursts of energy— unexplained to mundanes maybe, but clearly these are witch hunts.

  “Between you and me, sir, I think The Watch has been paid to look the other way, or else they don’t want to confront this mage killer. I certainly don’t want to run into them. You best keep your eyes wide open. I wouldn’t want to lose a valued customer.”

  “What kind of monster would do that?” I asked.

  “Monsters come in all shapes and sizes, my good sir, and not all of them have sharp teeth and beady red eyes.”

  "I suppose they do.” I picked Bell up and turned towards the door. Her arms and legs were still wrapped around the mana crystal in a be
ar hug. “Well, thank you Alfy, you’ve been a big help.”

  “Thanks for the meal!” Bell said.

  “Sir, are you sure I can’t interest you in anything more to your, shall we say, tastes?”

  I stopped near the door, glanced outside at the ruined shopping district. I’d certainly never felt less equipped to handle the magical mayhem I seemed to be facing, and that didn’t include what I expected to be fielding from Ouroboros. When I turned around, the shopkeeper was rubbing his hands together in what I suspected was gleeful anticipation.

  “Lesser elemental spirits.”

  Now the shopkeeper was positively glowing. “Certainly sir! What flavor might you be looking for?”

  “One for each primal element.”

  “If you would follow me— yes, right this way, do watch your step. Ah, have you been a spirit mage long, Sir…?”

  Bell cracked up at the question, and I shot her another dirty look. “I’m Kal, and the little troublemaker here is Bell.”

  “A pleasure to make your acquaintance,” Alfy bowed his head to Bell, and then to me, “My apologies if I came off as indelicate, it’s just, you don’t see many spirit mages these days, what with it being the age of the sorcerer and all.”

  “Sorcerer?” I rolled the word around in my mouth, tasting it.

  The shopkeep held his hands together. “Pray tell sir, might you have recently arrived from the countryside?”

  I looked at Bell. She looked at me. I forced myself to smile lightly. “Something like that. We’ve been… away, for awhile.”

  Alfy held up his hands. “Of course, of course, I apologize for prying into your personal affairs.”

  I waved off his concerns. “Hah, don’t worry about it, it’s really no big deal.”

  “You’re too kind, sir.”

  In the middle of the showroom, a circular area was partitioned off from the rest of the shop by a heavy black drape hung off a metal track in the ceiling.

  Alfy presented the curtained area with a dramatic wave of his hands. “Ah, here we are sir.”

  I extended my senses and immediately felt a wash of power brush against me. It made me feel tingly-itchy all over. After I acclimated to all the sensations and I did a quick personal inventory, I noticed most of what I was feeling was coming from behind the curtain.

  Bell wriggled out of my grasp and flew off to disappear behind the curtain. “You’ve been holding out on me, mister shopkeeper!”

  “Those aren’t for you, and I doubt they're for eating!” I called after her, not bothering to hide my exasperation.

  “Ooh, pretty colors~”

  “… and she’s not even listening.” I gave the shopkeeper an apologetic look. “Sorry, she’s always like this. If you could pull back the curtain…”

  “Right away, sir.”

  Alfy pulled back the curtain to reveal a series of twisting, intertwining glass tubes and vessels that were bursting with color. Small habitats built into chambers contained different ecosystems suited to specific elements.

  “You simply can’t compare a sentient being like your sylph companion to one of these elementals. Lesser elementals are on the lowest rung of the totem pole, they’re just a hair shy of ambient mana. Can’t really say they have a consciousness, but they are alive, in their own way.

  “Although I’m sure you’re already very much aware, you can see here they gravitate towards the element to which they have an affinity. By providing these things, I’ve simply given them a framework to which they can conform to and abide by.”

  Some vessels were full of wood and packed soil, and earth elementals cavorted through the living greenery there. Others contained lava rocks or charcoal, lit with a cherry glow by the magma-like fire elementals. Water elementals made their home in enclosures of simple watery pools. The wind elementals were semi-translucent, silvery things, and would have been near invisible if they hadn’t been cavorting through freshly fallen leaves.

  Bell looked to be waiting for me to address her, and I wouldn’t disappoint her. “Bell…”

  “Yesssss?” Bell grinned a cheshire grin. “You want to seal a few of these guys inside you. I’ll help, but on one condition. I want part of the spoils, hehe~” Bell hid a disturbing, sharp-toothed grin behind her hands as she laughed, “You can name the little ones, but I get to seal them. Deal?”

  I wasn’t altogether certain I understood what the practical cost of the arrangement she outlined was, but, then, this was Bell we were dealing with, so I was sure there was one.

  Either way though. “Deal.”

  Alfy butted in. “Sir, my lady sylph, I know it’s not my place to say, but depending on their discipline, most spiritualists use a focus or a catalyst when working with elemental energies. What you and the honorable sylph are proposing, is potentially… very dangerous…” Alfy trailed off, looking uncomfortable as he shifted from foot to foot, his eyes never landing in one place for long.

  I grinned widely, then frowned when I saw Bell doing the same. “I’m sure your wards are up to the task, aren’t they?”

  “Yes, well, you see, that isn’t…”

  Bell flew circles around Alfy, who was breaking out in a cold sweat as I watched. “I like this guy, he knows how to treat a lady— unlike some people I know!”

  I divested myself of all the gold I was carrying, leaving only smaller denomination coinage in my grasp. “I’m sure I can convince you to consider our point of view.”

  In for a penny, in for a pound.

  Although Alfy’s nervous demeanor lingered, his eyes were alight with interest. “I have a private warded room I use for personal projects. If you make use of that space, I would happily approve. I’ll even throw in a catalyst or focus of your choice.”

  “I’ll pick out one of these focuses or catalysts or what have you after we’re through. Bell?”

  Bell dove in. “Ready or not, here I come!”

  To the shopkeeper’s dismay, Bell opened stopper after stopper on the sealed chambers, dove inside, and eventually came up with an armful of elementals. A handful of escapees started to wreak havoc as Bell returned to my side. Poor Alfy and his brownies were left to clean up the aftermath while we retired to the warded room at the back of the shop.

  I stared in faint amusement at the brightly colored balls cradled in Bell’s arms. “I thought lesser elementals were spirits without physical form… how are you carrying them like nobody’s business?”

  “Uh, duh, I’m a spirit~”

  I snorted. “Right, duh. Excuse me for asking.”

  Without preamble, Bell and I entered the warded room. Inside the ten by ten space, there was a lethargic stillness to the air. It felt like someone had stuffed my ears full of cotton balls. Unlike the showroom floor, this space had wax candles that provided warm light.

  Adorning all four walls were painted runic symbols and sigils of all shapes and sizes. Since I wasn’t versed in runes, it was all gibberish to me. Upon the floor were three circles inlaid with precious metals enveloping one another: gold, silver, and copper. I marveled at the design and wondered at what it cost to build it.

  “You know, Kal, this will forever alter the way you use and experience magic.”

  I yawned as I pulled off my socks and boots. “That’s the idea.”

  “You’re not taking this seriously.”

  I stood up straight. “Bell, you felt that energy earlier. That was pure, unadulterated power— and, so far, a serial murderer is our best lead to finding Sammie. I’ve a mind to go check out the Maddox estate, but who knows if it’s still standing? Plus, let’s not kid ourselves, Ouroboros isn’t likely to greet us with open arms if they discover we’ve returned— we didn’t leave on the best of terms after all.” I felt the bones in my hands creak from the force I was putting into my clenched fists.

  “Geez, ix-nay on the ang-ray. You shouldn’t bottle up your anger, Kal-baby~ it’s no good for you.”

  “Can we just get on with it?”

  Bell released
the elementals from her grasp, and they orbited her like quad-colored moons. “Whatever you say, chief. Follow along with me. As I draw the sigils, you name them. Got it?”

  I steadied my breathing and found my center. “Got it.”

  She gnawed on her left and right index fingers until a steady flow of blood was seeping out of them. “One in each limb, yeah? I’ll put them where I think’s best.”

  “Mmhmm.” I nodded agreement.

  I felt my chest heat up and Bell’s sigil began to glow. “Alrighty then, here goes nothing~”

  Bell plucked the ball of fire from the air and pushed it inside my left hand.

  “Igni,” I named the lesser fire elemental.

  She painted a fire sigil on the outside of my hand with her personal crest on top. Warmth tingled at the tips of my fingers and shot down my arm.

  The second time Bell pushed a primal elemental force inside me didn’t catch me by surprise, but the experience was no less mystical.

  “Akua,” I named the lesser water elemental.

  Upon my right hand Bell tattooed a series of waves in blood, then she sealed it with a pulse of power. My right hand felt like I’d dunked it into a pool of icy water, and the feeling seeped up my arm.

  Bell spent the least amount of time on the wind elemental, and she drew the same sigil upon the top of my left foot as she had on my chest, three wavy lines stacked on top of each other with her personal sigil centered above it all.

  “Shu,” I named the lesser wind elemental.

  I felt a bit jittery when she was done, but that was all.

  I felt distinctly heavier, but also sturdier and more solid, once Bell pushed the earth elemental beneath the skin of my right foot.

  “Gai,” I named the lesser earth elemental.

  Her calligraphy became noticeably more crude at this point, and I graciously decided she’d drawn a sparkling geode seated beneath her personal sigil.

  As distinct elemental forces collided inside me, I struggled to maintain my composure. I concentrated on my breathing and worked to settle the natural mana seething inside me. My left arm felt hot, too hot, and my right arm was bulging with water weight. My left leg started to spasm uncontrollably, and I lost feeling in my right leg until it felt like dead weight.