Ghalien: A Novel of the Otherworld

by Johnson, Jenna Elizabeth

  Meghan called my name a few times, reaching out to try and catch me. Each time she got too close, I danced out of her reach, always facing her the way a wolf stalked its prey.

  I moved silently into the space just behind her and whispered, "Glamour has so many wonderful uses."

  Meghan turned swiftly, hands reaching out, but I was already across the glen calling over my shoulder, "Invisibility being one of those uses."

  She moved once more and as I sidestepped her advance, I murmured in her ear, "Makes it easy to sneak up on people."

  This time, she managed to make contact, her fingers sweeping against my chest. So tempting just to stop the game and pull her close to me, but somehow I managed to move away to the sound of her huff of irritation. My magic had this knack of picking up on subtle emotions when it was allowed out of its cage. Right now, it was telling me Meghan's heart rate was up and not just because of fear and exertion. Could she be enjoying this little dance as much as I was? The very thought of it, combined with my eager magic, pushed me over the edge. Another side effect of Otherworldly glamour was that it took over and silenced one's inhibitions. At the moment, mine was doing just that. I forgot about the careful distance I had always maintained. I forgot about the troubles that plagued the both of us and I cast aside my concerns regarding her parentage. Never before had I wanted to kiss Meghan so badly, so I gave in to temptation. And of course, I didn't want to stop with just kissing. For several heartbeats, my sensible side wormed its way through all the sensations that had clouded my mind and began arguing with my instincts . . .

  Think about this Cade. You need to keep a distance, remember? You still don't know who her parents are. You don't want to get in too deep and then learn she is off limits.

  But she is so beautiful and her spirit is glowing right now. It has to be because of you . . .

  It would be dishonorable to take advantage of the poor girl in these circumstances. She is quite vulnerable here in Eile and the last thing she needs is some oaf pawing all over her . . .

  At least none of the voices belonged to the Morrigan, and that in and of itself was a blessing, but they wore me down to the point where I no longer cared about decorum and doing the respectable thing.

  With a final plea, my conscience tried to turn me away from the source of my desire, but it was too late and I snapped. Shoving my internal voice into a dark dungeon and slamming the door, I reached out and gripped Meghan's arm, spinning her around to face me. Her eyes widened with surprise, but I knew my invisibility still held. With one hand I steadied her, and with the other I reached out and touched her cheek. Her skin was so warm and smooth and what followed seemed entirely natural. I leaned down and pressed my lips to hers, careful at first, but soon the passion I'd held at bay for so long broke free. The kiss became a force of its own, leading me, controlling me. And although my common sense had short-circuited, I could still feel Meghan's reaction. She wanted this, too. Releasing a small, indiscernible growl, I pressed myself even closer, reveling in the sensation of Meghan's touch. I ran my hands through her hair, tilting her head so that I could deepen the kiss. I could have gone on like this forever, learning every contour of her body, but my dream was shattered by the thing I feared most.

  Oh Caedehn, what could you possibly be doing at this very moment? Your mind is on fire. Might you be with that little strayling of yours?

  The harsh scroll of my mother's words playing across my mind killed the moment in a heartbeat.

  I brought the kiss to an end, though my heart urged me to continue.

  Get out of my head, woman.

  Had I spoken aloud, my voice would have been a snarl.

  No endearments for your one and only mother? Why so eager to be rid of me, Caedehn? Is that why you refused to meet me this morning? Because of your Faelorah?

  Bitterness tinged her words and I could only grit my teeth and send, You are not to use that term when speaking of her. Your thoughts turn it foul.

  But that's what she is, my dear boy. Your beloved treasure. And when this all comes to an end, and it will, believe me, it will, she will be lost to you.

  The image of Meghan chained to the wall of that foul pit flashed into my mind, only this time she was no longer struggling against the moghreth. She was already dead.

  The heat in my blood from only moments before froze in an instant and my glamour lashed its tail and bared its teeth, no longer wishing to be gentle but wanting to tear the world asunder. Horrified, I pushed Meghan away. Not so much because I was disgusted by the image, but because I feared the Morrigan might sense her presence here in Eile.

  Keep your filth to yourself, crone. I will be making my way to your realm within the hour.

  Do not speak to your mother that way. Her words were angry, but they had little effect on me.

  Then do not taunt me with your grotesque imaginings.

  You have until mid-afternoon to reach my realm. I suggest you begin your trek soon.

  The conversation had lasted a handful of seconds, long enough to leave Meghan flustered and confused.

  "Forgive me, Meghan," I finally said aloud, my voice no more than a harsh whisper. "I got carried away with the moment. I'm sorry for my behavior."

  I wasn't at all sorry for my behavior, but I had to say something to explain why I had pulled away so abruptly, and there was no way in Eile I was telling her the truth. Nothing like admitting your mother was a sadist who liked to send you horrific images of the girl you desired to frighten said girl away for good. Nope. A nice little lie about succumbing to temptation was good enough for now.

  Meghan looked stricken, as if this had all been some awful dream she'd suddenly awoken from. Shaking off my lingering nerves and the inopportune conversation with my mother, I tried on a smile and reached out a hand, hoping to engender a feeling of goodwill. Right now, I was eager to restore what friendship existed between Meghan and I, so I could get her safely through the dolmarehn. I could rage against my mother later.

  "I think it's time I return you home before you are missed. We can work on channeling your glamour another day."

  Without a word, Meghan stepped past me and found her way back to the main trail. Meridian, who had remained mostly silent all this time, swooped down from the canopy above and flew ahead of her master.

  Fergus approached next, pausing beside me for only a few moments before moving on.

  Your words were unkind and your tone callous, he sent as we left the stone circle behind.

  I felt my nerves tighten at that. I know, I sent back, my anger a low simmer. The Morrigan invaded my mind and I feared she might discover Meghan's presence here in Eile.

  So?

  She sent me images of Meghan, her lifeless body chained to the wall of a deep pit.

  My shil-sciar words were hard, but the last thing I needed right now was a reprimand from a dog, spirit guide or not.

  Fergus was silent a long time as we walked through the quiet woods.

  You'll just have to make it up to her then, he finally sent.

  I know, I conceded, my anger abating, but right now, I just want to get her as far away from Eile as possible.

  All she wishes is to be closer to you. Despite the flaws you think you have, she has grown to care for you more than you want to give her credit for.

  That caught me off guard for a moment. Going against my usual denial of such statements, I sent back, What if being close to me puts her in danger?

  Do you love her?

  Again I held off on answering him. Not that I could hide the truth from Fergus. Even without speaking into his mind, he usually knew my thoughts.

  Yes, I finally conceded, but real love is unselfish, Fergus. Real love is about the one you care for and doing whatever it takes to keep them safe. That is why I push her away, do you understand? To keep her close would only put her in harm's way.

  You are wrong. Loving someone isn't about keeping them safe by remaining distant. It is about making them happy and doing everything
you can to protect them. I may only be a dog, but I understand these things. After all, is it not my kind that has learned to love man, both mortal and Faelorehn, above ourselves? Do we not know what it is to be loyal? Loving someone is about sacrifice and acceptance and although you may think you're doing the right thing, if Meghan's heart is breaking, then how can you say you truly love her?

  With that, Fergus trotted ahead of me, passing up Meghan so that he could lead the way.

  Stunned, I walked in silence for several minutes as I turned Fergus's words over in my head. My spirit guide's wisdom never ceased to amaze me and I was starting to wonder why. You would think after the years we'd been together I'd learn to take his advice more often. Unfortunately with regards to Meghan, I feared I would have to wait a little longer before I could keep her close.

  "Just until I find a way to be free of the Morrigan," I murmured to no one in particular. "Then I will offer her my heart, if she wants it."

  The woods said nothing as I continued down the trail, always keeping Meghan in sight, but then again, I didn't expect an answer. Only time would tell what the future held and I was willing to wait so long as I could hope for something I hadn't dared to hope for in a long time: a chance at a life with the young woman I loved.

  The Beltane Party

  Many of the young women flooding out of the hallways of Meghan's school glanced at me on their way to their vehicles, some of the young men, too. An even greater number of those girls spared me more than just a fleeting look. One of them almost tripped over a curb. Had I been much younger, their obvious scrutiny might have made me laugh. Now, I was only mildly amused. Having been the subject of women's interest for so long now, their consideration no longer affected me. After all, what good was admiration if it went only skin deep? Huffing a great sigh, I tilted my head so that my chin rested on my chest and shifted my weight, resettling on the hood of my Trans Am. There was only one young woman whose good opinion I desired, and when I happened to look up again, she was walking toward me.

  Instantly, my glamour stirred in its sleep, sensing Meghan's own magic as much as I sensed her presence. We hadn't parted on the best of terms, what with Danua driving a wedge between us the last time we were in Eile. The same wedge I had feared the moment the Dagda had informed me of her true identity. Had Meghan been the daughter of Tuatha De nobility, that would have been hard enough, but somehow I might have managed to convince her parents I was worthy of her. But no, she had to be the high queen's daughter. If someone from Danua's court were to ask her who would be the most inappropriate match for her daughter, she would undoubtedly name me.

  Despite my dismal outlook on life, however, there was one spark of hope for me to hold onto: Meghan had asked me to her prom. True, it was only a dance and she may have only been asking me as a friend, but it meant she wasn't ready to cut me out of her life quite yet.

  As Meghan drew closer, I left my wayward thoughts alone and pulled open the door for her. After tossing her backpack and duffle bag into the back, she settled into the passenger seat and we were soon on our way. Once we reached the end of the road behind the swamp, I pulled off to the side and locked my car before Meghan and I headed for the dolmarehn. Speirling was waiting for us on the other side, just beyond the tangled forest's edge. I helped Meghan onto his back and then climbed up behind her. We took our time traveling to the Dagda's since his Beltane party didn't start for several hours. I informed Meghan it was to give Speirling a break since he'd be carrying both of us, when in reality I simply wanted an excuse to have her nestled up close to me.

  My foster father welcomed us to his domain with all the warmth and affability I expected of him, and a strange yet not unpleasant sensation of joy swept through me when Meghan stepped comfortably into his open arms. If only Danua held the same regard for me . . .

  The Dagda led Meghan away, laughing and speaking with her as if they'd known one another their entire lives.

  "You'll be staying in your customary room then, Caedehn?"

  I turned around and felt some of the tension drain from my body.

  "Yes, Alannah, and no need to escort me. I know the way."

  Alannah arched a dark brow then placed her hands on her hips, her mouth quirking up on one side. "I see. Wouldn't want to make your young lady jealous should she spy us walking arm in arm?"

  My gaze narrowed and Alannah only laughed.

  "Are you sure you do not wish to have a conjoining room with hers? The festivities are still hours away and I can think of at least one way the two of you might pass the time."

  Despite Alannah's attempt at teasing me in regards to my relationship with Danua's daughter, a sly grin worked its way onto my face. I crossed my arms and gave her a chastising look. Oh, I liked her suggestion very much, but I was pretty certain Meghan might be a little averse to the idea.

  "My room is perfectly fine," I said in an even tone. "I'll be seeing enough of Meghan later tonight."

  "Uh huh," she answered, her eyes twinkling. She turned and stepped lightly away, leaving me to regret the way I had phrased my answer.

  On my way down the hall, I sought out my foster father using shil-sciar. I'm going to get ready for your party. Meghan and I will see you in the great room.

  Eager to spruce up for your lady? he replied.

  Something like that, I admitted.

  I do not blame you. I'll see you both very soon.

  The Dagda ended our conversation with a shil-sciar version of a light chuckle and I disappeared into my room. The airy space felt like it had been recently cleaned. The round windows embedded in the hillside were clear of grime and not a speck of dust could be found anywhere. The fireplace was unlit, but a pile of wood waited in case the room grew cold, and the bed spread looked recently washed. Sighing, I stepped over to the closet on one side of the room and began rifling through the supply of clothing I kept here.

  Pulling out some trousers, a shirt and a formal vest, I quickly got dressed. Considering my usual attire consisted of battle-worn, gore-stained garments, the simple yet elegant ensemble I had chosen might actually make me look respectable.

  It didn't take me very long to get ready, so I spent a few minutes checking in with Fergus.

  Meridian and I are exploring the hills, my spirit guide responded.

  Find any faelah? I asked.

  Not yet, but we shall keep a look out.

  After finishing up with Fergus, I left my room and asked one of the servants where I might find Meghan. A young girl pointed me down one of the hallways and when I reached the door she had indicated, I cleared my throat, stood up straight and rapped my knuckles against the wood.

  I was just preparing myself to knock again when the door swung open. A greeting formed on my lips, but it got stuck in my throat as I took in the picture before me. Meghan stood there, wearing a black and white dress in a style found only in the mortal world. It wasn't so much the dress itself that struck me speechless, but the aura that surrounded Meghan. She was undeniably beautiful, but then again, she had always been so in my eyes. At this moment, however, there was something more about her. Perhaps it was the lighting of the room, or the fact that we were at the Dagda's about to immerse ourselves in his hospitality on Beltane Eve. Or maybe it was something else. Maybe, just maybe, Meghan's glamour was finally making itself at home and a small shred of hope nagged that such a home could only include me.

  "Something wrong?"

  The spell I was under dissolved and I blinked at Meghan.

  "No," I said quickly, trying to recover. "Nothing's wrong at all."

  I offered my arm and she took it, smiling up at me. The hallway was dimmer than her room, but I had no trouble leading her toward the entrance hall of my foster father's abode. The great door had been flung open and the night's cold air and dark shadows flooded in. In the center of the courtyard a bonfire had been lit and someone was telling old tales of Cuchulainn. Meghan asked about the stories and I confirmed the truth behind them. A small voice nagged at m
e, reminding me of the other secret I kept from Meghan. I shook it off, determined to ignore any voice that threatened to ruin the evening, especially the Morrigan's.

  Just enjoy the night, Cade, I told myself. No need to think about your past or the father you never knew.

  Once we reached the crowded main hall, I left Meghan to go get us both some mead. From the tense way she had clung to my side, I had a feeling a drink might help ease her nerves a little. When I offered it to her she took a tentative sip, but it didn't take her long to decide she liked it. Her overall joy, starting from the moment I met her in her room until the very second after trying mead for the first time, lightened my heart. Dropping my guard, I took her cup and set it aside. I could feel my glamour welling up again and I was reminded of the day I set it free in the broken stone circle those many weeks ago.

  "Care to dance?" I asked, offering her my hand.

  As soon as she accepted, I whisked her off to join the others on the dance floor. Unfortunately, the dance wasn't the type to promote close contact with your partner, but Meghan seemed to be enjoying herself, so I let my slight disappointment go. Once the music stopped I led her back to one of the many alcoves decorating the walls. The fast pace of the music had left us both somewhat breathless, but I had the added bonus of my glamour playing off my emotions once again. I may have led Meghan back to a hidden corner of the room, but in reality I wanted to lead her somewhere a little more secret and a lot more private . . .

  My magic agreed and before I could yank it back into obedience, I was pressing up against her, my mouth too close to her ear to be considered decent. Whispering her name, I planned to do something I would very much enjoy and probably regret. Unfortunately, we were interrupted before anything could happen.