Born Sinner (Se7en Sinners #1)

by S. L. Jennings

  I turn my face into his touch and kiss his palm. “Some days, it feels like longer.” I meet his questioning gaze. “Intimacy was never easy for me. Knowing how someone feels about you—feeling their vile thoughts when you’re at your most vulnerable—it can kinda be a cock block.”

  “So how did you combat it?”

  I shrug. “Get really drunk so I either don’t care or can’t make the connection. I need concentration. Anytime my emotions are frazzled or my head is cloudy, it’s damn near impossible.”

  “Hmmm.” He nods. “Maybe I can help with that?”

  “Really?”

  “Yeah. The mind is like a muscle. We just need to work it out.”

  “And the rest of me?” I raise a wicked brow.

  “I can work that out too.”

  Teasing kisses and light touches lead to him on his back with me straddling him again. He’s hard, but I want to prolong this moment. It’s rare to see him so buoyant and generous with his smiles.

  “Tell me something. Why me? After all this time, why break your vow for me?”

  He furrows his brow, his mouth pressed into a thin line. Oh shit. I shouldn’t have gone there. Just as we were breaking serious ground, I had to open my big mouth and remind him of what he’s just sacrificed. I take his silence as my cue to go, but he holds me in place just as I try to roll off him.

  “I’ve roamed this earth for a long time, and Hell for longer than that. I’ve basked in the pain of others and thrived in debauchery, just as I’ve known immeasurable grace. Yet, in all those years, I could never be who I am—what I am—without the preconceived notions and preambles. People are drawn to the allure of darkness, but they’re afraid of it. They want to dip their toe into it, but not let it consume them. But you…you were born into sin. You were made for this darkness. And even though I know you are so much more than that, I feel at…home. With you, inside you, it makes me remember what it feels like to belong somewhere.”

  I gaze down at this man—this demon…this angel—with tears shining in my eyes. “You can be you. Just you. And nothing else.” The gentleness in the middle of the night. The fierce protectiveness. The glimmers of playful flirtation. That was all him. Not what everyone expects Legion to be. Yet, I haven’t even scratched the surface.

  “Yes.”

  He carries the burden of lost souls. I carry the weight of my own vicious demons. We are different, yet kindred in so many ways. As if the universe or God or some other force greater than the both of us had been waiting for us to find each other.

  I don’t need to ask him any more questions. I lift myself up onto my knees and position him at my entrance. And then I let my body do the talking. It’s a slow, deliberate exchange full of raspy whispers and melodic sighs. And when there’s finally nothing else to say, we come together, our fingers and tongues intertwined. Spent and sore, I fall asleep right there on his chest, lulled by the hummed lullaby of his heartbeat. It’s the only place on earth that I ever want to be.

  When I wake up after too little sleep, I look up to find him watching me, a small smile on his face. It looks different in the daylight—more vulnerable. It’s easily the most beautiful sight I’ve ever seen.

  “When you look at me like that, I can see why you were an angel,” I whisper, my voice hoarse with sleep and sex.

  “Can you?”

  “Yes. I can also see that you’re very, very bad.”

  He chuckles, causing his chest to vibrate and tickle my bare chest. “Only when provoked.”

  “Well, considering that I can feel you stabbing me from behind, I think I must’ve done something to provoke you.”

  His fingers rake through my hair before traveling to my back, igniting tingles up and down my spine. “You do every day. Just by breathing. Just by being who you are.”

  My arms, stiff and sore, wobble as I lift up onto my elbows. “I should’ve known. I seem to have a thing for bad boys.”

  “That’s good to hear.”

  “Is it?” I purr and nudge my ass against him.

  “Mmmm,” he groans. “You better stop that or we’ll never leave this bed.”

  “Sounds good to me.” Another nudge, and a roll of my hips.

  “Me too. I’d love nothing more than to spend the entire day inside you. But…” He gives me an apologetic look that makes him seem almost human. “The Seraph are in the city. Meaning they want something.”

  “I understand,” I reply, stifling a tiny twinge of disappointment.

  “But I want to take you somewhere. Tonight. Will you wait for me?” His earnest question seems odd, as if it is wrapped around a hidden meaning that I can’t quite decipher.

  “Of course,” I reply, meaning it. “When do you have to leave?”

  “In an hour. I was just waiting for you to wake up.”

  “An hour, huh?” I bite my bottom lip seductively. “What ever shall we do to pass the time?”

  A wicked gleam shines in Legion’s silver eyes. “I don’t know. What do you have in mind?”

  “I’ve got a few ideas.”

  And with that, I crawl down his body and brace my hands on his powerful thighs before taking as much as I can of him into my mouth. He groans loudly, unabashedly, twitching against my tongue and gathering my mussed hair into his tight fist.

  He tastes even better than I’d dreamed.

  Everyone goes with Legion to meet with the Seraph except for Lilith, who opts to stay behind to keep me company. I can’t deny that I’m glad for it, especially after last night. And this morning. And the shower fifteen minutes ago. I know that I can’t share anything with her—not that I would—but it feels good to have some female camaraderie, even if it is a lie. Even if she was deliberately planted to befriend me. Still, I miss her friendship, and just connecting with another girl. And I miss Sister.

  Lilith seems just as exuberant to have a girl’s day, and nearly pushes the guys out the front door. I hardly even get a chance to wish Legion good luck. I want to say more—do more—but I know that wouldn’t be a good idea. I’ve built my life on a foundation of secrets. Now is not the time to open the vault.

  “So I have tons planned for us to do today!” she beams. “Mani/pedis, movies, ice cream—the whole nine!”

  “Really?” I fail to hide my cringe. “You don’t have to do all that for me. Besides, your nails are perfect.” It’s hard to believe this girl fights for a living.

  “But yours aren’t.”

  I know she doesn’t mean it maliciously, and she’s totally right, but…ouch.

  “Ok, fine. Where do you want me?” I sigh. Resisting her would be futile.

  Lilith claps her hands with glee. “Follow me!”

  We spend most of the day in her bedroom, which she has pretty much transformed into a full service luxury salon. I’ve gotten my nails and toes done, my hair deep conditioned and color touched up (which was much needed) and my brows waxed, all while sipping champagne. Girl Power classics such as Legally Blonde and Mean Girls play in the background while she plays life-size Barbie with me. The fact that she’s enjoying every second of it definitely helps to thaw my attitude. I can see why she was excited. She’s surrounded by men all day every day with no real connection to the outside world. Maybe she misses what we had just like I do. Maybe it wasn’t all a lie.

  “Can I ask you a question?”

  Lilith refills our glasses with fizzy pink bubbles and nods. “Of course.”

  “Don’t you ever get…I don’t know. Do you ever date?”

  “You mean, have I hooked up with any of the Se7en?”

  My face heats with guilt, and I take a sip.

  “No. We’re all too close for that. You saw the Oath. The sharing of blood is sacred. In their eyes, I’m their sister. Closer, even.”

  That makes sense. “And other guys?”

  “I’ve had lovers,” she shrugs. “Many of them. But no attachments. It’s not feasible in my profession, and I don’t like the lying. That was the hardest part when
I met you. I knew you were someone I could genuinely care for, and I hated the thought of deceiving you.”

  I nod, understanding. She did what she had to do, and I can’t fault her for that. I can’t hold it against her considering that I’ve forgiven Legion for his part in all this.

  “I get it,” I tell her.

  “Do you?”

  “I do. I’ve had to pretend my entire life. Not because I wanted to deceive people, but because I wanted to protect them. And honestly, that’s all you’ve done. You and the Se7en. Even Cain, even though he hates me. It would probably be a thousand times worse if those Russians had snatched me that first night, or even the Alliance. So…thank you.”

  Lilith smiles and looks away, but not before I see the tears in her eyes. I’m not good with that type of emotion, so I just let her have her moment, silently praying that it passes quickly.

  “So, how was Colorado Springs?” she says after a few minutes of silence. She swipes under her eyes, careful not to smear her eyeliner.

  “It was good. Weird, but good.” I frown slightly. Even with all the crazy hocus-pocus, I actually enjoyed meeting the Skotos family. The prophecy shit I could’ve done without, but I won’t tell her that. Not when I’m still trying to wrap my head around it.

  I tell her about the splendor of the Broadmoor, and its lush, green grounds and mild temperatures.

  “Elemental magic,” she explains. “Not surprising, especially since they have a Light Enchanter on their payroll.”

  “It was amazing, either way. I’ve never been out of Illinois. Seeing the Rocky Mountains and all that open land was like being on another planet.”

  “You’ve never been out of the state?” She looks stunned, as if I’ve just told her that I sniff powdered sugar recreationally.

  I shrug, ignoring the embarrassed flush of my cheeks. “No money for travel. I’ve always wanted to, but you know how it is.”

  “Well…hopefully, we can change that soon.” She offers me a hopeful smile, followed an arm squeeze.

  We spend the rest of the day gorging on her hidden stash of junk food and pints of gourmet gelato. I have to admit, between the movies and the makeover, I’m having fun. No talk of nightmares or impending doom. We don’t even mention her demon form during the Blood Oath. And oddly enough, I don’t see her that way, just as I don’t see Legion as some fanged, horned, red-skinned beast. And it’s so damn refreshing to just pretend, even for an afternoon, that we’re just regular girls for a change.

  The rest of the Se7en don’t return until after nightfall, their expressions grim. No one speaks, resolving to retreat to their rooms and private corners of the house. Cain and Toyol take up in the living to play video games, murmuring something about blowing shit up. Phenex disappears to read. Andras, Lilith and Jinn prepare to go out for patrol. And Legion… Legion doesn’t say much of anything.

  “Hey,” I say to his back. He goes straight to the bedroom without a word and heads for the locked closet I noticed when I first arrived. He doesn’t answer, so I keep talking, just to fill the awkward silence. “How did the meeting with the Seraph go?”

  “Fine.”

  He fishes a key from his pants packet and unlocks the door, revealing—not a closet—but an armory. Illuminated with florescent lights, guns of every size and make are proudly displayed on each wall. There are also other weapons: knives, swords, crossbows, and a plethora of deadly gadgets. A small section is reserved for his fighting leathers and utility boots. No wonder he kept it locked. Even untrained, I could have done some serious damage if I had gotten in here. Still could, but he’s trusting me. He’s letting me in, and that fact makes his aloofness sting a tiny bit less.

  “Is there something wrong?” I finally ask, shifting uncomfortably on my feet. I hate that I feel insecure. I hate that I spent the entire day getting pretty in hopes he’d like it. I hate that I even care.

  “No. Just…” He sighs heavily, scrubbing a hand on the back of his neck before whipping off his beanie. The same beanie he would wear when he would come into my store. An ache of nostalgia echoes in my chest.

  “Come on, L. I don’t want there to be secrets between us. If it has something to do with me, then I deserve to know.”

  He releases another breath before training his gaze on me. “The Seraph not only know that we have you, they also know about the Jumper.”

  Adriel. This is about Adriel.

  “And what does that mean?”

  “It means that they want you too. How badly? I don’t know. Maybe enough to supply demons with angel venom, although an offense that severe would result in banishment. So naturally, they’re denying all knowledge of it.”

  “You think they could be lying? I mean, they’re angels.”

  “That means nothing, Eden. The greatest evil that has ever existed was once an angel. I was once an angel. And you see where that got me. Trapped between two worlds, shamed and discarded.”

  I take a step closer, placing a tentative hand on his arm. When he doesn’t move away or shrug out of my touch, I step in closer. “None of that matters, because who you are—what you are—is not defined by a name or a title or some centuries old legend. You have the capacity for goodness, integrity and fairness. And you’ve shown me all those things—someone who doesn’t deserve that type of mercy. Give yourself some credit.”

  He looks away before nodding once. When he doesn’t turn to look at me again, I say, “Hey, we don’t have to go out tonight if you don’t want to.”

  “No, I want to.” He moves away, replacing the weapons on his person with fresh ones. “There’s a full moon tonight, and I don’t want to miss it. Besides, you just endured Lil for an entire afternoon. I don’t envy you, but I must admit, I’m not mad at the results.”

  Legion gives me a look that makes my knees wobble, his ire erased and replaced with something much more carnal. I nervously touch my hair.

  “You noticed?”

  He mimics my gesture and his hand comes up to touch the strands of hair tangled in my fingers. “I notice everything about you, Eden. When are you going to start believing that?”

  I blush and divert my eyes to the floor like a foolish schoolgirl. His searing touch vanishes, and I feel him take a step away.

  “So tonight then.”

  I nod. “Tonight.”

  “Good. Let’s see if I can still shock you.”

  And as if he hasn’t already shocked me enough in the last twenty-four hours, he gives me wink before exiting the space.

  Most girls would expect dinner, maybe a movie. But I get the feeling that Legion isn’t the type to date. Lucky for him, neither am I.

  We ride through the city under the cover of night, zipping through cars and pedestrians like a slithering black snake. We’ve spent more than our fair share of time together inside the Jag, but now being here with him just seems different after last night. More intimate. Like there’s an electric current that constantly flows between our bodies, spiking our blood with neon sparks.

  I silently wonder if he can feel it too. And as if answering my unspoken question, he releases a slow hiss between his teeth, that tick in his jaw on overtime. Either he’s pissed or as turned on as I am. I’m hoping for the latter.

  “We’re here,” he announces, pulling up to a ramshackle building. I had been so engrossed in his presence that I didn’t even notice that we had traveled to the Southside. Not just the Southside. My neighborhood. My building. Shit, this is where I used to live with Sister.

  An ache radiates from gut to throat as I remember all the laughs and tears we shared within those peeling walls. I remember the way Sister’s light and love had once filled the tiny space and made it a home. It was all we could afford while she was in nursing school, and even though she made enough to move afterward, she didn’t want to leave me. I wouldn’t let her take care of me financially, and she let me have my pride. Even though I could barely make my half of the rent and expenses, she never resented me.

  I don’
t even notice that Legion has exited the car until he’s opening my door.

  “Why did you bring me here?” I whisper, my words drowned out by sirens and gangster rap pulsating from passing cars.

  “Because I want to show you something. It won’t take long, promise.”

  I nod and take his outstretched hand, letting him pull me from the vehicle. He doesn’t let go when I stand, and neither do I. Not during the trek through the ramshackle lobby. Not as we take the elevator to the rooftop. Not until we step outside, feeling the crisp, cold air whipping our cheeks. He holds my hand, offering me warmth and comfort, as if he knows how difficult it is for me to be here. It hasn’t been long, but already this place seems like a distant memory.

  “It’s empty. Abandoned,” I mutter.

  “I bought the building and paid off the residents. Handsomely.” He shrugs sheepishly. “It really is unfit to live in. The offer to leave was received exuberantly.”

  “I bet. This place was a Hell hole,” I remark, the irony not lost on either of us. We share a small chuckle.

  “But it was your home.”

  “It was. But without Sister, it just seems like any other shitty dump in the city.”

  He nods before striding over to the ledge and looking out over the twinkling lights of Chicago. I follow him, spying the drug dealers and prostitutes that I had grown familiar with at their usual posts. The crack house across the street still has a steady stream of consumers. And Willie, the resident drunk, is staggering around in a dirty trench coat with a half empty bottle of cheap rum in his dingy palm.

  This once was my home. But now it just seems like someone else’s life being played out in some cliché movie about the slums of Any City, USA.

  “I spent many days on this roof as you slept in your bed.” His gaze is still trained on the scene stretched before us, but he’s speaking to me. “I watched over you, listening to your screams through the paper-thin walls, wishing I could save you from the terrors of your nightmares. No one ever tried to help, even if they could hear you, and it sickened me.”