Restart Again: Volume 2

by Adam Ladner Scott

  Even with my subdued emotions, I was stunned at how clear my error had been when my analysis concluded. The differences would have been clear to anybody else, given the chance to compare a true Thrall side by side with an Unbound soldier. A Thrall’s eyes are glassy and without irises or pupils. The change happens as soon as the Dominion gains control, granting the sight of the Thrall to the greater collective. In Attetsia, the coloration and facial scarring was similar, but the eyes of the Unbound soldiers chosen by the Strategist still retained their human features. While the similarities were remarkable, all of the evidence pointed to one unmistakable fact. Those men were not Thralls. I was wrong.

  I reflected on the conclusion with detached interest. Does it matter if I was wrong? My motivations were incorrect, but the same goal was achieved in the end. With the General dead and the Strategist in custody, the Elta’sahn Company has failed to...I paused, unable to finish the thought. What was their ultimate goal? If the Dominion truly wasn’t involved, was the Strategist telling the truth about his plot with the King? He seemed confident that we wouldn’t leave the council room alive, so he had no reason to lie. His explanation of the Warp drug makes more sense with my new understanding of the situation, too.

  Despite my best efforts, the emotions I held at bay in the back of my mind began to seep through to my conscious thought. If he was telling the truth, why am I here? Why did I have to leave? I wasn’t sent there to foil stupid political plots, I was supposed to save the world! I wanted to scream out in frustration, but I lacked the physical form to do so. I wasn’t killed, and I wasn’t finished! So WHY AM I DEAD?!

  “You aren’t dead,” Amaya’s voice spoke into ears I didn’t have. “You pushed yourself too hard, and now you’re asleep.”

  You again. The anger that had grown inside me coalesced into a single point, directed at the source of the voice. I already know your trick; you can’t fool me with her voice anymore.

  “Oh, Elden,” she said sadly, “I’m so sorry for everything you’ve had to endure. I understand if you can’t trust me.”

  It’s not an issue of trust. You can’t be the real Amaya, so you’re either that...thing, or you’re just my subconscious. In either case, whatever you say doesn’t matter.

  “Why can’t I be the real Amaya?” She let out a small giggle. “After everything you’ve seen in your lives, why is this so impossible?”

  I attempted to steel my resolve, unwilling to fall for another trick from the presence in my head. Just go away. I can’t afford to be distracted right now; I need to be ready when the pain comes.

  There was a long pause before Amaya responded. “And when is that?”

  I don’t know! It was always after...no. Although she wasn’t there with me, it felt as though I could see the self-satisfied smirk on Amaya’s face that always appeared when she won an argument. There was never a before. The pain was always there in the void.

  “I guess that means you aren’t dead, then, doesn’t it?”

  No, it could be different now. I threw out the weak defense as my brain struggled to keep up with yet another paradigm shift. Every certainty I had convinced myself of over the course of my life in Kaldan had been called into question, and the implications were too far-reaching to grasp for my frazzled mind.

  “Sir, I, um, I think she’s right,” Alda’s voice called out to me in her familiar timid, stumbling cadence. “You’re not dead, just, erm, passed out.”

  That can’t be right. A dangerous shred of hope snuck its way into my thoughts. If I was wrong about the Dominion, that means I was wrong about our mission to Attetsia. And if I was wrong about the mission, that means…

  “You still have more work to do in Kaldan,” Amaya finished.

  “And people that need you!” Alda chimed in.

  Lia. The thought of seeing her again sent a surge of energy through me, and for a brief moment, I felt a flicker of corporeal sensation. I’m still alive, Lia.

  “She’s waiting for you, you know.” Amaya spoke tenderly, as if to a small child. “It’s been hours, but she hasn’t given up hope yet.”

  I felt a slight tingle in what would have been my hand. “She’s praying,” Alda said with a reverent whisper. “At least, I think she is; I’m, um, not very familiar with how prayer works, but that's what it looks like to me, sir.”

  The sensation returned as a spark that ran from my hand up to my shoulder and back down again, returning the limb to reality. Faint, truncated phrases echoed through the darkness around me, unmistakably in Lia’s voice. “O Primes of...please grant...to return...bring him back.”

  I’m coming, Lia. Energy continued to slowly trace its way around my body, restoring my lost form. I’m not leaving until I keep my promise.

  Amaya giggled. “You and your promises, Elden. Have you ever considered that you expect too much from yourself?”

  I laughed and shook my head. “No, I haven’t,” I replied aloud. It felt good to laugh after the day’s events, but another thought brought a frown to my face. “I don’t understand what you are. Is this a dream? Or just another trick to get me to lower my guard?” I looked side to side, scanning for some answer through the darkness. “How can this be...you?”

  “I don’t know, love,” she answered. “I just feel like me.” There was a sudden shimmer of tiny lights from the void in front of me, and Amaya’s form began to appear, wreathed in a radiant golden glow.

  Alda appeared beside her a moment later, smiling up at me. “I’m me, too! At least, I think I am. I’m not sure who else I would be.”

  It was a bizarre experience to see the two of them side by side; the separate lives I had lived with each of them seemed to blur together in my current reality. “If the two of you are really here, then maybe—”

  “Elden,” Amaya interrupted, holding up her hand, “take a breath. Relax. Enjoy the moment before it’s gone.” She smiled and tilted her head to the side. “Not everything is a mystery that has to be solved.”

  “But it’s…” I trailed off, struggling to find the words. Failing in my search, I motioned to the two of them. “It’s you. If you’re actually here with me, I need to know...” Somewhere in the distance, a dim amber light began to pulse in a distinctly cardioid rhythm.

  Alda took a step forward. “We’re always here with you, sir. Even when you’re awake.”

  “That’s right,” Amaya added, moving up as well. “We always will be. But there’s somebody who needs you out there.” She motioned backwards with a tip of her head towards the amber light, which grew in intensity as we spoke.

  I stared at it unmoving, suddenly unsure of every decision I had ever made. Blinking away the mist in my eyes, I looked at Amaya and Alda with trepidation. “I don’t know what to do.”

  “Yes, you do,” Amaya answered, stepping forward to wrap me in a soft embrace. The soft golden fuzz on the back of her long ears brushed by the side of my face, bringing back hundreds of memories of our years together. “I’m so proud of the person you’ve become, Elden,” she whispered into my ear.

  There was a great feeling of relief at the base of my neck, as if a muscle had finally relaxed after years of constant strain, and I started to cry. My eyes fell to my newly scarred right hand, and I shook my head in shame. “No. You shouldn’t—”

  Alda’s small hands grasped mine, covering the jagged black marks. “You did your best to help, even when you were certain it meant you’d get sent away. You’re a good person, no matter what you think.”

  I buried my face in Amaya’s hair in a poor attempt to hide my tears. “I love you. Both of you.”

  There was a loud squeak as Alda’s hands disappeared from mine, and I looked up to find her staring at her feet with bright red cheeks. A moment later, she dove forward and embraced both of us. Amaya and I both laughed, and I pressed my forehead against hers, attempting to hold the moment in my mind with every fiber of my being. Whether it was real or not didn’t matter; I knew it was most likely the only chance I would ever ha
ve to be together with both of them at once, and I planned to never forget the feeling.

  As with all things, the moment eventually ended. From behind us, the amber light had grown bright enough to dispel the darkness around us, and I heard Lia’s voice coming from somewhere inside. “Please, come back. Please come back, Elden.”

  “I think that’s your cue,” Amaya said, wiping a tear from my cheek. “Time to put on your brave face, love. The hero always has to look brave.”

  “Right,” I chuckled, breaking away from the group to attempt to compose myself. After clearing my throat and taking a few deep breaths I managed to gain a tenuous level of control over my emotions, and I looked determinedly between Alda and Amaya. “Time to go.”

  They both nodded and smiled, separating enough for me to walk between them towards the overflowing amber light ahead. As I moved further into its depths, the welcoming sensation of Lia’s aura surrounded me and eagerly pulled me forward. A loving warmth suffused through me, and I began to feel brief flashes of my true body: cold stone against the back of my neck, Lia’s hands clasping desperately onto my own, and the ache of every overused muscle.

  I glanced back over my shoulder for one final look at my lost family and found them standing hand in hand. Alda stood up on her tiptoes and gave me a small wave goodbye, which I returned with a grin. My eyes moved up and locked with Amaya’s, and we shared a long, silent stare.

  “Forever,” I said, far too quietly to be heard.

  “Forever,” her lips said in return.

  With renewed resolve, I turned back to the now overwhelming light and took another step. “I’m coming back, Lia,” I whispered to the energy as it completely engulfed me. “I’ve got a promise to keep.”

  ***

  16. DAWN

  The unceremonious return of all of my bodily senses was a shock to my system, and I opened my eyes with a panicked gasp. My sudden breath startled Lia, who had apparently fallen asleep on my chest; she blinked at me a few times in confusion, then dove back onto my chest with joy as the scene before her finally registered. Her weight squished me into the stone floor and caused an involuntary groan to escape my lips, but the pain brought a smile to my face. I guess I really am alive.

  She looped her arms beneath mine and held herself up on her forearms in a generous attempt to alleviate my discomfort. “I don’t understand,” she said, her face hovering a few inches above mine. “Are you...are you really back?” Her eyes began to well up with tears, even as the smile remained radiant on her face.

  “Yeah,” I said with a strained nod, “I think I am.”

  Lia let out a sharp laugh, as if she still couldn’t believe it even as I spoke to her. “How?”

  “I was wrong.” It was the first time the statement had felt relieving to say. “I was wrong about the Dominion, about the Strategist, about why we’re even here...I was wrong about everything.” Smiling, I reached up and held the side of her face. “Plus, I couldn’t leave before we had a chance to go on all of our adventures, right?”

  A tear fell down onto my cheek as she nodded her head. “That’s right.” She lowered herself down from her elbows and gave me a quick kiss, then nuzzled her head into my neck. “I didn’t want to believe you were gone. There was this...I’m not sure what it was exactly, some sort of spark that was still inside of you after your body, uhm, died, I guess? Everything felt so strange, but I thought that maybe, if I kept talking to you, you would hear me and come back.” She shifted her weight and buried her face further against my neck, her voice taking on a timid quality when she eventually continued. “I know it sounds silly, but—”

  “It’s not silly, Lia,” I comforted her, wrapping her in my arms and squeezing her tightly. “I can’t say for certain where I went, but wherever it was, I heard you calling to me. You brought me back.”

  The familiar footfalls of Val’s heavy boots rushed across the council chamber towards us. At the sight of my head turning towards her approach, her face softened in relief, and a wide smile spread across her face. “Lux, I thought—” She froze as Lia and I came into full view, then turned her head away. “I apologize if I am interrupting.”

  “Not at all,” I said jovially from my place sprawled out on the floor. “What happened while I was...otherwise preoccupied? Bring me up to speed.”

  “Of course. I have taken the Strategist into my custody and interrogated him. In exchange for the promise of a fair trial, he has agreed to address his men at daybreak and call off the operation. The Company men will be allowed to board their ships unaccosted, should they do so immediately and without resistance, and the Unbound will be forgiven of any crimes committed during the occupation.” She paused as Lia shifted to the side and helped me up to a sitting position more fitting for a conversation. “Kaldan will offer support in reestablishing the Attetsian Council through a fair election, which should appease some of the rebels’ concerns.”

  “That’s a good plan,” I said with a thoughtful nod. “Anything else of note?”

  Val tapped her chin. “Two groups of Unbound soldiers arrived to investigate, most likely patrol groups that followed our trail here. Both surrendered without a fight after they came to understand the situation.” She looked to Lia for any additional input, then back to me. “Otherwise, it was a peaceful evening, all things considered.”

  “Glad to hear it.” I pulled myself up to my feet and stretched my shoulders in a tight circle, eliciting a loud pop from each side. “Now, where’s the Strategist? I’ve got some questions for him as well.”

  She motioned down to the first row of wooden benches on the assembly floor, where our prisoner sat with his wrists and ankles chained. “He has been less forthcoming with information since our battle concluded.” I moved to approach him, but Val stepped back and blocked my path. “Lux, wait. I...have something to say. To both of you.”

  I stopped and raised an eyebrow at her with a mix of curiosity and trepidation before I nodded for her to proceed. She closed her eyes and tipped her head back, letting out a long sigh before she spoke. “I owe you both a great debt. You took decisive action and performed admirably in the face of great danger while I failed in my duties entirely. I would most certainly be dead if not for you.” Although her face and voice held their usual neutral quality, I saw a misty shimmer forming in her eyes. “It is a failure I do not take lightly.”

  “Don’t beat yourself up over it, Val,” I said, clapping her on the shoulder. “Nobody could blame you for what happened. There’s no way you could’ve been prepared for what he told you.”

  She gave me a small nod. “Yes. His lies were very convincing, but it is no excuse for my inaction.”

  My brow furrowed as I withdrew my hand. “How do you know they were lies? Did he confess when you questioned him?”

  “I do not need to question him to know his words were false,” she replied, folding her arms across her chest. “The Strategist will say whatever is necessary to gain the upper hand.”

  “By that line of logic, he could have just as easily been telling you the truth about King Virram. Even though it revealed all of his secret scheming, it was the most effective thing he could’ve done to make you lose your focus.” I took a breath in an effort to resist my growing frustration. “I know it would be hard to accept, but don’t you think you should at least consider the possibility that he was telling the truth?”

  “No,” Val replied bluntly, “I do not.”

  I blinked at her silently, partially stunned by her stubbornness. I don’t need another fight right now. “Alright then,” I said eventually, walking away from the conversation without a backwards glance. My intended destination was an audience with the Strategist, but I took a moment to kneel at the edge of the platform when I passed by Solette’s body. I couldn’t help but feel a small twinge of remorse, despite the fact that she had intended to kill us. We could have learned a lot from you, had we met in different circumstances.

  A faint glimmer caught my eye as I turned t
o leave, and I pulled back the large cuff of her sleeve to find the diamond orb still clasped in her cold fingers. I retrieved it with a hard tug, wincing as her arm jerked upwards before falling back to the floor with a dull thud. The surface of the orb was perfectly smooth and clear, and I could see the flickering torchlight around us bent into wild patterns by its fractal core. Just beneath my fingertips, I could feel the presence of Solette’s mana flowing in lazy, aimless circles.

  Despite the abundance of questions that filled my head all at once as I stared longingly at the orb, I subdued the curiosity and shoved the gem away into a pouch on my belt. Magic study can wait. The Strategist can’t. I descended the steps and crossed to where he sat, bound and gagged in the front row bench. Crouching down to his eye level, I pulled the tight band of cloth out of his mouth. “So,” I started, giving him a careful once over, “how’ve you been?”

  He raised an eyebrow and stared back at me, returning the assessment. “Not well, I’m afraid. Your royal companion does not have the gentlest bedside manner. Rough hands, cold eyes, no sense of humor; I’m sure you’re familiar with it.” He shifted to a more upright position with a pained grunt. “I think she may have sprained my finger in the process of tying my hands behind my back.”

  I sucked in my breath empathetically. “Oh, I’m sorry to hear that.” There was a long moment of silence as we continued to size each other up, which ended abruptly when I punched him square in the nose. He reeled back with a shout, squirming helplessly as he tried in vain to lessen the pain. I leaned in and put a hand on his shoulder, speaking softly enough that only he could hear me. “Unfortunately for you, she will be the friendliest face you see during your stay with us. You may want to apologize for the things you said to her earlier.”