by SJ McCoy
Logan smiled at him. “And now I’ve given you something to chew on, I’d better get doing. See you around. I’ll give you a call next time everyone’s getting together. Invite the two of you along.”
“Thanks.” Ivan sat down on the weight bench. He didn’t think he’d have a problem staying here, but Logan was right—he should probably be sure about it before he and Abbie went all in.
~ ~ ~
“You’ve been very quiet this morning. Did things go well yesterday?”
Abbie nodded happily. “They did, Mom. They went even better than I thought they might.”
“So, am I going to be seeing more of Ivan—and less of you—around here?”
That wiped the smile off her face. “I hope you’ll be seeing more of Ivan, but you won’t be seeing any less of me. I’m here for you, Mom.”
Her mom waved a hand. “Don’t be silly, love. Of course, that’s the way it’ll go. When you meet someone, you spend a lot of time with them. You could have stayed there last night, you know. You didn’t need to come back here.”
Abbie wanted to tell her that she shouldn’t have stayed with a guy on their first real date, regardless of whether she needed to get home to her mom or not. But that would be just too hypocritical. She and Ivan hadn’t needed the whole night to have all the sex they wanted. “Maybe I’ll stay over at his place at some point. But this is just the beginning for us, Mom. I don’t know if it’ll even work out.”
“I do. I really think he’s the one for you, Abbie. And I couldn’t be happier.”
Abbie sighed.
“What’s wrong?”
“Honestly? I hope he’s the one. But I don’t want to rush this. You have to remember that only a couple of days ago, I was telling myself that he couldn’t be the one because he wasn’t suitable.”
“No, you need to forget that. You’ve come to your senses—I’m very glad to see. And now that you have, you need to get on with it. He’s lovely. He likes you a lot. You like him a lot. All I’m saying is that I’m glad you’ve figured out that you need to follow your heart instead of all that doing what you think is the right thing. I hope you won’t take much longer to come to your senses about the rest of it, too.”
“The rest of what?”
“Come on, Abbs. You don’t need to stay here with me forever—you don’t have to stay another minute if you don’t want to. I’m grateful that you came back and for all that you’ve done. But you’ve done enough. I need to get back on my own feet, and you need to find yours.”
Abbie stared at her.
She laughed. “I’m not saying I want you gone or anything, but I am asking you to stop using me as an excuse.”
“An excuse?”
“Yes. It’s time for you to figure out what you want in life and go after it—instead of saying that you can’t because you have to put me first. I’m officially releasing you of any obligation to your poor old mom.”
“It’s not an obligation. I want to help you.”
“And you have helped me. I couldn’t have gotten through without you. But now, it’s time for the next step.”
Abbie blew out a sigh. “I don’t want to let you down again.”
“You won’t. You never did. You made some mistakes, but that’s called being human. We never thought any less of you. You never let us down. I’m so proud of you, proud of the way you’ve turned your life around. But everything you’ve done has been for me, not for yourself. It’s time to make Abbie happy now.”
“Making Abbie happy was what took me to the city and messed my life up.”
“That was the younger, wilder Abbie who didn’t know any better. Now you do. Now you can make better choices. And that’s enough. I’m not going to keep harping on about it. Just know that I love you. And what will make me happy is seeing you happy—truly happy.”
“Thanks, Mom. I love you.” Abbie leaned in to hug her.
“I love you, too.”
“And thanks for coming with me this morning.”
Abbie nodded. Sometimes her mom went to the cemetery by herself, but this morning, she’d asked Abbie to go with her. That was way more important to her than a tentative plan to go over to Ivan’s. No matter what her mom might say, for things like that, she would always come first.
“Are you seeing Ivan today?”
“Maybe later. I said I’d call him around lunchtime.”
Her mom smiled. “Well, if the two of you don’t have any other plans, I’m ready for that Christmas tree whenever you want to pick one up.”
“Okay. I’ll ask if he wants to help get one.”
“Only if you don’t have other plans.”
Abbie smiled. “We don’t.”
~ ~ ~
Ivan took hold of Abbie’s hand as they wandered around the Christmas tree lot. It made him smile to watch her examine all of the trees. She was as eager as a little kid.
“What do you think of this one?”
He chuckled. “I’d have to say that to me, it looks just like all the others.”
She gave him a disbelieving look. “You can’t be serious? You’re not telling me that you can’t see the difference between that tall scraggly one over there and this one which is perfectly shaped?”
“That’s exactly what I’m telling you. All I see is a bunch of trees. Granted, it’s obvious that some of them are taller than the others, but other than that, I wouldn’t have a clue.”
She frowned at him. “Didn’t you have a Christmas tree as a kid?”
“Yeah. At least, for a few years, we did. But it was a plastic one. You know, one of those that comes with the lights already part of it?”
“Aww. You poor thing. You didn’t ever know the magic of a real Christmas tree?”
“Until now, I didn’t know there was any magic to a real Christmas tree.”
She laughed. “Well, now, you do. See this one?”
He nodded.
“This one is very special. Look at the shape; it’s perfectly proportioned.”
He let his gaze rove over her. “I can appreciate perfect proportions.”
She pushed at his arm. “Focus! I’m serious. This is important. Your education in life has been seriously lacking to this point if you don’t know about Christmas trees. I am trying to educate you. I’m trying to do you a favor.”
He waggled his eyebrows at her. “If you want to do me a favor, you can give me a rundown on perfect proportions when we get back to my place.”
She gave him a stern look. “How could I sleep with a guy who doesn’t appreciate a good Christmas tree?”
He laughed. “I can think of a few ways, but since I’m getting the idea that you’re actually serious about this, I’ll save them for later. Go ahead, educate my sorry ass about the magic of Christmas trees.”
“Okay, this one is about as perfect as it can get. Now I’ll show you some that aren’t. You need to know what won’t work for you so that you can recognize what will when you find it.”
She was talking about Christmas trees, but he saw the parallel with finding a partner. “That might be the way it works for you, but the way I see it, why would I bother looking at any more when I know I found the perfect one?”
“Because if you don’t know any better, you might think the wrong one is perfect.”
He closed his arms around her waist and dropped a kiss on her lips. “But I wasn’t even looking, and the perfect one landed in my lap. I don’t want to look at any more.”
She searched his face, finally understanding what he was getting at. “But what about next year? You’ll need to get another one next year.”
He smiled. “That’s not the way I work. Remember, I grew up with an artificial tree. Once you find one of those, you get to keep it forever.”
“Can I help you?”
“Yes.” Ivan smiled at the guy who was running the lot. “I’ll show you the one I want.”
He went back to the tree Abbie had described as perfect and pointed at it. “This is the
one.” He looked at Abbie to check, and she smiled.
“You have a good eye. This one is a beauty,” said the guy.
Ivan winked at Abbie. “What can I say? I have good taste.”
“I hope you don’t mind paying for what you like. This one is a hundred bucks.”
Ivan pulled his wallet out of his pocket.
Abbie shook her head rapidly and pulled out her purse.
“Please let me?” asked Ivan. “I’d like to do this for your mom.”
She made a face. “You don’t need to do that.”
“I know, but I want to. I like that she asked me to help get one. I especially like that she’s been on my side since the beginning. If you don’t mind, I’d like to do this.” A thought struck him. “But I won’t push it if it’s something special that you want to do for her.”
“No, it’s not that. I just don’t want you to feel like you have to.”
The guy smiled at them. “Let him buy you the tree, lady. If a guy can win brownie points with his mother-in-law over the holidays, you don’t stand in the way of that.”
Ivan half expected her to correct the guy, to tell him that they weren’t married, but she just smiled and nodded. “Thank you.”
The guy sent one of his assistants to help Ivan get the tree tied on top of his car. Once it was secured and the guy had gone, Abbie came to him and stood on her tiptoes to plant a kiss on his cheek.
“That was so sweet of you. Thank you.”
“I need you to understand that I’m telling the truth when I say it really is my pleasure. I know Christmas will be rough for your mom.” He frowned. “I’m sorry, sweetie, I guess it will be hard on you too. You’re always so focused on how your mom feels, but you have your own feelings to deal with as well.”
She shrugged. “If you want to know the truth, I just feel guilty. Of course, I’m sad. I miss him. It kills me that I hadn’t seen him for a while before he died. But it’s Mom's feelings that matter. I don’t deserve —"
He put a finger to her lips and slipped his other arm around her waist and pulled her closer. “I’m not usually a bossy guy, but I will tell you I don’t want to hear you say those three words again.”
“Which three words?”
“You said you don’t deserve.”
“But you didn’t even let me finish the sentence. You don’t know what I was going to say.”
“It doesn’t matter what you were going to say. There’s nothing you could say that would make that sentence true. I’ve told you before, and I’ll tell you again, you deserve the world, Abbie.”
She buried her face in his chest, and he hugged her close.
“It’s true; I’m not just saying it. You need to believe it.”
She looked up into his eyes. “That first night, when we went for a drink, you offered to be my friend and to help me chase the blues away when I was feeling down. At the time, I thought you just wanted an in, an open door for a one-nighter when I was feeling down. I couldn’t have been more wrong about you, could I?”
He smiled. “Maybe, at the time, you weren’t entirely wrong. But now, I need you to know that I want to be here for you, no matter what.”
She looked into his eyes, and he could feel a change in her. If she didn’t believe him, she wanted to. And maybe she relaxed just a little, accepting that he had her back.
Chapter Thirteen
When they got back to the house, Abbie’s mom greeted her with a smile. “Did you find one?”
Abbie nodded happily. “We did, and it’s perfect, Mom. You’re going to love it.”
Her mom looked up the path to where Ivan was untying the tree from his car. “Oh, wow! It’s a big one. Do you think we need to go and give him a hand with it?”
“He said he’s fine.” She chuckled. “I think it’s a guy thing. You know? He needs to do it by himself and not need the help of a little lady.”
Her mom chuckled with her. “Oh, I do know. I know all too well. Your dad was exactly the same. My job was to pick out the tree but getting it home and getting it set up that was all down to him.”
Abbie could tell she was getting upset. Her eyes were shiny, and she clasped her hands together.
“Well, you might want to stay here in case he needs a hand, but even if he does, I’m sure he won’t want both of us. I’ll go inside and make us some hot chocolate.”
Abbie wanted to go after her, but she knew better. She needed a moment to compose herself before Ivan came in.
She turned back to check on him. It didn’t look like he was going to need any help at all. He already had the tree over his shoulder and was heading toward the gate. She rushed up the path to open it for him before he got there.
“Thanks. Is your mom okay?”
“She’ll be fine. She’s making some hot chocolate.”
“Great. Where am I going with this thing? Do you want it in the living room?”
“Yes, please. You might just have to lean it in the corner for now. I didn’t think. I should have set up the little table that we put it on.”
“We can figure that out.” He adjusted it on his shoulder. “The first thing is to get it in there.”
Abbie was surprised to see that her mom had set the table up. She’d even gotten the skirt out and the decorations, too.
Ivan set the tree down and leaned it against the wall. “You have to remember that I’ve never dealt with one of these before. Do I just stick it in that bucket?”
She laughed. “That’s the idea.”
He had the tree set up, and she was arranging the skirt over the bucket and the table by the time her mom came into the living room. She looked like she’d recovered a little. Abbie could tell that she’d been crying, but she didn’t imagine Ivan would notice.
“That’s wonderful! Thank you so much. I hope you like hot chocolate. I know it’s not much in the way of a thank you, but it’s the first and most immediate thing I do.”
Ivan smiled at her. “I love hot chocolate, thank you. I haven’t had it since I was a kid.”
“Aww.” Abbie looked at him. “You’re just a poor Christmas deprived soul, aren’t you?”
He made a face at her. “I guess I might be, by your standards. But if it’s any consolation, I never felt like I was missing out on anything.”
“I should have warned you that Abbie is a bit of a Christmas nut,” said her mom. “In fact, I’m surprised to see you both back so soon. I thought she’d have you out there all afternoon in search of the perfect one.”
Her words reminded Abbie of the way Ivan had talked about finding the perfect one. She smiled at him. “I found it pretty much straight away. I just couldn’t believe I was that lucky. I was going to look around to make sure, but Ivan was smart enough to show me that there was no need.”
The smile on his face told her he understood what she was trying to tell him. Her mom looked as though she understood as well.
“That’s great,” she said. “I’ll go and get us that hot chocolate. Would you like some cookies, too?” She raised an eyebrow at Ivan.
He nodded rapidly. “Yes, please.”
“I’ll be right back.”
Once she’d gone, Abbie went to him and kissed his cheek. “Thank you.”
“I told you, it’s my pleasure.”
“I don’t mean about paying for the tree. I mean for helping me figure out that when I find the perfect one, I should try to keep him.”
He looked surprised that she said it so openly, but he’d been open with her—and patient, too, now she came to think about it. How many guys would have been as cool as he was that she’d chosen to go on a date with someone else? And if he hadn’t been so open with her last night—about wanting to see where things could go between them, she’d still be second-guessing everything he said—thinking that he wasn’t interested in her as anything more than a booty call.
“You don’t know if he’s perfect yet.”
She smiled. “I have a pretty good idea, and the rest wi
ll only come with time.”
He smiled. “I’m far from perfect, Abbie. I hope when you discover the flaws that they’re not too much for you to deal with.”
“I doubt that.” She stepped away from him when her mom came back into the room, carrying a tray.
“Here, let me get that.” Ivan took it from her before Abbie could offer. He set it down on the coffee table.
Abbie’s mom smiled at her. “Good-looking and a gentleman, too. I like him, Abbs.”
Abbie laughed, hoping that he wouldn’t mind. She needn’t have worried.
He waved a hand at her mom. “Aww, shucks. You’ll go giving me a big head.”
Her mom smiled. “I can already tell that you’re not one to do that. Have a seat. You’ve worked hard getting that thing in here.”
He sat on the sofa, and Abbie shooed her mom to the chair by the fire. “You sit down, too.” She gave them both their drinks and then offered the cookies around.
“Mmm.” Ivan groaned as he bit into his. “You have to tell me where to get these. They’re amazing. Are they from the bakery?”
Her mom laughed. “Good-looking, a gentleman, and smart, too? You just keep getting better.”
He frowned. “You mean I guessed right? They’re from the bakery?”
“No,” said Abbie. “She thinks I must have told you that she bakes her own cookies and that you’re smart for flattering her.”
“Oh!” He grinned. “If I’d known, that’s exactly what I would have done. But …” He grinned at his cookie. “I had no idea, and it’s the best cookie I’ve ever had.”
Her mom smiled at him. “Flattery will get you a long way with me. I’ll be baking all the time between now and Christmas, so I hope you’ll keep coming back for more.”
He smiled at Abbie. “You won’t be able to keep me away.”
Abbie laughed. “Now, I’ll never know if it’s me you want or just the cookies.”
“I think we all know the answer to that one,” said her mom.
Ivan nodded happily.
It felt strange to Abbie, but strange in a good way that now, they did all know that Ivan was here because he wanted to be with her—and that he wasn’t afraid to make that known. She cast a glance at him and then at her mom, and at that moment, she decided that she needed to be as honest as he was being.