by Fiona Riley
Emerson ate a little more to take the edge off the hunger. “I’m really thankful I met you. I was just thinking about the night we first crossed paths.”
“The night of Grandma Ginny’s famed wolf whistle.” Hayley nodded.
“Right.” Emerson took a bite of the grilled chicken. It was delicious. “You know, I almost didn’t go that night. I nearly backed out of the presenting gig.”
“Really?” Hayley asked.
“Really. Rachel’s statement nearly spooked me off. I didn’t think I could face the media.” She finished her plate and set it aside. “But if I hadn’t gone that night, we wouldn’t be sitting here right now. And I wouldn’t trade this for anything.”
Hayley blinked.
“What I’m saying is, I’m glad things worked out the way they did. And I guess that surprises me a little. That’s what I was thinking about when you asked me.”
Hayley put her plate aside and turned toward Emerson. “You’re surprised that you’re enjoying your time with me?”
“What? No.” Emerson leaned forward to touch Hayley’s hand. “Not at all. No, I’m surprised because this”—she motioned between them—“makes all that seem less daunting. I didn’t expect to find peace in myself with you. But I do. I feel whole and happy and I know that I probably shouldn’t because of the mess that exists outside this door, lurking in LA, waiting to pounce on me when I return. But I’m not worried about it for some reason. And you lit a fire and gave me a blanket and you’re kind of perfect.”
Hayley gave her a shy smile. “Sometimes I think this is all a dream.”
Emerson reached out to touch her cheek. “It’s not. But I know what you mean.”
Hayley leaned forward and kissed her, and Emerson was grateful again.
As much as it pained her to stifle the moment, Emerson knew she had to take the courage she felt in that instant to talk to Hayley. Really talk to her. It was time.
She pulled back and closed her eyes with a sigh. “I wasn’t entirely honest with you earlier.”
She heard Hayley shift on the couch in front of her. “Oh?”
Emerson opened her eyes to see Hayley regarding her curiously. “Before, when I said things were complicated and that I wasn’t fighting back against Rachel and the media because of the movie and the studio and whatever, well, that’s all true, but that’s not the real reason I haven’t engaged her.”
“It’s not?” Hayley leaned back and positioned herself against the armrest of the couch. “Then why?”
Emerson reached for her phone and opened her photos. She picked her favorite picture of her sister and her family. She handed the phone to Hayley and pointed to the smiling faces. “This is my sister Dee and her husband Tom. This little guy is Alex, he’s a total charmer and schmoozer, the world isn’t gonna be able to handle him when he’s older. And this”—her finger hovered over Rory—“this is my daughter, Rory.”
Chapter Twenty-one
Hayley wasn’t sure she’d heard Emerson right. Her eyes jumped from the preteen on the screen up to Emerson’s face and back again. Did Emerson just say she had a daughter? She could see the clear resemblance, right down to the stunning color of Rory’s eyes, but that couldn’t be, could it? Was Emerson even old enough to have…“A daughter?”
Emerson nodded. “A daughter. Who is also my niece but was my daughter first.”
Hayley was shocked. No, that wasn’t right. She was completely blindsided. And hot. Was it hot in here? She felt a little faint. She glanced at the fireplace and realized it was blazing too strongly for her to handle with this new information. “Hold on a second.”
She strode over to the fireplace and partly closed the flue, keeping the fire low but still alive so that the room wasn’t so warm. When she rejoined Emerson on the couch, she made it a point to put some space between them. She didn’t want any distractions for this next part. “I’m going to need you to explain a bit.”
Emerson looked at the space between them and a sadness settled across her face. “Yeah. That’s fair.” She ran her hand through her hair.
“I was fifteen when I had too much to drink at a party and had unprotected sex with my then boyfriend. He drove home drunk from the party and got into a bad one-car accident. He didn’t survive. Luckily, I didn’t get into the car that night. Unluckily, I got pregnant.” She frowned.
Hayley nodded because she didn’t know what else to do or say. Nodding felt safe.
Emerson continued, “I was too young to be a good parent, but I found out too late to make the decision to terminate. Not that I think I could have, but the choice wasn’t mine any longer. So I had Rory and I was just shy of sixteen. I struggled in those days. I was in the peak of my juvenile television and movie career and I’d kept my pregnancy and delivery a secret in hopes of not derailing what I’d worked for my entire childhood: my fame. But I was miserable and out of control. Later we found out I had postpartum depression, but at the time everyone thought I was just an angry teenager lashing out. My manager, at the time, insisted I get into anger management therapy—you saw how that turned out.”
“Ah, the burning car thing.” Hayley remembered their conversation earlier.
Emerson shrugged. “I had rage.” She continued, “I was a mess. Deidre took me in and helped me take care of Rory. When it became apparent that I couldn’t take care of myself, let alone a child, we started looking into adoption options. And we almost went through with it, until Deidre sat me down and asked me to give Rory to her. She was seven years older and she had a normal life and a normal job and a fiancé, Tom, I’d known for years. It seemed like the perfect solution. We could keep Rory in the family and make sure she was cared for and raised by someone that loved her, but I wouldn’t have to be the burden of a terrible parent to a kid who had the chance at a better life with someone else. Anyone who wasn’t me.”
Emerson sighed. “I was selfish and young, and I’d made bad decision after bad decision. But having Rory and giving custody of her to Deidre was the best decision I’d ever made. She had a real chance at happiness with Deidre. We all did.”
Hayley was stunned. She tried to picture herself at sixteen. She’d been a rebellious mess with no direction and a penchant for heavy, dark eyeliner. She wasn’t fit to be a parent. She wasn’t even fit to pass her driver’s test—that took four tries. She couldn’t fathom the difficulty of having to choose a path for someone so small and so helpless when Emerson was still very much a child herself. “I had no idea.”
Emerson watched the dwindling fire for a bit before responding. “I made a promise to Deidre on the day I relinquished custody that I would never interfere with her raising Rory. I had such immense relief on that day. A relief that I wasn’t the sole provider for Rory, and a relief that Deidre didn’t want me to be anything more than a fun aunt.” She looked at Hayley and her expression was pained. “Deidre and I look enough alike that we thought we’d never have to address the issue of biology. We agreed to never tell Rory, unless it was medically necessary or a question of life or death.
“Deidre and Tom got married shortly after Rory was born. Tom had been supportive of the idea all along, and he’s raised Rory as his own. After a few years of trying, they had Alex, but not without difficulty.” She frowned and looked away. “For eleven and a half wonderful years, Rory had the best family she could ask for. She had two amazingly loving and supportive parents, an annoying little brother, and a famous aunt who spoiled her rotten but kept her out of the public eye. All that changed when Rachel figured out the connection. The bubble burst and nothing has been the same since.”
A million thoughts raced through her head in that moment, but the urge to comfort Emerson was undeniable. Hayley reached out and placed her hand on Emerson’s thigh.
Emerson looked up at her and gave her a small smile. She traced the skin on the back of Hayley’s hand and she exhaled slowly. “We made the decision to tell Rory the truth before she read about it on TMZ. That’s why I had to go out of t
own before this trip to Boston. Having that conversation with her and my sister’s family was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do. It was awful. And devastating. And life altering. She took it better than I expected, but it’s far from over. There’s still much to be done and said.”
Hayley wondered if that was why Emerson had seemed so stressed at the ADR session and why she was so emotional about talking about Rachel in the hotel last night. That show of vulnerability was what had moved Hayley to kiss her. She had felt so honored to be able to see that side of Emerson, a side she knew didn’t see the light of day very often. A part of her felt hurt that Emerson had waited until now to share this with her, but maybe she’d given her as much as she could.
“Rachel and I were never meant to be anything more than what we were. It was short and fast and passionate, and the relationship should have fizzled out with time, but Rachel napalmed it instead. What I said to you all along was true—Rachel’s jealousy over celebrity and her perception that I was more liked than her led to the end of our relationship. What I didn’t mention to you was that Rachel got David drunk one night and needled him for information about me, and he said something about how important my niece was to me and focused her attention on the topic. Then, a little while later, Rory and Deidre visited me on set during school vacation, and Rachel saw Rory’s resemblance to me when she was fooling around with some of Willow’s character makeup. I didn’t even know she’d made the connection or had the conversation with David until after we’d broken up and she threatened to tell the world about it. I was so stunned that she’d unearthed our secret that I didn’t deny it fast enough and Rachel claimed victory.”
“That’s why you haven’t responded to the rumors about your breakup.” Hayley finally realized why Emerson never fought back against Rachel in the media.
“She’s building a case to make herself appear to be the victim, but I know she’s intending to drop the bomb about Rory any day now. Part of me assumed she would do it closer to the release of the film, as a way to attempt to ruin my career and the movie’s release. But she’s been escalating in her attacks lately.”
“So she’s blackmailing you to keep quiet.” Hayley was working this out as they went.
“She’s a peach, isn’t she?” Emerson said sarcastically. “She knows I want to keep it a secret, but she also had gambled and lost. By losing her role in Willow Path, she was on the rebound and needed a boost to bring her back to relevance. Her tell-all about our relationship is exactly the boost she needed. She can ride the buzz of the film and reinvigorate the rumors surrounding her departure while still managing to look like a victim in the whole scenario. She knows I won’t fight with her or defend myself because Rory’s privacy is at stake. No amount of potential vindication in the press was worth it to me to ruin Rory’s life.”
“Jesus.” Hayley had no idea the Emerson and Rachel thing was so complicated. “Can I just say that I feel like a total ass for challenging you and arguing with you about your relationship with Rachel?”
“How were you to know?” Emerson said. “I told you it was complicated.”
“Understatement of the century.” Hayley felt awful. Her mind was a storm of questions and emotions. But something Emerson just said stuck with her. “What did you mean when you said Rachel was escalating? Were you talking about the Extra interview?”
“No.” Emerson shook her head. “I think she’s responsible for the pictures. I think she’s becoming more aggressive because she’s not happy enough with the response to her mudslinging.”
Hayley’s immediate reaction was anger. She hadn’t been able to shake that feeling of being violated since that picture of her and Emerson in the trailer surfaced. She’d been silently worrying that more was coming. This new information from Emerson made that seem inevitable. She was afraid of what that meant for her. And for Emerson.
Hayley took the hand Emerson had been cradling on her lap and reached out to stroke along Emerson’s cheek. Emerson was being honest and vulnerable with her, and she felt like she should match it. “I’ve never felt as violated in my life as I did when that picture came out today. It scared me a little.”
Emerson nodded and pressed Hayley’s hand to her face. “I know. I’m so sorry about that.”
Hayley rubbed her thumb along Emerson’s cheekbone. “It wasn’t your fault.”
Emerson leaned back, and Hayley missed touching her skin. “It is, though. This is the life, Hayley. There are casualties in this business, and privacy and, sometimes, security are some of them. Rory deserved to be whoever she wanted to be without anyone telling her otherwise. But her relationship to me means she’s a target. And you are, too. I can’t protect you from anything outside these walls, Hayley. I can’t.”
“You don’t have to.” Hayley was no damsel in distress. She didn’t need a handler.
Emerson gave her a sad smile. “But I do. That’s the hard part. I kinda do. Because without me, this wouldn’t be happening to you. That’s the theme here. I bring bad things to people’s lives.”
Hayley disagreed with her, but she didn’t see the point in arguing right now. She had more important things to work out. “So, what now?”
Emerson’s shoulders drooped, and she looked a little lost. “Now we pull the trigger and cut Rachel off at the pass. I need you to write about Rachel in the piece about me. And I need you to talk about Rory.”
Hayley blinked. “You want me to talk about Rory? Are you sure?”
Emerson shrugged. “She’s part of the narrative, Hay. She’s the most important part. She always has been. My family and I can’t live in fear of Rachel pulling the rug out from under us. We need to get on the offensive. I need to tell my side of the story, all of it. And I need you to write it for me.”
There it was. All of it. Emerson needed her. She needed her to clear the air and break what would probably be the biggest story of Hayley’s career. She should have been more stressed out by that, but her mind went back to last night.
Her face must have shown her feelings because Emerson’s response was tentative. “Are you okay with that?”
“Uh, yeah.” Hayley hadn’t begun to process her feelings about that just yet. “About last night…”
Emerson gave her a knowing frown. “You’re second-guessing last night.”
“Should I?” Hayley didn’t want to. She didn’t want to second-guess last night or earlier today or tonight on the couch when Emerson kissed her and this all felt too good to be true. She didn’t want any of this to be too good to be true. Not the part where she and Emerson had a connection that felt electric. She hadn’t felt this way about someone, well, ever. And she wasn’t ready to give that up just yet.
Emerson scooted toward her and cupped her face with her hands. “No. You shouldn’t. Hayley, I can be free and vulnerable with you in a way I’ve never been with anyone before. I’m not sure what this information will do once it’s out in the world, but I can promise you that I’m willing to take the leap if you’re with me. I don’t just want you to write this article, Hay. I want you. Just you. And if that’s too much to handle, then I totally get it but—”
Hayley kissed her because words seemed too hard and not enough. “It’s not too much to handle”—she motioned between them—“but this space is.”
Emerson smiled and slid into her arms, cuddling close. Hayley was relieved to see joy return to her face. That beautiful face. The face she dreamed about and couldn’t believe shone brightly for her, like it had over and over these past few months. She didn’t know what the future held, but if that beautiful face smiled at her that way, then she could figure it out.
Chapter Twenty-two
Waking up next to Hayley felt like coming home. Hayley slept soundly on her side, her breathing a gentle rhythmic lull that kept Emerson in bed longer than her body wanted to stay. The lingering jet lag and time change pulled at her mind and made her body want to be restless, but Hayley’s warmth and her soft exhales of slumber made her s
nuggle closer and ignore her momentary discomfort. Soon she dozed, her arms wrapped around Hayley, keeping her close. Only when she awoke hours later, with the undeniable urge to pee, did she leave the bed. And that was a freaking emergency. But she was greeted with the most incredible day just waiting for her. The sun was shining, the trees were a vibrant green, and the lake, God, that lake, it spoke to her. She had to go to it.
She tiptoed back to the bedroom to find some pants and a robe or something, but when she saw Hayley’s plaid shirt poking out from her suitcase, she took it. It was her favorite shirt after all.
She stepped out onto the porch and breathed in deeply. The air was clean and fresh. The sky was blue and cloudless, and the lake was calm, save for a few ripples at the small wooden wharf at the edge of the cabin’s yard. She walked across the soft grass and stepped gingerly on bare feet to the end of the pier. A few houses spotted the lake’s edge, but for the most part it was empty and untouched. The nearest neighboring wharf was far enough away that Emerson couldn’t even see the house it belonged to, just a faint dark blob in the distance. She wondered if any of those belonged to the dairy farm Hayley had mentioned before. Could dairy farms be on lakes? She had no idea, but she knew Hayley would tell her if she asked. Hayley would tell her anything. And she knew she could do the same, which was evidenced by how surprisingly easy it had been to tell her about Rory last night. Still, she was a little scared about the unknown that awaited their future. Both hers and Rory’s and hers and Hayley’s. This was a big burden to put on someone. She knew that.
She lowered herself to the edge of the pier and dipped her feet into the cool, clear water below. She had some guilt about being here. About running from her responsibilities. She knew there was a shitstorm brewing back in LA and was confident that TMZ or Buzzfeed had run pictures of her and Hayley doing more than just talking. That picture of them was set off to the right, so her only hope was the partially closed bedroom door had afforded them some privacy since they’d never made it into the bedroom. Not that she even knew what privacy was anymore, but Hayley still did. And she was worried about what this would do to her. She’d been following Hayley’s career closely since they’d met and agreed to work together. Drake was dragging her every chance he got, even going as far as calling her a no-talent hack who only got this job interviewing Emerson because something was going on between them. He’d said that before anything was going on between them.