by Fiona Riley
Emerson had inquired about the harassment and how she was doing, but Hayley dismissed her concerns. That photo all but guaranteed she’d be an ongoing target for the paparazzi now. Emerson didn’t think she realized that just yet. She didn’t want to be the one who broke it to her. But she had to, right? Since this was her fault and all.
She closed her eyes in that moment and tried to shut out the noise in her head. She thought of Deidre and Rory and felt guilty all over again. She was hiding, but they were sitting ducks. She blinked her eyes open and looked out at the water in front of her. It would be easy to slip in and drift away. She wouldn’t, but it would be easy. She couldn’t do that to them, though. Or to Hayley.
Hayley. Somewhere along the way Hayley had come to be so much more to her than a reporter or a friend. Somewhere she had become everything, and Emerson hadn’t even realized it had happened. And suddenly, Hayley was there, and she was acutely aware of how much she missed her when she was gone or how much she looked forward to her arriving someplace. And now she was in this perfect paradise and Hayley was just a few hundred feet away, sleeping soundly in the bed they’d shared last night. A night they’d shared that was intimate and wonderful and everything Emerson had needed. Hayley was everything that Emerson needed. Hayley. She was everything.
Emerson sighed. This wasn’t supposed to happen like this. This wasn’t supposed to be so complicated. But then there was kissing and so many feelings and Hayley’s laugh was contagious, and the way she focused when she wrote just consumed Emerson’s thoughts. And then she was naked and soft and perfect. And Emerson fell into her arms like she was pulled by an irresistible and powerful magnet.
She was drawn to Hayley and the pull was getting stronger by the minute. And she liked it. She didn’t want to fight it. She wanted to be happy. She wanted something that she had convinced herself she couldn’t have because of who she was or what people thought they could gain from her. But what she wanted was messy. There was no way around that. It was messy and passionate and life changing, and it was upon her. She was in the midst of it and she wasn’t sure how that made her feel.
She looked out at the lake and let herself get lost in its beauty. She could see why Hayley loved it here. She stayed there for a few moments until her stomach growled. As she walked back toward the house, she noticed the porch furniture for the first time. Breakfast on the porch with one of the many books she’d noticed in the bookcase by the fireplace last night sounded like the perfect way to relax and wait for Hayley to wake up. She could figure out all the big, looming questions and uncertainties later. Right now, she wanted to soak up some of Hayley’s favorite sun, breathe in Hayley’s favorite air, and wait for her favorite, Hayley’s kiss.
* * *
Hayley rolled to her side and blinked as the sunlight shone through the windows. She sighed. It had all been a dream. She’d known it in her soul, but she hadn’t wanted to accept it. But now that she was awake, facing the pending day, there was no hiding from the truth. She’d dreamed it all and as magnificent as it was, it was a figment of her imagination.
She rubbed her eyes and flopped onto her back. She stared up at the slow-moving fan above her and let it ease her into the morning. She slid her hand in along the side of the bed Emerson would have been sleeping on were this not all an amazing hallucination. She found it empty. As was to be expected. But what wasn’t expected was the sheets were in such disarray as to imply that side of the bed had been recently occupied.
She sat up with a start and the sheets fell away from her chest. The coolness of the air caused her nipples to harden under the soft cotton T-shirt she wore over a pair of boy shorts and nothing else. She glanced down to the floor and saw her discarded pants next to Emerson’s impossibly stylish and expensive boots. It wasn’t a dream after all.
She stumbled out of bed toward her suitcase, which sat open on the floor. After a few seconds of digging, she found the comfortable gray sweatpants that she’d packed for her nights in the Boston hotel room. These were her writing pants. She wore them when she had a deadline. They were sort of good luck and a warm hug, all wrapped up into one. She pulled them on and found some socks before she headed out in search of Emerson.
It was early but not too early. She’d missed sunrise on the lake, which saddened her since she wasn’t sure when she’d be back here to experience it again. Being here right now was an unexpected gift. For a multitude of reasons. She knew that.
She exited the bedroom and headed toward the kitchen, pausing to check her hair in the bathroom mirror and freshen up a bit. It was warmer today—she could feel it already by the warmth of the floorboards and the heat coming from off the glass. She doubted it was warm enough to swim, but maybe they could sit outside and soak up some sun. They. What was she doing? What even was all this?
She stopped by the hallway closet and rummaged through some of the clothes she left here for her stays in the cabin. There was no point hefting all these warm winter clothes with her to the City of Angels where it barely got near freezing. She snatched an old sweatshirt off one of the hangers and thanked her overzealous and neurotic mother for washing it recently—it smelled like fresh linen, even though Hayley couldn’t remember the last time she’d worn it.
She slipped it on and padded out to the living room. Still no Emerson in sight. She raked the fireplace to make sure everything was extinguished and made the short trip to the kitchen. That’s where she stood when she second-guessed her level of lucidity again. If this wasn’t a dream, then she never wanted to sleep again because outside the kitchen window sat the most beautiful sight she had ever seen.
Emerson was stretched out across a lounge chair, her head reclined back and her hair a gorgeous, flowing mass over her shoulders. She was wearing Hayley’s plaid shirt again, with a light gray tank top and low-rise jeans that hugged her hips in a way that should be illegal. Her eyes were hidden by dark glasses, but her lips formed a small smile as she read from a book in one hand while holding a cup of something in the other.
Hayley stood there appreciating the peacefulness of the moment. Emerson’s image against the lake and forest in the background was positively stunning. Emerson alone was stunning. But seeing her in the place that held Hayley’s heart? That made her feel something she wasn’t expecting. It made her feel…like Emerson held a piece of her heart as well. Oh, shit. She was falling for Emerson, and somehow, she had foolishly combined her happy place with the mysterious and magnetic woman that was also sort of her happy place, now that she thought of it. Two worlds had collided, and here she was, standing in her grandmother’s kitchen looking out at her two favorite views.
She was so fucked.
She thought about yesterday. Things had shifted from one extreme to the other in seemingly no time at all, and the Rachel revelation was only a blip on the radar. She’d started her day waking up next to Emerson after what very well might have been an incredibly hot one-night stand. But it wasn’t, not really anyway. And a part of her had known that as soon as they were together again in the car on the way to the shoot location. Emerson had been free with her affection, and something about it took the nerves that Hayley had been feeling and released them. She’d felt at ease. So much so that making out with and hooking up with Emerson just a short while later in the trailer didn’t faze her. It felt right. She had the sense that they had both been on the same page for a while now, and that first night in Boston had just opened the door to seemingly endless opportunities.
As she looked out at Emerson now, her heartbeat picked up. She didn’t want to close that door again. She wanted this for a long time. She wanted what was brewing between them to blossom into something more. They should talk. She should make sure Emerson was feeling the same way she did. Last night told her that she was.
After they’d talked about Rory, Emerson had settled against her in an almost vulnerable, fragile way. Hayley did her best to soothe her, to comfort her while her mind tried to unpack all the new information. Emers
on leaned back after a long while and looked at her. She said nothing, but her eyes spoke volumes. And when she answered Emerson’s gaze with a kiss, Emerson kissed her like she needed her. That’s how all the kissing felt, but last night it was so much more. Last night it was breathtaking. Emerson had stolen her breath on that couch. She couldn’t seem to get enough air, and Emerson seemed unquenchable. But it wasn’t for sex. Emerson appeared to want Hayley’s closeness. It was like she wanted her affection. Hayley had tried to make her feel safe and protected. She’d wrapped her in blankets and pressed kiss after kiss to her face, her eyelids, her lips. They’d cuddled on the couch until Emerson fell asleep, and Hayley lay there with the weight of Emerson against her chest, as she watched the embers in the fireplace die out. She stayed like that for a long time until at some point she dozed off herself. When Emerson stirred in her arms, she moved them both to the master bedroom down the hall. She was barely out of her pants before Emerson pulled her under the covers and wrapped herself around her. It felt incredible to be so needed. She savored it. She hoped Emerson could feel how much she had grown to mean to Hayley.
Hayley thought about that now. This feeling wasn’t what she’d felt the day she blocked Drake from filming Emerson. That had been moral obligation. About fairness and justice. That had been a defense of right and wrong, and she’d done it without thinking. But this feeling, the one she had right now looking out at Emerson by the lake and the one she had the first night they kissed? It was the same feeling she had last night when Emerson couldn’t be held or kissed enough. She knew what that feeling was. That feeling was the momentous soul-shaking kind of thing that couldn’t be undone, couldn’t be turned off, and couldn’t be ignored. She was in love with Emerson Sterling and there was no way around it.
“I’m so fucking fucked, aren’t I?” Hayley said to herself. She half expected the ghost of her grandmother to slap her upside the back of her head. She needed it.
She looked down at the counter just to break the spell of staring at Emerson—which she seemed to have no problem doing, like a total creeper—and she noticed coffee in the coffeepot. Emerson had made her coffee and laid out a saucer and a mug with a spoon. Because of course she did. That woman was perfect. Ignoring that fact was hopeless.
Hayley could see Emerson’s smile broaden at the sound of the screen door opening. She walked toward her slowly, cradling her hot coffee so as not to spill it.
“I wasn’t sure if you were ever going to wake up.” Emerson slid the dark glasses up into her hair, and Hayley was lost in those incredible eyes of hers.
“It’s a pretty comfy bed.” Hayley shrugged and sat at the foot of Emerson’s lounge chair.
Emerson nodded. “It is. Surprisingly more so than that couch.” She rubbed her neck with a smile.
“I take personal offense at that statement. I’ll have you know you were mostly on me, not the couch, and I happen to have on good authority that I’m amazingly comfortable.” Hayley sipped the coffee and winced.
“Too strong? It’s too strong isn’t it?” Emerson leaned forward with her mouth pulled to one side in a worried expression. “I don’t drink coffee, so I never know how many scoops or how much water or why it can’t be easier to make…There are a lot of coffee rules I’ve come to find out. A lot.”
Hayley patted her hand and coughed. “It’s good. Really. It’s fine. Thank you.”
Emerson frowned. “It’s terrible.”
“It’s terrible.”
Emerson huffed, and it was adorable.
“But it’s the thought that counts. It was very, very thoughtful.” Hayley traced her fingers along the back of Emerson’s hand and squeezed when Emerson touched her back. “How’s your warm water and honey?”
Emerson sipped her cup and frowned again. “Cold now.”
Hayley reached for it. “Here, let me have it.”
Emerson gave her a curious look but handed Hayley the cup. Hayley poured out some of her coffee between the wooden slats of the porch and poured the remainder of Emerson’s cup into hers. She stirred it with the spoon and took another sip. “There. Much better.”
Emerson looked unconvinced. “You don’t need to humor me.”
Hayley took a bigger sip. This was a significant improvement. She could totally drink this now. “I’m not. It’s delicious. Care to try?”
Emerson held up her hand and shook her head. “Oh no, I’m good.”
“You sure?” Hayley leaned closer and teased her. “It’s good and strong. You might find the taste rather enjoyable.”
Emerson leaned forward, and her eyes sparkled. “I’m not opposed to tasting it. I’d just rather it not be from the cup.”
Hayley was confused. “How do you plan to do that exactly?”
Emerson took the hot coffee and placed it on the table next to her. She pulled Hayley to her by her sweatshirt and placed a slow, lingering kiss to her lips.
Hayley melted into her.
“Like that.” Emerson leaned back and dragged her thumb over her bottom lip and Hayley suddenly had a desire for something much tastier than coffee.
“Well, damn.”
Emerson laughed and stretched in the chair.
Hayley pulled at the bottom of Emerson’s shirt, her shirt. “This looks good on you.”
“Thank you. Speaking of that”—Emerson cocked her head to the side—“I bet the preliminary shots are in from that photo shoot. We can check them out.” She reached next to Hayley’s mug for her cell phone, but Hayley stopped her hand.
“Wait.” Her thoughts from before came rushing back to her. She knew this blissful quiet couldn’t last forever, but she was in no rush to have it end either. “No phones.”
Emerson raised an eyebrow at her. “No phones?”
Hayley shook her head. “No. Just for a bit. Just until we can’t avoid it any longer. Can we just have some time? Just today?”
Emerson seemed to consider this, and her expression softened. “I’d like that.”
Hayley breathed out a sigh of relief, but the words she was trying to stifle came spilling out. “I just, I just want to freeze time a little, you know? We can have this here.” She motioned between them and to the lake behind her. “This can be ours for a while. Just us. Here. Without life getting in the way. Is that okay?”
Emerson blinked at her and she thought maybe she’d sounded crazy. She’d said too much. “You’d like that? To freeze time with me, here in your happy place?”
Hayley nodded, but she didn’t have the courage to tell Emerson that somewhere along the way she had become Hayley’s happy place. “I would.”
Emerson smiled and cupped her jaw. “I think it’s a fantastic idea. And I’m honored you want to share this space with me. And I’m grateful you brought me here. You’re kind of my hero.”
Hayley turned her head and kissed Emerson’s palm. “There’s no one else I’d rather be with.”
The look in Emerson’s eyes told her that she hadn’t said too much, even if she felt like she’d betrayed herself with that last bit.
Chapter Twenty-three
Emerson was tired, but it was the good kind of tired. It was the kind of tired that came from a long day of being in the sun and lounging by the lake. It was the kind of tired that followed a dinner of grilled hot dogs and burgers on the patio where Hayley regaled her with stories of her childhood. She and Hayley talked for hours about all the good and the bad and the in between. They talked about Rory and what that had been like for Emerson then, and how she felt about it now. They talked about whether they wanted families and kids. No one had ever asked Emerson if she planned on settling down and having kids one day. She’d never given it much thought because she never truly expected to find someone she could share her life with. But she had a feeling that might be changing. Hayley wanted a big family: kids, a dog, maybe some birds. She loved hearing about that. She wanted that for her. So the tiredness of today didn’t matter because it was the kind of tired that came from staying up too la
te eating s’mores after dinner and learning about the constellations from Hayley. It was a vacation kind of tired. And she loved it.
Emerson couldn’t remember another time in her life when she had felt so free and so unencumbered. The past twenty-four hours had been some of the best in her life and she had Hayley to thank for them. But all good things must come to an end, and she needed to get back to the life she’d been avoiding. So this little extra bit of tired she felt this morning—a morning when she was up extra early to make sure she could try to give back to Hayley a little of the magic that she had given her—this tired was entirely worth it.
She kissed Hayley’s ear and nibbled on her earlobe. “Hayley, it’s time to get up.”
Hayley groaned but snuggled closer. “Too early. Shh, sleeping.”
Emerson looked down at Hayley. She was gorgeous. She lay there, naked from their night together, wrapped only in sheets and a light blanket. The weather had been so unseasonably warm yesterday and into last night that they’d discarded the duvet. They’d made plenty of their own heat without it.
“Baby. C’mon. I want to show you something.” Emerson pulled the sheet away from Hayley’s chest and traced the skin along her shoulder to her clavicle. She lowered her lips to the side of Hayley’s neck and left warm, openmouthed kisses along the skin.
Hayley hummed and peeked open an eye. She reached up and patted Emerson on the cheek. “You’re very convincing. But the sun isn’t even up yet.”