by Mia Moon
“No,” both Alex and Josh replied firmly.
“How?” I asked. Saying I was lost didn’t even begin to cover it. “You expect me to choose one of you? And hurt the rest?”
Alex frowned and studied the blanket we sat on. Josh placed a hand on my shoulder, massaging me.
“What if I told you that it just sort of happened?” he asked.
“It doesn’t feel like anything ‘just happened’ with how fast everything’s unfolded,” I replied.
"But it really did," Alex said sincerely. "I guess if we start way at the beginning…"
“A few years back, Alex and I were dating the same girl. Except it wasn’t our plan—she was deceiving us. We found out, and at the time we were pissed, but looking back, had she been honest about being into both of us, maybe it could’ve worked.”
I turned to meet Josh’s honest expression. “So that’s it?”
"No," Alex said with a half-laugh. "We hated each other for about a month because each of us wanted her more, or so we thought. Then Ken stepped in and said it wasn't a surprise we'd fall for the same girl, it was a surprise she could put up with both of us."
“And that’s the truth. One night, over beer and wings we just threw it out there. What if we found the one? The one woman who tolerated all our shit, who matched each of us. And why couldn’t it happen? We’re a team. We’re like brothers. We do everything together, so how would having four women and four relationships work?” Josh reasoned.
My eyes seemed to grow bigger than the boulders in the lake.
“We tried, not really hard, but we tried to date that way,” Alex said. “For one reason or another, dating didn’t work. Then we changed it up and tried to find someone for all of us.”
“Obviously it didn’t work.” I pointed out.
Josh's hand slipped from my shoulder to press on the blanket by my side so that he was leaning against me. "It didn't work out because most women don't want four boyfriends. Four lovers, sure. That's a fantasy, the other isn't as flashy."
“And you think I’m different?” My heart was pounding so hard that I wondered if it would burst. Could a twenty-something have a heart attack from shock and lust?
“Aren’t you?” Alex asked. “You’re not running away.”
I scoffed and gestured to the trees around us. “I don’t know the way.”
He placed his hand on my knee, and now that I knew that he wanted me beyond a normal playful friendship, it made me shiver.
“Ken is crazy about you. When you two got in touch, that’s the first he’s ever talked fondly of his past. He’s a quiet guy, but he talks about you all the time,” Alex said.
“He wanted you to be the one for us, and he was convinced of it. When your job brought you here, it was decided that we’d give it a try,” Josh said.
I arched my brow. “Sounds like you guys weren’t interested.”
“You sounded great, but nah. We didn’t have our hopes up. And personally, I don’t believe in fate,” Josh admitted. “Ken was convinced the stars had aligned for you to move here.”
“Fate isn’t real. Honestly, you moved here for Ken, didn’t you? At least a tiny bit?” Alex asked.
I pursed my lips, then expelled a loud sigh. “Sort of. I mean, the job was number one priority. And it’s a better situation here than back in California. But yeah, Ken was my freaking high school crush, of course I wanted a chance to be near him again.”
“When he said you were coming to practice, we agreed that if you were interested, and that we liked you, we’d ask you out. Try it. It wasn’t a conspiracy, we just wanted to see if you liked us.” The sides of Josh’s mouth quirked up. “Don’t you?”
“All of you? Nathan doesn’t even live with you guys, how could that even work?” I sputtered.
“He’s one step away from taking the basement room. It’s a big house,” Josh explained.
I didn’t want to answer. I didn’t know the answer, or rather I didn’t know if it was as simple as a yes or no. Standing, I tucked my hair back behind my ears. “I’m sorry. I just can’t… imagine how that would work. We should head back, I think.”
The men nodded and rose quietly. Josh dusted off the blanket, folded it, and put it back in his bag. The silence was painful, but I needed it. My mind was racing in all directions, to places I’d never even considered.
Like dating four men at once.
They helped me up the slope, and as I turned down the trail Alex took my hand.
“You can’t imagine it. Could you try?” he asked, placing his thumb on my chin and tilting my face up.
I nodded, and he pulled me into a kiss. Even if he was part of the complicated jumble in my brain, his lips against mine slowed everything down. I leaned into him and closed my eyes. As we kissed, I felt little bursts of light through my body, as if sparklers were igniting inside me.
A firm wall pressed against my back—Josh. He leaned down and his mouth grazed my neck, kissing me from shoulder to ear while his fingertips traced my thighs. Alex’s arms wrapped around my waist and drew me forward against his erection.
My body flashed hot, feeling a twinge of the taboo and an even greater urge to go further with both. I knew my cheeks were red, but I was more aware of how the rest of me was responding. Josh rubbed his cock against my ass and suddenly rational thought was a thing of the past.
“Is this so bad, baby girl?” Alex asked softly, teasing my lips with his breath.
Oh. My. God.
I opened my mouth and a desperate moan slipped free. I shut my eyes and turned my head, unable to form a proper response. I continued to kiss Alex while Josh softly bit my neck from behind. One man played with my hair while the other cupped my breasts.
Then they gently let me go. I was panting. “Are you teasing me?” I asked, incredulous.
Alex shrugged.
“Consider that a preview,” Josh said, grinning. “Let’s head back. We don’t want you to be late for your date with Ken.”
Alex went ahead and Josh’s careful hand on my back guided me forward, back to the main trail. My clit throbbed with each step.
What have I gotten myself into?
Chapter Eight
I stared out the window of Ken’s car, watching the buildings zoom by against the setting sun. He was talking for the both of us, mostly. I listened and pitched in enough conversation to make the time pass.
I still hadn’t recovered from the hike. On one hand, I was flattered. Beyond flattered. A flash of heat went through me when I thought of kissing Alex while Josh stood behind me, cupping my breasts. Or was it Alex who cupped my breasts?
I almost laughed out loud. This was so out of character for me.
I couldn’t get one thing out of my mind: why would they all want me?
Leaning my head against the cool glass, I worked out their point of view. If they’d told me at the beginning that they all wanted to date me together, I don’t know how I would’ve reacted. Given my history with shyness, I probably would have run screaming for the hills.
It’s not just four great guys to fuck, although I’m sure some puck bunnies out there would be into that. It’s four personalities to keep happy. Four schedules, four minds, four egos. To grow with. To put up with, as Alex said.
“We’re here,” Ken said, squeezing my leg and sending little sparks through my body.
I looked up. It was a large building I didn’t recognize. “Where are we?”
“You’ll see,” he promised, grabbing a duffel bag from the back seat.
I hopped out of the car and walked beside him. A couple rushed ahead of us, and a particular item in their grip made me look around. Sure enough, adults and kids alike were moving in and out of the building, all carrying ice skates.
My heart raced with anticipation. I didn’t know how to skate, and I recalled telling Ken this several times. Still, I followed him into the building. An extensive line was stretched before us, but Ken walked me past it, into a shop next to the rink.
<
br /> “What size shoe do you normally wear?” He pulled a box from the wall.
I shrugged, too shocked still to answer.
“You’ve been quiet all day,” he said softly. “You feeling okay? Do you want me to take you home?”
Shaking my head, I sat down on one of the cushioned benches spread around the displays of skates. “Umm. Seven.”
He knelt before with a smile, the same smile that went straight to warming my heart. I couldn’t help but grin. He unlaced my shoe.
“I can try shoes on without help,” I pointed out.
“You have to lace these up just right or you won’t know if they fit properly,” he said digging a boot from the box.
I toed my shoe off and went to slide it into the skate, but he caught my foot by the heel and studied my colorful sock emblazoned with cartoon characters.
“Pigs?” he asked with a chuckle.
I wiggled my toes and laughed. Even if my mind was foggy, I’d recalled Nathan’s advice to wear cute socks.
“I like them,” he said sliding the skate onto my foot. “Adorable.”
I couldn’t help but reach out and ruffle his hair. How was it that small moments like this made my heart pound this hard?
An hour on the ice and I was feeling more like myself. Which was odd, because I was so uncoordinated. The lesson pulled me from my confusion and reminded me of what a patient person Ken was. But it was clear I wouldn’t be skating on my own for some time.
Still, I enjoyed every second, and whooped as I made one successful — and extremely wobbly — half-lap around the rink and into Ken’s arms. I had the tiny thought of how awesome that moment would be if all four guys who’d left an impression on me in the past week could see me.
"You're more slippery than a puck," he commented as he led me off the ice.
My dirty mind took over and I raised an eyebrow. If only he knew…
I wobbled to the bench and unlaced my boots. “I’ll get the hang of it. Just give me a few months.”
“You’re in a better mood.”
I shrugged and watched him tuck my skates into his duffel bag next to his own. I hadn’t protested him buying me the pair. They weren’t cheap and seemed to indicate that this would be a frequent event if we stayed together. Interesting.
And he hadn’t thought twice about it. It was just his plan.
I pulled on my shoes and hopped to my feet. “What’s next?”
“Food. I don’t know about you but I’m starving.” He held out his hand. “It’s not fancy, but it’ll fill you up.”
I took his hand and he led us through the back door of the massive building. It opened to a park, which we crossed while I looked around and tried to guess what we’d eat out here. There were no other buildings, just the river in the distance.
He brought me to a hot dog stand and ordered two.
Handing me one, he looked me in the eyes. “Don’t tell the guys. They’ll give me shit. These are the best dogs in the city, but they don’t fit into the season diet.”
I grinned, the scent of meaty chili and cheese making my mouth water. “I promise. Our secret.”
We sat on a bench facing the park and dug into our hot dogs with plastic forks. Ken extracted blue sports drinks from his bag. Either I led a closed-in life, or these guys had somehow known everything I’d never done before. Waterfalls, secluded restaurants, skating. Street food. Sports drinks.
Shoveling a mouthful of delicious bun and chili into my mouth, I had an epiphany. The reason why I was upset and not upset at the same time became clear. I swallowed and washed it down with a gulp of my drink.
“Why didn’t you tell me how you felt?” I asked.
“I did tell you.”
“No.” I stuck my fork into my hot dog and sat back against the bench, watching him. “We’ve been talking for a year, and during that time, you told your friends how you felt, and you told them about me. But you never told me about how you felt. Not even a hint.”
He stabbed at his chili. “It’s not the sort of thing you say long distance. I wanted to tell you in person.”
“And if I’d never moved here, then what?” I asked. “You knew I was considering the move. I agonized over picking up my life for a job that could fall apart, and you could have told me then.”
“I didn’t want you to move here just for me. I don’t know what I would’ve done if you didn’t come, but I couldn’t ask you to change your plans when I had no idea if you felt the same way I did,” he reasoned.
I stared down at my food. “But I did move here, and as much as I didn’t want to admit it, you were in the back of my mind. The possibility of us. Don’t tell me you had no idea how I felt. It had to be obvious. I always felt so obvious.”
He leaned back and pressed his shoulder to mine. “No, I meant I didn’t know how you’d feel about everyone else. I didn’t know what I would do if you came out here and you were perfect for me but didn’t get along with them. They’re my brothers. And yeah, if you were all friends, okay, but what if you hated them?”
“I don’t think you’d ever be friends with someone I could hate.” I wanted to put my hand on his knee but I was worried my fingers were covered in chili.
"Yeah. I know that, but it's the kind of thing that's just strange enough to happen," he said with a sigh. "You know, I spent this day wondering what could have gone wrong. It's not like I don't trust Josh and Alex, clearly, I do—but you seemed so distant."
“They were fine, it wasn’t that, not exactly,” I said softly. Somehow, it felt awkward to tell him about the kiss in the woods with Josh and Alex. And the kiss with Nathan. Shyness seized my chest, and I felt myself shutting down.
Ken pushed his hair back and wrinkled his brows in frustration. “I didn’t even ask how their date with you went. They seemed over-the-moon. Then I pick you up and you’re just… And it’s all me, huh?”
I didn’t know what to say. Everything was overwhelming, but for him to have held his feelings a secret for so long—that was the hardest to accept. We could have missed our chance completely.
“It’s a lot, Ken.”
“I know, but… take a chance on me. On us.”
I wondered which us he was talking about. Him and me — or the four of them and me?
Appetite gone, I stood and looked around, searching for a garbage can. “I think I should do some work today. Schedule’s kind of crazy.”
Chapter Nine
Eight days passed while I worked and pondered my thoughts. Nathan texted me a few times, and I always responded, but the conversation was empty. I didn’t have an answer for him. Ken poked me on messenger and called, but except for telling him about work, I didn’t want to talk. Josh and Alex also texted a few times.
I told everyone the same thing. Project deadline. Sorry…
I leaned back in my desk chair and spun gently side to side while casting my gaze around my room, giving my eyes a break from the glare of the computer screen. A small navy rectangle, just a little larger than a business card, caught my eye.
Josh had slipped it to me at some point the first night we met. It was a schedule of all the local games their team had this season, and beside the tiny list was a picture of him. With his helmet and bulky uniform, I could barely tell it was him, but he was proud that they’d put him on every little card.
There was no game tonight.
I straightened in my chair and my fingers hovered over the keyboard. I was ahead of schedule, so much so that one of the managers told me I wasn’t allowed to put in more office time this week. They told me to relax and cautioned me against burnout. They offered me extra vacation days. They offered me a second assistant.
But what else could I do? I missed the guys. I was experienced enough to know that the empty ache in my heart wasn’t just silly infatuation. It could grow into full-blown love if I gave it a chance. They’d burrowed into my life and made themselves at home.
And it terrified me.
There was a reaso
n most romances only had two people involved, and who was I to think I could handle more? That I was the type of girl who could define the odds?
My phone chimed, and I flipped it over.
It was Alex, asking how my day was going.
I texted him back, letting him know I was fine. Judging by the time, practice was over for him, so he should’ve been having lunch with the guys.
I tapped out a message. What are you doing?
We’re sitting at home, bored. Missing you.
I ran my hands through my hair and stood up. My body moved, knowing what it was doing even if my mind wasn’t fully made up. I had my jacket on and keys in hand before I faced my thoughts.
I had to see them again, even if it was just to tell them about my doubts. My fears. Once I did that, they probably wouldn’t want me. I couldn’t run from them, couldn’t ghost them from my life. I wasn’t that woman.
It took a few deep breaths and pep talks to get out of the car. They had to know I was out here, hesitating. The driveway was long and made of gravel, so I couldn’t have snuck up on them.
In the light of day, I saw how large the house was. Big, but simple. It looked almost like a chalet, all wood and windows. Gorgeous, really.
I’d never even gotten a full tour, and now, I never would. Hands in pockets, I walked to the door, practicing my words. I’d let them down, then I’d call Nathan and do the same.
The door opened before I lifted a hand to knock. Ken stepped to the side.
“Hey, gorgeous. Come on in,” he said casually.
His gentle smile suggested his optimism, making what I had to do harder. I stepped into the living room, shrugging out of my coat. Ideally, this wouldn't take long but I'd become overheated the second I stepped foot into the home.
I laid the coat on the sofa arm and turned to face him. He caught me in a surprise hug.
“It’s so good to see you, I’m glad you came,” he said, words muffled in my hair.
I patted his arm as he released me, trying to form a comforting expression. “Uh. Are the guys around?”