“Uh.” What do I say to that? “Thanks, I guess.”
“I can tell you’re uncomfortable with this conversation, but you have to be able to talk about it. Being able to discuss sex with me or with your partner is part of being mature enough to handle the physical part, and the emotional, that come along with being intimate.”
“Yeah, I get it.” I’ll say anything to stop here from saying more.
No such luck. “Then, when you can talk about it, you move on. You should be free enough to explore each other’s bodies without being embarrassed. That’s part of protecting yourself. If you’re too afraid to look at him downtown and make sure nothing is infected, then you’re not ready for him to be down south on you either.”
Holy mother of God. Is she serious? “Mom!”
“And then if you decide to follow through, you need to make sure he puts the condom on. Look. Double check. Don’t take his word for it.”
“Mom! Stop! Please.”
“This is serious, Megan. One little misstep and your life is changed forever.”
“Believe me, I know.” More than you think.
“What do you mean?” Oh shit. Did I just say that last part aloud. “Did something already happen? I thought you said you were a virgin?” Guilt must register on my face. “Megan. What happened?” She leans forward. “You know you can tell me anything.”
And I do. I know I can share anything with her. She’s just that type of mom. Kind, understanding, loving.
“Nothing happened.” Her crumpled brows show all the worry. I can’t do this to her. I can’t lie. “Not to me, anyway.”
“Keesh? Steph? Are they okay?”
“No.” I’m really going to do this. “Amy.”
Now, she’s confused. She backs away, sitting straight up. And then, I tell her what happened with Amy and my part in holding her hand.
Tears slowly trace my mom’s cheeks. Lips pursed, hands clasped together as she listens.
“You know you could have come to me.”
I nod.
“Amy can come to me too, if she needs anything. Just because it’s been months doesn’t mean she’s okay. You tell her I’m here for her.”
“I will. Thanks.”
“So you’ll take the stash of condoms with you?”
“Yes. But I doubt I’ll need them. I’m not there yet. And I’m pretty sure Alex is scared dad will whip out his gun and shoot him.”
My mom laughs. “That never gets old. I’ll be laughing twenty years from now.”
“Yeah, I don’t think Alex thinks it’s very funny.”
“Good.” She stands and comes to my side. Cupping my chin in her soft hand, she says, “I’m glad you’re waiting till you’re sure. There’s no point in rushing it. If you ever need to talk, I’m here.”
“I know.”
“Knowing and actually coming to me are two different things.” She drops her hand but still peers down at me.
“Believe me, Mom. I’ll be talking your ear off when I need to.”
“Okay. Don’t forget to pack your hoodie, and the latex.”
“Nice way to slide that in there.”
“That’s what she said.”
“Oh my god. I can’t believe you just said that.”
“There’s more where that came from.” She chuckles.
“Now, that’s what I’m afraid of.”
“Vegas, baby!” I shout as we pull onto the freeway.
Steph turns around, staring at me with confusion. “Vegas?”
I chuckle. “Yeah. I’ve always wanted to say that.”
She shakes her head. “But we’re not going to Las Vegas.”
I roll my eyes. “Fine.” I thrust my head and half my body out of the window, wind blowing in my hair, and yell, “Berkeley, baby!”
Keesh smacks my tush. “I’m surprised you’re not yelling ‘Alex, baby’!”
“Oh, I will be. I’ll save that for tonight. But it’ll be more like a whisper. I wouldn’t want to wake you guys up.” I flash a dramatic wink her way.
Dom shakes his head this time. “What did I get myself into? This is gonna be one long ass drive.”
Steph pokes him in his side. “Oh, you’re loving it.”
He steals a glance at her with a sweet grin. “I love you. There’s a difference.”
“Aww.” Keesh lets out a dreamy sigh. “And you guys thought you’d be able to break up and stay away from each other. How long did that last?”
“Not even a week,” I tease.
Steph whips herself around again, this time staring me down. “It was months actually. And like you’re one to talk. How long did you and Alex last? Two weeks? Or two days?”
My friends laugh at my expense.
“Hey, we’re not back together.”
To my surprise, Dominic chimes in next. “Whatever.”
“Who invited him again?” I joke.
“You wanna walk?” He eyeballs me in his mirror with a goofy smile.
“Nah, make fun of me all you want. I can hang.”
Then, I take out my phone and start tapping away, updating my status on all my social media sites.
Our college road trip has officially started. Watch out peeps, here comes the double threat crew.
Driving straight through to Berkeley with one restroom break has taken a toll on my bladder.
When we make it up the stairs to Alex’s apartment, I slap a quick peck on his cheek and ask him to point me in the direction of the facilities before I piss all over his floor. I can hear my friends snicker as I do the pee-pee dance all the way down the hall till the door is closed.
“I told her not to get a Double Big Gulp sized Slurpee at the last stop.”
“I can hear you,” I shout to Dominic.
“Yeah, but you don’t listen,” he shouts back.
Whatever. I try to tune them out while forty four ounces of Coca-Cola Slurpee drains from my body. Just when I think I’m done, a steady stream starts flowing again. Taking a deep breath, I sigh with relief as my bladder shrinks back to normal size.
I could seriously kill Dom for not stopping the last two hours. We’re making good time. Whatever. A quick stop wouldn’t have killed us.
When my jeans are finally buckled, the toilet flushed, my hoohah wiped, and hands washed—and not in that particular order—I make my exit and mosey on over to my friends who are now sitting down on a couple of old sofas.
Alex looks comfy in an oversized recliner. I stop next to him and lean into the side of the chair.
“Whew. Now that I can breathe … hi.” I look down at him and lose my breath again. He’s absolutely gorgeous. His big smile melts my heart. I want to swim naked in his sexy eyes, and when I’m done I want to roll around in his messy dark hair.
His strong hand takes hold of mine and yanks me down, hauling me into his lap. Alex’s other hand cups the side of my face as his eyes meet mine. “Hi.” He smiles. “That’s all you have to say?”
“Um.” The heat of his body touching mine makes my mind whirl. “How are you?”
“Still not good enough.” Then, he brushes his fingers through my hair, settling his hand on the back of my neck, and pulls me in for a kiss that leaves me panting for air—Dominic clears his throat—and a need for a room all to ourselves.
Alex releases the hold on my neck, and my ass and I swipe my mouth with the back of my hand as I turn around in his lap to face my friends.
“So are we still saying you guys aren’t back together?” Steph asks, with a smirk. Keesh wears a silly grin at this comment. So does Dom.
“If anyone believes that, they must be brain dead.” A short, stocky guy comes into the room dressed in soccer shorts and a Metallica tee. I recognize him from my Skype sessions with Alex. “Welcome, everyone. I’m Jesse.”
He comes over and leans down to hug me. “Nice to finally meet you in person, Meg. I can definitely see why this guy is oblivious to any good looking chick on campus. You got him whipped from six hour
s away.”
“Nice, Jess. Way to be subtle.” Alex shakes his head, his cheeks turning a light shade of pink.
“Don’t worry, bro. The Megster is just as wrapped as you are.” I eye Dominic. Thanks, buddy.
“Well, now that we have that established,” Alex says, “Jesse, meet the rest of the crew.”
“Hey, Meggie,” Keesh whispers as I come out of the bathroom in my jammies with my face washed, my teeth brushed, and my hair pulled up in a high pony. I tiptoe a little closer to her, afraid to wake up Steph and Dominic who are passed out on an air mattress on the floor.
“What’s up? Do you need something?”
“No, I was just going to ask you the same thing. Do you need condoms? I brought some for you. You know. Just in case. I know you think it won’t happen, but you should always be prepared.
I don’t want to be prepared. That’s the point. “No, thank you. If I have them, I might be tempted. I’m not ready yet. When I am, I’ll ask you for some.”
“Meg, but what if things get out of hand and you do the deed without them.” I think about Amy, and the look on her face last year.
“Not gonna happen. I promise.”
“Okay, then. Goodnight.”
“Night.”
When I enter Alex’s room, he’s sitting at his desk surfing the net.
“Whatcha doin’?” I ask, closing the door behind me.
“Getting my fantasy football team set for tomorrow.” He turns toward me. “Ready for bed?”
“Sure. It’s been a long day. And it’s going to get crazier the rest of the week.”
“But at least we can do crazy together.” He flips the screen shut, stands, and closes the distance between us. He places his hands on my hips and reels me in. “So how we gonna do this?”
“What do you mean?”
“Are you okay with sharing the bed? Want me to sleep on the floor? Want me to sleep out there and Keesh can come in here with you?”
I run my hands up his taut abs, over his chest, and rest them on his shoulders. “Don’t be silly. We can sleep together.”
His eyes widen.
“Sleep.” I slap his chest. “Just sleep. No other meaning behind that.”
“Okay. Got it. Just sleep.” He dips his head so our faces are so close I can feel his breath mingle with mine. “But can we at least kiss? Just a little?”
“Oh no, babe. We can kiss a lot.”
When I wake up in the morning, my heart practically leaps out of my chest at the way Alex and I are positioned.
Alex is next to me, flat on his back. I’ve slept on my side, snuggled against him. He holds my left hand in both of his, right over his heart. I could stay like this forever, watching him sleep and feeling so loved.
A grin creeps across his mouth. He’s awake.
“Good morning,” I say softly.
He’s eyes crack open. “Morning, beautiful.” He lifts one of his arms, still holding my hand with the other, and pulls me in closer to him. I rest my head in the crook of his shoulder with a sigh.
“I wish I could wake up like this every day,” he says, his eyes settling on mine.
“Me too. I can’t think of anything better than this.”
He brushes his lips against the top of my head, and runs his fingertips up and down my back, causing sparks to ignite throughout my body.
“Can we just stay like this for the rest of the day? I’ll just pick a college out of a hat. I don’t need to see them.”
Alex chuckles. “You’re funny. Let’s get up and get going. I want you to be able to see everything you need to make this decision. Four years is a long time. As much as I’d love to wrap myself around you and take you hostage for the rest of the day, you gotta do this.”
Alex and I are just about to leave his room, after getting ready together for our long day of college touring, when he stops me at the door with a grasp of my arm.
I bump right into his hard chest when I turn around. His eyes stare down at me with some hot ass intensity.
“What’s wrong?” I ask, his gaze causing my girl parts to warm.
“Nothing at all.” But just as his words trickle out, my back is against the wall, my hands are pinned above my head, and my mouth is covered by his.
Holy shit, is my first thought.
Breathless, I try to keep up with his feast on my mouth by nipping at his bottom lip and tracing the outline of his mouth with the tip of my tongue. He’s absolutely delicious.
He sighs against me and continues to work his magic on my happy place just below my ear. He knows I go crazy when he kisses my neck. I can almost sense his smile against my sensitive skin.
His soft lips trail along the collar of my low-cut tee, grazing the top of my cleavage. I want to take hold of his head, grasp handfuls of his thick hair, and hold him in this spot forever, but my wrists are still cuffed above us.
Too much thinking. Let me just enjoy this overwhelming moment of lust and pleasure before my knees can no longer hold me.
“Alex. Babe.” The words come out as a whimper. “You’re gonna make me …”
“What, baby? Tell me.” The warmth of his breath on my damp skin makes my girl parts tighten even more, primed and ready to explode like Mt. St. Helens.
“I don’t know exactly.” And I really don’t. I just feel like I could scream, cry out, or laugh. The emotions and heat running through my body are almost too much to deal with or even understand.
A moan escapes me as Alex plants gentle pecks up my chest, along my jaw, and to my mouth. One more intense mingle of our lips and strokes of our tongues, and he backs away, his eyes locked on mine.
“Sorry. Couldn’t help myself.”
“Don’t apologize for that. You can do that, anytime.”
He smiles, melting every last limb in my body. I lean into him, resting my head on his strong chest and wrapping my arms around him like a Koala would a tree.
“I look forward to it.”
“Me too.”
“I changed my mind. You sure we can’t just fast forward to tonight and stay holed up in my room.”
“No kidding.” On tip toes, I stretch out to land a few kisses on his neck.
“We need to stop before Keesh breaks down the door and drags us out.”
“All right.” I remove my hands from his body, pushing him back. “Let’s go, for reals this time.”
“One more thing.” He inspects the carpet, dragging his hands through his hair.
“Round two?” I joke, fluttering my eyebrows.
He looks up with a smile. “No.” He shakes his head with a sexy grin that could melt my panties this time. “I just want to tell you, I’m excited for you. It’s really cool your parents let you do this trip. I wish I woulda done the same.” He pauses as if he’s trying to find the right words. “Just keep an open mind. As much as I want you up here with me, I want what’s best for you more. Don’t make a choice based on us. There will always be an us, no matter how many miles are in between. I think we’ve discovered that over the last few years.”
Instantly, I’m in his arms and kissing him. Again.
“You’re the best, you know that?”
He smiles. “I try.”
“You don’t have to try. You just are.”
“Well, I meant every word I said.”
“I know you did.”
Chapter 15
When we get out of the car at Davis, Keesh digs her elbow into my side. “Hey, it only took us an hour to get here. That’s not a long drive to visit Alex.”
I link arms with her as we walk away from the group. “I’m not making my decision based on him. I’m gonna go where ever it feels right.”
“Good. But it’s still close enough.” She hip checks me, and we both giggle.
“Wow, there are a lot of bikes on campus.” Steph catches up with us, while the guys trail behind.
“Yeah. I noticed that too. I’m not much of a bike person,” Keesh says.
We make our
first stop at the visitor’s center to gather some informational material, and continue on our walk through campus.
“Hey, look,” I say, pointing to a brochure. “That’s the law school. Says here that it’s ranked in the top thirty in the country. That’s pretty good. I bet there are thousands of law schools. This would be good for you Keesh. You’d make a great lawyer.”
“I don’t know. I was thinking more like psychology. Or liberal studies. I might want to be a high school counselor or something.”
That’s new to us. “I can see it.”
“Me too,” Steph says.
“Yeah. Since my dabble into thug life freshman year, I’ve been really thankful to my counselor. It could’ve been a lot worse, and she made it better. I could picture myself setting straight a few dumbass kids who think they know everything.”
“Thug life?” I laugh.
“That’s all you got out of my dream to be a counselor.” She joins me in the laughter.
“No, I heard you. But you just made it sound like you joined a gang and you were on a street corner selling dime bags of weed.”
Now, Steph laughs. “But you were just smoking bongs with a bunch of harmless dumb blonds.”
“What the hell is that?” I ask, pointing to these large sculptures with faces.
“Those are the Eggheads. I’ve always wondered what they’d look like in person. Jesse’s been here and told me about them. Kinda weird.” Alex puts his arm around me as we all pause in front of the faces and observe the bizarre artwork.
“Dude, Andi would love this,” Dominic says, scratching his head.
“Dude, you’re right,” Steph agrees, taking out her phone. “I’m gonna send her a picture.”
Double Threats Forever (Double Threat Series) Page 10