Just wait, matey. You haven’t seen anything yet. Desire curled under Jenna’s ribcage, expanding lower and lower and hit her most intimate parts, making her hot and hungry for him.
It scattered at the sound of Evie’s voice. ‘One more. Please, Nick.’
‘Oh, okay then.’ He’d softened, relaxed. And, God help him, he was making her daughter happy. When he let his guard down, he was incredible. He was the very best of men. He was…
I love you. The words, the feeling, slid into her heart and settled there.
I love you.
No.
She couldn’t. She watched him swing her daughter around and felt the deep affection in her heart. She couldn’t draw her eyes away from the smooth movement of his body, and craved to hear that low rumble of laughter that connected with her heart, her gut, her hormones. She hated when he wasn’t close, fretted when he was at work and longed for his touch.
God.
She dragged her eyes from him and turned away so he couldn’t see the truth in her face. No, she was infatuated. Yes. In lust. Yes, deeply. But not in love, not with Nick. She couldn’t have fallen for him. How? Why had she let herself do this?
Because if this ended—when this ended—when their friendship was fractured, she’d be broken all over again. She’d been so careful, or at least had told herself she was being careful. But in truth, she’d protected her daughter but not herself.
She couldn’t show him. He’d run a mile. They hadn’t discussed the hows and the whys and where this was going. They’d only ever said that whatever happened they’d always be friends.
That’s what she needed to be.
Unless she thought about the way he kissed her, the way he held her, the sweet things he said to her, the care he gave to her. The look in his eyes when he gazed at her into the night.
Maybe he felt the same way?
And maybe he didn’t. She didn’t know what to do, what to say. Panic reverberated through her chest.
She loved this man, and it would break her heart if he couldn’t love her back. But she couldn’t say the words. Not now at least. That would push him away forever.
The music ended, and she turned back to them, grasped some equilibrium and found a decent smile for them both, even though her throat was raw and her mouth felt frozen in panic. ‘Right. Evie, we need to get you to bed, little miss. And Nick, thanks so much for the help tonight. I should probably crack on with the rest of the jobs I have to do.’
He scratched his head. Confused by her demeanour? ‘Fine. Sure. But I’ve not finished the mix tape yet. Give me an hour or so?’
‘Okay. I’ll just go read madam a story.’
She made it three stories and an extra cuddle just to kill time as she calmed down. And even though she was tempted not to go downstairs to see him, she had to.
They were friends after all.
He was just finishing up on the computer and talked some gobbledegook about technology, which meant she needed to make sure she took the laptop to the yoga studio on one of her many trips over there in the next thirty-six hours. She laughed at his jokes. She nodded in the right places. And all the while the knowledge that she’d fallen hopelessly in love with him coloured everything.
She tried so hard to keep things light and inconsequential as she walked him to the door, but when he tugged her against him and pressed soft kisses on her mouth, her nose, her head, she was as lost in him as always.
The scary truth was, no matter how much she tried, she was in too deep and didn’t know what the hell to do about it.
*
***
The texts were coming thick and fast, hitting her cell phone like a barrage of bullets. Jenna made sure the phone was switched to silent and not vibrating, or it would vibrate itself off the counter.
The super-secret squirrel wedding day had hit and things were going according to plan.
So far.
*
Bunting up… looks amazing, can’t wait. Sas x
*
Food starting to arrive. Can I start eating now? I’m starving? F ;-)
*
This is your Mam. I’m after dropping off the dresses and shoes. Now I’m on my way down to you. Hush hush and all that.
Jenna laughed. I know it’s you, Mam. It has your name at the top of my screen. Still, she was embracing this whole wedding secret like she was part of an espionage cartel. Any minute now and she’d arrive wearing a fedora, a tan-coloured trench coat and carrying a long black umbrella.
*
Target located. A quick beer then en route to venue. XXX
Three kisses.
She stared at the text and let the affection roll through her. Nick had picked up Vaughn and was bringing him to his wedding. How could she like him even more? It was impossible, but it seemed to be happening.
How could she love him more?
She would let herself love him if she thought there was a chance he could love her back. It was a big risk, for her and for Evie. He was the one who assessed risk for a living, but this was something she hadn’t stopped assessing, hadn’t stopped thinking about, since he’d left her on Thursday evening.
She had finally found a man she could see herself spending the rest of her life with. She wanted to. Desperately. But she still gripped on to the security of detachment. Just a little bit, she was hanging by her fingertips. She wanted to let go. She ached to let go and take that jump to him… if she thought he’d catch her.
‘Are you making that bouquet or sending smoochy texts to lover boy?’ Chloe bustled in through the front door, the bell chiming as she did so, and looked at the posy Jenna had been working on. ‘Oh, actually, that’s a gorgeous bouquet. Breathtaking.’
‘Glad you like it.’ Because it’s yours. She chose not to dignify the lover boy comments. Yes, she had a lover—love being the operative word—but she couldn’t spend any more time thinking and worrying about that, the bride had arrived. Yay! No last-minute cancellations. Now it was up to Jenna to get her sister successfully to the yoga studio with no hint of what was about to hit her.
‘Who’s it for? Hey, titch.’ Chloe slapped a kiss on Evie’s head—the little one was drawing quietly in the office, no off-limits notebooks to be seen—and slung her hoodie on the office chair. Jenna breathed a sigh of relief when she saw her sister was wearing yoga pants and a Lycra top. Excellent. Yoga was on.
She breathed out slowly and controlled her raging heartbeat. ‘Oh, it’s just for someone a bit last minute.’
Chloe came back through and picked up the small bunch of white gypsophila Jenna had made to fit Evie’s hands. ‘Is this posy for her too?’
‘Yes. Flower girl’s.’
‘Anything else? There’s not much. You’d better hurry up if you’re doing the bridesmaids’ ones as well. What time’s the wedding?’
‘Three. This is all that’s needed. Plus the button-holes, which are all done. I’ve popped them in the fridge. She doesn’t want a big fuss. It’s very intimate.’ And how.
‘Best way. How do I not know about this?’
Jenna waved a hand nonchalantly, or as nonchalantly as she could muster with a whole-body panic and wobbly legs. What if it was a complete disaster? ‘She didn’t need Something Borrowed to organise the wedding. Just a flower order.’
‘Well, she’ll be thrilled. You were right, cascading white orchids are absolutely stunning.’
Another text. Jenna sneaked a look.
Just wanted to say good luck. It will be fine. Stop panicking. Chloe will love you for it. N xxx
Another three kisses. Not as good as having him here, but he was thinking of her. He knew her. He knew exactly when the panic would be almost overwhelming. For some silly reason, her eyes filled with tears. She turned away from Chloe and wiped her face.
‘Helloooo!’ It was Mam. She bulldozed through the door. ‘Jenna? Are you… is everything… you know, okay?’
Oh God. Their mother was the worst at keeping any kind of secr
et. Jenna nodded and grinned. She probably looked like a lunatic. ‘Great! Everything is fabulous!’
‘That’s great then. All systems go.’ It sounded as if she were reading a script from a bad spy movie. Mam gave her a thumbs up and Jenna almost burst out laughing. She really did need to give her mother some acting lessons.
‘What’s going on?’ Chloe was staring at them, mouth open. ‘You two are acting very weirdly.’
Bridget gave an exaggerated shrug of her shoulders, eyes brighter and wider than they should have been. ‘Nothing. Nothing at all. Our Jenna asked me to come babysit the shop and wee Evie while you’re out doing yer yoga. Here I am. Ready for action.’
Just don’t ask about the uncharacteristic make-up and the nice dress under the long coat.
‘Yes. Great, Mum. Don’t forget about the flowers.’ Jenna indicated the box where she’d put all the posies. As soon as she and Chloe left, Bridget was to shut up the shop and take Evie and the flowers up to the yoga studio the quick way. Jenna would take the longer route and meet them all there. With the reluctant bride. In theory, it was brilliant. She just hoped the plan would work out. Her heart hammered and her hands were sweaty. ‘Chloe and I have some serious zen to catch.’ She was going to need a lifetime of yoga and a serious amount of gin to bring her to some sort of calm after this.
‘Yes, thanks for looking after the shop and Evie. You’re a star.’ Chloe kissed their mum’s cheek as Jenna bundled her out of the shop. ‘Back in a couple of hours.’
You wish. Now for some serious lying. Starting with: It’s for your own good.
The journey took even longer than she’d planned; a snarl up on the high street, a string of traffic lights that hit red as soon as she pulled up to them, pedestrians on every zebra crossing. She kept glancing over at her sister who chattered on about the renovations and the new kitchen counter and large industrial steel fridge she’d chosen. And the usual non-stop jabbering about Vaughn.
Chloe had no idea what was about to happen, but it was clear she adored the man with every cell in her body. Jenna envied that surety, the utter belief that everything would be fine, and that this love was forever. And she knew that, for Chloe and Vaughn, this wedding was definitely the best idea.
‘Thank God for that. I thought we’d never get here.’ Chloe slipped out of the car and started towards the studio. ‘Hurry up. I need to find me some calm.’
You’re in the wrong place for that, honey.
It’s for your own good.
‘Wait!’ Jenna hadn’t even unclipped her seat belt. Too late, Chloe had already opened the door and started to go upstairs. Jenna scrambled out, raced into the building and started up behind her. At least Nick would be there to give her the kiss of life when she’d finally, utterly run out of breath and nerves. Or when her sister killed her. ‘There’s something I need to—’
‘To what?’ Chloe pushed the studio door open and stepped in. Then she stepped right back again the moment she saw the bunting, the flowers, the crowd of family and friends smiling and clapping and laughing. Vaughn. ‘What? Whoa. What’s going on?’
‘Okay.’ Jenna filled her lungs, nodded and put her hand on Chloe’s shoulder. Her gaze caught Nick’s. He was there, strong and steady as always. He was there and she knew that whatever happened now, she’d be okay. He said she’d be fine, and seeing him supporting her, she was. He nodded. Smiled. Calm. She took that and instilled it into the words she said to her sister, ‘Chloe, there’s something I need to tell you.’
Chapter 16
‘My wedding day? You are having a laugh, my girl. I’m not getting married. No way. No freaking way.’ Chloe walked into the transformed yoga studio. Not forgetting her manners, she smiled at everyone as she walked past them, but made a beeline for Vaughn. She was mad as hell, but the moment her eyes connected with her boyfriend’s, the anger steamed out of her. ‘Vaughn? We’re not getting married, are we?’
He shrugged, all dressed up in the suit Jenna had sneakily commandeered from his wardrobe. ‘Apparently we are.’
‘Did… did you plan this?’
He smiled and raised his hands. He was a man who knew the Chloe Bridezilla score. Too well. ‘Not likely. I wouldn’t dare.’
She whipped around to Jenna and pointed her finger. ‘You planned this. You.’
‘I did. Yes.’ Damn. Damn. Damn. Jenna’s gut contorted. Why had she thought this would work? She’d got all carried away on a fairy tale instead of listening to everyone else. No one had thought this was a good idea. Except her. ‘Because I believe in love and you believe in celebrating it. You’re a wedding planner for heaven’s sake. You love weddings. I just thought you needed a push.’ Jenna held her breath. Please. Please. Please. ‘Call it an intervention.’
‘An intervention? Why?’
Jenna smoothed her sister’s hair and touched her cheek. This woman had loved her and protected her and supported her, even when Jenna didn’t want supporting and would have preferred to fester in her sad, lonely bed. She’d do damned near anything to make her happy. ‘Because you need one. It’s with the very best of intentions. I know it’s a surprise. I know you’ll probably hate me forever. But I love you and I want you to be happy.’ She didn’t mention the jilting and Jason the ex and the bouquet-bashing Chloe had done in her Bridezilla state when her plans had been utterly dashed the first time around. ‘I know you love Vaughn and he loves you. And I know you want to be married.’ Because she’d spent so long planning and dreaming over her last intended nuptials.
Chloe turned to Vaughn. She was shaking, but it didn’t look anger-induced. ‘Do you want to?’
‘Hell yes. You know I do.’ He kissed the top of her head and then her mouth. For a long time.
Jenna tapped him on the shoulder. Time was ticking and the celebrant had other things to do. ‘Ahem. No one’s said you can kiss the bride yet.’
‘Sorry.’ Vaughn laughed. ‘Can’t help it.’
Chloe was still staring in disbelief. ‘In my yoga clothes? You want me to walk down the aisle—lovely aisle by the way.’ Chloe knew understated chic when she saw it, and the book group girls had done a fabulous job. Across the ceiling, they’d strung palest pink and gold bunting to match the curtains. A myriad of candles were lit so there was a flickering soft glow over the ribbon-adorned white chairs set out in two rows. An aisle down the centre led to a small white table, Jenna’s crafted posies, two standin rings courtesy of Nick, and the celebrant. ‘In Lycra?’
‘Don’t be silly, we’ve got a dress and shoes. And food.’ Jenna pointed to the side table where there were piles of sandwiches, samosas, cakes, tarts, canapescanapés, nibbles and a beautiful iced wedding cake. ‘I know you’re scared. It’s okay to feel that way, but Vaughn’s here and he’s not going to run.’ She turned to her soon-to-be brother-in-law. ‘You’d better not or I’ll kill you.’
He planted his feet firmly on the floor. ‘I’m here. Forever. I love you, Chloe. Let’s do this.’
‘I love you, Vaughn.’ A tear ran down Chloe’s face. Then another. She turned to the breathless guests. ‘I love you all, thank you. Thank you so much. I’m… I’m stunned.’
Jenna let out the longest held breath ever. Another thing for the Guinness Book of Records. She took her sister’s hand and squeezed. It had worked. It had been worth it. Every worry-fed, catastrophising moment. ‘Better get you dressed up then? Come on.’
*
If anyone was going to pull this off, it was Jenna. Her sweet nature and good intentions had succeeded and won her sister over.
Nick watched in awe. Because, frankly, if anyone had done this to him, he’d have killed them, but Vaughn and Chloe took it in their stride… after the initial shock. It had taken a lot of hedging to get Vaughn here, and it would take some work to get his new friend to trust him again. Still, as Jenna kept saying, it was for their own good.
What did he know? He was just the unpaid hired help. Hot damn, he knew he was more than that. A whole lot more, but if he kep
t on telling himself that was all he was to Jenna, then maybe that ache in his chest might go away.
He flicked on the music system and breathed a sigh of relief the happy couple weren’t walking down the aisle to “The Lion Sleeps Tonight.” Because, judging by the selection of family and friend tunes, anything could have happened.
But Chloe started to walk down the aisle with Evie at her side to a beautiful love song that set the mood perfectly. Nick knew nothing about wedding dresses but imagined the women here were swooning at the dress Chloe’s mum had made for her. Not one of those long ones with a train halfway down the aisle, it was knee-length, like something from the Great Gatsby. A luminous white. Shimmery. And the little girl’s was cute too. Then, that wasn’t hard for Evie.
His heart twinged. He’d had a glimpse of what it would be like to be a father the other night, and it had made his chest ache more. The breathless wonder of a little girl’s trust, the punch to the solar plexus of pride as she slipped her hand into his, the breath of weight on his feet. Then that giggle…
Gah. He was getting soft. And that was when you stopped assessing the risk, when you forgot about how close you were getting, letting your guard down…. Then the heart hurt blindsided you.
Close on their heels came Jenna. In fifteen minutes, she’d created a miracle with her hair, which was now in sexy, loose curls framing her face, and slipped on a dress in the same style as her sister’s but in a green that matched her eyes. Amazing. Stunning. She had little pearls entwined in her hair. Sparkly, glittery stuff on her face and the smile of someone who knew deep in her heart that she had done a very good thing.
‘Thank you,’ she whispered as she slipped into the space next to him. ‘I couldn’t have done this without you.’
But she could have. She’d have made it happen. She could do anything, she just needed to have a little more faith in herself. He hoped that at least he’d done one good thing and planted a seed of self-love in her. If that grew, she’d be doubly amazing, if that were even possible.
Something About You (Something Borrowed Series Book 2) Page 19