Meg at Sixteen

by Susan Beth Pfeffer

  “You’re right, and I’m sorry,” Meg said. “I should have thanked you right away. I’m very grateful, Clark.”

  “That’s better,” he said. “And yes, I found your precious Nicky.”

  “Where is he?” Meg asked. “Is he all right?”

  “He’s on our stretch of beach,” Clark replied. “We both thought it might be safer there. Do you have any idea what you asked of me, Meg? I had to go through some unsavory parts of town to locate that boardinghouse he’s moved to. And then it took me close to an hour to convince him I wasn’t the enemy, and my offer was on the level. He thought it was some kind of trap. Nick Sebastian is a very suspicious man.”

  “But you did convince him,” Meg said. “And he’s really waiting for me.”

  “If he hasn’t caught cold,” Clark said. “You would pick a rainy night for this rendezvous.”

  “It’s only misting,” Meg said. “You have no idea how good the rain feels on my arms.”

  “Is it awful being locked up?” Clark asked. “I had the measles once when I was a kid, and I wasn’t allowed out of my room for a couple of weeks, but it was wintertime, and I don’t remember minding. It must be different in the summer. And of course you aren’t sick.”

  Meg wished Clark would keep quiet and just let her enjoy the air and the anticipation of seeing Nick. He’s really there, she thought. He’s really waiting for me.

  “He’s not a bad sort when you talk with him,” Clark said. “That boardinghouse he’s staying in is appalling. I didn’t know they let those sorts of people into Eastgate. We’ve led very sheltered lives, Meg. I hope you realize that. We’ve been protected from the worst society has to offer.”

  “And Nick hasn’t?” Meg asked.

  “There’s a hardness to him you may not see,” Clark replied. “He tried to hide it from me, but it came through with all his questions. But his facade really is quite charming. And he’s obviously well-read. As far as I could see, his only possessions were books.”

  “I’m sure he has a nicer room at Princeton,” Meg said. She thought she spotted him on the beach, but it was just some driftwood.

  “Rooms at Princeton are all right,” Clark replied. He was going to Dartmouth himself. “Meg, don’t let him hurt you.”

  “He won’t,” Meg said. “I know you’re worried, and I really do appreciate it, Clark, but it isn’t necessary.”

  “That’s a matter of opinion,” Clark replied.

  Meg sighed. “I know I owe you a thousand thank-yous,” she said. “And a couple of massive favors. Whatever you want, I’ll do.”

  “Just marry me once you’re finished with Sebastian,” Clark said. “Or he’s finished with you, which’ll probably happen first.”

  “Why do you say that?” Meg asked. Had Nick tired of her already? Was that what Clark was trying to tell her?

  “I’m sure he’s after you for your money,” Clark said. “Once he gets his hands on it, he’ll be gone.”

  Meg laughed with relief. “You’re wrong,” she said. “Someday you’ll realize that.”

  “I hope I am wrong,” Clark said. “But I’ll stick around just in case I’m not.”

  “You won’t stick around tonight, though,” Meg said, trying to keep the anxiety out of her voice. “You’ll leave us alone, won’t you?”

  “I intend to stay close by,” Clark replied. “To see to it you’re safe. What do you really know about him, Meg? He could be a rapist or a murderer, and then where would I be?”

  “In better shape than me,” Meg said, but she knew Clark would never give way on this issue. “You can watch us, if it makes you feel better, but we need privacy to talk. You have to give us that.” She longed for the day when she could stop begging.

  “All right,” Clark said. “But I’ll be in earshot if you start screaming.”

  “Thank you,” Meg said. She turned to kiss Clark on the cheek, but then she saw Nick, and she ran toward him.

  Nick spotted her at the same time, and he raced to her side as well. They were together, embracing, within seconds. Clark, alas, was there moments later.

  “I’ve already told Meg,” he said. “I’m going to be standing right over there, watching you, the entire time you’re together. So don’t get any ideas, Sebastian.”

  “Fine,” Nick said. “All right. Whatever you say.” He smiled at Meg, who lost herself in his happiness.

  “Right over there,” Clark said, pointing to a spot a couple of hundred feet away. When he decided his point had been made, he walked away from them, then stood at conspicuous attention on the designated location.

  Nick and Meg embraced again, and then kissed. The kiss convinced Meg that somehow, everything would work out.

  “I was so afraid I’d never see you again,” Meg whispered. “Hold me, Nicky. Don’t let me go.”

  “I was a fool,” Nick said. “A fool and a coward. I should have just gone to your aunt, demanded to see you.”

  “No,” Meg said. “That would have been the worst thing you could have done. Are you all right? Clark says you’re in an awful boardinghouse.”

  Nick laughed. “I’ve been in worse,” he said. “I don’t think Clark is much of a connoisseur of boardinghouses.”

  “I wish I could be there with you,” Meg said.

  “Clark says she’s keeping you locked up,” Nick said. “Is that true?”

  “It’s true enough,” Meg replied. “But I’m here with you now.”

  “Has she hurt you?” Nick asked.

  It took Meg a moment to realize what he was asking. “She hasn’t hit me,” she said. “Aunt Grace doesn’t hit. She doesn’t even ask her servants to hit.”

  “I didn’t know,” Nick said. “I was scared. I kept picturing her striking you.”

  “That will never happen,” Meg said. “Don’t ever worry about that again.”

  Nick kissed her. “I’ve wanted you so much,” he said.

  “I know,” Meg said. “All I think about is you. I was so afraid you’d left Eastgate, but I kept hoping maybe the Sinclairs had decided to invite you back. Have you spoken to them?”

  Nick laughed harshly. Meg wondered if she’d ever be able to remove the pain from that sound. “Mrs. Sinclair paid me a call,” he said. “She suggested that if I was no longer interested in her daughter, perhaps I could move back in and show some interest in her instead.”

  “Did she really?” Meg asked. She knew Nick was beautiful, but she’d never thought to worry that somebody’s mother might think so as well.

  “It was no big deal,” Nick replied. “I’ve had offers like that before. I turned her down politely, but I doubt she’ll have many nice things to say about me. I guess I won’t be seeing much of Robert back at Princeton.”

  For the moment, Meg didn’t care about Robert Sinclair. “Do you always turn those offers down?” she asked. “All the ones from older women?”

  “I’ve turned them down,” Nick said. “I’m not a gigolo, Daisy. And Grace isn’t a child beater. We’ve both learned something today.”

  “I love you,” Meg said. “I can’t believe I’ve been standing here talking with you for five minutes already, and I hadn’t even remembered to tell you that.”

  “You’ve shown me,” Nick said. “You are a miracle, Daisy. Do you have any idea how wonderful you are?”

  “No,” Meg admitted. “I can’t get over the idea that you love me. You do love me, don’t you, Nicky?”

  “Now and forever,” Nick said, and they kissed to prove it.

  Meg laughed softly in the mist. “We’re some pair,” she said. “Do you think we’ll ever get used to the idea of each other?”

  “I don’t think so,” Nick replied. “I don’t see how I can ever get used to happiness.”

  “I know,” Meg said. “I was dead before I met you. I went through the motions, did all the things I was supposed to do, but inside me there was nothing. Just a residue of fear. Then there you were, and suddenly I could feel again, joy and excitement
. Hold on to me, Nicky. Don’t ever let me go.”

  “I love you,” Nick said. “And somehow or another, we’ll work things out, and I’ll see to it that you’re always happy. You deserve so much, Daisy. All the happiness there is in this world.”

  “We’ll share it,” Meg said. “Oh Nicky, I wish I could hold on to you like this forever. Well, maybe not in the rain.” She laughed softly with the joy of being in his arms.

  “How much time do we have?” Nick asked.

  “Not much,” Meg replied. “I have to be back by two, but I don’t think Clark will let me stay that long. He’s worried, and he’s right to be, and I’ve imposed on him so much already. We have to talk, Nicky. We have to work things out.”

  Nick nodded. “What’s going on?” he asked. “Has Grace given you any idea of when she’s going to free you?”

  “This is complicated,” Meg said. “She hired detectives to write a report on you. It should be delivered in ten days or so. She’s hoping I’ll read it, and be so shocked I’ll come to my senses. Then I’m supposed to beg her forgiveness, and show her my gratitude for the way she kept me from destroying my life.”

  “Why do bullies always expect gratitude?” Nick asked. “I used to wonder about that with my stepfather.”

  “I guess they feel if we’re grateful, it means they’re right,” Meg said. “But Aunt Grace really isn’t nearly as bad as your stepfather.”

  “That doesn’t sound too bad,” Nick declared. “You read the report, and then you act the way she wants you to. I’m a cad and she’s a saint. If you can fool her, she’ll give you your freedom, and then somehow we’ll manage to see each other.”

  Meg knew Nick was right, but she didn’t care for his attitude anyway. “Is there anything in that report I won’t know about?” she asked. “Anything I really will be shocked over?”

  Nick thought for a moment. “I’m sure there won’t be,” he said. “Grace is going to hate it that I’m a bastard. No, that isn’t true. She’ll love it. Her only disappointment will be that my father is a banker, and not a sailor or a lumberjack.”

  “He’s a banker?” Meg asked.

  “Very respectable,” Nick replied. “What did your father do?”

  “He went through his inheritance,” Meg said. “That’s why I don’t have any money.”

  “Was he happy?” Nick asked.

  “Oh yes,” Meg replied. “He was very happy.”

  “Then he did the right thing,” Nick said. “We’ll work things out. I’ll stay on in Eastgate, and we’ll find a way to see each other. It should be easier once the school year starts. Girls can always find ways to slip out of boarding schools.”

  Meg shook her head. “There’s more,” she said. “And it’s going to make you angry. You have to promise you won’t get too upset, no matter what I tell you.”

  “I don’t know,” Nick replied. “What are you going to tell me?”

  Meg tried to smile. “There’s bad news, and there’s worse news,” she said. “The bad news is, I’m not going back to Miss Arnold’s. They’re sending me to a boarding school in England instead. It sounds like it has twelve-foot walls and barbed-wire windows, and I’ll be there for the next two years. If I behave myself, they may let me out for vacations.”

  “England,” Nick said. “Well, that isn’t surprising. They figure if they put some distance between us, we’ll fall apart. Maybe I can spend my junior year abroad, if I can get the money together.”

  “That might hurt worse,” Meg said. “Knowing you were in the same country, and we couldn’t even see each other. I don’t know. It’s not for another year yet anyway.”

  “You said that was the bad part,” Nick said. “What could be worse?”

  Meg stared out at the ocean. She knew she couldn’t face Nick and tell him. “She’s threatening to put me in a sanitarium,” she whispered. It hurt too much to say the words out loud, even with just Nick and the sea gulls to hear her.

  “What?” Nick said.

  The mist had turned into a soft but steady rain. Meg felt the drops mingle with her tears. “She’s worried that I’m crazy,” she said. “I think it’s more Uncle Marcus’s idea. It’s all arranged, though. They’re on twenty-four-hour alert if they’re needed.”

  “They would do that to you?” Nick asked. “Just because you love me?”

  Meg nodded. “They don’t understand,” she said. “They don’t know you. You scare them somehow.”

  “You’re the one who scares them,” Nick replied. “Because you have feelings. They’re not used to that, and it frightens them. Oh Daisy, what have I done to you.”

  “You’ve given me life,” Meg said. “You’ve loved me.”

  “That isn’t enough,” Nick said. “You’re wrong, Daisy. They are worse than my stepfather. I swear to you, if they even try to have you committed, I’ll kill them. I’ll see them dead before they do that to you.”

  Meg knew Nick meant it, and it terrified her. What had she done to him? What was he willing to risk for her love?

  “It’ll be all right,” she said. “I think it’s just a threat so I won’t make too big a fuss over the new school. There’d be a scandal if I were put away. Too many people would know and talk about it. They hate that. When my parents died, well, it wasn’t their fault, but there was a lot of talk, and Uncle Marcus and Aunt Grace hated it. They just want me to be afraid.”

  Nick kissed her. “You’re the bravest person I know,” he said. “They’re fools to think they can break you.”

  “They don’t want to break me,” Meg said. “Not the way you mean. They want me to be someone I’m not, and they don’t know how to make me into that person, so they’re trying all kinds of crazy things. They’d say they’re just trying to protect me, and they’d mean it, too.”

  “You’re too kind to them,” Nick said. “They don’t deserve you.” He laughed. “But then again, neither do I. All right. She shows you the report, and you act all horrified, and then we take it from there. Can you do that? It almost makes me wish I hadn’t been honest with you, so you really might be upset. You’re the first person I’ve ever been honest with. Maybe I was wrong.”

  “Shush,” Meg said. “You were right. I love you, and I don’t need your pretty stories. I hate the thought of pretending, but if that’s what I have to do, then I’ll do it.”

  “It’s only for a couple of years,” Nick said. “Once you’re eighteen, we can be together.”

  “Do we have to wait that long?” Meg asked. She clenched her hands into fists and forced herself to be as brave as Nick thought she was. “In my room tonight, well, I had nothing else to do except think, so I thought a lot, and it occurred to me, we could elope right now. Well, not this very minute, because Clark would never let us, but in a few days. You could help me escape, and we could go to some state where sixteen-year-olds can get married without parental consent, and then Aunt Grace couldn’t do anything, like send me away to school, or put me in a sanitarium, because I’d be your wife. I’d quit school and get a job, and you could finish college. I know it wouldn’t be Princeton, but at least we’d be together. Couldn’t we, Nicky? Couldn’t we do that?”

  “You’d give up everything like that?” Nick asked. “Just for me?”

  “I have nothing to give up,” Meg said.

  “That isn’t true,” Nick declared. “You have a lot. They just don’t seem important to you right now, but you have family and friends and social position and money. You’d be giving all that up for me.”

  “Gladly,” Meg said. “Please, Nicky. Please say yes.”

  Nick shook his head. “It seems like the right thing to do tonight, in the rain,” he said. “But tomorrow morning, you may not think so. We don’t have to decide tonight. Maybe things will work out for us some other way. Maybe Grace will come to her senses, realize she’s risking losing you. Let’s just see how it goes before we decide on anything.”

  Meg knew Nick was right, but she felt disappointed anyway. Nick
saw it in her face, and kissed her. “I love you,” he said. “And I want you, and I want to be your husband. Don’t doubt that, Daisy. Don’t ever doubt that.”

  “I won’t,” she said, and felt relieved and happy in his arms. “Kiss me again, and then I should go.”

  Nick nodded. They shared one last kiss, and then Meg forced herself to walk away from him, toward Clark. She wanted to turn around and stare at Nick, but she was afraid she’d never leave if she did, so she kept her back to him and thought only about how safe she felt with him, how loved, how happy.

  Clark had the kindness not to speak until they were far away from Nick. “Do you feel better?” he asked then. “Was it worth the risk?”

  “Much better,” Meg said. “He loves me.”

  “That’s not hard to do,” Clark said.

  Meg smiled. “We even talked about getting married,” she said. “Now, this summer, if we have to.”

  “You’re a fool,” Clark said, and he kept quiet for the rest of the walk back to Grace’s, back to the locked room.

  CHAPTER EIGHT

  “Come, Margaret. We don’t want to be late.”

  “No, Aunt Grace,” Meg replied, and picked up her pace. She’d been walking slowly on purpose, so Aunt Grace wouldn’t see how excited she was to be let out of the house. But if Aunt Grace wanted speed, then speed she’d get.

  “There’s no need for you to run,” Aunt Grace promptly declared. “We’re going to church, not the racetrack. Take ladylike steps, Margaret.”

  “Yes, Aunt Grace,” Meg said, trying to match her steps to Grace’s. She hadn’t been running or anything close to it, so it was wrong of Aunt Grace to claim she had. Maybe all those years Grace had accused her of mumbling and stooping, Meg hadn’t mumbled or stooped even once. It was a heady thought.

  “I trust you will behave yourself,” Aunt Grace said as they climbed into the car that would drive them the mile or so to church.