Raw: Rebirth (Raw Family, #3)

by Belle Aurora

  He smiled a toothy grin a second before his brow knitted, just like his father’s. “Why was Daddy walking around the house this morning?”

  My gut sank.

  Oh, fuck my life.

  “He was...” Ah, shit. I couldn’t think. My palms were sweating. “He was checking for spiders.”

  “Oh,” said A.J., as if he completely understood.

  Whelp, if he did understand, I was hoping he’d explain it to me because I had no freaking idea what I was talking about.

  Julius choked on a laugh. “Real pest problem in this house.”

  I scowled at his smirking face. “It would seem so.”

  A.J. was completely oblivious to any and all innuendo his uncle Julius was giving off. “Can I please watch TV now?”

  Oh, God, yes. “Sure, honey. Go for it.”

  When my child was out of sight, I turned back to my so-called friends and watched as they grinned widely in my direction. With a grunt, I walked over to the coffee machine and turned it on. As I did, a small smile pulled at my lips. “Oh, shut up.”

  Later that day, after I’d showered and covered the small hickey on my neck, I went to the store, leaving A.J. in Molly’s care. When I returned, it was no surprise that Twitch was on my living room floor, playing Guess Who with his son.

  “Hi,” I called out as I walked the hall with a grocery bag in each hand.

  “Hi, Mummy,” said A.J., looking down at the game.

  Twitch jerked his chin toward me. “Need a hand?”

  I smiled politely. “I’m good.”

  While I unpacked the groceries, I heard Twitch speak to his son. “Bud, I need to talk to your mom a second. Why don’t you go find Molly?”

  Just as he walked into the kitchen, I popped the pills into my mouth and sipped some water, swallowing them down. He looked down at the packet. That was fine; I wasn’t hiding it. Not from him.

  He held the box up. “What’s this?”

  I shrugged lightly. “Plan B.” His brow furrowed, so I went on, “Emergency contraceptive.” His brow pulled even lower, and I uttered quietly, “I’m not on birth control, Tony, and you...” How did he phrase it? “...made a deposit. This’ll make sure a baby isn’t conceived.”

  His face turned impassive as he processed what I was saying. “So,” he started, “no more babies?”

  It was a question asked in a way that implied he assumed we wanted more children.

  My heart stopped, then started again with a jolt.

  I asked the question cautiously. “You want more babies?”

  Twitch twisted to look into the family room where A.J. was now battling Molly in a game of Guess Who. What he said made me melt. “Look at him. Look how perfect he is.” He took in a deep breath and let it out slowly. “I could have another ten of those, at the very least.” He twisted back to me. “We’re not gettin’ any younger, baby. This might be our only opportunity.”

  I liked the sound of that so much that it made me irrationally angry. And because I was angry, I needed someone to take it out on. “Well, yeah, Twitch. I’d love more kids, but I’m not prepared to do it alone.” My mouth pulled down into a frown. “I don’t even know how I got through it the first time around. Everything was a blur. I was mourning and medicated, and I was in no state to have that beautiful boy.” My heart began to race. “I was in such a bad state that I was robbed of my own wishes. I couldn’t give birth naturally because I was too weak, mentally and physically. I couldn’t breastfeed because my milk supply never came in. I wanted those things—” I scowled at him. “—and you took them from me.”

  His jaw steeled. He didn’t speak.

  “So, what?” I asked. “What’s the plan? You’re just going to come back every five years and impregnate me? Is that it?” My heart was racing. “Miss out on all the hard stuff and come back to enjoy your children when they’re fun?” I shook my head. “Like I said, yeah, I wanted more children, and maybe some day I’ll have them.” I shouldn’t have said what I did. “But not with you.”

  Molly, feeling the tension in the kitchen, stood and said to A.J., “Little dude, come see the bird’s nest I found.” The little monster followed her into the backyard, leaving me alone with the man who broke my heart.

  Twitch looked tired. “What the fuck do I have to do to convince you I’m not going anywhere?” He took a step closer, his eyes imploring. “Tell me what I need to do and I’ll do it.”

  I shook my head slowly. “No, you don’t get to do that.” My eyes settled on his. “You don’t get to be upset when the person who would have given her goddamn life for you no longer trusts you. You’re at fault here, not me.”

  He spun on me, giving me his back, and I knew he was fighting to control himself.

  My voice came out weary. “I was your ride or die, Tony. I would have done anything for you. And you left me.” My soul was still hurting. “You left me with a broken heart, a child, and a fucking tombstone.” I let out a humorless laugh. “Not only that, but you made me believe you were my hero, that you saved me.” This was not something I would just get over. “That’s so messed up.”

  When he turned to face me again, his face was drawn. “If I could go back—”

  I rolled my eyes. “You’d have never done it. I know.”

  But he shook his head. His tone was black. “Do it all over again.” I frowned as he went on. “To keep you safe, to keep my son safe, I would sacrifice everything. Even my own life.” My face turned passive as he dealt his parting blow. “You don’t fucking get it, do you, angel?” He looked miserable. “The few hours I spend with you are worth the thousand I spent without you.”

  My heart panged at his uncharacteristically open admission.

  He looked at me a long moment before he lowered his gaze and moved. I watched him walk down the hall and out the door.

  Maybe I was being too hard on him.

  Unfortunately, I just didn’t have it in me to care.

  Nostalgia had me taking a detour on the way home. Regrettably, what was meant to be a reassuring and comforting trip ended up being traumatic in so many ways I could barely function.

  I came home sobbing, and when I parked my car, I marched across the road and slammed my fist on his door.

  The second he answered, he took in my red, blotchy face and his eyes widened in panic. “What happened?” He gripped my arms and spoke softly. “Where’s A.J.?”

  “A.J.’s fine.” I sniffled. “He’s with Molly.” Fresh tears flowed, and I took my hand, pounding my fist onto his chest, as I ground out, “You tell them to put it back!”

  He grasped my hands in his, holding them firmly as his brow furrowed. “What? Put what back? Who?”

  But I wasn’t in the mood. “You know what I’m talking about.” I choked on a sob. “I want it back. Now.”

  He held my hands in his, rubbing them gently. “I need you to talk to me, angel. Explain this to me.”

  My wretched sob was barely audible. “The headstone.” I blinked through my tears. “You tell them to put it back. It wasn’t theirs to take.”

  And as if a bulb lit up over his head, his body slumped and he sighed softly. “They finally took it.”

  My voice was rough. “There’s nothing left. They dug it up. It’s gone”

  The entire grave was gone, like the last six years hadn’t happened. As if my mourning was all in my mind and it wasn’t warranted. My head was a mess.

  How dare they?

  That gravestone meant something to me, and they couldn’t have it.

  “Baby.” His brow furrowed as he continued to caress my hands. “Why are you so upset about this?”

  “Because,” I started, swiping at my cheeks. “Because when you leave us again, it’s all A.J. will have left.” My body shook with the force of my soul-wracking cries. “Because it’s all I’ll have left of you.” I panted hard, snatching my hand from his and pounding it onto his chest once more. “It’s mine. I want it back!”

  Twitch’s face fell,
and as I took out my anger on his hard, unyielding chest, he wrapped his arms around me, pulling me into his strong body while I fell apart. I cried hard, without shame, and as I took in an unsteady breath, I let out a shattered, “Don’t leave us. Not again.”

  What I meant was, “Don’t leave me.”

  He had to know I wouldn’t live through it. Not a second time.

  What he said did not appease me. It wasn’t a promise. It was hardly a vow. “I swear to you I will never leave you.” He pressed his lips to my temple. “Not willingly.”

  And I knew why he couldn’t give me more than that.

  It was because he was Antonio “Twitch” Falco, a man who was once a king in this city. And now that word was spreading about his return, there would be some who would go so far to make sure he never stepped up to challenge the throne ever again.

  It was because bullets spoke louder than words.

  Chapter

  Twenty-Two

  Lexi

  A.J. was readying himself for school when Twitch walked into the house like he owned the place. From his room, A.J. called out, “Daddy?”

  His tired eyes smiled as he walked over to the coffee pot, pouring two mugs. “I’m here, bud.”

  This was part of our routine lately. Twitch would drop A.J. off at school and pick him up, and he did this most days, without Molly. Molly, of course, had quite a bit to say about that to the man himself. She accused him of vying for her job, and I couldn’t help but laugh at her scathing accusation. She really was adorable. As if I’d ever turn her loose. She was more than just an employee. Molly was family.

  It was so hard to give Twitch even a pinch of my trust, but I knew if we were going to make this work, eventually Twitch would have to be trusted with his son alone. And if I were being honest, after seeing how he interacted with our little monster, I didn’t think he would ever do anything to hurt him. When it came to our son, Twitch always seemed to put him first, which was a relief.

  As the man in question passed me in the kitchen, he pressed his long, hard body into the back of mine and lowered his head to kiss my cheek. “Mornin’, angel.” He placed the second mug of coffee onto the counter in front of me like an offering to the shrine of a goddess.

  My heart was aflutter.

  Jerk.

  I was also not in the mood. My lips thinned as I turned on him, and when I saw how the move had positioned us, I immediately regretted it. We were close. A little too close. Twitch held onto the counter, blocking me in, and when my eyes darted around in panic, his eyes crinkled in the corners, knowing I was caged.

  My voice was quiet but irritated, and my eyes narrowed on him. “Why are you being so nice to me? You were never this nice to me. I would beg for you to be nice to me and you still wouldn’t.” I peeked out at the side of his large frame to make sure no one was coming. “So what gives?”

  Was I spoiling for a fight? Yeah.

  Was Twitch going to give that to me? No.

  Slipping one arm around my back, he gently tugged on my braid, forcing my head up, and when he spoke, my reserve shattered. “Spent six years without you. Six years thinking about everything I should have done when I had the chance. Six years of guilt. Six years of regret. I left one way and came back another. I’m a changed man.”

  When my brow furrowed, I whispered, “But you still like what you like.”

  Clearly, his bedroom tastes hadn’t changed.

  I stated this meaningfully and his eyes laughed. “I said I’ve changed, baby, not that I’m a fuckin’ saint.”

  When my lips parted and I glanced up at his beautifully full mouth, he took a miniscule step closer, putting our bodies impossibly close, and spoke quietly, “Don’t think I haven’t noticed you avoiding my mouth.”

  Ah, crap. I thought I was being so discreet. I faltered on my response. “The other night, you—” I swallowed hard. “—you could have demanded a kiss, and I....” I would have. I would have given him anything.

  But Twitch shook his head slowly, meaningfully. “Was never into forcing women. It doesn’t get me off. And forcing you?” His jaw tightened. “I’d rather off myself.” He lifted both hands to frame my face adoringly. “I only ever want you willing. I want you to want me so much it fucking hurts.” It already does. “I want you to think about me all the time.” I rarely think of anything but you. “I want to star in your dreams.” Every night, baby. He ran his thumb over my soft lips. “I want you to give me that mouth more than anything, because—fuck me—I haven’t thought about much else other than those smiling angel lips on mine.” He released me, stepping back. “But I want you to want it too.”

  I did.

  I do! Come back!

  Molly walked into the kitchen, pausing when she saw how close we stood staring into each other’s eyes. Her brows arched and she threw a thumb back over her shoulder. “If you need a minute, I can come back.”

  “Nah, were good,” uttered Twitch before rounding on the little woman, looking down at her with a knowing look. “I heard some little shit was bothering my boy.” His eyes narrowed on her. “A.J. tells me you brought some of your friends to pick him up one day. Big friends. Tats of their faces kind of friends.” He straightened to full height, folding his arms across his chest, looking more vengeful god than man. “I know you didn’t take members of D.M.S. to my son’s school to beat up on a little girl.”

  Molly paled, which was strange, because she was rather dark-skinned. “I didn’t ask them there to beat her up. Shit, she’s five. I just wanted them to scare her a little, not lay into her. They just stood there, I swear.” Her face turned solemn quickly enough. “Besides—” Her lip curled. “—she deserved it.”

  But Twitch’s eyes continued to watch her a long moment before his lips lifted in the corners. “Stone-cold bitch.” He laid a crooked smile on her and I was jealous of it. He pointed at her, waving that finger in her direction. “I knew I liked you, Molly.”

  As Molly relaxed, I rolled my eyes. “Don’t encourage her. It was an irresponsible move.”

  But Twitch moved to stand next to her—in a show of support, I suppose. “No. It was a bold move, and if she cares that much about our son, I can’t fault her. I’d do the same.”

  And for the first time since his arrival, Molly blinked up at him in awe.

  Shit.

  He had won her over.

  Great. Just great.

  It was getting a little lonely out on my ledge while Twitch continued to invite people inside. I was starting to get the feeling that almost everyone was okay with him being back. I needed to talk to people of a like mind, and luckily, I was meeting them for dinner.

  “Hey.” I smiled, walking into the Indian restaurant.

  Nikki smiled sadly as she hugged me tightly. “Hey, girl. How are you?”

  Dave stood and embraced me, pressing a soft kiss to my head. “We’ve been worried about you but didn’t want to push.” He looked down at me sympathetically. “I know it’s been a struggle.”

  A struggle. What an understatement.

  With a heavy sigh, I took a seat at the table and waved him off. “Don’t even worry about it. It’s been...” I searched for the word. “...chaotic.” Yes. That would do. But before we began, I took a glass of water from the table and sipped at it. “How are things with you guys?” They looked at each other a moment before dropping their matching gazes of sadness. My gut sank. “How’s Happy?”

  Nikki forced a smile. “Things are okay. He’s good.”

  “Things are not okay.” Dave couldn’t even look at me. “He moved out.”

  “What?” I leaned in, shocked. My mouth gaped. “What happened?”

  Nikki shrugged but kept her too wide smile pasted on her face. “I don’t know really.”

  Dave sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. “I asked him to move out.” When he looked at me, his eyes were sad. “I’m not coping well.”

  Nikki’s smile fell. She looked devastated as she put her hand to Dave’s arm i
n support. “It’s been hard on all of us.”

  He looked at her dotingly and placed his hand on hers, as he whispered, “I’m sorry.”

  She shook her head and a sad smile graced her lips. She spoke just as quietly, “It’s okay.”

  My heart was breaking for them. I know what Happy had done was wrong. He’d lied to us, and he’d done it for five years. But they didn’t know the precarious situation Twitch had put him in. They didn’t know the unwritten rules of the underworld. They didn’t understand how important it was for Happy to keep the ruse going. And they likely never would.

  They would never understand that the three unlikely brothers would never truly be out of the underground’s fold. It was something you either accepted, or you didn’t. I felt the need to expand on that out loud.

  Letting out a dejected sigh, I uttered, “This world they live in, the roots run deep.” When they both looked at me, I picked up my straw and stirred the icy water, speaking on. “It runs deep in their veins. It’s more a part of them than this life, than normal life,” I clarified. “Normal to Twitch, Julius, and Happy is just another setting on the washer.” I laughed humorlessly. My lips turned down into a frown. “It doesn’t exist for them.” I peered up at my best friends, hoping they would fathom what I was saying here. “They’re trying to have a taste of that life, but it’s not going to be easy. They’ll forever have targets on their heads. They’ll occasionally lie for what they deem the greater good. They come with a warning label attached to them. They all do, and if you can’t handle that, you need to break it off.”

  Dave thought about my words. His expression went from mildly dumbfounded to spooked then finally settled on annoyed. “Because that’s not scary at all.” He picked up his beer and took a pull from it before signaling for another. “Thank you, Lexi.” He shook his head, his lips thin. “Thanks a lot.”

  The glass of wine I ordered came, as Nikki asked an incredulous, “And you’re okay with being lied to?”

  I held up my wine glass in salute. “Don’t ask, don’t tell.” I chugged that mothertrucker down, showing just how not okay I was with that.