Steph nodded vigorously, oblivious to Zoe and Gray’s conversation as she stared into space. ‘Because,’ she said, her voice high-pitched, ‘we have a wedding coming up, you know. The world can’t end before I get married. That would just be … Vi? You have to save the world. You can do that, right?’
I put a hand on her shoulder and fought to keep my expression serious as I looked into her glassy eyes. ‘Steph, your wedding day will be perfect. Nothing and no one will ruin it. Got it?’
She exhaled. ‘Got it.’
Everyone went back to eating their breakfast, chewing on this latest information as much as their cereal – the big question being: where did Sammael fit in to all of this? Max stopped by the table to let us know Josephine had scheduled a meeting for later in the morning.
Steph shuffled her chair closer to me and lowered her voice. ‘That’s the fifth time you’ve looked at the door in the past thirty seconds. Expecting someone?’
I lifted my cup to cover my mouth as I spoke. ‘No. Yes. I don’t know.’ I sighed. ‘Last night after my group of visitors disappeared back to … wherever it is they go, I had another one.’
Steph choked on her mouthful of orange juice. ‘Details!’
I slumped further into my chair. ‘Shh! Just rehashing a lot of things I would’ve preferred to have left buried.’
I was still reeling from the night before and I’d barely slept more than a few minutes here and there after Lincoln had left my room following his never leaving me again bombshell. It was safe to say I might never sleep again given the way the words were stuck repeating in my head like the song that just won’t go away.
‘Here he comes,’ Steph said under her breath, her eyes flicking towards the cafeteria entrance. I turned slightly to see Lincoln striding straight towards us. When he stopped in front of Gray I tensed, worried for all the obvious reasons, but Lincoln just put out his hand.
Unsure, Gray glanced at me then slowly clasped Lincoln’s hand.
‘I owe you an apology,’ Lincoln said, causing more than a few people to pause and listen in. ‘You’ve had Vi’s back for the past year when she needed someone. I shouldn’t have jumped to conclusions.’
Gray shook his hand. ‘No hard feelings.’
Lincoln smirked. ‘Although I still owe you one for your dirty-handed tactics in the hall yesterday,’ he said.
Gray shrugged. ‘Tell me you wouldn’t have done the same.’
Lincoln laughed. ‘Perhaps. Nonetheless, you deserve my gratitude not attitude.’
Zoe snorted. ‘Since when did you start rhyming?’
Lincoln smiled and it seemed different, almost boyish. ‘Well, Zoe, you can expect a lot of things to change around here.’ He looked at Morgan, who had just arrived and was sitting down beside me. ‘Would you mind? I need to discuss a few things with Vi.’
The way he was now saying my name was so raw; the only time he’d used it like that had been at the cabin, when we’d thrown all caution to the wind. At least, that was what I’d thought. Lincoln had already devised his plan for everything by then.
I glared at Morgan as she cheerfully leaped out of the seat.
Traitor.
It wasn’t lost on anyone that there had been a definite shift in Lincoln’s behaviour between last night and this morning.
‘What are you doing here?’ I gritted between my teeth, dreading what everyone was probably thinking.
‘I live here.’ Lincoln leaned in close but spoke freely, unconcerned with who heard. ‘And I thought I made myself clear last night. I’m not letting you go again.’
‘Someone should record this for Onyx,’ Zoe threw in.
When I turned a horrified look on her she raised her hands in surrender. ‘What? He’ll only make us retell the whole conversation a dozen times if we don’t.’
Christ. She actually has a point.
I pushed back my chair suddenly, putting distance between us and ignoring the sharp grinding sound that echoed through the large cafeteria. ‘There’s a meeting in the hall in a few hours to start assembling the team going to New Orleans.’
‘Max told me,’ Lincoln responded, accepting a coffee one of the staff had brought over to him.
No one delivered my coffee.
I nodded. ‘Good. Well, I have something I need to do first.’ Seeing his expression, I quickly added, ‘In private. I’ll meet you there.’
Deciding that was that, I collected my bag, swiped a croissant from the table and turned around, only to find Lincoln now standing, blocking my path with a twinkle in his eye. Before I could ask him to move out of my way, he grabbed me around the waist and dipped me, following me down, his mouth coming dangerously close to mine.
I froze, caught in the moment for a second before I came to my senses and pushed my hands hard against his chest. Now I was frustrated and embarrassed.
And stuck with a pounding heart I have no idea how to calm.
Lincoln had never behaved like this in public. Even when things were good.
‘Next time you try that, I’ll hurt you,’ I threatened, regaining my balance and shrugging myself free of his hold.
‘Don’t you think we’ve done enough of that? Personally, I think it’s time for something else.’ He popped a piece of bread in his mouth.
Seriously, who is this guy?
‘Such as?’
He finished his mouthful and smiled. And damn him because it was a mighty fine look on him. ‘Getting on with the rest of our lives.’ His smile widened to a megawatt beam. ‘Together,’ he added.
And the Easter Bunny and Santa Claus will come and join us for Sunday lunch, too.
I shook my head at him, suddenly weary. ‘Don’t do this. It’s not going to go the way you think. Steph?’ I called, looking down at the wide-eyed people around the table.
She nodded, quickly grabbing her books and following me out.
The moment we hit the corridors she started quizzing me. ‘What the hell happened between you two last night? You didn’t … I mean, did you?’
‘No! Of course not. Lincoln just found out some stuff and he thinks it changes things.’
‘But it doesn’t?’
‘No. It doesn’t. My future is already set, and as long as Lincoln is in my life he’s always only a heartbeat away from leaving me. I can’t live like that.’
‘’Cause life as it is, is so grand?’ Steph quipped.
When she saw my face her expression dropped. ‘Sorry, my bad. It’s just I hate to see you two like this. I mean, maybe you’re right but maybe it would be a hundred or two hundred years before anything bad happened. That’s a long stretch of happiness. No humans ever get that.’
I knew she was right, but … ‘You don’t get it, Steph. You can’t.’
‘Oh, but I do, Vi. I was there when Phoenix brought you in a breath away from death. I stood on the other side of the door helpless while he killed you, only to then realise he’d also brought you back to a world without your soulmate. I pulled you out of that shower that had burned your whole body, and then – even after you saved all those children, defeated Lilith, redeemed Phoenix and saved Lincoln – I watched you walk away. You saved everyone but yourself, and I get that you’re scared to let yourself be happy. I get that you’re scared to lose everything, but you’re ignoring what you’ll get in return.’
I looked down, fighting the conflicting emotions running through me and was tempted to just reach in and shut them off. But I didn’t. ‘It’s not that simple.’
‘But it is,’ Steph shot back. ‘Let me ask you this: if you could go back in time would you give up that one perfect night you had with Lincoln?’
I thought of the constant agony I lived in every day because of our souls being ripped apart after they’d been joined that night. And even so, the answer came easily.
‘No.’
Steph’s expression softened. ‘And are you really telling me you’d regret another night like that? Or a thousand?’
I looked up at he
r, lost. ‘I … I have responsibilities. The angels are keeping things from me again and I know it’s all coming to a head. I need to stay focused, and Lincoln will only complicate things more than I can handle.’
‘Bollocks!’ she scoffed. ‘And you know it.’
I quirked an eyebrow. ‘Gray?’
She nodded, seriously. ‘His language really rubs off.’
I sighed. ‘Steph, I don’t even know who that guy was back there. He was so …’
‘Hot?’ Steph laughed. ‘Actually, he looked a lot like a guy on a mission. One who has definitely considered the risks and formed a plan of attack. Gotta admit, it’s refreshing. He’s coming after you and let’s face it, Vi, you might’ve managed to avoid him for the past two years but now you’re face to face … any woman would be lost with the likes of him hunting them down.’
‘Why do you think I left the city before he woke up?’ I asked, feeling a small but sad smirk form. ‘And should I pass that titbit on to Salvatore?’
She rolled her eyes. ‘Oh, please! I’m getting married, not going deaf, dumb and blind.’
‘It was definitely a new side to him,’ I mused.
‘Or maybe it’s finally the honest version, without all the hang-ups. Everything is finally out in the open. I can’t help but wonder what the honest version of you might be like, too.’
It was my turn to roll my eyes. ‘I don’t have that luxury any more.’ Being with Lincoln involved a set of consequences I simply couldn’t abide by.
‘Oh, stop being a martyr!’ Steph said, stealing my description of Lincoln yesterday, along with the croissant I was still holding, before she spun and stormed down the corridor as I watched after her, blinking.
The process of passing security to gain access to the infirmary took considerably longer without Steph to clear the way. When I finally walked into the medical rooms I wasn’t surprised to find Chloe’s empty. I’d managed to fully heal her yesterday and imagined they’d released her to return to her own room. It didn’t mean a wasted trip, however, especially considering Chloe wasn’t the reason for my visit.
I took a deep breath as I knocked on the door to Nyla’s room. The moment Rainer opened the door she caught me off-guard, pulling me into a tight embrace. ‘It really is good to see you,’ she said, squeezing me one more time before letting me go. ‘You’ve become something of an elusive legend around here. Especially with the children telling their stories of how your rescued them and parted walls of fire.’
‘Don’t believe everything you hear, Rainer. Kids embellish,’ I said moving towards the bed where Nyla slept.
‘True,’ Rainer said. ‘But they can also understand the true gravity of some things, better than most adults. And Simon in particular doesn’t strike me as the type to exaggerate.’ Her eyes dropped to her hands. I glanced over at Nyla, my heart tightening at the memories of that day in Jordan when Rudyard was taken from her. ‘Violet, when we spoke last, before your trials, I was hard on you. I pushed your soul connection with Lincoln and I …’
‘You couldn’t have known what would happen, Rainer.’
‘Was there any alternative?’ she asked, her guilt still showing.
I dug my nails into my palms in hope of distraction. But nothing diverts the coldness. ‘We’ll never know. Anyway, that’s partly why I’m here.’
She looked up, but didn’t say anything.
‘I presume you know that I brought Lincoln back after his soul shattered?’
Jesus. There’s a reason I never speak about this stuff willingly.
She nodded slowly.
‘What I’m about to tell you stays between us, okay?’ I added, holding her gaze.
‘Understood,’ she said, hesitantly taking a seat.
I sat down in the chair on the other side of the bed where Nyla lay perfectly still, the white sheets tucked seamlessly around her.
Give me strength.
‘You’ve heard the stories, but not everything. When Phoenix killed and revived me, I came back to discover that Lincoln’s soul had shattered. My soul didn’t shatter completely like his.’ I half laughed in the most never-going-to-be-funny way. ‘I don’t think it knew what to do, and with Phoenix’s extra gifts making me stronger, I somehow survived. Barely. It’s like being broken into a billion pieces and yet held together by some unforgiving force.’
Rainer gasped. ‘Violet. I’m … I’m so sorry. Is it painful?’
I nodded. ‘It is. Like nothing I’ve ever known. If I didn’t have the gifts that Phoenix gave me, I don’t know if my mind could survive the intensity of the physical pain.’
Rainer looked at me with such pity; that look was the reason I never told people the truth. ‘That’s why you’re so different. So … disconnected.’
‘I suppose,’ I admitted.
One of the reasons.
‘You’re telling me to let her go,’ she said, looking to Nyla.
‘I’m telling you what you need to hear and understand before I say what I am about to now.’
She looked back at me, confused.
I continued, hoping this was the right thing. ‘I’ve given this a lot of thought, and I’ve grown a lot stronger over the past two years. When I walked by Nyla’s room yesterday, I felt something familiar.’
‘What?’ Rainer whispered.
‘You. I felt recognition of you. But also Nyla. It’s hard to explain.’ I took a breath before I continued. ‘I was able to bring Lincoln back and find him amid millions of souls because he is my soulmate. I think there’s a chance you would be able to find Nyla’s, too.’ I took another breath. ‘Because I believe you were born of the same soul. It’s not the same as what Nyla and Rudyard were, but I think, as twins, you have a unique connection.’
The colour dropped from Rainer’s face and I didn’t know if it was in dread or hope.
‘But how would I go where you went? Only you can do that.’
I licked my lips, praying I was doing the right thing. ‘I think I can take you with me. It will be dangerous, and I don’t know if it will work, but we could try. You need to understand, though, what you’re possibly sentencing her to. She might come back and be okay, like Lincoln. Or … she could be like me. She might not survive that, Rainer.’
Rainer stood and walked to the end of the bed, looking over her twin. ‘That’s a decision she’s entitled to make herself. But I know Nyla, and I know that if she can fight, she will.’
I nodded slowly. ‘Okay.’
‘Okay? What does that mean? When can we try?’
I bit my lip, knowing that soon I would head to New Orleans and I had no idea what waited for me there. ‘Lock the door.’ I tried for a smile. ‘There’s no time like the present.’
Her eyebrows shot up. ‘You can do it from here?’
‘Like I said, I’m stronger than before, and doing it close to Nyla will only help.’ I held out my hand. ‘Hold onto it and don’t let go. No matter what. I can’t guarantee I’ll be able to find you again if we lose the connection. And you’ll only get one shot at this. Do you understand?’
Rainer nodded. ‘I know the chance you’re taking, Violet. I won’t waste it.’
‘You’ll still have to find a way to connect with her. It has to be pure and only about her. Give her something that will call to her above anything else.’
She thought about this, watching me. ‘What did you give?’
I pressed my lips together, my teeth biting down hard to distract me. Finally I answered. ‘I gave my heart.’
CHaPteR eIgHteeN
‘I simply believe that some part of the human self or soul is not subject to the laws of space and time.’
Carl Jung
I was nervous. And not just because I’d never tried to take someone across the realms with me before – other than Lilith, who’d been dead and, well, just different in all the important ways.
Was I being foolish? Yes.
Was I taking a risk with Rainer’s life? Yes.
And therefo
re with Wilhelm’s partner as well? Yes.
Would I be blamed if things went wrong? Yes.
Would I feel responsible? No doubt.
Did I even want this to work? I didn’t know.
Why was I doing this? Because.
Nyla was a warrior. She was loved completely by Rudyard. I envied what they’d had.
So often I thought back to the night Griffin and I had gone hunting with them. We’d come across a small farmhouse with exiles and Nyla had gone into attack mode. It had surprised me at first that Rudyard had stood aside and let Nyla take the lead, placing herself in the most danger. I realise now that I was too naive to see that his actions showed a great love and understanding. That was his greatest sacrifice, for her. For them.
I remembered his words: ‘It will do her no favours if I throw myself in the line of fire just to be noble. Our relationship has gone beyond that.’
And so perhaps there was a chance that Nyla, broken as she was, would still choose to fight. And if I could give her that chance, I would. Because I knew better than anyone the suffering that resulted from others making life-and-death choices on your behalf.
‘Are you sure?’ Rainer asked, obviously seeing myriad thoughts flit over my face.
I nodded. Something told me the days ahead would change everything. This exile, Sammael, frightened me. That he had Spence frightened me even more. Instinct screamed that I might be walking towards my final battle.
‘There may not be another chance, Rainer. We should do this now. Close your eyes and breathe steadily; it can be unsettling.’
Rainer studied me for a moment before nodding and doing as I’d instructed. She’d read between the lines.
I took Rainer’s hand and closed my eyes. Although I had avoided doing it, I knew how to cross the realms. It was similar to using my Sight; I just hovered in a different place. Somewhere between life and possibility, between flesh and imagination.
Becoming increasingly aware of my surroundings – not the room and people but the air, the atmosphere, the gravity – slowly, I let it all fall away, all the things that anchored my body to this world. It was a strange sensation – being aware of my corporeal form and of my hand holding Rainer’s, knowing that I could take us somewhere new. Like Nox had once explained, it was like two worlds brushing together as curtains in the wind. When I was ready I simply faced the new direction and saw through the new window.
Empower: Violet Eden Chapters: Book Five Page 16