Cal had his arm around Gina, who was alternately looking happy and proud and then sporting a slightly more anxious expression as she scanned the room to see where CJ had got to.
‘He’ll be into that Pavlova,’ she warned Cal. ‘And I wouldn’t be surprised if he brings Rudolph in from the back. I’d better go and find him.’
‘I’ll come with you.’
Emily smiled at Charles again and Hamish who was beside him, fully intending to move closer and speak to them, but Mike had finally spotted her arrival. He broke away from the dancers and moved with purpose.
‘Save me,’ he implored as soon as he was close enough. ‘I’m exhausted.’
‘I’m not surprised. This is one hell of a party.’
‘It’s a Poulos party.’ Mike grinned. ‘You’d better get used to it.’ He reached to take Maria’s child from her arms. ‘And this is a Poulos baby. Beware—it spits!’
Emily laughed. She turned to shake her head as George stopped to offer her a glass of ouzo. Then her attention was caught again for a moment by the sight of the gorgeous dark-haired woman on the dance floor. She was much easier to see now because someone had lifted her onto a table and she was dancing alone, to the accompaniment of hands clapping and feet stomping all around her.
And then she turned back to Mike and her heart stopped.
He was nuzzling his nephew. Dropping kisses onto the downy head and making the kind of cooing noises generic to besotted parents. He would look exactly like that holding his own child.
If the child was alive.
The horrible knowledge, burned into Emily’s memory banks, of what it was like to hold a child that was no longer alive was way too easy to access today. Impossible to hold back, however hard she tried. And as that memory surfaced, Emily knew she could never go through that again.
Never.
Pregnancy just wasn’t an option any more. Nine months of waiting to see if one’s worst fears were going to be realised, and knowing the horror that awaited if they were, was an ordeal Emily couldn’t face.
But she couldn’t take the prospect of a family away from Mike. Or his family. The ripples would spread—just as they could do in Lucky’s case.
Maybe they could adopt, she thought wildly. Maybe, if Megan didn’t change her mind, they could adopt Lucky.
Mike was staring at her with the strangest look. ‘What’s up?’
As if Emily could have told him right then!
Not that she had the chance to say anything. George was back, determined that Emily should accept his hospitality—and his ouzo.
‘I can’t, George, but thank you. I’m on call.’
‘Always she’s on call!’ Sophie steamed towards them and received a noisy kiss on the cheek from her husband. ‘You work too hard, Emily.’ She didn’t wait for Emily to demur. She was gently tickling the baby Mike still held. ‘Isn’t he the most beautiful baby? Your babies will look just like this, Michael. If you ever get around to becoming a father!’
‘I will, Ma.’ Mike winked at Emily. ‘I promise.’
Sophia sniffed loudly. ‘We’ll see.’ She waved towards the dance floor. ‘What’s wrong with Anna, then? Beautiful girl. She’s a nurse, Michael.’
Anna had to be the gorgeous creature with the stars in her hair who was still dancing on the table. Emily swallowed hard, her gaze riveted on Mike.
‘Yes, you told me,’ he was saying.
‘She’s come all the way from Melbourne.’
‘Not just to meet me, I hope.’
And she’s Greek, Michael! What more could you want?’
Mike was making urgent signals to Emily with his eyebrows. Let me tell them, the eyebrows pleaded, and save me from being pushed into Anna’s arms.
Emily just stared back, aware that that sinking sensation in her stomach had intensified to the point of pain. Maybe that was where Mike should be pushed. Towards a gorgeous Greek girl who could produce enough healthy babies to start her own kindergarten.
‘I know exactly what I want, Ma,’ Mike said firmly. ‘And what’s more, I’ve found it. Isn’t that right, Emily?’
Heads swivelled in unison to stare at her and Emily, to her horror, had a sudden, irresistible urge to shake her head violently and deny everything. She wasn’t ready for this. She couldn’t set herself up for what could be the most devastating failure in her life by confirming Mike’s statement.
She just couldn’t.
‘I don’t understand,’ Sophia said.
‘There he is.’ Maria swooped in from behind Emily and held out her arms. ‘Give him back,’ she ordered her brother. ‘You get your own babies, Mickey. This one’s mine.’
Mike relinquished the baby but ignored his sister. His expression, as he kept his gaze fixed on Emily, had gone from one of joyous confidence to puzzlement.
‘What did you mean, Michael?’ Sophia was tugging on her son’s sleeve. ‘Tell me!’
‘Opa!’ Someone jostled Emily as they reached past to claim a glass of ouzo from George’s tray.
‘Come, Sophia.’ George held his tray high. ‘We have guests to look after. Talk to your son later.’
With a despairing headshake Sophia gave up and followed George.
Mike stared at Emily. ‘What’s going on?’
‘I can’t do this, Mike.’
‘Can’t do what? I wasn’t making a public announcement here. I just wanted to tell my family, for God’s sake.’
‘Tell them what? That we’re going to get married? That I’m going to provide the next set of Poulos grandchildren?’ Emily felt like she was suffocating. She had to get out of here. ‘It’s not going to happen, Mike.’
‘What?’
Emily didn’t know what to say. He was already hurt that she hadn’t come out and made their relationship known at least to his family. He had every right to be angry. He would be very angry when he realised she was talking about the whole relationship and not just telling anybody about it.
Unexpectedly, the need to find something to say vanished. Charles had arrived beside them as silently as he always did. A cellphone lay on his lap, as though it had been in very recent use.
‘How much ouzo have you had, Mike?’
‘None…yet.’ Mike’s tone was as heavy as the gaze that had Emily pinned. ‘I think I might be about to start, though.’
‘No. I need you.’ Charles flicked his gaze towards Emily. ‘And you.’
‘What’s happened?’
‘Someone’s collapsed. At the resort on Wallaby Island.’
‘They’ve got an airfield.’ Being unhelpful was very unlike Mike. ‘Send the plane.’
‘It’s already out. That’s why Christina isn’t here.’
‘I’m on call,’ Emily told Charles. ‘And I’ve got a new patient in ICU. I should really be back there now.’
‘I’ll go,’ Charles said. ‘I can monitor your patient. What I can’t do is get in the helicopter and go and save a life. What are you two waiting for?’
Mike nodded curtly and headed for the door.
Emily looked at Charles, begging him silently not to send her on this mission. She couldn’t claim that she didn’t ‘do’ helicopters any more, though, could she?
It was how this whole thing had started—being sent on a mission with Mike.
So maybe it was fate decreeing that it turn a full circle. It was time to be honest and if that was enough to finish things, then so be it.
In the end, Emily just mirrored Mike’s nod of acquiescence and followed him out the door.
CHAPTER TEN
‘CROCODILE CREEK BASE HOSPITAL to Air Rescue 711. How do you read?’
Mike squeezed the radio mike button on the central stick control. ‘Loud and clear. Go ahead.’
‘Your call has been cancelled.’
‘Say again?’
‘Cancel, cancel. You are no longer required. Return to base.’
‘Roger.’
The sound of a chuckle came through their headsets. ‘Actually
, my name’s Craig.’
‘Roger, Craig.’ But the familiar humour didn’t rate more than a wan smile and Mike cursed softly as he banked the helicopter to abort the mission. ‘Waste of bloody time,’ he muttered. ‘What was that all about?’
‘False alarm, I guess.’ Emily was no happier than Mike.
Here they were shut in a box, without any wings, above a vast and probably very cold ocean, halfway between the mainland and Wallaby Island. They were alone—again—and they didn’t need to be here at all.
Emily let the now established and rather grim silence continue as she dealt with a sneaking suspicion that Charles had somehow engineered precisely this situation.
Surely not!
‘So…’ Mike was now making an attempt to sound cheerful. ‘You going to tell me what’s going on in your head, then?’
‘What do you mean?’
‘I mean that I get the distinct impression that something’s changed and I’m not going to like it, which is why you’re avoiding talking to me.’
Upsetting someone who was responsible for keeping this box well above sea level did not seem like a sensible idea.
‘I’m not avoiding talking to you,’ Emily said. ‘I’ve just had a bad day.’ Oh, God! She sounded like Simon—telling her he was stressed at work when she knew perfectly well their relationship was all over bar the shouting.
‘Hmm.’ Mike was unimpressed. ‘Funny, I thought that having someone who cares to talk to about “bad days” was part of what a relationship was all about.’
‘It is,’ Emily agreed uneasily.
‘I also thought that you felt the same way about me as I do about you.’
‘I do.’
‘Doesn’t feel like it. I get the impression that you’d rather make it all go away. You don’t want to tell anybody because you think that’s exactly what’s going to happen.’
Emily was silent.
‘I’ve got news for you, babe,’ Mike said heavily. ‘I’m not going away and I’m not going to take you back to base until you tell me what’s going on.’
‘You can’t just fly round and round!’
‘Why not?’
‘Because I don’t like it. I don’t feel safe…especially when we’re over the sea like this.’
‘You mean you’re not going to talk to me because you’re nervous of being in the helicopter?’
Emily made a strangled noise that could have been taken either way. She wasn’t really nervous of the helicopter any more but she was scared stiff of how Mike was going to react when she told him the truth about her failings. No way could she do that hundreds of feet up in the air!
‘Right.’ Mike seemed to have taken the sound for assent. With his mouth set in a grim line, he made a movement with his hands and feet and suddenly the helicopter was dropping.
Like a stone.
Emily barely repressed a scream of pure terror. ‘Mike! Oh, my God, what’s happening?’
‘Chill out,’ he ordered briskly. ‘I’m not about to kill you.’
It felt like they were both going to die.
The helicopter plummeted for what seemed for ever and then it levelled off with its skids so close to the sea Emily found she was holding her breath, waiting to plunge below the surface.
She screwed her eyes shut and waited for the impact.
And then she opened them again because she could feel the lack of forward momentum. They were hovering. Not over the water. In the pale moonlight outside, Emily could see the outlines of a tiny cove with high bluffs and a tumble of black rocks at their base. She could also see a small crescent of white sand, and by the time she realised what was happening Mike had touched down on the beach. He reached up and pushed the throttle closed and the rotors started to slow.
‘What’s wrong?’ For a moment the relief at a successful emergency landing outweighed anything else.
‘With the helicopter? Nothing.’ Mike pulled off his helmet. ‘Come on, out you get.’
‘What? Why?’
‘I want to talk to you.’ Mike climbed out of his side of the helicopter, ducked under the slowly rotating blades, and came round to Emily’s side. He pulled open the door. ‘You didn’t want to talk in the air,’ he reminded her. ‘So here we are. On the ground.’
Emily unclipped her harness. She pulled her helmet off and pushed past Mike to jump to the ground unaided. She stalked several metres away. Then she turned.
‘You mean you scared the hell out of me for nothing?’ Anger sparked and then exploded into white-hot fury. ‘You bastard!’
‘I want to talk to you,’ Mike said calmly. ‘That’s hardly “nothing”.’
‘How could you?’ Emily shouted. ‘Today, of all days!’
‘What’s so special about today?’ Mike wasn’t as calm as he was trying to sound. There was a dangerous quality about him right now as though he, too, was capable of the kind of fury Emily was exhibiting. ‘Is it the day we’re not going to let people know we’re in love? That we’re not going to announce our intention to spend the rest of our lives together?’
Emily’s fury evaporated into the night like a reverse tornado. This was it. The moment she had to tell Mike the truth and take whatever consequences it might bring.
‘You’ve changed your mind, haven’t you? You don’t want to marry me.’
‘It’s not that, Mike. I want that more than anything.’ The gap between them seemed to have stretched into a canyon. ‘You might want to change your mind.’
‘And why would I want to do that?’
‘Because I don’t think I can be what you want me to be.’
‘What?’ Mike took a step closer to Emily then stopped. He shook his head, bewildered. ‘I don’t understand. How can you not be what you already are?’
‘I’m talking about your expectations. Your family’s expectations. For me to be your wife and the—’
‘You have a hang-up about marriage?’ Mike interrupted. ‘Fine. We’ll live in sin till death us do part.’
‘And the mother of your children.’
Mike frowned. ‘I’d be upset if you wanted to be the mother of someone else’s children, sure, but—’
Emily could feel a kind of vice closing around her. Imprisoning her. ‘But that’s why it can never work. I’m sorry, Mike. I didn’t realise I’d feel like this and maybe it’s just because of today but—’
‘Hold it!’ Mike held up a hand. ‘That’s at least the second time you’ve made a reference to today. What’s been so bad about it? That patient you mentioned to Charles who’s in ICU?’
Emily shook her head.
‘Something else? You’re still worried about Megan?’
A nod and then a shake. ‘Yes, but that’s not what I meant.’
Mike took another step closer. ‘What do you mean, babe?’
‘I mean the day. The date. I’d forgotten until I started filling in charts this morning. I don’t know how I forgot because I’ve been thinking about it a lot ever since Lucky was found.’
Mike ran stiff fingers through his hair in a gesture of frustration, tousling the curls even more than they had been naturally. ‘You’ve lost me.’
‘It’s ten years ago. Today.’ Emily took a long and shaky inward breath. ‘It would have been my son’s tenth birthday today…if he’d lived.’
Mike could have been turned to stone. His face—his whole body—went utterly still. ‘You had a baby?’
‘Ten years ago.’
‘With that guy you were engaged to?’
‘It was the only reason he was going to marry me. When it turned out to be a stillbirth, he was off like a shot.’
Mike was silent for a long, long moment.
‘What was his name?’
‘Cameron. I told you about him.’
‘I’m not talking about the bastard that got you pregnant, babe. What was your baby’s name?’
A nasty, prickling sensation ran through Emily’s limbs to settle in her chest. The question was shockingly
callous.
‘He didn’t have a name. Why would he?’
‘Why wouldn’t he?’
The shock had worn off. Emily was angry again. Mike was supposed to love her. Why was he making something worse when it was already more than painful enough?
‘Because no one wanted him,’ she said bitterly.
‘You did,’ Mike suggested quietly.
‘No.’ Emily folded her arms tightly around her body. ‘I didn’t want to be a single mother. I didn’t want a baby that wasn’t going to have a father or…or a family.’ She turned away from Mike and walked a couple of steps. ‘I didn’t have a family any more. I would have had no money. No career. Nothing.’
‘You would have had your baby.’
Emily whirled to face Mike again. ‘Why are you doing this to me? It’s not fair. You said you loved me!’
‘Oh, I do, babe.’ Mike walked towards Emily. ‘I’m doing this because I think you’re letting it put up a wall to your future. Our future. Whether or not we end up having kids doesn’t matter a damn. But your happiness matters a lot more to me than mine does right now. What happened in the past shouldn’t be allowed to destroy a future. I don’t think you’ve ever been able to let go of your past because I don’t think anybody helped you grieve when you should have.’
He was close enough to touch her now. And he did. The softest touch that gave just a promise of the comfort available.
‘Did he have a funeral?’
Emily’s head jerked in a negative movement. Her throat felt tight. ‘Cameron took care of all that. They took him away after I held him for a while and I never saw him again.’
‘It’s haunted you ever since, though, hasn’t it? You think of him on his birthday. And when you see other children, I bet. Especially babies. No wonder you feel so strongly about getting Megan to accept Lucky. I understand, Emily. I love you. For what you are right now—not what you’ve been in the past or even what you will be in the future. None of that matters because you always have been and always will be you…and that’s who I love.’
The tightness was threatening to suffocate Emily. The love and acceptance she was being offered was too huge to accept.
The Doctor's Unexpected Proposal Page 16