Mike stepped even closer and his arms came around Emily. He bent his head so that his lips were against her hair, and when he spoke, the words were as gentle as summer rain.
‘You gave him a name, didn’t you?’
Emily finally nodded because Mike had been patient enough to wait. The tightness had become pain now—spreading through her entire body.
His arms tightened, too. ‘What was it?’
The word came out as a hoarse cry that Emily didn’t recognise as her own voice. ‘Ben…’
It hit her then, like it never had before. The name had never been spoken aloud.
Never bestowed.
Doing so now, even after so many years, gave that lost baby an identity. Made it somehow far more real. Fresh again and so, so painful. Sobs were torn from Emily’s soul and her knees buckled with the weight of her grief.
But she didn’t fall. Mike’s arms held her as she crumpled and he came with her, kneeling on the sand and holding her tightly. Rocking her and holding her like an anchor as the storm hit.
And as her sobs finally diminished and the shaking ceased, Emily realised that something fundamental had changed for ever. What had always been a private ghost was now something shared. And that made it real again. But this time her baby had a name. And she had, finally, been given permission to mourn his loss.
Nothing could have touched her more deeply. Could have welded her so permanently, heart and soul, to the person who had understood…She had to move so that she could see Mike’s face, touch it as she spoke to him.
‘I love you,’ she said. ‘I can’t even begin to tell you how much.’
‘That’s exactly how I feel.’ Mike’s gaze searched her face. ‘Are you OK, babe?’
‘I’m exhausted,’ Emily admitted. ‘I don’t think I’ve ever felt so drained in my life.’ Then her lips curved in a soft smile. ‘But I don’t think I’ve ever felt so good either. You’ve given me something I never thought I would ever have, Mike.’
‘What’s that?’
‘I’m not sure yet. Acceptance, I think. For wiping out what I’ve always seen as an ultimate failure. I feel like something’s been torn out of me. Something dark that shouldn’t have been there.’
Mike simply nodded and tilted Emily’s face so that he could kiss her. ‘I’ve given you something else, too,’ he murmured. ‘If you still want it.’
‘What’s that?’
‘Me.’
Emily smiled properly this time. ‘Oh, I want it. In fact, I think I’m ready to tell the whole world just how much I want it.’
‘Cool. Maybe we could start with a radio message to base. I’d hate them to think we’ve gone down in the drink.’
‘We did go down.’ Emily shuddered at the memory. ‘We dropped like a stone and you promised you’d never let that happen.’
‘It was an emergency,’ Mike said gravely. ‘Called for desperate measures.’ He helped Emily to her feet. ‘Shall we?’
It was only a short journey back up the coast to Crocodile Creek but it created a sense of distance and gave Emily time to recover from the emotional wringer she’d just been through.
What an incredible roller-coaster of a week it had been, thanks largely to the man now guiding his aircraft back into its hangar, hopefully for the rest of the night. She would never doubt the strength of Mike’s love ever again. And she would never doubt herself as long as she was near him.
He was smiling as the huge door to the hangar rolled shut. ‘They’ll still be partying at the Athina. Do you feel up to popping in just for a few minutes?’
‘I’d like that. We’ve got something to tell everybody, haven’t we?’
‘Only if you want to. I’m happy to keep it a secret for a while if you want some more time.’
Emily shook her head firmly. ‘I want everybody to know. Especially your mother.’ She looked down at the flight suit she was wearing. ‘I suppose we should get changed again.’
‘Nah. Let’s go as we are. A matched pair.’
‘Can we do something else first? It won’t take very long.’
Mike’s eyes gleamed. ‘Sure, babe. What—here? Shall I open the hangar again?’
‘No!’ Emily intended to give him a shove but found herself swept into his arms and kissed very thoroughly instead. As soon as she was released in order to let her breathe, she took the opportunity to whisper in Mike’s ear.
He smiled. ‘Good idea. Let’s do it.’
Hand in hand they walked into Crocodile Creek Base Hospital. Somehow, Emily was not surprised to see Charles gliding towards them along the first corridor they entered. He was at eye level with their linked hands and he was smiling as he raised his gaze.
‘Successful mission, then?’
Mike blinked. ‘You don’t mean you—’
‘Don’t ask,’ Emily advised. She grinned at their medical director. ‘Very successful mission, thank you, sir.’
‘You’re both officially off duty, by the way,’ Charles told them. ‘Just in case you were thinking of going back to the Athina to celebrate anything.’
‘He worries me sometimes,’ Mike murmured as he and Emily continued their journey.
‘How come?’
‘He sees too much. Sometimes I get the feeling he might know more about us than we do.’
‘He cares about us, that’s all. When you care enough, you can see things other people can’t.’
‘And he can sneak around and eavesdrop. That’s got to help.’
‘He’s a lovely man,’ Emily said stoutly. ‘And I think I’ll ask him to give me away at our wedding.’
They tiptoed into the hospital’s nursery. The lights were dimmed and Grace sat at her desk, reading a romance novel. She glanced up, smiled and dropped her gaze again.
‘Be with you in a minute,’ she whispered. ‘I’ve got to find out how this ends.’
Mike and Emily went to Lucky’s crib. Some of the soft toy gifts had found their way into the nursery and a toy tiger sat on one end of the crib.
The other end was empty.
Emily’s mouth fell open in a silent cry of consternation. She looked back at Grace. Had Lucky’s nurse been so caught up in her book she had been unaware of an abduction taking place?
Then Mike’s grip on her hand tightened. She turned and there, in the soft glow of a floor-level nightlight, she saw the figure in the armchair. Someone cradling Lucky as she held his bottle.
‘Megan,’ Emily gasped. ‘Oh…’
Megan looked up but only for a split second before her gaze dropped again to the infant in her arms.
‘He is beautiful, isn’t he?’
‘Yes,’ Mike said softly. ‘He sure is.’
Megan glanced up again. ‘And he really is mine?’
Emily had to swallow the lump in her throat. ‘He really is.’
‘And I can keep him if I want to?’ Megan saw her answer in the faces watching her and she sighed.
‘I had a dream,’ she told them quietly. ‘That night I got really sick and you guys came to get me. I dreamt that I was holding my baby and he was alive. I could feel how warm he was. I could even smell him, and…’ Megan’s voice cracked. ‘And I wanted to die, you know? Because I thought that was the only way I would ever get to hold him.’
‘You’re holding him now.’ Mike’s voice was oddly gruff. ‘He’s your son, Megan.’
‘I can’t give him away. I know it’s not going to be easy but I want to try and be a good mother.’
‘You won’t have to do it by yourself,’ Emily said with conviction. ‘We’ll help you.’
‘Have you thought of a name for him?’ Mike asked.
Megan nodded shyly. ‘Jackson.’
Emily tried it out. ‘Jackson Cooper. I like that.’ She gave Megan a curious glance. ‘What made you change your mind about seeing him?’
‘Dunno. I’d been reading those magazines you gave me and I couldn’t get to sleep. I kept thinking about that picture of the girl from that TV show and
her baby. She looked so happy.’
‘Things will get happier for you, too, Megan.’
‘Shh…’ Megan adjusted the hold she had on the tiny baby. ‘He’s nearly asleep.’
Emily shushed. There was really nothing more to say just now, was there? She stood there, clutching Mike’s hand, gazing at the young mother and child and that raw patch on her soul—the hole from which the name of her baby had been torn—was suddenly filled with something warm. And wonderful.
And Emily knew she’d been right about that omen. She would have another child of her own one day.
Mike’s baby.
It was a gift that might, to some degree, show the depth of the love she had for this man. There was nothing she couldn’t face now.
Now that she was finally whole.
They stole away from the nursery a short time later.
‘Mike?’
‘Yeah, babe?’
‘I love you.’
‘I love you, too.’
‘I do want to marry you.’
‘I should hope so.’
‘And…and I want to have a baby. Your baby.’
Joy added an extra glitter to those dark eyes. Or was it due to unshed tears? ‘Are you sure, Em?’
‘Absolutely. I know it’ll be all right this time.’
‘Of course it will.’ Mike shot a sideways glance down at Emily. ‘Want to spit for luck anyway?’
Emily shook her head. ‘I’ve given up spitting. It’s unhygienic. And besides…’ She stood on tiptoe and put her arms around Mike’s neck, offering a kiss that he accepted very willingly.
‘Besides what?’ he queried after so much time had passed that Emily had to make an effort to remember what she had intended to say.
‘We don’t need luck any more,’ she told him firmly.
‘We don’t?’
‘We’ve got each other. How much luckier could we get?’
Mike smiled and then kissed her again. ‘So true. Maybe we had better leave some of that luck out there for everybody else. I think I’ve had more than my fair share in the last week or so.’
‘You and me both.’
‘And now…’ Mike bent and swept Emily into his arms, carrying her away from the hospital and up the hill towards the Athina.
Towards her future.
Their future.
ISBN: 978-1-4603-5856-6
THE DOCTOR’S UNEXPECTED PROPOSAL
First North American Publication 2006
Copyright © 2006 by Alison Roberts
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The Doctor's Unexpected Proposal Page 17