The Vizier of the Two-Horned Alexander

by Frank Richard Stockton

  V

  "Now, my dear," said Mrs. Crowder, the moment we had finished dinner on thenext evening, "I want thee to tell us immediately what thee did with thejewels. I have been thinking about that all day; and I believe, if I hadbeen with thee, I could have given thee some good advice, so that themoney thee received for these treasures would have lasted thee a longtime."

  "I have thought on that subject many times," said Mr. Crowder, "not onlyin regard to this case, but others, and have formed hundreds of plans forcarrying my possessions into another set of social conditions; but thefact of being obliged to change my identity always made it impossiblefor me to avail myself of the advantages of commercial paper, legal deeds,and all titles to property."

  "Thee might have put thy wealth into solid gold--great bars and lumps.Those would be available in any country and in any age, and theywouldn't have had anything to do with thy identity," said his wife.

  "It was always difficult for me to carry about or even conceal such goldentreasures, but I have sometimes done it. However, as you are in such ahurry to hear about the jewels, I will let all other subjects drop. WhenI reached my lodgings in Rome, I opened the box, and found everythingperfect; the writing on the sheets of parchment was still black andperfectly legible, and the jewels looked just as they did when I put theminto the box."

  "I cannot imagine," interrupted Mrs. Crowder, "how thee remembered whatthey looked like after the lapse of three hundred years."

  Mr. Crowder smiled. "You forget," he said, "that since I first reachedthe age of fifty-three there has been no radical change in me,physical or mental. My memory is just as good now as it was when I reachedmy fifty-third birthday, in the days of Abraham. It is impossible for meto forget anything of importance, and I remembered perfectly theappearance of those gems. But my knowledge of such things had been greatlyimproved by time and experience, and after I had spent an hour or twolooking over my treasures, I felt sure that they were far more valuablethan they were when they came into my possession. In fact, it was aremarkable collection of precious stones, considering it in regard to itshistoric as well as its intrinsic value.

  "I shall not attempt to describe my various plans for disposing of mytreasures; but I soon found that it would not be wise for me to try tosell them in Rome. I had picked out one of the least valuable engravedstones, and had taken it to a lapidary, who readily bought it at hisown valuation, and paid me with great promptness; but after he had securedit he asked me so many questions about it, particularly how I had comeinto possession of it, that I was very sure that he had made a wonderfulbargain, and was also convinced that it would not do for me to take anymore of my gems to him. Those Roman experts knew too much about antiquejewels.

  "I went to Naples, where I had a similar experience. Then I found it wouldbe well for me, if I did not wish to be arrested as a thief who had robbeda museum, to endeavor to sell my collection as a whole in some othercountry. As a professional dealer in gems from a foreign land I would beless liable to suspicion than if I endeavored to peddle my jewels one at atime. So I determined to go to Madrid and try to sell my collection there.

  "When I reached Spain I found the country in a great turmoil. This was in1808, when Napoleon was on the point of invading Spain; but aspoliticians, statesmen, and military men were not in the habit of buyingancient gems, I still hoped that I might be able to transact the businesswhich had brought me to the country. My collection would be as valuable toa museum then as at any time; for it was not supposed that the French werecoming into the country to ravage and destroy the great institutions oflearning and art. I made acquaintances in Madrid, and before long I had anopportunity of exhibiting my collection to a well-known dealer andconnoisseur, who was well acquainted with the officers of the RoyalMuseum. I thought it would be well to sell them through his agency, eventhough I paid him a high commission.

  "If I should say that this man was astounded as well as delighted when hesaw my collection, I should be using very feeble expressions; for, carriedaway by his enthusiasm, he did not hesitate to say to me that it was themost valuable collection he had ever seen. Even if the stones had beenworthless in themselves, their historic value was very great. Of course hewanted to know where I had obtained these treasures, and I informed himtruthfully that I had traveled far and wide in order to gather themtogether. I told him the history of many of them, but entirely omittedmentioning anything which would give a clue to the times and periods whenI had come into possession of them.

  "This dealer undertook the sale of my jewels. We arranged them in ahandsome box lined with velvet and divided into compartments, and I madea catalogue of them, copied from my ancient parchments--which would haveruined me had I inadvertently allowed them to be seen. He put himself intocommunication with the officers of the museum, and I left the matterentirely in his hands.

  "In less than a week I became aware that I was an object of suspicion.I called on the dealer, but he was not to be seen. I found that I wasshadowed by officers of the law. I wrote to the dealer, but received noanswer. One evening, when I returned to my lodgings, I found that they hadbeen thoroughly searched. I became alarmed, and the conviction forceditself upon me that the sooner I should escape from Madrid, the better forme."

  "What!" exclaimed Mrs. Crowder, "and leave thy jewels behind? Theecertainly did not do that!"

  "Ah, my dear," replied her husband, "you do not comprehend the situation.It was very plain that the authorities of the museum did not believe thata private individual, a stranger, was likely to be the legitimate owner ofthese treasures. Had my case been an ordinary one I should have courtedinvestigation; but how could I prove that I had been an honest man threehundred years before? A legal examination, not so much on account of thejewels, but because of the necessary assertion of my age, would have beena terrible ordeal.

  "I hurried to the dealer's shop, but found it closed. Inquiring of a womanin a neighboring door-step, I was informed that the dealer had beenarrested. I asked no more. I did not return to my lodgings, and that nightI left Madrid."

  I could not repress an exclamation of distress, and Mrs. Crowder cried:"Did thee really go away and leave thy jewels? Such a thing is toodreadful to think of. But perhaps thee got them again?"

  "No," said Mr. Crowder; "I never saw them again, nor ever heard of them.But now that it is impossible for any one to be living who might recognizeme, I hope to go to Madrid and see those gems. I have no doubt that theyare in the museum."

  "And I," exclaimed Mrs. Crowder--"I shall go with thee; I shall see them."

  "Indeed you shall," said her husband, taking her affectionately by thehand. And then he turned to me. "You may think," said he, "that I was tootimid, that I was too ready to run away from danger; but it is hard forany one but myself readily to appreciate my horror of a sentence toimprisonment or convict labor for life."

  "Oh, horrible!" said his wife, with tears in her eyes. "Then thee wouldhave despaired indeed."

  "No," said he; "I should not even have had that consolation. Despair is awelcome to death. A man who cannot die cannot truly despair. But do notlet us talk upon such a melancholy subject."

  "No, no," cried Mrs. Crowder; "I am glad thee left those wretched jewelsbehind thee. And thee got away safely?"

  "Oh, yes; I had some money left. I traveled by night and concealed myselfby day, and so got out of Spain. Soon after I crossed the Pyrenees I foundmyself penniless, and was obliged to work my way."

  "Poverty again!" exclaimed Mrs. Crowder. "It is dreadful to hear so muchof it. If thee could only have carried away with thee one of thy diamonds,thee might have cracked it up into little pieces, and thee might have soldthese, one at a time, without suspicion."

  "I never thought of being a vender of broken diamonds, and there isnothing suspicious about honest labor. The object of my present endeavorswas to reach England, and I journeyed northward. It was nearly a monthafter I had entered France that I was at a little village on the Garonne,repairing a stone wall which divided a fie
ld from the road, and I assureyou I was very glad to get this job.

  "It was here that I heard of the near approach of Napoleon's army on itsmarch into Spain; that the news was true was quickly proved, for very soonafter I had begun my work on the wall the country to the north seemed tobe filled with cavalry, infantry, artillery, baggage-wagons, andeverything that pertained to an army. About noon there was a general halt,and in the field the wall of which I was repairing a body of officers madea temporary encampment.

  "I paid as little apparent attention as possible to what was going onaround me, but proceeded steadily with my work, although I assure youI had my eyes wide open all the time. I was thinking of stopping work inorder to eat my dinner, which I had with me, when a party of officersapproached me on their way to a little hill in the field. One of themstopped and spoke to me, and as he did so the others halted and stoodtogether a little way off. The moment I looked at the person whoaddressed me I knew him. It was Napoleon Bonaparte."

  "Then thee has seen the great Napoleon," almost whispered Mrs. Crowder.

  "And very much disappointed I was when I beheld him," remarked herhusband. "I had seen portraits of him, I had read and heard of his greatachievements, and I had pictured to myself a hero. Perhaps my experienceshould have taught me that heroes seldom look like heroes, but for allthat I had had my ideal, and in appearance this man fell below it. Hisface was of an olive color which was unequally distributed over hisfeatures; he was inclined to be pudgy, and his clothes did not appear tofit him; but for all that he had the air of a man who with piercing eyessaw his way before him and did not flinch from taking it, rough as itmight be. 'You seem an old man for such work,' said he, 'but if you arestrong enough to lift those stones why are you not in the army?' As hespoke I noticed that he had not the intonation of a true Frenchman. Hehad the accent of the foreigner that he was.

  "'WHY ARE YOU NOT IN THE ARMY?'"]

  "'Sire,' said I, 'I am too old for the army, but in spite of my age I mustearn my bread.' I may state here that my hair and beard had been growingsince I left Madrid. For a moment the emperor regarded me in silence. 'Areyou a Frenchman?' said he. 'You speak too well for a stone-mason, and,moreover, your speech is that of a foreigner who has studied French.' Itwas odd that each of us should have remarked the accent of the other, butI was not amused at this; I was becoming very nervous. 'Sire,' saidI, 'I come from Italy.' 'Were you born there?' asked he. My nervousnessincreased. This man was too keen a questioner. 'Sire,' I replied, 'I wasborn in the country southeast of Rome.' This was true enough, but it was along way southeast. 'Do you speak Spanish?' he abruptly asked.

  "At this question my blood ran cold. I had had enough of speaking Spanish.I was trying to get away from Spain and everything that belonged to thatcountry; but I thought it safest to speak the truth, and I answered thatI understood the language. The emperor now beckoned to one of hisofficers, and ordered him to talk with me in Spanish. I had been in Spainin the early part of the preceding century, and I had there learned tospeak the pure Castilian tongue, so that when the officer talked with meI could see that he was surprised, and presently he told the emperor thathe had never heard any one who spoke such excellent Spanish. The emperorfixed his eyes upon me. 'You must have traveled a great deal,' he said.'You should not be wasting your time with stones and mortar.' Then,turning to the officer who had spoken to me, he said, 'He understandsSpanish so well that we may make him useful.' He was about to address meagain, but was interrupted by the arrival of an orderly with a despatch.This he read hastily, and walked toward the officers who were waiting forhim; but before he left me he ordered me to report myself at his tent,which was not far off in the field. He then walked away, evidentlydiscussing the despatch, which he still held open in his hand.

  "Now I was again plunged into the deepest apprehension and fear. I did notwant to go back to Spain, not knowing what might happen to me there. Everyevil thing was possible. I might be recognized, and the emperor might notcare to shield any one claimed by the law as an escaped thief. In aninstant I saw all sorts of dreadful possibilities. I determined to takeno chances. The moment the emperor's back was turned upon me I got overthe broken part of the wall and, interfered with by no one, passed quietlyalong the road to the house of the man who had employed me to do hismason-work, and seeing no one there,--for every window and door wastightly closed,--I walked into the yard and went to the well, which wasconcealed from the road by some shrubbery. I looked quickly about, andperceiving that I was not in sight of any one, I got into the well andwent down to the bottom, assisting my descent by the well-rope. The waterwas about five feet deep, and when I first entered it, it chilled me; butnothing could chill me so much as the thought that I might be taken backinto Spain, no matter by whom or for what. I must admit that I was doingthen, and often had done, that which seemed very much like cowardice; butpeople who can die cannot understand the fear which may come upon a personwho has not that refuge from misfortune.

  "For the rest of the day I remained in the well, and when people came todraw water--and this happened many times in the course of the afternoon--I crouched down as much as I could; but at such times I would have beenconcealed by the descending bucket, even if any one had chosen to lookdown the well. This bucket was a heavy one with iron hoops, and I had agreat deal of trouble sometimes to shield my head from it."

  "I should think thee would have taken thy death of cold," said Mrs.Crowder, "staying in that cold well the whole afternoon."

  "No," said her husband, with a smile; "I was not afraid of that. IfI should have taken cold I knew it would not be fatal, and although thewater chilled me at first, I became used to it. An hour or two afternightfall I clambered up the well-rope,--and it was not an easy thing, foralthough not stout, I am a heavy man,--and I got away over the fields withall the rapidity possible. I did not look back to see if the army werestill on the road, nor did I ever know whether I had been searched for orhad been forgotten.

  "I shall not describe the rest of my journey. There is nothing remarkableabout it except that it was beset with many hardships. I made my way intoSwitzerland and so on down the Rhine, and it was nearly seven months afterI left Madrid before I reached England.

  "I remained many years in Great Britain, living here and there, and wasgreatly interested in the changes and improvements I saw around me. Youcan easily understand this when I tell you it was in 1512, twenty yearsafter the discovery of America, that I had last been in England. I do notbelieve that in any other part of the world the changes in three hundredyears could have been more marked and impressive.

  "I had never visited Ireland, and as I had a great desire to see thatcountry, I made my way there as soon as possible, and after visiting themost noted spots of the island I settled down to work as a gardener."

  "Always poor," ejaculated Mrs. Crowder, with a sigh.

  "No, not always," answered her husband. "But wandering sight-seers cannotbe expected to make much money. At this time I was very glad indeed tocease from roving and enjoy the comforts of a home, even though it were ahumble one. The family with whom I took service was that of MariaEdgeworth, who lived with her father in Edgeworthstown."

  "What!" cried Mrs. Crowder, "'Lazy Lawrence,' 'Simple Susan,' and all therest of them? Was it that Miss Edgeworth?"

  "Certainly," said he; "there never was but one Maria Edgeworth, and Idon't think there ever will be another. I soon became very well acquaintedwith Miss Edgeworth. Her father was a studious man and a magistrate. Hepaid very little attention to the house and garden, the latter of whichwas almost entirely under the charge of his daughter Maria. She used tocome out among the flower-beds and talk to me, and as my varied experienceenabled me to tell her a great deal about fruits, flowers, and vegetables,she became more and more interested in what I had to tell her. She was aplain, sensible woman, anxious for information, and she lived in a veryquiet neighborhood where she did not often have opportunities of meetingpersons of intelligence and information. But when she found out thatI
could tell her so many things, not only about plants but about thecountries where I had known them, she would sometimes spend an hour or twowith me, taking notes of what I said.

  "During the time that I was her gardener she wrote the story of 'TheLittle Merchants,' and as she did not know very much about Italy andNaples, I gave her most of the points for that highly moral story. Shetold me, in fact, that she did not believe she could have written it hadit not been for my assistance. She thought well to begin the story bygiving some explanatory 'Extracts from a Traveler's Journal' relativeto Italian customs, but afterward she depended entirely on me for allpoints concerning distinctive national characteristics and the generalItalian atmosphere. As she became aware that I was an educated man andhad traveled in many countries, she was curious about my antecedents, butof course my remarks in that direction were very guarded.

  "One day, as she was standing looking at me as I was pruning a rose-bush,she made a remark which startled me. I perfectly remember her words. 'Itseems to me,' she said, 'that one who is so constantly engaged inobserving and encouraging the growth and development of plants shouldhimself grow and develop. Roses of one year are generally better thanthose of the year before. Then why is not the gardener better?' To thesewords she immediately added, being a woman of kind impulses, 'But in thecase of a good gardener, such as you are, I've no doubt he does growbetter, year by year.'"

  "What was there startling in that little speech?" asked Mrs. Crowder."I don't think she could have said anything less."

  "I will tell you why I was startled," said her husband. "Almost those verywords--mark me, almost those very words--had been said to me when I wasworking in the wonderful gardens of Nebuchadnezzar, and he was standing byme watching me prune a rose-bush. That Maria Edgeworth and the greatNebuchadnezzar should have said the same thing to me was enough to startleme."

  To this astounding statement Mrs. Crowder and I listened with wide-openeyes.

  "Yes," said Mr. Crowder; "you may think it amazing that a very ordinaryremark should connect 'The Parents' Assistant' with the city of Babylon,but so it was. In the course of my life I have noticed coincidences quiteas strange.

  "I spent many years in the city of Babylon, but the wonderful HangingGardens interested me more than anything else the great city contained. Atthe time of which I have just spoken I was one of Nebuchadnezzar'sgardeners, but not in the humble position which I afterward filled inIreland. I had under my orders fifteen slaves, and my principal duty wasto direct the labors of these poor men. These charming gardens, restingupon arches high above the surface of the ground, watered by means ofpipes from the river Euphrates, and filled with the choicest flowers,shrubs, and plants known to the civilization of the time, were aceaseless source of delight to me. Often, when I had finished the dailywork assigned to me and my men, I would wander over other parts of thegarden and enjoy its rare beauties.

  "I frequently met Nebuchadnezzar, who for the time enjoyed his gardensalmost as much as I did. When relieved from the cares of state and hisambitious plans, and while walking in the winding paths among sparklingfountains and the fragrant flowerbeds, he seemed like a very ordinary man,quiet and reflective, with very good ideas concerning nature andarchitecture. The latter I learned from his frequent remarks to me.I suppose it was because I appeared to be so much older and moreexperienced than most of those who composed his little army of gardenersthat he often addressed me, asking questions and making suggestions; andit was one afternoon, standing by me as I was at work in a rose-bed, thathe said the words which were spoken to me about twenty-four centuriesafterward by Maria Edgeworth. Now, wasn't that enough to startle a man?"

  NEBUCHADNEZZAR AND THE GARDENER.]

  "Startle!" exclaimed Mrs. Crowder, "I should have screamed. I should havethought that some one had come from the dead to speak to me. But I supposethere was nothing about Maria Edgeworth which reminded thee ofNebuchadnezzar, King of Babylon."

  "Yes, there was," replied her husband: "there was the same meditativeexpression of the eyes; the same reflective mood as each one began tospeak, as if he and she were merely thinking aloud; the same quick, kindreference to me, as if the speaker feared that my feelings might have beenhurt by a presumption that I myself had not developed and improved.

  "I had good reason to remember those words of Nebuchadnezzar, for theywere the last I ever heard him speak. A few days afterward I was informedby the chief gardener that the king was about to make a journey across themountains into Media, and that he intended to establish there what wouldnow be called an experimental garden of horticulture, which was to bedevoted to growing and improving certain ornamental trees which did notflourish in the Hanging Gardens of Babylon. His expedition was not to beundertaken entirely for this purpose, but he was a man who did a greatmany things at once, and the establishment of these experimental groundswas only one of the objects of his journey.

  "The chief gardener then went on to say that the king had spoken to himabout me and had said that he would take me with him and perhaps put me incharge of the new gardens.

  "This mark of royal favor did not please me at all. I had hoped that Imight ultimately become the chief of the Babylonian gardens, and thiswould have suited me admirably. It was a position of profit and somehonor, and when I thought that I had lived long enough in that part of theworld it would have been easy for me to make a journey into thesurrounding country on some errand connected with the business of thegardens, and then quietly to disappear? But if I were to be taken intoMedia it might not be easy for me to get away. Therefore I did not waitto see Nebuchadnezzar again and receive embarrassing royal commands, butI went to my home that night, and returned no more to the wonderfulHanging Gardens of Babylon."

  "I think thee was a great deal better off in the gardens of MariaEdgeworth," said Mrs. Crowder, "for there thee could come and go as theepleased, and it almost makes my flesh creep when I think of thee livingin company with the bloody tyrants of the past. And always in poverty andsuffering, as if thee had been one of the common people, and not thesuperior of every man around thee! I don't want to hear anything moreabout the wicked Nebuchadnezzar. How long did thee stay with MariaEdgeworth?"

  "About four years," he replied; "and I might have remained much longer,for in that quiet life the advance of one's years was not likely to benoticed. I am sure Miss Edgeworth looked no older to me when I left herthan when I first saw her. But she was obliged to go into England tonurse her sick stepmother, and after her departure the place had noattractions for me, and I left Ireland."

  "I wonder," said Mrs. Crowder, a little maliciously, "that thee did notmarry her."

  Her husband laughed.

  "Englishwomen of her rank in society do not marry their gardeners, and,besides, in any case, she would not have suited me for a wife. For onereason, she was too homely."

  "Oh," exclaimed Mrs. Crowder, and she might have said more, but herhusband did not give her a chance.

  "I know I have talked a great deal about my days of poverty and misery,and now I will tell you something different. For a time I was the ruler ofall the Russias."

  "Ruler!" exclaimed Mrs. Crowder and I, almost in the same breath.

  "Yes," said he, "absolute ruler. And this was the way of it:

  "I was in Russia in the latter part of the seventeenth century, at a timewhen there was great excitement in royal and political circles. The youngczar Feodor had recently died, and he had named as his successor hishalf-brother Peter, a boy ten years of age, who afterward became Peter theGreat. The late czar's young brother Ivan should have succeeded him, buthe was almost an idiot. In this complicated state of things, thehalf-sister of Peter, the Princess Sophia, a young woman of wonderfulambition and really great abilities, rose to the occasion. She fomented arevolution; there was fighting, with all sorts of cruelties and horrors,and when affairs had quieted down she was princess regent, while the twoboys, Ivan and Peter, were waiting to see what would happen next.

  "She was really a woman admirably adapt
ed to her position. She was welleducated, wrote poetry, and knew how to play her part in public affairs.She presided in the councils, and her authority was without control; butshe was just as bloody-minded and cruel as anybody else in Russia.

  "Now, it so happened when the Princess Sophia was at the height of herpower, that I was her secretary. For five or six years I had been a teacherof languages in Moscow, and at one time I had given lessons to theprincess. In this way she had become well acquainted with me, and havingfrequently called upon me for information of one sort or another, sheconcluded to make me her secretary. Thus I was established at the court ofRussia. I had charge of all Sophia's public papers, and I often had a gooddeal to do with her private correspondence, but she signed and sealed allpapers of importance.

  "The Prince Galitzin, who had been her father's minister and was nowSophia's main supporter in all her autocratic designs and actions, foundhimself obliged to leave Moscow to attend to his private affairs on hisgreat estates, and to be absent for more than a month; and after hisdeparture the princess depended on me more than ever. Like many women inhigh positions, it was absolutely necessary for her to have a man on whomshe could lean with one hand while she directed her affairs with theother."

  "I do not think that is always necessary," said Mrs. Crowder, "at least, inthese days."

  "Perhaps not," said her husband, with a smile, "but it was then. But I mustget on with my story. One morning soon after Galitzin's departure, thehorses attached to the royal sledge ran away just outside of Moscow. Theprincess was thrown out upon the hard ground, and badly dislocated herright wrist. By the time she had been taken back to the palace her arm andhand were dreadfully swollen, and it was difficult for her surgeons to doanything for her.

  "I was called into the princess's room just after the three surgeons hadbeen sent to prison. I found her in great trouble, mental as well asphysical, and her principal anxiety was that she was afraid it would be along time before she would be able to use her hand and sign and seal theroyal acts and decrees. She had a certain superstition about this whichgreatly agitated her. If she could not sign and seal, she did not believeshe would be able to rule. Any one who understood the nature of thepolitical factions in Russia well knew that an uprising among the noblesmight occur upon any pretext, and no pretext could be so powerful as thesuspicion of incompetency in the sovereign. The seat of a ruler who didnot rule was extremely uncertain.

  "At that moment a paper of no great importance, which had been sent in toher before she went out in her sledge that morning, was lying on the tablenear her couch, and she was greatly worried because she could not sign it.I assured her she need not trouble herself about it, for I could attend toit. I had often affixed her initials and seal to unimportant papers.

  "The princess did not object to my proposition, but this was not enoughfor her. She had a deep mind, and she quickly concocted a scheme by whichher public business should be attended to, while at the same time itshould not be known that she did not attend to it. She caused it to begiven out that it was her ankle which had been injured, and not her wrist.She sent for another surgeon, and had him locked up in the palace when hewas not attending to her, so that he should tell no tales. Her ladies wereinformed that it would be very well for them to keep silent, and theyunderstood her. Then she arranged with me that all public business shouldbe brought to her; that I should sign and seal in her place, and should beher agent of communication with the court.

  "When this plan had been settled upon, the princess regained something ofher usual good spirits. 'As I never sign my name with my toes,' she saidto me, 'there is no reason why a sprained ankle should interfere with myroyal functions, and, for the present, you can be my right hand.'

  "This was a very fine plan, but it did not work as she expected it would.Her wrist became more and more painful, and fever set in, and on thesecond day, when I called upon her, I found she was in no condition toattend to business. She was irritable and drowsy. 'Don't annoy me withthat paper,' she said. 'If the wool-dealers ought to have their taxesincreased, increase them. You should not bring these trifles to me; but'--and now she regained for a moment her old acuteness--'remember this:don't let my administration stop.'

  "I understood her very well, and when I left her I saw my course plainbefore me. It was absolutely necessary that the exercise of royalfunctions by the Princess Sophia should appear to go on in its usual way;any stoppage would be a signal for a revolution. In order that this planshould be carried out, I must act for the princess regent; I must do whatI thought right, and it must be done in her name, exactly as if she hadordered it. I assumed the responsibilities without hesitation. While itwas supposed I was merely the private secretary of the princess, acting asher agent and mouthpiece, I was in fact the ruler of all the Russias."

  Mrs. Crowder opened her mouth as if she would gasp for breath, but she didnot say anything.

  "You can scarcely imagine, my dear," said he, "the delight with whichI assumed the powers so suddenly thrust upon me. I set myself to workwithout delay, and, as I knew all about the wool-dealers' business,I issued a royal decree decreasing their taxes. Poor creatures! theywere suffering enough already."

  "Good for thee!" exclaimed Mrs. Crowder.

  "I cannot tell you of all the reforms I devised, or even those whichI carried out. I knew that the fever of the princess, aggravated by theinflammation of her dislocated wrist, would continue for some time, andI bent all my energies to the work of doing as much good as I could in thevast empire under my control while I had the opportunity. And it was agreat opportunity, indeed! I did not want to do anything so radical as toarouse the opposition of the court, and therefore I directed my principalefforts to the amelioration of the condition of the people in theprovinces. It would be a long time before word could get back to thecapital of what I had done in those distant regions. By night and by daymy couriers were galloping in every direction, carrying good news to thepeasants of Russia. It was remarked by some of the councilors, when theyspoke of the municipal reforms I instituted, that the princess seemed tobe in a very humane state of mind; but none of them cared to interferewith what they supposed to be the sick-bed workings of her conscience. SoI ruled with a high hand, astonishing the provincial officials, andcausing thousands of downtrodden subjects to begin to believe that perhapsthey were really human beings, with some claim on royal justice andkindness.

  "I fairly reveled in my imperial power, but I never forgot to be prudent.I lessened the duties and slightly increased the pay of the militaryregiments stationed in and about Moscow, and thus the Princess Sophiabecame very popular with the army, and I felt safe. I went in to see theprincess every day, and several times when she was in her right mind sheasked me if everything was going on well, and once when I assured her thatall was progressing quietly and satisfactorily, she actually thanked me.This was a good deal for a Russian princess. If she had known how thepeople were thanking _her_, I do not know what would have happened.

  "For twenty-one days I reigned over Russia. If I had been able to do it,I should have made each day a year; I felt that I was in my proper place."

  "And thee was right," said Mrs. Crowder, her eyes sparkling. "I believethat at that time thee was the only monarch in the world who was worthy toreign." And with a loyal pride, as if he had just stepped from a throne,she put her hand upon his arm.

  "Yes," said Mr. Crowder, "I honestly believe that I was a good monarch,and I will admit that in those days such personages were extremely scarce.So my imperial sway proceeded with no obstruction until I was informedthat Prince Galitzin was hastening to Moscow, on his return from hisestates, and was then within three days' journey of the capital. Now Iprepared to lay down the tremendous power which I had wielded with suchimmense satisfaction to myself, and with such benefit, I do not hesitateto say, to the people of Russia. The effects of my rule are still to beperceived in some of the provinces of Russia, and decrees I made more thantwo hundred years ago are in force in many villages along the east
ern sideof the Volga.

  "The day before Prince Galitzin was expected, I visited Sophia for thelast time. She was a great deal better, and much pleased by the expectedarrival of her minister. She even gave me some commands, but when I lefther I did not execute them. I would not have my reign sullied by any ofher mandates. That afternoon, in a royal sledge, with the royalpermission, given by myself, to travel where and how I pleased, I leftMoscow. Frequent relays of horses carried me rapidly beyond danger ofpursuit, and so, in course of time, I passed the boundaries of the empireof Russia, over which for three weeks I had ruled, an absolute autocrat."

  "Does thee know," said Mrs. Crowder, "that two or three times I expectedthee to say that thee married Sophia?"

  Mr. Crowder laughed. "That is truly a wild notion," said he.

  "I don't think it is wild at all," she replied. "In the course of thy lifethee has married a great many plain persons. In some ways that princesswould have suited thee as a wife, and if thee had really married her andhad become her royal consort, like Prince Albert, thee might have made agreat change in her. But, after all, it would have been a pity tointerfere with the reign of Peter the Great."